Author: Todd Lohenry

The internet is filled with bright, shiny objects. Many of them end up here! A @toddlohenry project. Be shiny!!!

Thanks, Justin Bieber

The Meta Picture via Thanks, Justin Bieber.

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Consequences…

 

image0142.gif (470×363).

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The Victor

Pops Digital via The Victor.

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Spoiler: The Faceboat Sinks at the End

Wow. How the mighty have fallen! Failbook – Funny Facebook Status Messages (Failbooking) via Spoiler: The Faceboat Sinks at the End.

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GIGO

Escape Adulthood with Kim & Jason via Things Nobody Told You About Being Creative: Interview with Austin Kleon.

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Talent < Table Salt?

Lead.Learn.Live. via Talent < Table Salt?.

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Nonviolent Communication

Nonviolent Communication (NVC) (also called Compassionate Communication or Collaborative Communication[1][2]) is a communication process developed by Marshall Rosenberg beginning in the 1960s.[3] NVC often functions as a conflict resolution process. It focuses on three aspects of communication: self-empathy (defined as a deep and compassionate awareness of one’s own inner experience), empathy (defined as listening to another with deep compassion), and honest self-expression (defined as expressing oneself authentically in a way that is likely to inspire compassion in others).

NVC is based on the idea that all human beings have the capacity for compassion and only resort to violence or behavior that harms others when they don’t recognize more effective strategies for meeting needs.[4] Habits of thinking and speaking that lead to the use of violence (psychological and physical) are learned through culture. NVC theory supposes all human behavior stems from attempts to meet universal human needs and that these needs are never in conflict. Rather, conflict arises when strategies for meeting needs clash. NVC proposes that if people can identify their needs, the needs of others, and the feelings that surround these needs, harmony can be achieved.[5]

While NVC is ostensibly taught as a process of communication designed to improve compassionate connection to others, it has also been interpreted as a spiritual practice, a set of values, a parenting technique, an educational method and a worldview.” Get more here: Nonviolent Communication – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

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Boo had babies!!!

My favorite kitty Boo had 4 little kittens last night! Rodents beware… :-D

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Scott Walker Deserves to Win

I don’t listen to Rush much any more, but I was interested to see what he had to say about the Scott Walker recall today and he hit it out of the park!

“Here’s a guy, Scott Walker, who’s being recalled for one reason.  He’s doing what he said he was gonna do.  It’s a policy recall.  He ran for office, he got elected on a specific agenda, and he has implemented it.  And now the Democrats are trying to recall him for it.  If this kind of stuff ever gets hold, elections are gonna be meaningless.  Elections are just gonna become another poll.” Get more here: Scott Walker Deserves to Win – The Rush Limbaugh Show.

Me? Proud to have voted for Walker and elections that mean something…

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If you’re not the lead dog…

…the view never changes as they say — and sometimes, that’s OK! One of my biggest pleasures in life is watching my wife’s long lean legs as we ride and if she thinks she’s going faster than me, who am I to tell her different… :-D

What’s my point? I’m always thinking. Not always about the right things, but I’m always thinking. Yesterday, taking a bike ride with my wife, it occurred to me that having a healthy relationship is a lot like taking a bike ride with a friend…

Let me take you back a year to the first time I read “Codependent No More”. A friend had suggested I might [and that’s an understatement] suffer from codependency. As I read the book, I realized I was reading about me. I shared the book with my wife and she took her own lessons from it. As we drove to Illinois to celebrate my birthday with family and listening to some of our favorite love songs, we started to realize how deeply codependent so many love songs are and as a result, they affect our perspective of love. Here are some great examples of sappy love songs I’ve listened to for decades [sorry to pick on Bread, but they illustrate my point so well]…

So what’s the answer? For me it’s the analogy of the bicycle ride and this gets back to what I was saying about thinking too much some times and looking for lessons. The thought came upon me that love is less like walking hand in hand sometimes and more like taking a bike ride together. When you ride together, each person is responsible for their own equipment [oil your chain, inflate your tires, select your own gear] and their own ‘balance’ — you have to make sure you don’t fall off your own bike! You can’t hold up your partner and ride at the same time…

When my wife and I ride, we choose a general route or direction, but I can’t pedal her bike for her. We each have a different strategy for hills, etc. — sometimes I like to kick them in the butt by charging breathlessly up them; sometimes I drop into first gear and crawl up them — but the point is I have to drag my own butt up the hill and she has to get up there by herself. I do my work, she does hers and when you get to the top of the hill and pull out the water bottle it’s sweet to be together again…

Reading this you now know why I don’t write my own material often but this is a deep lesson for me that I wanted to document for myself…

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6 Simple Hacks to Increase Your Energy

Getting things done quickly and well requires mental and physical energy. The better more you have the better your results. This applies to all every area of life from getting in a good workout to performing your best at your job. Unfortunately, energy isn’t something we always possess. This is especially true when we’re under stress, haven’t gotten enough sleep, or are distracted by having too many things to get done.

