Category: Wisdom

How to Create A Breakthrough in Any Area of Your Life: Manage Your Strategies, Your Story and Your State

Tony Robbins writes here about STRATEGIES, STORY AND STATE and how they work together:

Question: One of the toughest things about chasing the dream is managing the disciplines of persistent action and hopeful patience that are required to ultimately see the vision come to be. This is an area of huge tension. How do dream chasers manage that tension and thrive?

Fulfilling your dreams and your ability to thrive in the areas of your life that matter most can be simplified by breakthroughs—a moment in time when the impossible becomes possible. If anyone wants to thrive in any area of their life, they have to reach a point of breakthrough where they will not settle for anything less than extraordinary in that area. Whether someone wants a breakthrough in their:

  • business
  • intimate life
  • emotional well-being
  • health
  • finances
  • career

There are only three areas to break through in order to feel lasting success.

One breakthrough area is your STRATEGIES. I personally live for finding strategies—those shortcuts that help people get more done in less time. What is it that gets some people to succeed while others fail who seem to have equal enthusiasm or passion for the tasks at hand? They have insights, distinctions, and strategies that allow them to achieve more quickly. For example, take someone who was born very poor, without an education, and had emotional and financial challenges but found a way to be highly successful and living an inspired life. I don’t believe that’s lucky—luck is what you do for a day or a week—strategies are what make it consistently happen for decades. A strategy can be found in the simplest or slightest distinction and it can happen in an instant.

As I described above, there are three elements that effect the long-term success or failure of a person and whether they break through or not. For example, there are hundreds or even thousands of strategies out there for losing weight, and frankly most of them are proven to work—if you work them! We’re not hurting for strategies. There are fitness clubs on every street, dieticians, health coaches, training videos, audios, books, etc. Yet 65% of the United States is overweight and 33% is obese, and those numbers are only growing geometrically. I would suggest to you that the problem for most people is not that they don’t have a strategy—it’s that they’re not using a strategy that works for them or acting upon it. Why? Because they have a disempowering STORY.

We all have stories—narratives we tell ourselves about why we can or cannot do or achieve something in our lives. Whether we believe we can or can’t, we’re usually right, because our expectation controls our focus, perceptions, and the way in which we feel and act. When a person succeeds it’s because they have the right strategy, and they found it usually because they have a story that it was possible or they could make it happen. Often people are not losing weight because they have a simple story that says, “I’m big boned.” With that as your core belief system you are never going to find a strategy, and even if you do you won’t follow through on it.

Your story may be true—you may have been through a horrific experience–but that’s not the reason why you can’t have the life you want. For example, you might have had a bad breakup five years ago, but that’s not the reason you haven’t found the passionate and loving relationship you deserve. A disempowering story is one of the things that controls people and makes them stuck in their beliefs.

Most people tell a story in a selective way so they don’t have to ever maximize their effort towards a strategy because they’re afraid they will fail. In order to get out of a story you have to be triggered by hunger and desire—if someone wants something strong enough they will breakthrough the story that’s limiting them.

Of course, whether you have an empowering story or disempowering one is influenced most powerfully by the mental and emotional STATE you’re in at this moment in time. As human beings we all develop emotional patterns—moods—that are mental or emotional states that tend to filter how we look at our lives.

This influences the stories that we make up about who we are, what we’re capable of, or what’s achievable or not. The states we go into most often then become the most powerful filter of all that will determine whether we find the strategies necessary to succeed and whether we come up with a story that will empower us. The big question then becomes, what is it that we can do to change our state of mind when we’re not able to maximize our true potential? One of our greatest scientific discoveries has been that you can change your emotional mood by a radical change in your “physiology.”

