7 Things He Should Do For You Every Single Day — If He’s Legit

Here’s how the both of you can make your relationship better. Source: 7 Things He Should Do For You Every Single Day — If He’s Legit

What can attachment theory teach you about yourself and your relationships?

Confession. I struggle with attachment styles and I’m looking to change mine. It starts with an assessment you can find in the article I reference here: “How do you feel when your partner doesn’t respond to your text right away? Is it easy for you to express your feelings to friends or loved ones, or do you struggle? Do you stay in touch with exes? Worry your current partner will leave you?

How you answered those questions can offer some insight into your attachment style. According to the field of attachment theory, each person has a unique attachment style that informs how you relate to intimacy: secure, anxious, avoidant and a small subset who are anxious-avoidant.” Source: What can attachment theory teach you about yourself and your relationships? : Life Kit : NPR

Here’s how I scored:

LOL. How can someone be secure and anxious at the same time? That’s what I need to understand! No doubt it has to do with my origin story but I can’t that narrative rule me for the rest of my life…

Survey Reveals The #1 Quality That Makes A Man Worth Marrying

What’s the ‘one thing’?

The survey says “the vast majority of respondents agree that the number one quality that makes a man worth marrying is his ability to communicate, followed closely by honesty and reliability.”

Survey Reveals The #1 Quality That Makes A Man Worth Marrying | YourTango

Love and ‘limerance’

No, you’re not crazy. Source: The Reason You’re So Obsessed With Him Isn’t Love, It’s Limerence

Why Being Broken Up With Is A Win-Win Situation

“It seems like couples are breaking up left and right. January is the #1 month for filing for divorce, and then in February, we all get attacked by heart-shaped candy boxes.Sure, the seductive holiday marketing might make you feel like being recently single is a double burn. But being alone on V-Day is better than being with someone who doesn’t think you’re as awesome as you are.

Why Being Broken Up With Is A Win-Win Situation | YourTango

New Research Shows There Are Actually Seven Love Styles, Not Five

Truity’s original research with over 500,000 volunteers drives the creation of a new 7 Love Styles test, showing how we give and receive love in modern relationships. Source: New Research Shows There Are Actually Seven Love Styles, Not Five

Reasons Not to Fall in Love

“Is love all you need? Current societal narratives tell us that romantic love is an ‘ultimate concern;’ it’s the highest goal a human being can attain. We’re all after it; many, if not most, books, poetry, music, and films revolve around it. Ultimately, beyond everything life offers, we all want a romantic relationship providing us with an undying love that allows us to live happily ever after and washes away our sorrows. But unfortunately, in the vast majority of cases, romantic love isn’t what it’s promised to be.”

Recommended reading: https://helenfisher.com/the-tyranny-of-love-love-addiction-an-anthropologists-view/

The ROOT CAUSE Of Trauma & Why You FEEL LOST In Life

Dr. Maté generously shares his deep understanding of childhood trauma, vulnerability, grief, and emotional distress. He explains what real trauma is and how time doesn’t necessarily lead to healing, how vulnerability is ingrained in us since we are young and the importance of these formative years to mold our emotional health, and the societal expectations we always try to meet but have never truly given us real fulfillment. We also exchange thoughts on dealing with grief, how we struggle to identify with the people we look up to, and how childhood experience varies for every child even when they are raised in a similar environment.

What ACEs/PCEs do you have?

What ACEs do you have? There are 10 types of childhood trauma measured in the CDC-Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences Study. The number of ACEs and offsetting PCEs play a huge role in your childhood growth and development and could give you insight into addictive behaviors. Go to the source: What ACEs/PCEs do you have?

Gabor Mate explains the significance of childhood trauma here:

How Childhood Trauma Leads to Addiction

Gabor Maté CM (born January 6, 1944) is a Hungarian-born Canadian physician. He has a background in family practice and a special interest in childhood development and trauma, and in their potential lifelong impacts on physical and mental health, including on autoimmune disease, cancer, ADHD, addictions, and a wide range of other conditions. Now retired from clinical practice, he travels and speaks extensively on these and related topics, both in North America and abroad. His books have been published internationally in over twenty-five languages. Maté’s approach to addiction focuses on the trauma his patients have suffered and looks to address this in their recovery, with special regard to indigenous populations around the world.

Someone is talking behind your back and you want them to stop?

I love listening to Ashley Berges talk about mental health issues. Here’s a sample of her work that is relevant in my life today.

6 relationship resolutions to make this year

Making small changes in our connections with people — whether it’s our nearest and dearest or strangers at the store — can yield big results. Source: 6 relationship resolutions to make this year

What You Need in Your Marriage Isn’t the Problem

It’s how you try to get those needs met that causes problems. Source: What You Need in Your Marriage Isn’t the Problem

5 Things to Know About Setting Boundaries

Here are some things to consider as you initiate and reinforce boundaries. Source: 5 Things to Know About Setting Boundaries

The Agony of Anxious Attachment and How to Attract Better Relationships via @TinyBuddha

If you in a toxic cycle of anxiously clinging to people with avoidant attachment styles, this might help you break your pattern. Source: The Agony of Anxious Attachment and How to Attract Better Relationships – Tiny Buddha

Research Shows What Questions to Ask to Get Honest Answers

A recent review of research on deception. Source: Research Shows What Questions to Ask to Get Honest Answers

The Woman Who Made Online Dating Into a ‘Science’

Almost 20 years ago, Helen Fisher helped revolutionize dating. She has no regrets. Source: The Woman Who Made Online Dating Into a ‘Science’ (Hint: Load this article into an incognito page to bypass the Atlantic paygate.)

Celebrating Men: Examining Helping Behavior

Finally! A psychologist that’s sharing a positive perspective on men: “The different ways men and women assist others”. Source: Celebrating Men: Examining Helping Behavior

Helping is smart because it’s the right thing to do, but there’s always this…

And this…

Every Marriage Is a Bait and Switch

Complaining that our partner has changed since we married misses the point. Source: Every Marriage Is a Bait and Switch

Breakups Always Hurt, but You Can Shorten the Suffering

Another good article from Arthur Brooks. This time? Three steps to get over your ex. Source: Breakups Always Hurt, but You Can Shorten the Suffering

What a Healthy Partnership Looks Like

For those who don’t have a good reference in their own lives. Source: What a Healthy Partnership Looks Like

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