Observa-se que as florestas há muito têm sido um lugar de limpar as nossas mentes, pelo simples ato de passear por elas. Eis que surgi o banho de floresta. Source: Banho de floresta – A nova terapia para eliminar o estresse ⋆ Jardim do Mundo
Consider this, however. Have you ever been at the ocean? Do you know what it’s like to drop below the waves and watch them from underneath? I have noticed that if you stay on the surface you can get pounded by wave after wave but if you drop a few feet below the surface, all you feel is a gentle tug.
This past weekend, I faced wave after wave of fears. I found that when I stayed on the surface, I was at the mercy of every memory and thought that rolled in but if I could drop down into myself and find a quite place, the ‘waves’ had no effect.
In her book True Refuge, teacher Tara Brach says this:
“I recently read in the book My Stroke of Insight by brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor that the natural life span of an emotion—the average time it takes for it to move through the nervous system and body—is only a minute and a half. After that we need thoughts to keep the emotion rolling. So if we wonder why we lock into painful emotional states like anxiety, depression, or rage, we need look no further than our own endless stream of inner dialogue.” ~ True Refuge
One tool I used was to ‘pay attention’ to thoughts but journaling them in Evernote and most of ,u fears seemed to be appeased by the recognition of documentation. For the rest, I used Tara Brach’s RAIN acronym:
- Investigate with Kindness
If only I could claim perfection! This approach, however, did help me ‘drop under the waves’ and become happier overall…
- Awakening Through Conflict ~ Tara Brach (evolutionarymystic.wordpress.com)
- RAIN- Cultivating a Mindful Awareness ~ Tara Brach (evolutionarymystic.wordpress.com)
- True Refuge- Finding Peace and Freedom in Your Own Awakened Heart ~ Tara Brach (evolutionarymystic.wordpress.com)
- “Real but not True” Tara Brach (willowmariewrites.com)
- Talks With Tara: The God Whom I Love… (miraculousendeavors.org)
Remembering Love (from IMCW Spring Retreat) – The habit of self-judgment not only causes emotional pain, it creates a trance that obscures the purity and vastness of our Being. This talk explores how a wakeful and forgiving heart can heal and free us…
“The reality is each one of us has caused hurt to other people and each one of us has been hurt by other people. But if we keep running the story of “You hurt me; you’re bad” or “I hurt you; I’m bad” all that happen is a looping that creates separation. What if instead we say the story is that I hurt you and we let that story be there, we don’t put it aside too quickly…
We let it be there and we feel what it feels like in our body. The very presence with that vulnerability awakens compassion. Now the trick — because this is where there can be more suffering is to take the story “I caused you suffering” and to get stuck on the “I’m bad, I’m bad, I’m bad”. We’re wedded to the story and we don’t have access to deeper presence…
So the pathway I am describing to you, and it takes a real sensitivity, is that when stories arise in our mind — to not to quickly go ‘it’s just a story, back to the breath’ because that is just another form of aversion and denial — is to let it be there a bit, but not to believe the story.”
She goes on to say “the story behind some of the more drama stories is really the story of Self. As we open to this presence, we wake up out of that core story that keeps us separate”.
You can hear the whole talk here:
*I tried to transcribe it as best I could; this is NOT an official transcription…
Mel Schwartz, L.C.S.W. M.Phil. writes:
I have come to believe that the way the term self-esteem is used is actually a misnomer. The first half of the expression, self, would seem to indicate that esteem, the second half of the expression, is derived from one’s self. Yet if we look closer, we find that most people seek a sense of worthiness from that which lies outside of them. For a student, it might come from good grades; for a businessperson or worker, it’s derived from a promotion or a raise; and for most individuals, praise or acknowledgement provide a temporary increase in esteem. Our society generates billions of dollars in revenues from inducing people to seek the quick fix of vanity as a means toward feeling better. Yet none of these actually contributes one iota to self-esteem. Ironically, they may even get in the way.
Continue reading: Self Esteem or Other Esteem? | Psychology Today.
Shelly Bullard writes:
Sometimes we fail to support our partners in becoming the best versions of the of themselves because we’re scared of what that means for us. What if he wants something I don’t want? What if her desire takes her away from me?
We fear if he learns to fly, he might fly away. So we hold our partners back, sometimes without even knowing it. This strategy always backfires – it ends up holding our relationships back, as well.
But there’s a way to feel safe enough to support your partner to fly, and why doing so will take your relationship to new heights of love.
Get the rest of the article here: How To Be A Supportive Partner (And What You Gain As A Result)
I love Shelly’s writing — always powerful and prescient! You can find more of her stuff here…
- Top 7 signs your love relationship is struggling (insideawarenessblog.wordpress.com)
- Create The Relationship You Deserve (howdidwegettohere.wordpress.com)
- Healing Broken Trust in Your Relationship (peopleliferelationship.wordpress.com)
- Fixing a Broken Relationship (thesbworld.wordpress.com)
At this moment [which is all I have and all I am] this seems to me to be the most beautiful poem I have ever read:
Why wait for your awakening?
The moment your eyes are open, seize the day.
Would you hold back when the Beloved beckons?
Would you deliver your litany of sins like a child’s collection of sea shells, prized and labeled?
“No, I can’t step across the threshold,” you say, eyes downcast.
“I’m not worthy” I’m afraid, and my motives aren’t pure.
I’m not perfect, and surely I haven’t practiced nearly enough.
My meditation isn’t deep, and my prayers are sometimes insincere.
I still chew my fingernails, and the refrigerator isn’t clean.
“Do you value your reasons for staying small more than the light shining through the open door?
Now is the only time you have to be whole.
Now is the sole moment that exists to live in the light of your true Self. Perfection is not a prerequisite for anything but pain.
Please, oh please, don’t continue to believe in your disbelief.
This is the day of your awakening.
If this poem resonates with you as well, here are two Tara Brach meditations on self-compassion that I’d like to share with you. “All I plead with you is this” she says “make love of yourself perfect”…
Interesting perspective from Dr. Guy Winch:
People usually wish they had higher self-esteem because they want to feel more confident and assured. But having higher self-esteem can do much more for us than simply boost our confidence. A variety of studies have begun to demonstrate that self-esteem can endow us with a layer of emotional resilience when we encounter common psychological injuries such as rejection and failure, as well as insulate us from stress and anxiety. The picture these studies are painting implies that in many ways our self-esteem functions very much like an emotional immune system.
Self-Esteem as an Emotional Immune System
Although experts are still debating what self-esteem actually is (defining such constructs is always tricky in psychology research), we do know quite a bit about what it does. In terms of its general behavior, our self-esteem fluctuates from day to day and sometimes, from hour to hour—much as our physical immune system does. When we’re having a ‘good self-esteem day’, we not only feel different about ourselves but we respond differently to stresses from our environment.
Go to the source to get the rest of his thinking on the topic, especially his thoughts on How to Boost Self-Esteem and Enhance Your Emotional Immune System…
“Yes, we have these great ideals about how we’ve supposed to be […] we don’t have to pretend that our irritablity is not there or compare it unfavorably with our ideal version of ourselves. We could simply take a breath and say, “This is how I am — this is anger, this is fear, this is irritation.” […] In that regard I would like to read to you my new favorite little piece: “If you can sit quietly after difficult news, if in financial downturns you remain perfectly calm, if you can see your neighbors travel to fantastic places without a twinge of jealousy, if you can happily eat whatever is put on your plate and fall asleep after a day of running around without a drink or a pill, if you can always find contentment just where you are, you are probably a dog.”