For people who are experiencing stress at any given moment, a form of relief can be to simply change your physiology—take a couple of deep breaths. Most people only use 20% of their lung capacity taking small short breaths, but 70% of the body’s toxins can actually be released when taking a full breath! By taking the time to fill your lungs and release you can not only improve your health but also radically decrease the anxiety related to that moment. There are many ways to change your physiology and in our seminars we prove this time after time by taking people who feel depressed and having them make a radical shift. Intuitively we know this can be changed not only by the way we move, but our breath and body temperature as well.

The second thing that affects our state is what we focus on. For example, if you’ve been at a funeral honoring someone you cared about and everyone is in a sad state and afterwards someone shares a story or anecdote about something that person did that was extremely humorous, suddenly everyone goes from tears to laughter. In an instant our states can be changed by what we focus on. What’s wrong is always available—but so is what’s right. Whatever we focus on effects our state and our state then effects the story we have about who we are, what’s life about, what’s possible and what’s not. From that story we will often determine whether or not we will maximize our capabilities and the strategies that will help us achieve what we’re truly after in a sustainable way.

Learning to put yourself in a peak state consistently is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself and your life. It can transform your stories and give you the strategies to breakthrough. This is a huge focus that we just don’t tell people but what we train people to do with their minds and bodies in an instant, on cue, so they can shift the quality of their performance. Whether it’s a peak performance athlete like Serena Williams, MMA champion Jon Jones, a president of a company, a parent, or someone in prison—if we’re going to shift our life it comes down to these three fundamentals.

Change your strategy, change your result.

Change your story, change your life.

Change your state—you change it all!

Source: How to Create A Breakthrough in Any Area of Your Life: Manage Your Strategies, Your Story and Your State

2

Boundaries

Melody-Beattie-8x6.jpgMelody Beattie writes:

Boundaries aren’t limited to saying no. Boundaries reflect what we believe we deserve. Some people were born into situations that encouraged listening to and trusting themselves. Others had their right to self-respect violated at an early age. If our ability to trust ourselves was tam­pered with when we were young. we may have to work extra hard to acquire and keep boundaries—and self­esteem—in place.

“Someone who barely knew me mentioned to a friend that he thought I was selfish,” a woman said. “For the next six months, I had the worst time setting limits. I kept trying to prove how unselfish I was.”

No matter how many boundaries we’ve set, it’s not unusual to still feel guilty each time we say no. We may be afraid that we’ll lose the other person. or that he or she will go away if we say no. But when we don’t honor ourselves by setting boundaries, we’re the ones who disappear.

Challenge: The hardest thing about boundaries can be recognizing that we’ve lost or misplaced ourselves again. Maybe we could look at setting boundaries as an on­going process of discovering who we are.

via December 15.

In her meditation for February 20, she writes:

We are powerless over other people’s expectations of us. We cannot control what others want, what they expect, or what they want us to do and be. We can control how we respond to other people’s expectations. During the course of any day, people may make demands on our time, talents, energy, money, and emotions. We do not have to say yes to every request. We do not have to feel guilty if we say no. And we do not have to allow the barrage of demands to control the course of our life. We do not have to spend our life reacting to others and to the course they would prefer we took with our life. We can set boundaries, firm limits on how far we shall go with others. We can trust and listen to ourselves. We can set goals and direction for our life. We can place value on ourselves. We can own our power with people. Buy some time. Think about what you want. Consider how responding to another’s needs will affect the course of your life. We live or own life by not letting other people, their expectations, and their demands control the course of our life. We can let them have their demands and expectations; we can allow them to have their feelings. We can own our power to choose the path that is right for us. Today, God, help me own my power by detaching, and peacefully choosing the course of action that is right for me. Help me know I can detach from the expectations and wants of others. Help me stop pleasing other people and start pleasing myself.

Beattie, Melody (2009-12-15). The Language of Letting Go (Hazelden Meditation Series) (p. 49). BookMobile. Kindle Edition.

2

6 Ways to Transform Conflict

Michael Hyatt’s Blog

Full story at:  6 Ways to Transform Conflict.

1

Why bother leaving the house?

