Tag: Wisdom

Get Up. Get Out. Don’t Sit.

Thanks to David Kanigan for finding and sharing this:

“…New research this month finds that the more time someone spends sitting, the shorter and less robust his or her life may be. The findings were sobering: Every single hour of television watched after the age of 25 reduces the viewer’s life expectancy by 21.8 minutes. By comparison, smoking a single cigarette reduces life expectancy by about 11 minutes. Looking more broadly, they concluded that an adult who spends an average of six hours a day watching TV over the course of a lifetime can expect to live 4.8 years fewer than a person who does not watch TV.  Those results hold true even for people who exercise regularly. It appears a person who does a lot of exercise but watches six hours of TV every night might have a similar mortality risk as someone who does not exercise and watches no TV…”The researchers found that those people with the “highest sedentary behavior,” meaning those who sat the most, had a 112 percent increase in their relative risk of developing diabetes; a 147 percent increase in their risk for cardiovascular disease; and a 49 percent greater risk of dying prematurely — even if they regularly exercised.

“We might convince ourselves that we are not at risk of disease because we manage the recommended 30 minutes of exercise a day.” But, she says, we “are still at risk if we sit all day…If you exercise for 30 minutes a day, she says, “take time to reflect on your activity levels for the remaining 23.5 hours,” and aim to “be active, sit less.” via Get Up. Get Out. Don’t Sit. – Lead.Learn.Live..

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You Are Awesome

You are awesome. End of story. Period. Print it, post it, feel it.

You were born awesome, and you will leave awesome. There may be lessons, bumps, and arrests along the way, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are a totally delicious hug magnet.

If folks aren’t hugging you right now, they just don’t know what they’re missing.” Full story at:  You Are Awesome « Positively Positive.

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The Hero’s Journey to Your Own Heart

Dr. Ingrid Mathieu writes:

As a psychologist, I am privileged to witness people engaging with questions of whom they are and want to be, where they are and want to go. I often think of my work as being an invited guest on an excavation into the depths of someone’s being. It is too dark to take the journey alone, but when we both put our headlamps on and take one step at a time into the darkness, we can see what lies ahead. We can remove the obstacles that stand in our way and plunge even deeper toward the treasure that we seek.

The obstacles people find can often be a cause for confusion. This is because every time we put the headlamp on to go exploring, we are afraid of what we are going to find. When we stumble upon the unexpected, we automatically write a story about what it means. We determine that we are “crazy” or on the wrong track and that we shouldn’t keep moving forward. We see the obstacle and say, “there is the evidence that I will never get what I want, so why did I even bother?”

We often look at our lives as proof of how we are doing it wrong instead of how we are doing it right.” Full story at:  The Hero’s Journey to Your Own Heart « Positively Positive.

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How to Drop the Extra (Mental) Weight and Set Yourself Free

“Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

Full story at:  How to Drop the Extra (Mental) Weight and Set Yourself Free | Tiny Buddha.

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The grief process

Melody Beattie writes:

To let ourselves wholly grieve our losses is how we surrender to the process of life and recovery. Some experts, like Patrick Carnes, call the Twelve Steps “a program for dealing with our losses, a program for dealing with our grief.”

How do we grieve?

Awkwardly. Imperfectly. Usually with a great deal of resistance. Often with anger and attempts to negotiate. Ultimately, by surrendering to the pain.

The grief process, says Elisabeth Kubler Ross, is a five stage process: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and, finally, acceptance. That’s how we grieve; that’s how we accept; that’s how we forgive; that’s how we respond to the many changes life throws our way.

Although this five-step process looks tidy on paper, it is not tidy in life. We do not move through it in a compartmentalized manner. We usually flounder through, kicking and screaming, with much back and forth movement – until we reach that peaceful state called acceptance.

When we talk about “unfinished business” from our past, we are usually referring to losses about which we have not completed grieving. We’re talking about being stuck somewhere in the grief process. Usually, for adult children and codependents, the place where we become stuck is denial.. Passing through denial is the first and most dangerous stage of grieving, but it is also the first step toward acceptance.

