Dinge, die ich nicht ändern kann, zu akzeptierenden
Mut, Dinge zu ändern, die ich ändern kann,
und die Weisheit den Unterschied zu erkennen.
Gelassenheitsgebet
The “If, Then” Trap: How It Keeps You Unhappy and How to Avoid It
I’ve recognized that this daily trap can keep me from experiencing the fullness of being in the present moment. Avoiding it is the key to being happier.
Source: The “If, Then” Trap: How It Keeps You Unhappy and How to Avoid It
We are all made of stardust
Another fascinating TED talk…
5 Ways Journaling Can Help You Get Through the Hard Stuff via @tinybuddha
Writing about the hard stuff is actually what helps me get through it. It’s what makes journaling so incredibly powerful.
Source: 5 Ways Journaling Can Help You Get Through the Hard Stuff – Tiny Buddha
How Buddhism Helped Eric Ripert Tame His Anger
If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. But if you’re a Michelin Star chef with a restaurant to run, you’re going to need a better coping strategy.
Source: Heaven’s Kitchen: How Buddhism Helped Eric Ripert Tame His Anger | Big Think
If another can easily anger you
“If another can easily anger you, it is because you are off balance with yourself.” — Unknown Author
Source: mysimplereminders
Dangers of the “Blame Game” (& What Blame Really Reveals)
In inter-personal relationships, the one playing the blame game will never really find happiness as they won’t ever fully experience their own power, they’re giving it away with the blame to someone else. So, instead of indulging in the game, here’s what you can do when the beast of blame rears its ugly head.
Read more: Dangers of the “Blame Game” (& What Blame Really Reveals) –
The Inside Story of How Slow Breathing Calms You Down
Take a deep breath. That’s routine advice for how to calm down or slow down. Yoga instructors, therapists, parents, and even elementary school teachers use long, slow breathing exercises to instill tranquility or reduce anxiety. Now, researchers at Stanford University School of Medicine are giving the same advice, with brand-new neuroscience to back it up. In a recent study, they and their colleagues have uncovered a direct and powerful connection in the brain between breathing and states of mind.
Source: The Inside Story of How Slow Breathing Calms You Down | Psychology Today
Not Everyone Will Know How to Love You; Let Them…
“Perhaps, the problem is not the intensity of your love,
but the quality of the people you are loving.”
-Warsan ShirePeople will misunderstand, formulate and create misguided opinions of you no matter how diligently you’ve proved differently…
Let them.
People will judge, condemn and confine you to their own preconceived boxes from which you have no chance of escape…
Let them.
But,
Let them…
ONLY LOVE YOU FOR YOU. Not some projected image of who they expect you to be.
And
Let them…
ONLY ACCEPT YOU JUST AS YOU ARE, and if that is something they cannot do…save yourself and walk away.
You cannot force love from the people who are never quite ready and may likely never know how, but another person’s inability to love you does not diminish your worthiness and make you any less deserving of being understood and loved.
Your self-worth is far beyond judgment and mistreatment, and your life far more valuable than spent wasted in convincing someone else of something they refuse to see…
Let them…GO.
It is their misunderstandings, thoughts, opinions and judgments about you which are faulty, not you as a human.
The misconceptions of another is not your burden to bear…
Let them…GO.
Your humanness is not FAULTY, unlovable, unworthy, broken or any other lies you’ve told yourself.
History needn’t repeat itself, and painful wounds from the past needn’t be reopened, only healing…
Let them.
Not everyone will know how to love you…
Let them.
But realize you are worthy, valuable and destined for greatness…
Let them…settle.
But not you.
You are strong enough to walk away from anything incapable of reciprocating the love you deserve. Your entire essence of being radiates an irrefutable proof that you LOVE YOURSELF, and by loving yourself with such an intensity, the doors have inevitably opened to the possibility of someone else to enter your life baring the same capacity to love you.
So when this special person comes to love you…
Let them.
Go to the source for more: Not Everyone Will Know How to Love You; Let Them… –
Change the Channel
The metaphor I use for dealing with unwanted thoughts is Pandora. Almost everyone is familiar with this music service; give a thumbs up to the music that you like and a thumbs down to the things you don’t like. I don’t need to ruminate about my failed marriage – when that thought comes into my mind, I can give it a thumbs down and move on to the next thought. Perhaps author Rick Hanson says it better:
Sometimes the inner practices fail you – or at least aren’t matched to the pickle you’re in. You’ve let be, let go, and let in. You sat to meditate and it was like sitting on the stove. You tried to be here now and find the lessons – and wanted to whack the person who told you to do this. You still feel awful, overwhelmed, angry, afraid, inadequate, or depressed. Now what?
