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What do you mean?

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7 Ways Childhood Trauma Shows Up in Your Romantic Relationships via @TinyBuddha

Without healing and inner work, we unconsciously play out patterns from the past and stop ourselves from having a fulfilling relationship. Source: 7 Ways Childhood Trauma Shows Up in Your Romantic Relationships – Tiny Buddha

Early childhood trauma?

Tell me about it. Every Saturday night when I went to visit my grandmother! But, what I wouldn’t give to be forced to watch it with her now… :-(

Brené Brown with Chris Germer on Compassion

Brené Brown with Bono on Songs of Surrender

That time Brené Brown interviewed Richard Rohr

Understanding Defensiveness As A Coping Skill

Why Do We Get Defensive?

Defensiveness can mean trying to counter or deny criticisms in areas where you feel sensitive, afraid, guilty, or deceitful. In some cases, defensiveness may arise if you felt the need to use specific coping skills in childhood or adolescence to survive, and those skills were helpful at the time. As an adult, however, defensiveness may no longer serve you. Additionally, defensive habits may cause difficulties in pushing others away or communicating. Source: Understanding Defensiveness As A Coping Skill | BetterHelp

Fast Car (live acoustic cover feat. @MarySpender)

Sultans of Swing (metal cover by Leo Moracchioli feat. @MarySpender)

Curiosity Is a Key to Well-Being

Why asking more questions can change your life. Source: Curiosity Is a Key to Well-Being

Smells Like Teen Spirit on Kurt Cobain’s 1953 Martin D-18 “Grandpa” with @maryspender

LOVE me some Mary Spender!!!

Being Too Nice is Harmful, 2 Things We Need for Healing

The psychology of NATE THE GREAT | a therapist breaks down the Ted Lasso character


Engaging in religious practice, even if you don’t believe, may increase your capacity to delay gratification

New research finds when non-believers engage in Buddhist practices, they experience an increase in their capacity for patience. In a five-part study, published the European Journal of Social Psychology, non-believers visited a Buddhist temple or chanted, then completed an assessment of self-control. Source: Engaging in religious practice, even if you don’t believe, may increase your capacity to delay gratification

7 Brutal Truths Every Happily Divorced Person Knows

Don’t just move on after a divorce … thrive. Source: 7 Brutal Truths Every Happily Divorced Person Knows

Start me up

I used to start my day every morning by saying ‘Alexa, start my day’ and I’d get a mix of the latest national, state and local news and I’d listen in the background while I’d drink my coffee and wake up. Last week I changed that habit and instead I now say ‘Alexa, shuffle the ‘Start me up’ playlist on everywhere’ and my entire apartment is filled with my favorite upbeat music. I start my day singing and dancing and I continue to listen while I walk a couple of miles, stretch and meditate and my life is better as a result. Here’s my list in case you’d like to use it — I think my taste in music’s pretty good thanks to decades of listening to 93XRT in Chicago and I think that with the help of Spotify I’m a pretty good curator. If you think you can do better do it! The question is what can you do to get your day off to a better start?

Unfuck yourself!

Recently, I said to a good friend ‘I accept that my life is fucked. Now I need to know what to do to UNFUCK it.’ and that reminded me of author Gary John Bishop and his book Unfuck Yourself:

“It’s not that you have to find the answer, you are the answer.” This book will require you to seek the answer, not out there, but inside of yourself. It’s not that you have to find the answer, you are the answer. As I’ve said to my clients many, many times, people spend their lives waiting for the cavalry, all the while never realizing they are the cavalry. Your life is waiting on you to finally show up.

Bishop, Gary John. Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life (pp. 15-16). HarperOne. Kindle Edition.

If you’re the kind of person that sometimes needs a good Scottish coach to tell you to get your shit together, then Gary John may be just what you need!

If you like the video then you’ll love the book!

If this kind of talking to gets you energized, then check out his YouTube channel and you can get his podcasts on your favorite player.

The Most Eye Opening 10 Minutes Of Your Life by Dr Gabor Maté

When Life Hurts, Care Less About It: The Philosophy of Marcus Aurelius

I Worry I’ll Never Change – Here’s Why I Still Accept Myself via @TinyBuddha

I no longer fool myself into thinking anything is wrong with me. I embrace all of who I am, with compassion for the parts of me that struggle. Source: I Worry I’ll Never Change – Here’s Why I Still Accept Myself – Tiny Buddha

Gabor Mate on Dear Gabby

The ROOT CAUSE Of Trauma & Why You FEEL LOST In Life

Dr. Maté generously shares his deep understanding of childhood trauma, vulnerability, grief, and emotional distress. He explains what real trauma is and how time doesn’t necessarily lead to healing, how vulnerability is ingrained in us since we are young and the importance of these formative years to mold our emotional health, and the societal expectations we always try to meet but have never truly given us real fulfillment. We also exchange thoughts on dealing with grief, how we struggle to identify with the people we look up to, and how childhood experience varies for every child even when they are raised in a similar environment.

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