Owning What A Jerk I Can Be = Liberation!

Chela Davison writes:

I totally thought I was being hilarious. Turns out I was being an asshole. It’s a very strange experience when you realize that the You that’s in your head is not the same You that’s being experienced by others.

While it’s not a major theme in my life, I have, on occasion, received feedback from those who are close to me that I can be flippant and insensitive, that my humor can be cutting and people end up hurt. This hasn’t happened in a long time, but then suddenly it was EVERYWHERE. I wrote more apology emails two weeks ago than I have in the past several years.

I’m identified as being great with people. Because mostly I am. I pay attention, I listen, I care, I’m sensitive to the subtle cues of others and can feel what’s happening for people quite deeply.

But that’s when our own shadow can sneak up and take a chomp out of our asses isn’t it!? When we start to see ourselves in a particular way, good or bad, and become fixated on that image of ourselves, we stop being able to clearly see the parts of ourselves that aren’t that.” Full story at: Owning What A Jerk I Can Be = Liberation!.

Looking at her picture, it doesn’t seem like Chela could ever be a jerk, but I can relate. I call myself a ‘recovering assaholic’ — I can go from zero to Incredible Hulk in 60 seconds. Like Bruce Banner, I have to keep my anger in check all the time while I work on the root cause. Posts like this give me insight and hope…