Melody Beattie writes:
“Shame can hold us back, hold us down, and keep us staring at our feet.” Beyond Codependency
Watch out for shame.
Many systems and people reek of shame. They are controlled by shame and may want us to play their game with them. They may be hoping to hook us and control us through shame.
We dont have to fall into their shame. Instead, we’ll take the good feelings self, acceptance, love, and nurturing.
Compulsive behaviors, sexually addictive behaviors, overeating, chemical abuse, and addictive gambling are shame-based behaviors. If we participate in them, we will feel ashamed. Its inevitable. We need to watch out for addictive and other compulsive behaviors because those will immerse us in shame.
Our past, and the brainwashing we may have had that imposed original shame upon us, may try to put shame on us. This can happen when were all alone, walking through the grocery store or just quietly going about living our life. Dont think. Dont feel. Dont grow or change. Dont be alive. Dont live life. Be ashamed!
Be done with shame. Attack shame. Go to war with it. Learn to recognize it and avoid it like the plague.
Today, I will deliberately refuse to get caught up in the shame floating around in the world. If I cannot resist it, I will feel it, accept it, then be done with it as quickly as possible. God, help me know that its OK to love myself and help me refuse to submit to shame. If I get off course, help me learn to change shame into guilt, correct the behavior, and move forward with my life in immediate self-love.” via Adult Children Anonymous.
Related articles
- Shame is a Useless Emotion (tinagilbertson.wordpress.com)
- To different people a criminal may be a… (quotingtanay.wordpress.com)
- self-sabotage and shame (heartjunky.wordpress.com)
- Gambling (ffeirio.wordpress.com)
- Codepedence is not just an issue for partners of addicts (toddlohenry.com)
Bright, shiny objects! 
Thanks for the ping-back, Tom!
I will put forth the idea that compassion in my experience is far more effective than any kind of ‘attack’ or further rejection / repression of self or other. There is a reason for shame, a cause of our pain (or others’) that needs to be valued and understood. I believe that the most damage we can do to ourselves or others is in failing to find the way to compassion.
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Hmmm. I have to think about that one. I’d rather hunt shame down and kill it…
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