Self-acceptance…

Melody-Beattie-8x6.jpgMelody Beattie writes:

Self-acceptance is a more humble term than self-esteem or self-love. Self-love has tones of narcissism—me first and to heck with you. Self-esteem rings of pride—holding our­selves up higher than everybody else. Self-acceptance is that gentle place we get to when we make peace with who we are.

“For a long time, when I talked to certain people. I got squeamish and uncomfortable. like it wasn’t okay to be me.” a friend said. “I thought it was me being uncomfort­able with myself. I’ve finally learned that I’m responding to how uncomfortable some people feel about themselves.”

We might feel so awkward about ourselves that we believe we have to be different from who we are. Some of that comes from low self-worth, not believing that we’re okay. Or it can stem from a need to control. We think if we pretend to be different or better. we can manipulate how other people feel about us.

Some of us don’t know who we are. Other people tell us to be who we are, but when we look in the mirror. we see a blank spot. If we weren’t encouraged as children to be who we are – or if we were forced to be something or  someone other than who we are – it can take time and effort to gain a comfortable sense of ourselves.

Yes. we have things to change and learn. And through­out this year, we are working on values to apply. But whether we’re at work. in relationships, or trudging our spiritual path. we don’t haye to be anyone other than ourselves. We do our job. we love other people, we correct our mistakes and try to change. But not from that awkward, uncomfortable place of faking who we are.

Value: Self-acceptance is the value this week.

via February 26 – from “52 Weeks of Conscious Contact”.

6 thoughts on “Self-acceptance…

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  1. I prefer the term self-respect, over any of the mentioned phrases, a term which implies that one is holding oneself up to certain standards; thus, living up to them becomes our task, in order to maintain that respect. To me, self-acceptance can be fine, when suffering from a lack of confidence, but may also be used to justify behavior that is not acceptable, making it an indulgence more than a motivation, or even a virtue…. It is, as you say, preferable to either of the other two, both of which are self-centered more than is comfortable to me….

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