This life is the invitation to create a work of art.
What are you creating each day?
So Lick the plate of NOW clean.
You know what I mean.
You never get this moments gift back. Once gone it’s gone.
I urge you to do it right.
Leave nothing left.
No morsel of regret.
No dream unmet.
No waiting to retire.
Let living this moments bliss take you higher.
We often fear what will be. So we hold onto the peanuts of what we know worked before. Instead of risking for the feast that awaits us in the unknown.
You can go around and around, down the same road over and over, holding on and on. But just know that if you go down the same route. You will end up at the same destination. Again. Quite simple.
When you step outside of your comfort zone at first it might seem scary. But if you breathe, and trust, eventually you will expand your capacity to handle the new. It’s often the mind that convinces you of the dangers ahead. Know that the real danger is when you believe the mind and live inside the prison of it’s limitations. We have all done this at some point.
But if you stretch, soon what seemed so scary will become your new norm. This is growth. Life is a constant expansion and growth. Either you are growing or dying. Are you growing or simply resting on the comfort of coasting yesterdays wave?
Everyone is in awe of the lion tamer in a cage with half a dozen
lions— everyone but a school bus driver.
Unknown
You may not be a great warrior. You might not lead explorations to the North Pole or climb Mount Everest. But you still need courage.
Courage lies in the simple things as well as the grandiose. It’s fun and easy to speculate about how we would respond in our fantasy lives – climbing that mountain or leading knights into battle – but what about now?
Do you have the courage to live your life, to walk your path every day, right where you are?
Sometimes, it takes more courage to do the ordinary things in life than it does to walk to the door of the airplane and jump.
It takes courage to get sober, to stay sober, to get up every day and go to your job, support your family, pay the bills, and walk the path that you have been given to walk. We all need courage to do the thing that scares us and sometimes to do the thing that doesn’t scare us, over and over again.
God, please grant me the courage to do the right thing in my relationships, in my job, and in my spiritual growth. Please give me the courage to live my life.
We can draw a healthy line, a healthy boundary, between ourselves and our nuclear family. We can separate ourselves from their issues. Some of us may have family members who are addicted to alcohol and other drugs and who are not in recovery from their addiction. Some of us may have family members who have unresolved codependency issues. Family members may be addicted to misery, pain, suffering, martyrdom, and victimization. We may have family members who have unresolved abuse issues or unresolved family of origin issues. We may have family members who are addicted to work, eating, or sex. Our family may be completely enmeshed, or we may have a disconnected family in which the members have little contact. We may be like our family. We may love our family. But we are separate human beings with individual rights and issues. One of our primary rights is to begin feeling better and recovering, whether or not others in the family choose to do the same. We do not have to feel guilty about finding happiness and a life that works. And we do not have to take on our family’s issues as our own to be loyal and to show we love them. Often when we begin taking care of ourselves, family members will reverberate with overt and covert attempts to pull us back into the old system and roles. We do not have to go. Their attempts to pull us back are their issues. Taking care of ourselves and becoming healthy and happy does not mean we do not love them. It means we’re addressing our issues. We do not have to judge them because they have issues; nor do we have to allow them to do anything they would like to us just because they are family. We are free now, free to take care of ourselves with family members. Our freedom starts when we stop denying their issues, and politely, but assertively, hand their stuff back to them—where it belongs—and deal with our own issues. Today, I will separate myself from family members. I am a separate human being, even though I belong to a unit called a family. I have a right to my own issues and growth; my family members have a right to their issues and a right to choose where and when they will deal with these issues. I can learn to detach in love from my family members and their issues. I am willing to work through all necessary feelings in order to accomplish this.