1

How to Get What You Want in Relationships

shelley-bullardI just discovered Shelly Bullard this morning [I wonder how she feels about being ‘discovered’. :-D]. Here she writes:

There is something you can do to guarantee getting what you want in your relationships. And it’s probably not what you think. In fact, its probably the opposite of what you think. No, it’s not by getting him to commit or by getting a guarantee from her. You’ve tried all those things–they don’t work. Trying to GET someone to GIVE something to you is always a dead-end street. But there is something else you can do–it’s something that you probably haven’t thought of. This something is called GIVING.

Yes, turns out the old saying is true, “You get what you give.” Problem is, most of us think we are giving; in fact, we think we are giving and giving and giving–too much! If you give and give and give (more than you feel comfortable with) then, I hate to break it to you, but you aren’t really giving. Over-giving is a sure sign of  GIVING TO GET. And the truth is, it’s not going to GET you anything (except resentful). No this isn’t giving at all–it’s called sacrifice.

When you are not in contact with your own fullness then you will try to get from your partner the exact thing that you are not 1) giving to yourself or 2) giving to them. It is very hard to give–to genuinely give, without the motive of getting in return–if you are running on less-than-full yourself. This less-than-full is actually is the feeling that causes you to try and GET from someone else in the first place. You think they are the key. You think they have what you’re seeking. So, ironically, what you usually do to try to GET from them is you… sacrifice yourself more? Can you see the irony in that?! Stop over-giving! It doesn’t work!

You see, the only way to GET what you want is to stop trying to GET it–you have to start GIVING it, like, for free. And how are you supposed to so that? You give it to yourself first, of course.

Anything that you feel like you need from your partner–anything you feel like you are not getting from him or her–is a sure sign of something that you are not giving to yourself. You don’t feel like you have it, which is what makes you seek it from them in the first place! I’ll show you.

Let’s say you are you seeking security from him. You want him to commit, you want a guarantee! Then sweetie, if it’s security you are looking for, it’s time to boost up your inner-security chops! Lack in the department of inner-security is what leads you to try and GET security from him in the first place! And, unfortunately, there is nothing he can actually do to make you feel–once and for all–secure. Only you can do that for yourself. The good news is, you can. Easy. Start contacting your own fullness. Start contacting your own solidity and abundance and strength. And once you do–Voilà!–your relationship begins to feel more secure. Let’s do another one…

Let’s say you are looking to get more freedom in your relationship. Well, if it’s freedom you are seeking then this means you are not giving enough freedom to yourself–you have start there. Many people don’t feel free in a relationship because they do things like censoring themselves, hiding the truth, not saying what they really feel–all of these modes of “hiding” are going to make you feel trapped. Often what happens when you’re stuck in a mode of censoring yourself for so long is you start to project that freedom is “out there.” Reality check: there is no freedom anywhere unless you give it to yourself. This means you have to start being REAL. Give yourself the freedom to say what you are thinking, be who you really are, and then, then, you will feel free.

You see, we project exactly what is not happening within us onto our partners–and then try to make them give it to us! Here is the truth that I want you to remember: YOU PARTNER CANNOT GIVE TO YOU WHAT YOU DO NOT GIVE TO YOURSELF. Period. So whatever you are looking for–whatever you are desperately trying to get from them–you must, must, must learn to give it first. TO YOURSELF! Continue to come back to your own fullness, your own completeness–continue to remember that you have everything you need, that you don’t need to GET anything from anyone else. Everything you think you need from your partner you can actually give to yourself. You take care of you. And it is in this knowing–when you stop demanding to GET from him or her and when you start showing up to GIVE–that you really start to receive everything you want.” via Soul Full: How to Get What You Want in Relationships.

I <3 Shelly's teaching…

4

A Love Letter: Do You Desire To Be Deeply Loved?

