…on Blessing

Melody Beattie posts…

“I was out with a married couple for dinner, when the husband sneezed.

“God bless you,” I said.

He sneezed again. “Bless you,” I said.

Then he sneezed again and again.

“He sneezes all the time,” his wife said. “I think he does it on purpose. He just wants people to bless him.” “Who doesn’t want that?” I said.

My first experience with the value of blessing people happened in the early years of my sobriety. I wanted a job that someone else was given. I felt envious and resentful. Twelve Step programs and religions teach us a basic formula to cure ill will: pray for those you resent. Pray for God to shower blessings and happiness on those people. Pray for these blessings each time the resentment—or any hint of ill will enters your mind.

So I did. I prayed twenty or more times a day because that is how often I resented this person. I didn’t feel like praying for blessings. I decided to pray because the envy and bitter feelings were consuming me.

Over a period of months, I watched the situation transform. This person became my friend and mentor.

I eventually got a new position that I really wanted. I learned two things. Other people don’t have anything that belongs to me. And praying for blessings on people is a double whammy. They get blessed, and so do we.

Blessings are not just a tool to cure ill will and resent­ment—although that would be plenty. Blessings, like gentle rain or sunshine, are in this world for all. Don’t wait for people to sneeze to bless them. Be an active participant in spreading goodwill.

Value: Blessing our enemies, our loved ones, and ourselves is the value for this week.” via May 1.