Make New Year’s goals. Dig within, and discover what you would like to have happen in your life this year. This helps you do your part. It is an affirmation that you’re interested in fully living life in the year to come. Goals give us direction. They put a powerful force into play on a universal, conscious, and subconscious level. Goals give our life direction. What would you like to have happen in your life this year? What would you like to do, to accomplish? What good would you like to attract into your life? What particular areas of growth would you like to have happen to you? What blocks, or character defects, would you like to have removed? What would you like to attain? Little things and big things? Where would you like to go? What would you like to have happen in friendship and love? What would you like to have happen in your family life? Remember, we aren’t controlling others with our goals—we are trying to give direction to our life. What problems would you like to see solved? What decisions would you like to make? What would you like to happen in your career? What would you like to see happen inside and around you? Write it down. Take a piece of paper, a few hours of your time, and write it all down—as an affirmation of you, your life, and your ability to choose. Then let it go. Certainly, things happen that are out of our control. Sometimes, these events are pleasant surprises; sometimes, they are of another nature. But they are all part of the chapter that will be this year in our life and will lead us forward in the story. The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals. Today, I will remember that there is a powerful force motivated by writing down goals. I will do that now, for the year tocome, and regularly as needed. I will do it not to control but to do my part in living my life. Beattie, Melody (2009-12-15). The Language of Letting Go (Hazelden Meditation Series) (p. 3). Hazelden. Kindle Edition.
“He’s making me crazy I don’t understand. Why would someone say they were going to do one thing, then do something so different from what they say? He looks so good and talks so good. His promises sound so, so real, but then everything falls apart. I end up doing all this work, and he just disappears. I get so dang angry Then about the time I’m ready to blow a gasket, he calls, charms my socks off, and the whole cycle starts over again. I walk away, scratching my head and wondering, ‘What’s wrong with me? Did I just imagine this whole thing? Did I overreact?’ I don’t get it. I don’t understand,”
Maybe it’s time for an Al-Anon meeting.
“And when we’re talking on the phone, I feel like I’m the only one for him. But then when I see him, I know he’s lying to me. I know he’s seeing someone else and standing there looking me right in the eyes and lying about it. When I ask him, he says, ‘Your insecurity is enchanting, and you’re usually such a together person.’ I don’t understand why I feel so insane.”
Maybe it s time for an Al-Anon meeting.
“And then I catch him straight-out lying to me, and I blow up. I just can’t stand that lying stuff especially when
I knew all the time he was lying to me and he denied it. I put up with it and put up with it and then finally I can’t take it anymore. By the time I blow up, he’s standing there looking calm and serene and I’m acting like an insane person.”
Crazy people make us feel crazy. It’s not you. It’s him. How about that meeting?
“And then he calls a few days later, and he says how sorry he is and I can tell he’s sorry Before I know it, I’ve forgotten about everything that happened, and it starts all over again. I keep wondering whether I’m being used, and then I look at him and I just feel so guilty for everything I’m feeling and thinking. Oh yeah. That Al-Anon meeting.”
Step One: Powerless over people, places, and things. My life has become unmanageable. Take a deep breath. Say it again. Then say it one more time. Crazy people make us feel crazy It will happen every time.
Value: Detach in love. Disentangle. Un-embroil yourself from other people’s insanity so you can be restored to sanity. It’s a value many of us learned the hard way.
I truly believe that if it isn’t scheduled, it won’t happen. So – as we step into the first Monday of the year, how can you create a schedule that will work for you – to achieve ALL your top goals? We all have the same amount of time – but it’s how we use it that counts.
“‘My husband is using cocaine,” a woman said. “He won’t listen to me when I tell him to stop. So, how about this?
I’ll pop the movie Blow, about cocaine abuse, into the VCR and just keep playing it over and over until he gets the message.”
“How about this,” I said. “You go to an Al-Anon meeting and get some help for yourself.”
The first time we’re exposed to the value of detaching, it can seem so improbable and unlikely. After a while, we begin to see how well detaching works. When we let go of what we cannot change, the other person begins to experience his or her own consequences. The other person may or may not do what we want them to do, but because we’ve been restored to sanity; a clear path opens for us. The things we do actually begin to help.
The first time we practice detachment is the hardest. Later, it becomes easier.
Challenge: No matter how long we have practiced the value of detachment, recognizing when we need to do it can still be the hardest part. « December 30: Taking care of Yourself” Source: December 31: Practice Detachment | Language of Letting Go
Of all the lifeskills I’ve been working on, detachment has been the hardest for me but I find the most value in learning how to use it.