ChristineAr-300x248Christine Arylo writes:

Every single person on this planet wants to be deeply loved – whether they will admit it or are aware of it or not. The truth is that no matter how much money you make, how beautiful your body is or how many accolades you acquire, at the core of who you are, you desire to be deeply loved.

And yet, how many of us would be willing to stand up and admit to the world this deepest of deep desires? Would you? Of course you might express that you would really like a loving relationship, that your family is important to you, or even that you’d like to take better care of yourself.

But would you peel back the curtain that protects your delicate soul to reveal that inside is the most innocent and pure heart, one who craves to be seen by another so deeply that you could almost feel that person witnessing your soul? Would you show us the holes of loneliness that sometimes surface on that same heart when your soul feels unseen, unheard, un-understood?

I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.

The loneliest times of my life have been in relationships – be it with a parent, a friend or a romantic partner – in which I called out to be seen… when I reached out for unconditional love… and neither was returned.

After 30 years of trying to find that deep love from the people around me whom I loved, I was gifted with a profound realization, one that I have since come to understand is the secret to everything in life. When we live by it, the happiness and love we seek is ever present. When we don’t, we will find ourselves forever seeking out happiness and love, in vain.

The secret is this:

The deep love you seek starts and ends with the love you have for you.” Full story at: A Love Letter: Do You Desire To Be Deeply Loved?.

2

Catch Anger Before It Catches You

“For every moment you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Full story at: Catch Anger Before It Catches You | Tiny Buddha.

1

What Your Dissatisfying Relationships Are Telling You

Shelly Bullard is one of my favorite writers at MindBodyGreen. Today she has an article written directly at me [as if she was reading my email!] that I want to share with you:

Are you seeking a relationship that will make you feel complete?

Have you been searching for love but all of your experiences seem to fall short?

Do you get excited, thinking you found “the one,” only to feel dissatisfied again shortly after the high wears off?

If so, you are reading the right article.

This is a very common experience. It’s easy to feel jaded about love if you’ve had enough experiences that haven’t turned out the way you want.

Luckily, there is a reason this keeps happening. Believe it or not, you are looking for love in all the wrong places.

The relationship you are really looking for is one with YOURSELF.

I know, you may not believe me at first. You may think that you already have the best possible relationship you can have with yourself.

However if you are constantly up against feelings such as “something is missing,” or “this isn’t good enough,” or “I’m not satisfied,” then it’s a good indication that it’s time to really start tending to the most important relationship in your life–the one you have with you.

When we don’t feel satisfied within, we project the feelings of inadequacy onto our partners and other aspects of our life. The real truth is, if it feels like something is missing in your life, then it’s probably you (thank you Robert Holden for this life-changing lesson).

Here is what is going on in this oh-so common pattern: When you seek completion (meaning you are looking to feel good about yourself–to feel at peace, in love, and whole) outside of yourself, it implies that you feel incomplete to begin with.

Unfortunately this feeling of incompletion (that lives in you) is going to follow you into whatever situation you make your way into.

Sure, when you fall in love you are going to get a glimpse of completion and love that is so divine.

But, if what drove you into the relationship in the first place was to overcome a sense of feeling incomplete, you will find that soon enough you will begin to feel incomplete within the relationship, too.

Other people don’t complete us. Only You complete You.

I know many of us have heard this before and that, in theory, we believe that it is true. But the trouble is we don’t do anything about this truth!

We keep repeating the same pattern over and over again–looking for love, for completion, for a sense of inner peace by acquiring things (especially people) outside of us.

Unfortunately nothing on the outside can ultimately change the way you feel on the inside.

This isn’t to say that relationships don’t serve a purpose. This is not true. They serve the ultimate purpose–for us to feel love.

But there are very different qualities in the type of love you feel if you are trying to complete yourself with someone else versus the type of love you feel when you are showing up to join, share, and co-create with another.

In the first relationship, you are going to feel preoccupied with everything that is missing–with all that you are not getting from the other person.

