via Some days… – Lead.Learn.Live.. If the B word [Buddha] freaks you out, consider this: “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he” via Proverbs 23:7a KJV – When thou sittest to eat with a ruler, – Bible Gateway.
…on Questions
“Sometimes questions are more important than answers.” ~ Nancy Willard via 3 Questions Worth Asking to Find the Right Answer for You | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In.
…on Refreshing Yourself
“There’s a “refresh” button you can click on the computer when you’re on-line. It makes the computer operate more efficiently.
Sometimes we get a little sluggish, too. We’ve been pushing too hard. Mulling the same thoughts over and over. Doing the same things over and over. Sometimes we need a change of scenery. Sometimes we need to refresh our thoughts with prayer, meditation, a few words from a friend, or spending some time with a good book.
Maybe it’s our bodies that need refreshing. We need a cold beverage, a brisk walk, a nap, or a hot shower.
Maybe we need a bigger refreshment: a weekend at a spa, a vacation. Even if our budget is low, we can pitch a tent in a park and take in the refreshing beauty of the world around us.
Look around. The world abounds with refreshments. The next time you get bogged down, stop pushing so hard. Do what you need to do to become efficient and operate with ease.
Refresh yourself.
God, help me understand the power of taking the time to refresh myself. Then help me stop thinking about it and actually do it.” via April 26: Refresh Yourself.
12 Ways to Know If You Are a Leader
“While everyone has the potential to be a leader, most never take up the mantle. They are content to let others take the risk and do the work.
Several years ago, I read a post by Tony Morgan called “10 Easy Ways to Know You’re Not a Leader.” I took that list, and then inverted and expanded it.
Here are twelve ways to know if you are a leader.” Go to the source if you’re interested in Michael Hyatt’s 12 Ways: 12 Ways to Know If You Are a Leader | Michael Hyatt.
Related articles
- 3 Actions You Can Take Now to Shift Your Emotional State | Michael Hyatt shared by Michelle (iwokeupyesterday.com)
…on Making Yourself Do Uncomfortable Things!
“Many of us do not understand what we are responsible for and what we are not responsible for. We may believe we have to get into a tizzy when someone has a problem because it is our responsibility to do that. However, at the heart of most rescues is a demon: low self-worth. We rescue because we don’t feel good about ourselves.. caretaking provides us with a temporary hit of good feelings, self-worth, and power. Just as a drink helps an alcoholic momentarily feel better, a rescue move momentarily distracts us from the pain of being who we are. We don’t feel loveable, so we settle for being needed. We don’t feel good about ourselves, so we feel compelled to do a particular thing to prove how good we are.” ~ Melody Beattie via Today’s Quotes: What Joy!? Make Yourself Do Uncomfortable Things!.
Life’s Inconveniences
I just stumbled upon Laura Gardner’s blog and thought I’d share something good I found there…
We have expectations that life SHOULD go smoothly – the computer should turn on, the car shouldn’t break down, the plumber should arrive on time. It can be horribly upsetting when things don’t go according to our expectations. But a life without inconvenience is a magical reality. What is certain is that there will be inconveniences – some small, some large, but always some.
In the same way as we expect life to go as planned, we expect ourselves to always make the “right” choices. So often in the counseling room I listen to clients lament, “I should have known,” “I should have done it differently,” “I should have seen it coming,” “I should have done it better.” Whether it’s about their education, their career choices, their relationship patterns, or anything else, people see how they “should have” done it differently. Hindsight is always 20/20, right?
But fighting the unexpected is not the most productive or satisfying way to live. Wishing it were some other way can be very painful. How can we roll with it, and embrace life’s detours and roadblocks? Many spiritual masters of course have turned to the principle of being present. It sounds so simple, so obvious. Yet, the challenge of it is monumental. It was either Deepak Chopra or Eckhart Tolle who wrote about the task of doing the dishes, and how if we’re present to it, the task can be pleasurable. (The day I enjoy doing the dishes is the day that hell freezes over, but I digress…) via Life’s Inconveniences « Holistic Gardner Blog.
You might want to add her to your Google Reader as well…
You Are a Work of Art
Melody Beattie shares this today….
All the arts we practice are apprenticeship. The big art is our life. ~ M. C. Richards
What you do is not who you are.
You are more, much more, than that.
It’s easy to get so caught up in what we do that we’re only identifying ourselves through our daily tasks. I am a mechanic. I am a parking lot attendant. I am a doctor. I am a dishwasher. When we link ourselves too closely to our jobs, we deny ourselves the chance to ever be anything else. We limit ourselves by believing that’s all we are and all we’ll ever be.