In the back of my mind, I’m working on a post called ‘Everything I need to know about detachment I learned from Boo’. Boo is my cat and I love her to pieces but I don’t expect her to act like a dog. Sometimes when I’m ready to play with her, she’s not ready to play with me and that’s ok. It’s easy for me to understand healthy detachment when I think about Boo. Not so easy when I think about my wife. But I’m learning…
But here is the joy, here is the peace of Christians, that our salvation is a finished one! We have not a farthing to pay to complete the ransom of our souls. We have not a stitch to set to finish the robe of our salvation. We have not an act to perform, a prayer to offer, a tear to weep, a thought to think in order to finish the work of our redemption! I know that all these things shall be worked in us and, that by the Spirit of God we shall be made to do them — but all that shall not be with any view to the completion of our salvation — that was finished in the Person of the bleeding Lamb of Calvary! . . .
Either Christ completed all that was necessary for your salvation, or he did not! If he did finish it, then rest in him and be glad, and say, “I am secure forever because my salvation is finished. I have nothing to do but to live to the honor of him who has completely saved me by his Grace, his blood, his righteousness.
Philippians 3:12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Mastin Kipp of The Daily Love shares this thought on letting go of 2011…
I love this time of year. This post-Holiday, pre-New Year time. It’s a quiet time, a reflective time when the hustle of the Holidays is winding down and the dawn of a New Year is imminent.
Now, it’s true that we can make a change at any time; it doesn’t take a New Year to have to change – but with a New Year at hand, our minds naturally reflect on where we were a year ago and where we want to be a year from now! And then we think about the things we want to do to change our life circumstance – we call these resolutions. We can resolve to change at any time, but I love this time of year because there is a momentum, a wave, a global event that we can use and harness it’s power.
Tomorrow I will write about how to change and what to do if you want to change, but I want to leave that for tomorrow. Today, on the last day of the year, I just want to encourage us all to look back at the year and reflect on it, learn from it, and let it go.
What did you learn this year? What mistakes did you make? What stories did you create about what’s possible for you? What stories did you create about what’s impossible for you? This time last year, were there changes that you wanted to make, but didn’t? Why not? Did you love yourself just a little bit more this year than you did last year? What’s one habit that you DON’T want to bring into 2012? Can today be the LAST DAY of that habit? When would now be a good time to let it go?
We are all moving ahead into 2012 – it’s close enough. But for this moment, let us think back about the year, let us reflect, take a moment to pause and really give 2011 a conscious goodbye – and with it – the habits, stories and beliefs that should stay with it. The first step to creating something new is letting go of what no longer serves you. What no longer serves you?
This is what I mean when I Tweet that “Letting go is the best way to hold on”. We try to control, we agonize over feeling powerless – but all that stress, anxiety and worry leaves us when we remember that we are truly guided by The Uni-verse. When you let go of what pains you, of what no longer serves you, you step into and tap into an energy that we do not still understand – and probably won’t ever truly fully comprehend. But this Energy, this Force, this Creative Uni-verse is guiding us ever so compassionately, ever so diligently, ever so mindfully to a greater and greater outcome. When we let go of the negatives, we leave room for even more awesomeness to enter.
When we see that EVERYTHING is happening FOR US and never TO US, we see the tremendous amount of Grace that our lives are filled with and we can nestle into that knowing that – indeed, every-little-thing-is-gunna-be-alright – and even better than that, everything is PERFECT as it is! So for today, leave the goal setting aside, leave the achieving at the door and just reflect – reflect on this year that is gone.
What can you let go of? What would feel SO GREAT to be free of? What are you most terrified to admit? Then – step into it and let it go!
One of my lovely clients, Jackie Dumaine, shares this on her blog today…
I always become quite reflective at this time of year – and this year is no exception.
As the final hours of 2011 creep around the corner, I’m choosing to take a different approach to the yearly tradition of writing down my goals and resolutions.
I won’t be scribbling the usual “This year, I will do this/that” into a pretty paisley notebook with a fine tipped pen.