We can learn to understand the grief process and how it applies to recovery. Even good changes in recovery can bring loss and, consequently, grief. We can learn to help others and ourselves by understanding and becoming familiar with this process. We can learn to fully grieve our losses, feel our pain, accept, and forgive, so we can feel joy and love.

Today, God, help me open myself to the process of grieving my losses. Help me allow myself to flow through the grief process, accepting all the stages so I might achieve peace and acceptance in my life. Help me learn to be gentle with others and myself while we go through this very human process of healing.” via Just For Today Meditations – Maintaining A Life.

Whatever your losses, they will hang in there until you work the grieving process. Long ago a priest friend of mine told me that all loss is a death of sorts so applying Ross’ stages is appropriate for just about anything…

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Imagine There Is A Bank

Live Life Quotes, Love Life Quotes, Live Life Happy

via Imagine There Is A Bank.

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How to Ask Your Partner for a Change

One of my favorite bloggers, Michele Lisenbury Christensen, has a beautiful post on ‘requesting change’:

I’m a requester.

I have made more – and more daring – requests of my husband in the 15 years we’ve been together than some partners make in a lifetime. In the process, I’ve learned a lot about making requests that engender change.

Often, my learning has come from making ridiculous requests that would be difficult for anyone to hear, let alone act upon.

Ooops.

But my dogged determination to keep my life and our relationship evolving has sent me back to the drawing board time and again to reconfigure how I was thinking about the change I wanted and how I talked to him about it.

What’ve I learned the hard way that maybe – prayers flying heavenward as we speak! – you could learn by my baaad example.” Full story at: via How to Ask Your Partner for a Change : The Calm Space.

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10 tips for how not to be a jerk in your next fight

notsalmon

Full story at: 10 tips for how not to be a jerk in your next fight.

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Stop Beating Yourself Up. Here’s How.

Rebecca Seed writes:

I am mad at myself. Again. This didn’t go as planned. I lied to myself. I didn’t live my truth. I blew it.

Sound familiar? The self-deprecating tapes that run through your head every time you do what you said you’d never do again? Maybe it’s texting that ex-boyfriend. Caving by sticking your last dollar in the vending machine. Staying out too late with friends when you swore up and down you’d be in yoga class at 7am the next day.

It happens. It’s life. We do our best to practice self-love, so why is it so easy to be hard on ourselves?

For me, as I am about to hit the half way point of my first 200-hour yoga teacher training, I realize I’ve allowed (some of) the bad habits in my life to continue during these intense months. And instead of cutting myself slack for all the amazing hard work I am doing – instead of looking at all I’ve accomplished in five weeks – I’m angry with myself.

I didn’t practice enough. I didn’t ask the barista at Starbucks if the smoothie had milk in it, even though I am newly vegan. And, I poured myself a glass of much-needed wine after a stressful workday. I let the dominoes tumble onto myself.

And when it’s time to gear up for teacher training at the end of the week, I’m mad at myself. Even though I’ve done all my reading and homework. And even though I made it to practice—not every single day, but enough.

Isn’t it time for a little self-forgiveness on my part?  Here’s what I hope to do –and you should, too.” Full story at: Stop Beating Yourself Up. Here’s How..

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Meditation and Prayer

Melody Beattie has a good post for a Sabbath, however you celebrate one:

The Eleventh Step asks us to meditate as a route to improving our conscious contact with God.

Meditation is different than obsessing or worrying. Obsession and worrying are fear connections. Meditation means opening our mind and our spiritual energy to the God connection.

To connect with God, we need to relax as best we can and open our conscious and subconscious mind to a Higher Consciousness – one that is available to each of us.

In the busyness of our day and life, it may seem like a waste of time to slow down, to stop what we’re doing, and take this kind of break. It is no more a waste of time than stopping to put gas in our car when the tank is almost empty. It is necessary, it is beneficial, and it saves time. In fact, meditation can create more time and energy than the moments we take to do it.

Meditation and prayer are powerful recovery behaviors that work. We need to be patient. It is not reasonable to expect immediate answers, insight, or inspiration.

