Dr. Maté generously shares his deep understanding of childhood trauma, vulnerability, grief, and emotional distress. He explains what real trauma is and how time doesn’t necessarily lead to healing, how vulnerability is ingrained in us since we are young and the importance of these formative years to mold our emotional health, and the societal expectations we always try to meet but have never truly given us real fulfillment. We also exchange thoughts on dealing with grief, how we struggle to identify with the people we look up to, and how childhood experience varies for every child even when they are raised in a similar environment.
What ACEs do you have? There are 10 types of childhood trauma measured in the CDC-Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences Study. The number of ACEs and offsetting PCEs play a huge role in your childhood growth and development and could give you insight into addictive behaviors. Go to the source: What ACEs/PCEs do you have?
Gabor Mate explains the significance of childhood trauma here:
Gabor Maté CM (born January 6, 1944) is a Hungarian-born Canadian physician. He has a background in family practice and a special interest in childhood development and trauma, and in their potential lifelong impacts on physical and mental health, including on autoimmune disease, cancer, ADHD, addictions, and a wide range of other conditions. Now retired from clinical practice, he travels and speaks extensively on these and related topics, both in North America and abroad. His books have been published internationally in over twenty-five languages. Maté’s approach to addiction focuses on the trauma his patients have suffered and looks to address this in their recovery, with special regard to indigenous populations around the world.
I love listening to Ashley Berges talk about mental health issues. Here’s a sample of her work that is relevant in my life today.
Making small changes in our connections with people — whether it’s our nearest and dearest or strangers at the store — can yield big results. Source: 6 relationship resolutions to make this year
It’s how you try to get those needs met that causes problems. Source: What You Need in Your Marriage Isn’t the Problem
Here are some things to consider as you initiate and reinforce boundaries. Source: 5 Things to Know About Setting Boundaries
If you in a toxic cycle of anxiously clinging to people with avoidant attachment styles, this might help you break your pattern. Source: The Agony of Anxious Attachment and How to Attract Better Relationships – Tiny Buddha
A recent review of research on deception. Source: Research Shows What Questions to Ask to Get Honest Answers
Almost 20 years ago, Helen Fisher helped revolutionize dating. She has no regrets. Source: The Woman Who Made Online Dating Into a ‘Science’ (Hint: Load this article into an incognito page to bypass the Atlantic paygate.)
Finally! A psychologist that’s sharing a positive perspective on men: “The different ways men and women assist others”. Source: Celebrating Men: Examining Helping Behavior
Helping is smart because it’s the right thing to do, but there’s always this…
Complaining that our partner has changed since we married misses the point. Source: Every Marriage Is a Bait and Switch
Another good article from Arthur Brooks. This time? Three steps to get over your ex. Source: Breakups Always Hurt, but You Can Shorten the Suffering
For those who don’t have a good reference in their own lives. Source: What a Healthy Partnership Looks Like
Wait…do guys have feelings too?! Source: 10 Basic Needs Men Have In Relationships
“Fierce intimacy” may be the safest route to emotional vulnerability. Source: Why Discord, Paradoxically, Is Vital in Close Relationships
It seems inevitable that with time away from screens and stress, and time spent in nature, we start reflecting on larger themes and questions in our lives, and we start asking our loved ones deeper questions. Here are some of our favorite questions to ask to get to know our family and friends better. Source: Our Favorite Conversation Starters – Getaway Journal
Despite its prevalence, stigma and shame can exacerbate the pain and loss. Source: Estrangement: The Silent Epidemic
A community can serve as a social safety net, but finding one and becoming a part of it is different from simply making friends. Source: Why community matters so much — and how to find yours
Being with others to avoid being alone will not bring you intimacy. Source: Why You Need to Be Happy Alone to Be Close to Another Person
No one other than your partner may know what you’re saying, but that’s exactly the point. Source: Weird Little Noises Are What a Great Relationship Sound Like