In the second, you are going to feel much more freedom to just relax and freely give your love away.

You can feel deeply satisfied in relationships with other people. In fact, you are supposed to. But (and this is a big BUT) YOU have to get right with YOU first.

I came across this quote the other day by Suzanne Falter-Barnes, and she sums it up perfectly. Here is what she said:

“There is no relationship pure enough, pristine enough, sublime enough, romantic enough, beautiful enough, fulfilling enough, spiritually attuned enough to overcome the despair you will feel when you are not connected to who you are–when you are not connected to your own heart and soul.”

For your life to feel full, YOU must feel full. For your relationships to feel satisfying, YOU must feel satisfied. Soul, depth, heart, and love all come from within. And when you tap into these parts of yourself, you start to feel them all around you.

When you feel disconnected from you, you feel disconnected from everyone around you too. This is just how it works.

So what can you do? Stop looking for the answer outside of yourself–it’s not there.

You can’t control other people. You can’t expect someone to behave in a way that feels good to you all the time. You can’t get another person’s attention 100% of the time. You can’t get a stream of pure positive love from another person all the time. You can’t.

But, you can give yourself these things. You can connect into your own heart. You can live out your desires. You can be true to who you really are, and feel fullness from within. You can live your life with depth, purpose, meaning and soul. All these things you can do. And you must, if you really want to live a life filled with joy and love.

You are who you are looking for. It’s You. Just you.

If your life doesn’t feel satisfying enough–if your relationships are falling short–stop looking for the answer on the outside and go within.

Connect into yourself. Find yourself. Be true to yourself. And when you do, you will find that the love you have been looking for has been with you all along, and that it’s here to stay.” What Your Dissatisfying Relationships Are Telling You.

Over 30 years ago, Dr. Charles Alcorn summed it upfor me like this: Don’t look without for that which you should find within”. I heard the wisdom of his words but but was unable to implement it; only now am I entering into a fulfilling relationship with my Self through Celebrate Recovery and the help of my sponsors and accountability partners. It’s not easy but it is simple and it makes all the difference in the world…

11

How to Blame Effectively!

Blame effectively? WTH? Isn’t blaming BAD? Christine Hassler shares this perspective:

Last week I attended Date with Destiny, which was my first Tony Robbins event. Tony is truly masterful at what he does and I had the extra bonus of going with Mastin, Jenna, Chris Assaad and Marie Forleo – we had a blast together sharing our breakthroughs and supporting each other.

One powerful takeaway that I wanted to share with you is about how to blame effectively. Tony talks a lot about our stories, which are created by the meaning we give to events in our life.  Our stories usually have a heaping dose of blame mixed into them.  We blame others for hurting us, making us feel a certain way, not behaving the way we wanted them to, etc.  Blame may be comforting because it justifies our hurt; however, it is completely paralyzing because it makes us a victim of our life rather than a co-creator.

Tony’s advice was that if you are going to blame, at least do so effectively by blaming them for all the lessons and blessings that came from what they did or didn’t do. This resonates with what I believe and teach, which is that EVERY person in our life serves our growth.  The Uni-verse makes no accidents in terms of who the cast of characters are in our life story . . . BUT we make the mistake of casting too many villains rather than angels in our own story.” Full story at: How to Blame Effectively!.

1

What has to happen for you to be happy?

Mastin Kipp writes:

One of the coolest ah-ha moments I got from Tony Robbins’s “Date with Destiny” seminar is the idea of what rules we have about what has to happen for us to feel happy or fulfilled.

And what’s amazing is that so many of us have rules that make it SO hard for us to be happy or fulfilled that we rarely ever feel like we are.” Full story at: What has to happen for you to be happy?.