But solutions are coming. They are already on the way, if we have done our part – meditate and pray – and then let the rest go.

Whether we pray and meditate first thing in the morning, during a coffee break, or in the evening is our choice.

When our conscious contact with God improves, our subconscious contact will too. We will find ourselves increasingly tuned in to God’s harmony and will for us. We will find and maintain that soul connection, the God connection.

Today, I will take a moment for meditation and prayer. I will decide when and how long to do it. I am a child and creation of God – a Higher Power who loves to listen and talk to me. God, help me let go of my fears about whether or not You hear and care. Help me know that You are there and that I am able to tap into the spiritual consciousness.” via Just For Today Meditations » Daily Recovery Readings – October 28, 2012.

Don’t get hung up on the word ‘God’ — think instead of your higher power. Me? I think the first group meeting in heaven or paradise or whatever you believe will be our Higher Power asking us this: “Dudes! This religion thing. What were yooooo thinking?” My Higher Power sounds a lot like Dr. Phil sometimes…

:-D

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12 Tips to Reset Your Sunday

All work and no play is not a healthy way to live. Even if it’s just an hour without your BlackBerry or iPhone, wouldn’t it be nice to not have to worry about what all is going on in THE world, let alone YOURS for just a little while? To take a break from the bill pay reminders, Facebook comments, emails and updates, and just be …. present? Maybe in this hour you begin with a nap, or meditation, playing with your children, or going outside for a walk. Maybe even tackling that project you’ve been putting off. But being present in the moment is sometimes the most valuable asset you have and can give. The best part of it is you just may find out where you really are without having to check in.” Full story at: 12 Tips to Reset Your Sunday.

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How to Lead a More Balanced Life

Found this on Michael Hyatt’s blog:

When I’m riding, I have a habit of looking over my shoulder to see if anyone else is coming and also to take a second look at something I just passed. At one point yesterday, traveling twenty mph, I executed my habitual over-the-shoulder look to re-see a beautiful lilac bush.

Turning my gaze forward, I realized I was off balance, heading from the paved path and into the forest where certain death awaited! (Cue dramatic music). A quick correction and I was back on track and not in the hospital.” Full story at: How to Lead a More Balanced Life | Michael Hyatt.

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“Seize every other day” or “seize once a month” won’t get you as far as “seize the day”

Karen Salmansohn @ notsalmon.com share this:

I believe whoever has the most energy wins.  You need energy to win at your relationship, win in your career, win as a parent, win at being your highest potential self.

If you feel exhausted, depleted, worn out, frazzled…it won’t even matter how brilliant, talented, kind, funny, loving or loveable you are! After all, you’ll be too tired to be these things.

You need to have energy to be at your sparkling best.” Full story at: “Seize every other day” or “seize once a month” won’t get you as far as “seize the day”.

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“I’m always angry”

Is there a time when it’s cool to be ‘always angry’? Sure. In ‘The Avengers’ movie. Dr. David Banner says his ‘secret’ is that “I’m always angry”.

It’s not cool when you’re not fighting aliens and it’s REALLY not cool when your wife and children are affected. I’m a little like Bruce Banner in that I have to constantly monitor what’s happening inside of me and carefully consider my responses so that I don’t turn into ‘the other guy’…

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Owning What A Jerk I Can Be = Liberation!

Chela Davison writes:

I totally thought I was being hilarious. Turns out I was being an asshole. It’s a very strange experience when you realize that the You that’s in your head is not the same You that’s being experienced by others.

While it’s not a major theme in my life, I have, on occasion, received feedback from those who are close to me that I can be flippant and insensitive, that my humor can be cutting and people end up hurt. This hasn’t happened in a long time, but then suddenly it was EVERYWHERE. I wrote more apology emails two weeks ago than I have in the past several years.

I’m identified as being great with people. Because mostly I am. I pay attention, I listen, I care, I’m sensitive to the subtle cues of others and can feel what’s happening for people quite deeply.