This year, my focus won’t be on how I can change this or how I won’t eat that. It won’t be on staying more organized or achieving new goals. It won’t be on saving money (although it should be), or meditating more often (another good one).
This year, my focus will be on letting go.
We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us. ~ Joseph Campbell
What will I be letting go of? A lot. I’m talking mountains of “stuff”.
Emotional stuff, physical stuff, tangible stuff and all that stuff that isn’t real but hops on our back and weighs us down (like the stories we make up about how scary life will be if we let go of all this stuff!)
By letting go, we are able to attain a delicious freedom that can propel us into a world of adventure and magic.
By letting go, we discover the wonder and clarity that come with living a simplified life.
By letting go, we create space for shiny new opportunities that make our hearts hum.
By letting go, we are telling the Universe: I AM NOT AFRAID….
And her response? “Okay sweet brave one, it’s about time. Are you ready to start your life now?”
I am. How about you?
What are you willing to let go of in 2012?
Can you have the courage to know that letting go makes you stronger than holding on?
Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, life becomes worth living. And we become grateful. —Beyond Codependency Wait, and expect good things—for yourself and your loved ones. When you wonder what is coming, tell yourself the best is coming, the very best life and love have to offer, the best God and His universe have to send. Then open your hands to receive it. Claim it, and it is yours. See the best in your mind; envision what it will look like, what it will feel like. Focus, until you can see it clearly. Let your whole being, body and soul, enter into and hold onto the image for a moment. Then, let it go. Come back into today, the present moment. Do not obsess. Do not become fearful. Become excited. Live today fully, expressing gratitude for all you have been, all you are, and all you will become. Wait, and expect good things. Today, when I think about the year ahead, I will focus on the good that is coming.
I just stumbled upon Gretche Rubin’s ‘Happiness Project’ the other day. She has some good thoughts on forming resolutions…
Forty-four percent of Americans make New Year’s resolutions, and I know I always do. I’m more inclined to make resolutions than ever, in fact, because if my happiness project has convinced me of anything, it has convinced me that resolutions—made right—can make a huge difference in boosting happiness.
So how do you resolve well? This is trickier than it sounds. Here are some tips for making your resolutions as effective as possible.
Anger, fear, sadness, betrayal a lot of emotions can run through us when we stop trying to change the other person and start focusing on taking care of ourselves. The good news is that we’re finally feeling our own feelings instead of trying to figure out what the other person feels.
Maybe all those feelings we’ve been avoiding aren’t the opposite of love. Those feelings could be an important step on the path to love.
Inventory Focus: Is there a relationship in your life right now that is bugging you? Are you willing to explore detachment as a means to improving the relationship and regaining your peace?
Back in 1723 Jonathan Edwards chartered a list of resolutions for his life. 70 of them. And he read them once a week.
Matt Perman writes:
[Edwards] shows us that a well lived life doesn’t just happen; it requires intentionality. And intentionality manifests itself in certain “mechanisms” that help us maintain our intentionality. Edwards’ resolutions are one example of such a “mechanism.”
So Edwards is a good example not just of a life that is lived well, but also of the “practical side” of how to actually build that intentionality into our lives, rather than just letting it remain a vague wish that never takes deep root and makes a real difference.
Refusing to be vague, Matt has organizedJonathan Edwards’s resolutions into seven specific categories. This approach is a fresh way to help us apply their wisdom where we live. The categories include:
Overall Life Mission
Good Works
Time Management
Relationships
Suffering
Character
Spiritual Life
The New Year is upon us. Read through Edwards’s resolutions. Print them out. Consider adopting them as your own for a Christ-exalting, God-entranced vision of all things.
We are heading straight into the New Year! 2012 is almost here. If you’re like me and a lot of folks, this time of year can bring up all different types of emotions. The space away from work and the normal routine may put you in touch with emotions you may not feel the rest of the year.
