Life Is Messy

“Control, or lack thereof, is one of the greatest sources of suffering.”

Maggie Lyon writes:

For someone like me, whom I affectionately call a control freak in recovery, with a chaotic walking-on-eggshells childhood, it is obvious why I became (in my teens) so obsessed with having maniacal control over all aspects of my environment. At age sixteen, the most obvious place to start was with my body.

If you haven’t read or heard by now, I became a major anorexic at this time. This brutally domineering mindset lasted on and off in bouts well into my twenties. I’d be lying to say its creepy little ways didn’t present in more feeble moments (and when I got severely ill) in my early thirties.

Anorexia is, of course, all about control, and it has, in various moments, thoroughly taken over my life by leeching out into arenas far beyond what went into my mouth. There have literally been times when I couldn’t stomach any kind of mess. If something didn’t fit into my intense vision of perfection, it got tossed, and fast.” Get the rest here: Life Is Messy « Positively Positive.

Me?