Sometimes it helps to change the channel, to take some kind of action. Watch TV, eat a cupcake, ask for a hug, get out of the house, something (not harmful) to shake things up, distract yourself, tune out, burn off steam, etc.
At some point you still have to engage the mind directly and do what you can with your situation. But there is certainly a place for respite or pleasure in its own right, plus these help refuel you for challenges.
Plus, changing channels has the built-in benefit of taking initiative on your own behalf. This helps counter the natural but harmful sense of helplessness that comes from tough times, and it supports the feeling that you and your needs truly matter.
Go to the source for more: Change the Channel | Psychology Today
It may be as simple as the old Perry Como song: “Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative and don’t mess with Mr. In-between.”
Claire Ryann > Taylor Swift [and everyone else]!
Claire Ryann
The Last of the Mohicans: Director’s Definitive Cut
I don’t know why this is available in its entirety on YouTube but apparently it is. This epic adventure/romance movies is one of my all-time favorite films. Right up there with Outlander – or should I say Outlander is right up there with it? :-D
Anger and Love
“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.” — Barbara de Angelis
Source: SimpleReminders.com — “The more anger towards the past you carry in your…
Which kind of truth?
Seth Godin writes:
Organic chemistry doesn’t care if you believe in it. Neither does the War of 1812.
Truth is real, it’s measurable and it happened. Truth is not in the eye of the beholder.
There are facts that don’t change if the observer doesn’t believe: The age of the Eiffel Tower. The temperature in Death Valley. The number of people in the elevator.
On the other hand, there are outcomes that vary quite a bit if we believe: The results of the next sales call. Our response to medical treatment. The enjoyment of music…
If you believe that this wine tastes better than that one, it probably will. If you believe you’re going to have a great day at work, it will surely help. Placebos work.
We make two mistakes, all the time. First, we believe that some things are facts (as in true), when in fact, belief has a huge effect on what’s going to happen. In the contest between nature and nurture, nurture has far more power than we give it credit for. In countless ways, our friends and parents matter more than our genes do.
At the same time, sometimes we get carried away. We work to amplify our beliefs by willfully confusing ourselves about whether the truth is flexible. It makes belief a lot more compelling (but a lot less useful) if we start to confuse it with truth.
But belief is too important and too powerful to be a suspect compatriot of the scientific/historical sort of truth.
We can believe because it gives us joy and strength and the ability to do amazing things. That’s enough.
Go to the source for more: Seth’s Blog: Which kind of truth?
I encourage you to follow his blog!
No Partner, No Worries: New Study of Psychological Health
Interesting study about the benefits of marriage that may surprise you!
When adults get into their mid-fifties and beyond, how much does a romantic partner matter to their psychological well-being? Matthew Wright and Susan Brown of Bowling Green University, authors of a study (link is external) recently published online at the Journal of Marriage and Family, expected to find a hierarchy of good outcomes. They predicted that married people would enjoy the greatest psychological well-being. Cohabiters, they thought, would do next best, and daters would follow in third place. They expected unpartnered single people to be worst off, psychologically. That is not what they found.
Instead they found that for women, partnership status made no difference. Whether the women were married, cohabiting, dating, or single and unpartnered, there were no statistically significant differences in their experiences of depression, stress, or loneliness. There were some nonsignificant trends in the data, but even those were not always consistent with the authors’ predictions. For example, the women who were dating tended to experience more stress than the single women without a romantic partner.
For the men, having a romantic partner mattered more than it did for the women, but again, not exactly in the ways the authors predicted. The authors thought that the unpartnered single men would do worse than the single men who were dating on every measure, but that never happened. The men who were dating did not differ significantly from the unpartnered single men in their experiences of depression or stress or loneliness.
The cohabiting men were predicted to do less well than the married men, but that never happened, either. The married men were more likely to report frequent depressive symptoms. They were also slightly more likely to experience stress than the cohabiting men. Marriage was also no protection against loneliness, as married men were no less lonely than cohabiting men. Cohabiting men also did well in comparison to the dating or unpartnered men on two measures of well-being: They were less likely to report frequent depressive symptoms or loneliness.
Go to the source for more: No Partner, No Worries: New Study of Psychological Health | Psychology Today
A Courageous Brain: Not Manipulated by Needless Fear
Our ancestors evolved a frightened brain for survival in harsh conditions. Today, unnecessary and unwarranted fear can make it harder to speak from the heart, dream big dreams and stand up to the manipulations of advertisers and demagogues. A Courageous Brain: Not Manipulated by Needless Fear is a Commonwealth Club National Podcast where Dr. Rick Hanson, Ph.D., explores the practical neuroscience of courage in ourselves, our homes, offices and politics. Go to the Commonwealth Club for more information.
Source: A Courageous Brain: Not Manipulated by Needless Fear – Dr. Rick Hanson
Listen here…
Bright, shiny objects! 
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