Hmmm…

Many times these coping mechanisms served an important purpose at one time in an individual’s life. However, these same behaviors that once may have helped a person survive painful situations, now may be self-defeating. For example, a child growing up with a extremely manipulative mother learns not to trust her true intentions. He learns to be cautious and look for the hidden agenda. This helps him avoid disappointment growing up. He knows that when she says, “I love you” she is expecting something in return. His distrust keeps him emotionally safe. No surprises, no disappointments. The problem comes when he is grown and copes the same way in all adult relationships. His wife tells him that he looks nice and he becomes angry. “What does she want from me now,” he stews.

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