Start getting very real with yourself, about the stories you’re telling yourself. Here’s a huge hint: They are also the stories you tell others to explain yourself. Especially pay attention to when, regardless of topic, you receive a gratifying rush of positive emotion when your audience empathizes with your story. Narratives that evoke positive feelings when others “get it” represent the absolute bleeding edge of story-based identity creation. When you tell someone a tale about who you are, why you’re doing X or why X is happening to you and they really get it, you’re unconsciously seeking validation. You’re testing out a new component of identity you’d like to adopt and your listener is giving you a big ol’ thumbs up.The problem with this? Even if that particular narrative is a limiting explanation for why you can’t achieve what you want. Toxic stories will still elicit positive emotions when people “get” you.
Source: Why the stories you tell yourself decide your success | Peter Shallard
Bright, shiny objects! 
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