As I get older and hopefully more emotionally mature, things like ‘THE truth trigger me’. As Khalil Gibran said ‘do not say I have found the truth, instead say I have found A truth’ — that’s the reason for the change in the title. Now, enjoy the article…
“You’re not angry; you feel powerless. Here’s what you can do about it. Source: The Truth About Anger“
Dr. Maté generously shares his deep understanding of childhood trauma, vulnerability, grief, and emotional distress. He explains what real trauma is and how time doesn’t necessarily lead to healing, how vulnerability is ingrained in us since we are young and the importance of these formative years to mold our emotional health, and the societal expectations we always try to meet but have never truly given us real fulfillment. We also exchange thoughts on dealing with grief, how we struggle to identify with the people we look up to, and how childhood experience varies for every child even when they are raised in a similar environment.
What ACEs do you have? There are 10 types of childhood trauma measured in the CDC-Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences Study. The number of ACEs and offsetting PCEs play a huge role in your childhood growth and development and could give you insight into addictive behaviors. Go to the source: What ACEs/PCEs do you have?
Gabor Mate explains the significance of childhood trauma here:
Of all the opinions I’ve heard in the past week, I find this one the most useful in understanding why I was so disturbed by what I saw.
Blow said “I saw an expression of toxic masculinity how men too often… profess to protect the vulnerable with violence when in fact they’re animated by their own fragility”. To this I simply say ‘yes’.
Anger poisons relationships, yet anger can easily become a too-frequent habit. Learn more here: Needless Angers: Can They Be Eliminated?
Disappointment can lead to a downward spiral. Read this to ‘check yo’self before you wreck yo’self’! Go to the source: 5 Ways to Manage Disappointment
Here’s another post I did on the topic 10 years ago and there’s more reading here…
What repressed anger looks like. Source: 5 Symptoms of Repressed Anger
Anger is natural and necessary for surviving and flourishing. Yet when we are hooked by anger, it causes personal and collective suffering: Anger: Responding, Not Reacting
We need to focus on what we want (not what’s missing!): Signs of a Healthy Relationship
Avoidance will only foster more conflict. Aim for a shared understanding with these techniques from an expert mediator: How to have a difficult conversation | Psyche Guides
Research shows how pain and anger infect on social media and in relationships: How Anger Spreads Like a Virus
The dangers of comparison: 12 Ways Social Media Affects Relationships, From Research & Experts
To love well, balance autonomy and connection: Love in the Profound Part of the Brain
The anger that keeps on giving: How to Deal with a Badmouthing Ex
Today’s National Day of Mourning can help us build toward justice for all: How to Use Anger as a Catalyst for Action
When the people have to manage dangers from inside the organization, the organization itself becomes less able to face the dangers from outside. Truly human leadership protects an organization from the internal rivalries that can shatter a culture. When we have to protect ourselves from each other, the whole organization suffers. But when trust and cooperation thrive internally, we pull together and the organization grows stronger as a result.
Sinek, Simon. Leaders Eat Last Deluxe (p. 16). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
Managing disappointment is a key to success in life and love: Disappointment
These 3 rules for voicing your criticisms are game changers: 3 Simple Rules for Criticizing a Difficult Person
When women stop apologizing for and start owning their rage, change happens: The Power and Shame of Women’s Anger
“If you care about understanding something, then you need to study it, either learning from others’ experience or collecting the data yourself that would allow you to test the causal claim of your common sense theory. In the absence of data, we are all free to speculate, but it is worth reminding yourself that your speculation is exactly that; a flimsy common-sense story that is vulnerable to being blown over by a gust of actual evidence. The common-sense stories we tell to make sense of the world may be compelling, but they are not evidence.
This understanding is essential to taking our own common sense with the grain of salt that it deserves. What seems like common sense to us is, to a great extent, driven by intuition. And, as authors like Daniel Kahneman, Max Bazerman, Dan Ariely, Richard Thaler, and Cass Sunstein have written about so articulately, intuitive judgment is beset by biases. It is possible to train your intuition to improve its fidelity, but that requires substantial training, practice, and feedback. It is rare that life provides us with sufficient training, practice, and feedback. Without them, it is dangerous to place too much confidence in your common-sense intuitions.”
Why it’s easy to be overconfident in our intuitions: The False Prophet of Common Sense
Research on anger explains why the online world can be so toxic: Is Anger Addictive? Is it Worse Online?
Bright, shiny objects! 
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