But that’s when our own shadow can sneak up and take a chomp out of our asses isn’t it!? When we start to see ourselves in a particular way, good or bad, and become fixated on that image of ourselves, we stop being able to clearly see the parts of ourselves that aren’t that.” Full story at: Owning What A Jerk I Can Be = Liberation!.

Looking at her picture, it doesn’t seem like Chela could ever be a jerk, but I can relate. I call myself a ‘recovering assaholic’ — I can go from zero to Incredible Hulk in 60 seconds. Like Bruce Banner, I have to keep my anger in check all the time while I work on the root cause. Posts like this give me insight and hope…

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Dreams

Melody Beattie writes:

“I want a new home. a great job. and lots of money” one man said.

“What practical steps are you taking to help that happen?” I asked.

“I’m not very good at practical steps,” he said. “But I’m an expert at dreams.”

It’s important to fantasize. but if you want your fantasies to materialize. you have to take practical steps. Turn dreams into achievable written goals.

It takes courage to go for what we want. Giving some­thing our all. then failing, is a risk. Anyone I know who has accomplished anything of value has failed on the road to success.

Challenge: The hardest thing about going for our goals, hopes, and dreams can be fighting off that part of us that says, “What’s the use?” Ordinary people can accomplish extraordinary things when they make a choice to do something, then surrender to God’s Will.” via October 25.

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The Sellout

When you make the amazingly courageous decision to improve yourself, to say yes to bigger and better things for your life, you WILL encounter haters. They may even be people you consider friends.

Consider it a sign that you’re on the right track.

Keep going.” via The Sellout | Escape Adulthood with Kim & Jason.

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Using Self-Fulfilling Prophecies to Your Advantage

Why “fake it ’til you make it” is good advice!

Full story at: Using Self-Fulfilling Prophecies to Your Advantage | Psychology Today.

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Do You ‘Numb’ Yourself with TV, Internet, Work, Food?

Full story at:  Do You ‘Numb’ Yourself with TV, Internet, Work, Food? « Positively Positive.

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Never say you’re ‘just’ an anything…

It always bothers me when I hear someone say I’m just a ______. To me it’s a sign of discontent and resignation. Melody Beattie writes:

“I‘m just a hairstylist.” the woman said to me almost apologetically. “I want to do something big, something important in the world.”

“Do you have any idea how important it is to people to get a good haircut?” I asked.

Maybe we don’t have to do anything different to he of service. We just need to bring an attitude of service to what we already do.

Action: Do one thing each day that serves someone else. with no thought of receiving anything in return. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. Call someone; give them encouragement. Or just listen, instead of talking, during a conversation. Wait on someone—bring them a cup of coffee or a glass of water. Take a minute during prayer time and say a prayer for someone else. If you’re in recovery, volunteer to do a practical task, like cleaning up after the meeting. If we can’t change the world, at least we can do our part to keep it going.” via October 20.

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I Know What You Want

Kim Anami writes:

You want love.

I want love too.

Underneath everything we do is the desire to be loved.

And to love.

Ideally, it permeates all of your words and actions, this sprinkling of love.

Whether you are asking your lover to pick her clothes up off the floor (although in a passion-strewn frenzy, such things can be forgiven. Ah, the power of great sex.);

Or your child has ignored your request to go to bed;

Or the barrista makes your ceremonial, non-milk matcha with milk again (ahem);

How many ways can you stay in love?

Love is an overarching feeling. It can film the room and the universe with its enormity.

It is also a conscious choice, moment-to-moment, to be loving.

In the end, your withholding love from others when they “f**k up” and “don’t do things the right way” diminishes you.

The more you radiate love, you constantly lift your vibration. You attract more love. It becomes so that an unloving word now sounds cacophonous coming out of your mouth.

Sometimes, a couple (or parent and child) have gone so long being defended against each other, that the idea of being loving is unimaginable. They’ve forgotten. It’s been that long.

You can change it in an instant.

If you decide to.

Every moment holds within it a new blueprint for the future. You can choose.

Then you have to remain committed to the choice. And committed to love.” Full post at: I Know What You Want | | Kim Anami.

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