1

Being Open-Minded

Craig Harper shares some thoughts on being open-minded:

If nothing else, the last twenty years have taught me the value of being open-minded. Of being prepared to unlearn. Of being more humble and less self-righteous. Of asking better questions. Of listening to others. And of looking at old things in new ways. They have also taught me that it’s okay to not know things; which is great because I don’t know most things. And that it’s okay to be wrong. And to make mistakes. And to be scared. Which is also great because I’m often wrong, scared and mistaken.

Oh, to be omnipotent.

I’ve also learned that, in many ways, most of us feel obligated to be ‘certain and absolute’ about some things that – if we’re being totally honest – it’s almost impossible to be certain and absolute about. God. Life after death. Love. Relationships. Happiness. The meaning of life. Right. Wrong. Justin Bieber. The Matrix. Just to name a few.

A State of Flux

It’s fair to say that my beliefs, standards, ideas and even my world-view (we all have one) have all changed significantly over the last decade or two. In fact, it’s also fair to say that, in my world, all those things are in a constant state of flux. That is, they are constantly evolving. As am I. They’re always up for discussion. And analysis. Unlike the past, these days I’m not particularly attached to them. Emotionally, that is. I don’t always need to know. I don’t need to be right. And I don’t need to win.

Despite what we’re taught, life is not a competition.

For me, letting go of the need to be right, certain and absolute was one of the most liberating and empowering journeys I’ve ever allowed myself to take. It was like stepping out of chaos and into calm. It was a relief. Looking back, I think it was my insecurity and lack of self-esteem that compelled me to (want to) be all-knowing, certain and right.

Or, at the very least, to appear that way.” Full story at: Being Open-Minded.

1

Affirmations

Melody-Beattie.pngMelody Beattie writes:

One of our choices in recovery is choosing what we want to think – using our mental energy positively.

Positive mental energy, positive thinking, does not mean we think unrealistically or revert to denial. If we don’t like something, we respect our own opinion. If we spot a problem, we’re honest about it. if something isn’t working out, we accept reality. But we don’t dwell on the negative parts of our experience.

Whatever we give energy to, we empower.

There is magic in empowering the good, because whatever we empower grows bigger. One way to empower the good is through affirmations: simple positive statements we make to ourselves: I love myself… I’m good enough… My life is good…I’m glad I’m alive today… What I want and need is coming to me… I can…

Our choice in recovery is not whether to use affirmations. We’ve been affirming thoughts and beliefs since we were old enough to speak. The choice in recovery is what we want to affirm.

Today, I will empower the good in myself, others, and life. I’m willing to release, or let go of, negative thought patterns and replace them with positive ones. I will choose what I want to affirm, and I will make it good.

via Just For Today Meditations » Daily Recovery Readings – December 11, 2012.

And, whatever we resists, persists…

3

An Irresponsible Christmas

The minimalists write:

We are clearly in the throes of the holiday-shopping season. Take a look around. The shopping malls are packed with herds of consumers. The storefronts are decorated in green and red. The jingly commercials are running nonstop.

The holiday season has much to recommend it, though. Each year around this time we all feel that warm-’n’-fuzzy Christmastime nostalgia associated with the onset of winter. We break out the scarfs and the gloves and the winter coats. We go ice skating and sledding and eat hearty meals with our extended families. We take time off work and spend time with our loved ones and give thanks for the gift of life.

The problem is that we’ve been conditioned to associate this joyous time of year—the mittens and decorations and the family activities—with purchasing material items. We’ve trained ourselves to believe that buying stuff is part of Christmas.

We all know, however, that the holidays needn’t require gifts to be meaningful. Rather, this time of year is meaningful because of its true meaning—not the wrapped boxes we place under the tree.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with gifts. But it’s irresponsible for us to believe that purchasing presents is a required part of the holidays. Instead, we can celebrate the infinite gifts we have all around us. Even without presents—a sans-gifts holiday—we have everything we need to be jolly and merry and joyous on Christmas already.

via An Irresponsible Christmas | The Minimalists.

