Bereavement: How to Support a Friend when Someone They Love Has Died

You can help in a practical manner by offering assistance. If the person who has died was especially close to them and they shared a life together, there may be things they don’t know how to deal with now their loved one is gone. Often husbands and wives, or other family members, assign themselves certain practical tasks which the other never gets to learn how to do. Your friend may not know how to drive, manage their finances or cope with running a household. Lending a hand will ease their burden.

One of the most difficult things friends of bereaved individuals have to face is knowing what to say and how to be emotionally supportive. The temptation may be to avoid saying anything at all, or to attempt to change the subject when any reference to the person who has died comes up.

It isn’t unusual for people to do their best to steer clear of bereaved individuals all together. This isn’t because they don’t care and can’t be bothered to help. It’s because they are terrified of being lost for words or inadvertently causing further distress to the bereaved person by saying the wrong thing.

If a friend of yours is loses someone they love resist the urge to refrain from talking about the subject with them. You may fear mentioning what’s happened in case you make them feel worse. However it’s unlikely you can make their grief deeper than it is by mentioning the obvious. It’s also probable that many other people are avoiding them or going about their lives as though nothing out of the ordinary has occurred and they feel confused and unsupported as a result.