Here’s my suggestion for what to do when you find yourself in the company of people whose views differ from yours. Grant them the benefit of the doubt as to their intentions unless their views are morally indefensible to you. (My list of morally indefensible includes discrimination against people based on their race, religion, ethnicity, country of birth, gender, sexual orientation, disability.) Prejudice against any of these people is a deal-breaker for me because it’s an attack on our fundamental human right to be who we are and to live as we please so long as we’re not harming others.
I suggest that if a friend or relative crosses your deal-breaker line, speak up—but not in anger. Without attacking the other person—and with as much care as you can muster—state your views as skillfully as you can. Then, if the other person wants to start an argument with you, refuse to contend with him or her. I love these words from the Thai Buddhist monk Ajahn Chah: “If there is no one to receive it, the letter is sent back.”