In this article I provide 6 tips to increase energy. Some work immediately and others provide their benefit over time. I use all of them regularly myself. They’ve helped me get through 80 hour work weeks while running a start-up business without having to overstimulate myself with too much caffeine.” Get more here: 6 Simple Hacks to Increase Your Energy.

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John Edwards, Guilty of Narcissism?

John Edwards official Senate photo portrait.

Narcissism helps us all get by in the face of adversity. It helps us believe in ourselves enough to keep going. We all have some of it, or we wouldn’t have survived this long. Entrepreneurs, actors, politicians and many professionals (doctors, lawyers, etc.) tend to have above-average rates of narcissism, because it helps them push forward despite repeated criticism, rejection, set-backs and occasional public humiliation.

In other words, they believe in themselves so much more and in what other people think so much less, that they can survive as risk-takers – and they are risk-takers. When they have a good idea, good talent and other good qualities, this narcissism helps them contribute to society from positions of leadership and power. You want your leaders to have some extra narcissism so that they can cope in protecting us from strong enemies and leading us forward in dealing with big problems.” Get more here: John Edwards, Guilty of Narcissism? | HCI High Conflict Speakers, Books.

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Knowledge and Wisdom

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What Are You Waiting For?

“Before someone’s tomorrow has been taken away, cherish those you love, appreciate them today.” Michelle C. Ustaszesk via Tiny Wisdom: What Are You Waiting For? | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In.

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Detachment means “freedom from emotion”

The Way You Make Me Feel
The Way You Make Me Feel (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Letting someone else’s behavior determine how we feel at every turn is irresponsible. Our emotions should be determined by us, not by someone else. But no doubt we have spent years confusing the boundaries that separate us from other people. Whether at work or at home, we have too often let someone else’s “insanity” affect how we behave and how we feel.

At first, it may seem insensitive not to react to others’ problems or negative behavior. We may fear they’ll think we simply don’t care about them. Learning that it is far more caring to let other people handle their own lives takes time and patience. But with practice, it will begin to feel comfortable. In fact, in time it will feel freeing and wonderful.

I will work on detachment today, knowing that in time the rewards will come. 

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Attack shame!

Melody Beattie writes:

“Shame can hold us back, hold us down, and keep us staring at our feet.” Beyond Codependency

Watch out for shame.

Many systems and people reek of shame.  They are controlled by shame and may want us to play their game with them.  They may be hoping to hook us and control us through shame.

We dont have to fall into their shame.  Instead, we’ll take the good feelings self, acceptance, love, and nurturing.

Compulsive behaviors, sexually addictive behaviors, overeating, chemical abuse, and addictive gambling are shame-based behaviors.  If we participate in them, we will feel ashamed.  Its inevitable.  We need to watch out for addictive and other compulsive behaviors because those will immerse us in shame.

Our past, and the brainwashing we may have had that imposed original shame upon us, may try to put shame on us.  This can happen when were all alone, walking through the grocery store or just quietly going about living our life.  Dont think.  Dont feel.  Dont grow or change.  Dont be alive.  Dont live life.  Be ashamed!

Be done with shame.  Attack shame.  Go to war with it.  Learn to recognize it and avoid it like the plague.

Today, I will deliberately refuse to get caught up in the shame floating around in the world.  If I cannot resist it, I will feel it, accept it, then be done with it as quickly as possible.  God, help me know that its OK to love myself and help me refuse to submit to shame.  If I get off course, help me learn to change shame into guilt, correct the behavior, and move forward with my life in immediate self-love.” via Adult Children Anonymous.

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Waste of time?

Failbook – Funny Facebook Status Messages ( Failbooking ) via If a Bro Works Out in a Gym and Nobody’s Around to See It, Does He Even Exist?.

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Honesty

Melody Beattie writes:

“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” Step Five of Al Anon

Talking openly and honestly to another person about our­selves, in an attitude that reflects self-responsibility, is critical to recovery.

It’s important to admit what we have done wrong to others and to ourselves. Verbalize our beliefs and our behaviors. Get our resentments and fears out in the open.

That’s how we release our pain. That’s how we release old beliefs and feelings. That’s how we are set free. The more clear and specific we can be with our Higher Power, our­selves, and another person, the more quickly we will experience that freedom.

Step Five is an important part of the recovery process. For those of us who have learned to keep secrets from ourselves and others, it is not just a step — it is a leap toward becom­ing healthy.

Today I will remember that it’s okay to talk about the issues that bother me. It is by sharing my issues that I will grow beyond them. I will also remember that it’s okay to be selective about those in whom I confide. I can trust my instincts and choose someone who will not use my disclosures against me, and who will give me healthy feedback.” via June 5: Honesty.

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Time is $

Anderson Layman’s Blog via Great moments………………..

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Are You Running Away from Yourself?

“No matter where you go, there you are.” Confucius. Get more here: Are You Running Away from Yourself? | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In.

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A reminder for procrastinators…

notsalmon via A reminder for procrastinators….

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