Our concept of who we are is one of the hardest, but most rewarding, ideas we can change. If you have been brought up believing that you are clumsy, you will probably demonstrate this belief in your actions—until you identify that idea, let go of it, and let yourself be something else.
Don’t limit yourself by saying you are just what you do. Stop seeing yourself as a static being. If I am “just” a parking lot attendant, then how can I hope to ever influence someone through my words, my art, my music, my life? But if I am a vital, living, growing soul who happens to be parking people’s cars, then everything I do can become a symphony. I can have an influence for good in the lives of everyone I touch. I can learn from them, and they from me. I can learn the lessons that I am supposed to learn at this place in my life, and I can move on to other lessons.
God gave us the power to change. You’re more than what you do. You’re a vital vibrant soul that came here to experience, grow, and change. Make a masterpiece out of your life.
God, help me realize the glory of my soul. Thank you for my mortality and for the ability to learn and grow.
Source: April 24: You are a Work of Art | Language of Letting Go
Remember to Take Care of Yourself
Here’s a moral with a story from Melody Beattie…
Jenna started dating a new man. Like many women, she was a little frustrated with all the losers that had come along before. She thought she’d put this one to the test. She wanted to see how good he’d be to her.
So when he called her up and asked her what she wanted to do, she told him she thought he should take her on a little trip.
“Hawaii would be nice,” she said. “You get us the tickets. And find someplace nice for us to stay when we get there. I don’t want to be in a cheesy hotel.”
He had enough money in the bank. The trip, she thought, would be exquisite and luxurious. She envisioned the first-class air travel, the limos, and the home he’d rent complete with maid service and a cook.
When the day of the trip arrived, they took a taxi, not a limo, to the airport. And when she boarded the airplane, he led her back to coach. When the flight attendant came around asking if people wanted to rent movies, her boyfriend shook his head and went back to reading his book. She had to dig out the four dollars to pay for the movie.
She sat scrunched up in her seat, all the way to Hawaii. When they got there, he took her to a time-share condo. Then he drove her in the rental car to the grocery store and said, “Pick out what you want to cook.”
Throughout the vacation she spent a lot of time stewing in her head, but when they got home, she decided to give him one more chance.
So when he called her up and asked her what she wanted to do Friday night, she said she thought a movie would be nice. She hung up the phone, then dressed up and did her hair. She thought maybe he’d take her to a nice theater.
He picked her up, then drove to the nearest Blockbuster. “Go in and pick out whatever video you’d like to rent,” he said. “Do you want to watch it at your place or mine?
The moral of this story is twofold and simple. The first lesson is if you know exactly what you want, you need to spell it out clearly. The second is that it’s better not to expect people to take care of us. Even if they agree to do it, we might not like how they do the job.
While it’s nice to have people love us and do things for us, it’s better to plan on taking care of ourselves.
God, help me remember that it’s my job to take care of myself.
Source: April 18: Remember to Take Care of Yourself | Language of Letting Go
Hmmmm…
Lately I’ve been learning a lot about expectations. I think the simplest way to avoid disappointment is not to have them. Or, as Melody points out if you DO have expectations “you need to spell it [them] out clearly” or be prepared to meet them yourself…
Related articles
- On taking care of your self… (toddlohenry.com)
- You are Responsible for You (toddlohenry.com)
- Owning our Power (toddlohenry.com)
- You have the power (toddlohenry.com)
- Go easy (toddlohenry.com)
Taking Care of Ourselves
In The Language of Letting Go Melody Beattie says…
“We often refer to recovery from codependency and adult child issues as “self-care.” Self-care is not, as some may think, a spin-off of the “me generation.” It isn’t self-indulgence. It isn’t selfishness—in the negative interpretation of that word. We’re learning to take care of ourselves, instead of obsessively focusing on another person. We’re learning self-responsibility, instead of feeling excessively responsible for others. Self-care also means tending to our true responsibilities to others; we do this better when we’re not feeling overly responsible. Self-care sometimes means, “me first,” but usually, “me too.” It means we are responsible for ourselves and can choose to no longer be victims. Self-care means learning to love the person we’re responsible for taking care of—ourselves. We do not do this to hibernate in a cocoon of isolation and self-indulgence; we do it so we can better love others, and learn to let them love us. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s self-esteem. Today, God, help me love myself. Help me let go of feeling excessively responsible for those around me. Show me what what I need to do to take care of myself and be appropriately responsible to others.”
