Don’t overdo it

“So, you surrendered. You let go. Now you’re ready to face a particular challenge. So you hunker down and garner all your forces. And you hit the wall again.

“What’s wrong?” you may ask. “I’m doing all the spir­itual things I’m supposed to do. And things still aren’t working. I can’t get anywhere.”

Did you ever try to get a key to unlock a door, and you tried and tried, and the key just wouldn’t open it? The harder you tried, the more frustrated you became. So you stopped trying for a while, relaxed, and tried again. Voila. The key fit perfectly and the slightest turn unlocked the door.

Many of us live our lives that way While some people may not try at all, we may be trying too hard. There’s a gentler way of being in the world, of trying things, doing things, going about our business.

Whether I’m tackling a specific project, enjoying a new relationship, or grinding through some miserable sit­uation, my first inclination is to force myself and try too hard. If one cup of tea tastes good, I’ll drink five. If I want to express love or concern for someone, I’ll overdo it.

“If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well,” doesn’t mean if it’s worth doing, try harder and harder. Doing it well means relaxing and letting the actions unfold—gently, naturally without force. We don’t have to make things happen. We can learn to take our part in letting them happen. It is really okay to ease up a little. We don’t have to think that hard, try that hard, feel that hard, do quite so much. Pull back a little. Relax.

When force and trying harder doesn’t do it, try some­thing else.

Value: “Easy does it” is the value this week.” via May 16.