Self-Compassion, Not Love

I agree…



In the end, I think it’s less about self-love than it is about self-compassion. “Love”‘s tricky. Sometime we confuse love for admiration, infatuation for love, acceptance for love, love for friendship, love for a whole host of things. But self-compassion is being kind, or compassionate, to yourself when you’ve messed up or you’re suffering. It’s not about how you think you’re the shit all the time, which ‘self-love’ might imply. I think of it from a third party perspective. This third party’s a compassionate figure, like–like Buddha or Jesus or, if that’s not your cup of tea, your kind forgiving grandmother. When you make a mistake, these figures don’t shit on you for it. They don’t say that you’re stupid so that’s why you failed the test or you’re actually fundamentally terrible so that’s why things ended. They say things like oh, it’s okay, it was just this one test,

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Training the Mind

The first seven verses of the Eight Verses for Training the Mind deal with the practices associated with cultivating the method aspect of the path such as compassion, altruism, aspiration to attain buddhahood, and so on. The eighth verse deals with the practices that are directed toward cultivating the wisdom aspect of the path. Source: Training the Mind | The 14th Dalai Lama

Five Ways to Be a Friend to Yourself and Why This is Important

Another great post from a lovely blog and blogger…

Love is Stronger

We don’t always realize it, but how we treat ourselves, what we say to ourselves, and what we think about ourselves tremendously impacts us. We are the closet person to us, and so if we treat ourselves in a continually hostile or cruel manner, it can lead to feelings of depression, anxiety, and worthlessness.

On the other hand, if we treat ourselves with continual compassion, support, and respect, we can create a safe and loving space for ourselves. This space is a refuge in the worst of times and a joyful abode in our life in general.

Unfortunately, many of us receive very little training in how to be a good friend to ourselves. Perhaps this is because we (i.e. people in general) have a general dislike of selfishness, egocentricity, and narcissism (for good reason), and perhaps we worry that too much friendship with ourselves will lead to these undesirable…

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If Your Life Is a Movie and You’re the Director, Why Did You Add This Scene to It?

I don’t believe “everything happens for a reason” or that the world is fair. If we pause for even a moment to consider the victims of war and violence, as well as those who live in true poverty, I’d never want to suggest that somehow they imposed those tragedies on their lives. But if we leave trauma aside and focus instead on our lives of ordinary ups and downs, perhaps it’s helpful to consider the scenario of our life as a movie, with scenes added or deleted by the director. Source: If Your Life Is a Movie and You’re the Director, Why Did You Add This Scene to It? – Positively Positive!!

Because of You

A lovely poem for you…

Yoga Mom

I made it through the long dark night
because of you.
You who read my words
and answered my questions,
who tested my assertions
and suggested space
for different conclusions.
I’m still here
because of your presence,
a great gift of light
revealing the truth
that had been obscured
during the long dark night.
Never question your gifts;
never doubt your talents.
You rose to the occasion,
provided a pause of sanity
when my mind was clouded
with every possible lie,
you gave my light room
to breathe and expand,
and I could believe in myself again.
I made it through the long dark night
because of you.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank You.

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Gotta have these boots. Now. Right Now.

Another interesting aspect of our obsession with smartphones…

Live & Learn

Dianne Alfaro sat in a pew in the back of St. Patrick’s Cathedral in Manhattan, her head bowed during Mass on Sunday morning. She cast her eyes down as the hymn “Jerusalem My Happy Home” swelled around her.

As the words “Hosanna in the highest!” echoed in the cathedral, she never looked up. That is, until she finished buying a pair of black boots off the internet on her iPhone.

“At some point, the priest during the Mass says, ‘Lift up your hearts.’ He does not say, ‘Lift up your cellphones to take pictures,’” Pope Francis said last week during a general audience at St. Peter’s Square in Vatican City, where he urged Catholics to leave their phones home.

But during Sunday Mass at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, it seemed either the pontiff’s message had not yet reached across the Atlantic or the churchgoers were not listening.

Beside a font of…

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