How to start a fight; how to stop one

Are things like this funny because we’ve all been stupid enough to say them [or something like them] at some point in time or another?

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s License to verify my age.

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at

home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have

to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for

me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at

the Social Security office. She said, ‘You should have dropped

your pants. You might have gotten disability too.’

And then the fight started…

—

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me,

“I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you

to pay me a compliment.’

I replied, “Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”

And then the fight started……..

via higher powered: How to start a fight (part 3).

Groan!!!

I had a great day yesterday despite serving as a timer for 9 hours at a swim meet with over 500 kids. Why? I remembered a few things I had read in the past few weeks:

Lindsey Ramage taught me I can stop fights before they start by asking:

“Before you speak, ask yourself: is it kind, is it necessary, is it true, does it improve on the silence?” – Sai Baba

via 5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before You Say Anything « What I see, what I feel, what I’d like to see….

Shelly Bullard reminded me that I am at the heart of my most dissatisfying relationships and of something that Charles Alcorn told me over 30 years ago: “don’t look without for that which you should find within”…

Brian Johnson taught me that I can get in touch with my purpose in 5 seconds by asking myself “is this the highest version of my Self I can be at this moment?”

Finally, Tony Robbins taught me that I can change my state by changing my physiology; I smiled all day long and I was happy. Any time I found myself feeling tired, bored, pissed that there weren’t more volunteers I smiled and changed my state.

Sound overly simplistic? I thought so too but last night when I asked my wife if I needed to offer her an amends for anything I had done that day she couldn’t come up with a single thing and that makes all the difference in the world…