0

How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship When You’re Depressed

“Love isn’t a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun, like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.”  ~Fred Rogers

Full story at: How to Maintain a Healthy Relationship When You’re Depressed | Tiny Buddha.

1

The Frustration Situation

Craig Harper shares these thoughts:

Frustration: it affects all of us at some stage. It’s a part of the human experience and it’s an emotion that doesn’t discriminate. We often find ourselves frustrated when things don’t turn out the way we expected or hoped they would or should. More often than not, our frustration is triggered by something (a situation, a conversation, a circumstance, a person, an event) which is beyond our immediate control.

Like that idiot who lives across the road.

Having said that, what is in our control, is our reaction. Like all emotions, frustration is a personal response to something that’s happening (or not happening, as the case may be) in our world. And while most people believe it’s the external stimulus that produces our internal response, in reality, our frustration is self-created. The challenge is not to overcome frustration (as such) but rather, to learn to manage it as opposed to being managed by it.

So, having worked with the frustrated multitudes for years, I thought I’d share a few suggestions that you might find helpful.

1. Don’t Try to Change People. Trying to change others (we’ve all done it) is an exercise in frustration and, at times, disconnection and aggravation. Giving people unwanted advice, direction or feedback (no matter how well-intended) will invariably end in tears. Either literally or metaphorically. Keep in mind that unwanted input or commentary is typically interpreted as criticism.

2. Stop Wasting Your Emotional Energy. Control what you can and let go of what you can’t. All too often, we invest our emotional energy into things (situations, circumstances, issues) over which we have little or no control. Not surprisingly, sending our blood pressure through the roof while screaming at a sporting event on television (for example) won’t change the outcome. Or the umpire’s stupid decisions. In fact, the only thing it might do is send us to an early grave. Oh, and possibly, annoy the crap out of everyone else within earshot.

3. Stop Juggling. Stop doing fifty things poorly and focus your time and energy on doing the important things well. That is, prioritise. I had to learn this lesson as I once had a propensity to bite off more than I could chew. Many of us simply take on more things than we can do well. Sometimes the answer is to put certain things on hold in order to be able to make progress in other areas. As a rule, over-commitment leads to exhaustion, anxiety and frustration. And eventually, physical illness. So, what’s the best use of your time, skill and energy right now? The answer to that question is your starting point.

4. Stop Aiming for Perfection. Aim for better. Aim for improvement. Aim for growth. Our society’s obsession with perfection has led to unrealistic expectations, unhealthy thinking, mass frustration and disappointment. Of course frustration will be the result when our goal is unattainable. When perfection is the goal, no result will ever be good enough.

5. Be Patient. Stop trying to reinvent yourself by next Tuesday. It took you a long time to get where you are now (practically, financially, emotionally, physically, psychologically, sociologically), so be realistic with your expectations as you work towards creating the new and improved version of you. I’m always amazed by people who have punished their body for decades (with atrocious eating, zero exercise and poor lifestyle habits) who then find a way to be disappointed and frustrated when they don’t look like a supermodel or elite athlete two weeks into their ‘weight-loss kick’. Good grief.

6. Stop Relying on Others to Get You There (wherever there is). It’s great to have support, encouragement and help along the way, but it’s not great to be totally dependant on others to make our dreams a reality. While it’s healthy to be part of a team of people who are all on the same page and all moving in the same direction, it’s still important for us to be functional, productive and effective on our own. Independent and strong. Being totally reliant on someone else (to reach our goals) is an exercise in both frustration and disempowerment.

7. Compare Yourself to Others – with Caution. Comparing ourselves to others rarely results in something positive. It can, but typically, it won’t. Invariably, it will focus our attention on what we don’t have or what we haven’t done and lead to self-pity and/or frustration. Having said that, it can work in our favour when we make it. Comparisons can be a positive when we use the achievements of others with similar attributes, potential and opportunities (to us) as a source of motivation, inspiration, learning and perspective for our own journey.