So, if those emotions are there – it’s up to YOU to choose what to do with them. You see, emotions are like fuel. They push us to act – or not act. Many times the emotions we feel influence us to do things, either consciously or unconsciously. Today is a great day to get in touch with the emotions you are feeling. Take a second, breathe, stop what you are doing, try to stop thinking and just feel. Notice what emotions you are feeling. What are you feeling right below the surface? Anxiety? Worry? Joy? Happiness? Fear? Worry? Doubt? Elation? Positive Expectation? Negative Expectation? Whatever it is, notice it.
Now, take a moment and write down what you are feeling. Then ask yourself, why am I feeling this way? If an answer doesn’t come right away, that’s ok. Just sit with the question for a moment.
Now comes the critical choice that up until now you may not have been making consciously. I know that until I discovered I could use the fuel of emotion for good or for bad, I wasn’t consciously deciding to use it for good.
This post by John Gruber of Daring Fireball is so good for where I’m at right now it took my breath away…
Late last night, inspecting Santa’s handiwork, a simple thought occurred to me. A decade or so from now, when, say, I’m waiting for my son to come home from college for his winter break, and, when he does, he wants to spend his time going out with his friends — how much will I be willing to pay then to be able to go back in time, for one day, to now, when he’s eight years old, he wants to go to movies and play games and build Lego kits with me, and he believes in magic?
How much then, for one day with what my family has right now? How much? Everything.
The truth is, I’m the luckiest person in the world today. I hope you are too.
As the father of 6 boys that range in age from 24-7 this made me pause and think about both ends of the spectrum having experienced them both now. How about you?
As we step into the New Year, let’s step into it with a clean slate. That is to say, the stories we’ve been telling ourselves about why we can’t have what we truly want – let’s kick those to the curb.
Let’s take a moment, pause, think and feel our way towards our greatest good and the greatest good for all. What if it were true that your biggest fear was actually total BS? What if it were true that the things that you think are your greatest weaknesses are actually what makes you strong? What if it were true that from this moment forward life would never have to be the same again?
What if it were as simple as simply changing your mind about what you want and what you know you deserve? What if we made it our intention to Love ourselves as much as we Love the thing we Love most in life? And then, what if we went about sharing that Love with others and found that where we thought we would die, be destroyed or that life would come to an end – we actually came to life?
My friend, I’m here to remind you – what was, is GONE and what will be is up to YOU! We get the privilege to decide our way in and out of circumstances! No dark night of the soul lasts forever; but what can last forever is if you get stuck in the story of being in the dark night.
So let us take a moment and think about what would bring us so much joy to create in 2012. Not just for ourselves, but also for others. How can we add value and Love to other people’s lives? What are our gifts? Are we expressing them? Or are we letting them lay dormant? Are we truly walking our Faith and our beliefs or are we letting fear get the best of us? Let’s look over who is in our lives and why? Is there anyone in our life who is there with a hook? Are all of our relationships clean? Are we entering into each relationship with integrity, truth and with the intention to serve? Or are we emotional vampires? Or do we have emotional vampires in our lives that we are allowing to drain our energy?
This is the time to make that change. Sure, we can make the change at any time, but with the symbolic power of the New Year and the collective focus on being brand new, the power of this time of year is huge.
So what changes would you like to make in 2012? And – is there anyone in your life you would like to let go of? And is there anyone in your life that you would like to spend more time with? Are you making the best of life or are you letting fear get the best of you? And what new decision would you like to make now?
One of my lovely clients, Jackie Dumaine, shares this on her blog today…
Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, life becomes worth living. And we become grateful. —Beyond Codependency Wait, and expect good things—for yourself and your loved ones. When you wonder what is coming, tell yourself the best is coming, the very best life and love have to offer, the best God and His universe have to send. Then open your hands to receive it. Claim it, and it is yours. See the best in your mind; envision what it will look like, what it will feel like. Focus, until you can see it clearly. Let your whole being, body and soul, enter into and hold onto the image for a moment. Then, let it go. Come back into today, the present moment. Do not obsess. Do not become fearful. Become excited. Live today fully, expressing gratitude for all you have been, all you are, and all you will become. Wait, and expect good things. Today, when I think about the year ahead, I will focus on the good that is coming.
Bright, shiny objects! 
You must be logged in to post a comment.