Unconscious Fear in Relationship

Good stuff from Gemma Stone:

Most of us are governed by unconscious fears.

Two basic fears emerge from early life that can devastate our intimate relationships ::

Fear of overwhelm emerges from feeling small in a world that is big & powerful. From this we develop coping strategies like becoming over-accommodating to the needs, desires, and will of others. We avoid the messiness of life and we become passive.

Fear of abandonment emerges from feeling like we were not treated with tenderness & care. From this we develop coping strategies like trying to gain control of others, avoiding intimacy and vulnerable situations, desperately searching for reassurance, trying to create connection with force, and developing patterns of co-dependency.

Of all the difficulties we face as we adventure through life, the greatest obstacles to overcome will be ones we don’t know are there.

Jung said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

Full story at: Unconscious Fear in Relationship | Gemma Stone.