Now… deep breaths. :)

If you liked this article, subscribe to my blog and get a my FREE eBook, click here: I want a FREE eBook. You can also check out My Best Selling Book, and My Best Selling Video (Trailer).

Source: The Frustration Situation

4

Duty

Melody Beattie writes:

Responding to duty separates the men from the boys and the women from the girls. Can you let go of what you would rather be doing and do something else?

Inventory Focus: Have you ever ignored or neglected your duties? What were the consequences of that? After my divorce, I was swamped by bills and not making much money. I hid those bills deep in a drawer. That didn’t help. I could still hear them calling my name from any room in the house. Is some duty whispering – or screaming—at you right now? Wouldn’t it be easier to just say yes? via December 9 | Language of Letting Go.

0

Wow: Thinking About How Much We Eat Makes Us Full!

Greatist – Health and Fitness Articles, News, and Tips

Get the scoop here: News: Thinking About How Much We Eat Makes Us Full.

0

Watch out for those rocks of negativity

via @notsalmon

Get the rest here: Watch out for those rocks of negativity by Chantelle Adams.

0

People Change

Lately I have been seeing that if I can just wait for 3 days, most disturbances will settle and life returns to forward movement. I don’t have to fix things immediately. I can live for 3 days — one day at a time. Things don’t have to be perfect in the meantime…

via People Change.

10

The Secrets That Keep Happy Couples Together

Cynthia Belmer shares this:

What makes a relationship work? What can couples do to stay happy in their relationship, especially in this modern age with stress all around us?

Everyone wants to make their relationship last and everyone wants to feel loved, happy, and in harmony with their partner, but few experience it.

Harmony is about a mutual agreement of giving and receiving in the most balanced, loving and humble way, while maintaining the space needed for self-nurturing and self-love. You can realize it and live it in your relationship when you:

1. Become best friends. Understand the likes, dislikes, the fears, the pain and the gain of your partner and ask open-ended questions.

2. Explore your common vision for the future. Discuss your goals and your visions for the future. How does a great and lasting relationship look like to you? Follow through with this view and commit to realizing and nurturing it.

3. Be humble. Take responsibility of our own actions and say that you’re sorry when you mess up.

4. Be generous. Allow yourself to give with humbleness, to appreciate with love, to forgive with softness, to listen with care and to compromise while receiving your needs in return.

5. Invest in your own and constant self-growth. Follow through with your interests, your goals, your emotional needs and wants and share them with your partner.

6. Trust. Speak your truth, always and allow both of your fears to surface and share them gently together.

7. Listen and never forget. Listen very carefully to your partner and remember what interests them, what they enjoy, they dislike and most importantly, remember their stories.

8. Allow spaciousness. Give some alone time to yourself and your partner and do unique things that you enjoy and that make you feel good.

9. Get intimate. Express your love through hugging, kissing, caressing, cuddling, holding, and other forms of physical affection.

10. Have faith. Never give up on realizing the picture of a great relationship, especially when going through a big storm.

So my question to you is: If you were to make a change so you could live happily and in harmony in your relationship, what would you be doing?

via The Secrets That Keep Happy Couples Together.

3

What Are Jim Carrey’s Thoughts On Awakening?

Just in case you missed this:

Carrey’s enthusiasm on awakening is contagious as he reveals the freedom he’s experienced as a result of looking at his thoughts from a different perspective. After studying Eckhart Tolle’s teachings for sometime, he finally experienced his awakening when he realized the following:

“Who is it that’s aware I’m thinking?”…….Suddenly, I was thrown into this expansive, amazing feeling of freedom from myself and from my problems as I saw that I was bigger than what I do, I was bigger than my body, I was everything, and everyone.”

Of course being the comedian that he is, he throws in a few jokes, but watch this two-minute video to hear his interesting insights on how this mental shift has helped change his life.

via What Are Jim Carrey’s Thoughts On Awakening? | FinerMinds.

0

Start a Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