To hold a wish to punish someone begins with the unconscious embrace of the very pain we wish to inflict. And with every pain the reactionary self hurls back at its adversary, all it does is condemn itself to continue cycling through the level of ignorance that produces this pain to begin with. So, with each blow this unconscious nature delivers, it just creates for itself the need for the next set of blows. Source: Break Out of the Cycle of Hurting and Being Hurt – Positively Positive!!