Beattie, Melody (2009-12-15). The Language of Letting Go (Hazelden Meditation Series) (pp. 105-106). Hazelden. Kindle Edition.
Feel free today to take care of yourself…
Related articles
- You are Responsible for You (toddlohenry.com)
- Go easy (toddlohenry.com)
- On taking care of your self… (toddlohenry.com)
- Owning our Power (toddlohenry.com)
- Thursday Quote – Melody Beattie (elizaggie.wordpress.com)
You are Responsible for You
More from Melody Beattie:
We can delegate tasks, but we can’t delegate responsibility, if the responsibility is really ours.
Sometimes, it’s normal to delegate tasks to other people. We may hire people to do certain things for us. We may engage in contracts with a therapist or a healer to help us work through a certain issue. But the responsibility for which pieces of advice we follow, and the decisions we make in our lives, ultimately belongs to us.
It’s easy to get lazy. We can let a friend, an employee, or even a skilled therapist begin making our decisions for us. We can listen to what they say and blindly take their advice. Then we don’t have to take responsibility for our lives. If the decision doesn’t work out, we can say, “You were wrong. Look at the mess you’ve gotten me into. I’m a victim, again.”
Yes you are. But you’re a victim of yourself.
We can listen to advice and let other people help us, but if they’re helping us do something that is our responsibility, the ultimate responsibility for the decision still belongs to us.
Get help when you need it. Delegate tasks. But don’t give away your power. Remember you can think, you can feel, you can take care of yourself, you can figure out your problems.
Don’t get lazy. Don’t give away responsibility for your life.
God, help me remember that I am responsible for me.
Source: April 17: You are Responsible for You | Language of Letting Go
Related articles
- Owning our Power (toddlohenry.com)
- Go easy (toddlohenry.com)
- On taking care of your self… (toddlohenry.com)
- Feeling Good (toddlohenry.com)
- You’re Being Protected (toddlohenry.com)
Own Your Life
A valuable message from Melody Beattie…
Are you willing to take responsibility for this mat, to own it? That doesn’t mean it isn’t everybody else’s mat, too. If you’re big enough to own the mat as yours, you’re big enough to let it be theirs, too.
— George Leonard
In his book The Way of Aikido, George Leonard wrote about the concept of owning the mat. He was talking about aikido. He was referring to an air of ownership, a certain presence he learned to demonstrate both on the mats while practicing martial arts and in his life.
Many subtle attitudes and past conditioning can affect our sense of ownership of our lives and of the world we live in—guilt, a haunting sense of victimization, laziness, living with repressive, angry, or abusive people may have tamed our sense of ownership of our lives. Continue reading “Own Your Life”
Finally, brothers and sisters…
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
via Philippians 4:8 NIV – Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever – Bible Gateway.
On taking care of your self…
C. M. MacNeil shares this from Melody Beattie…
Our most important focus during times of stress is taking care of ourselves. We are better able to cope with the most irregular circumstances; we are better able to be there for others if we’re caring for ourselves. We can ask ourselves regularly: What do we need to do to take care of ourselves? What might help us feel better or more comfortable?
Self-care may not come as easily during times of stress. Self-neglect may feel more comfortable. But taking care of us always works.Today, I will remember that there is no situation that can’t be benefited by taking care of myself.
via April 14, 2012 – Today’s Gift from Hazelden « cmmacneil.
Related articles
- Owning our Power (toddlohenry.com)
- Coping devices (toddlohenry.com)
- Go easy (toddlohenry.com)
- Anger at Family Members? (toddlohenry.com)
- You have the power (toddlohenry.com)
The basic elements of creativity
swissmiss | The Basic Elements of Creativity
What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.Ecclesiastes 1:9 NIV – What has been will be again, what has – Bible Gateway
“Forgiveness”
I don’t care if you don’t like rap music! Listen and read along — this is good stuff…
You have the power
Good stuff from Melody Beattie. Again.
For the first several hundred years after the Buddha died, there were no images of him. Only his dharma, or teachings, were passed on from generation to generation. Eventually, however, the people wanted an image to remind them of their ideal, and that’s when and how Buddha statues came to be.
The good thing about having statues of Buddha is they remind followers of the ideals they’re striving for in their lives. The difficult thing about Buddha statues is that people may be tempted to idolize the statue, and forget to seek the state of consciousness the Buddha represented.
It’s easy for us to idolize our mentors and teachers, the people who encourage and help us to grow. It can be easy to look around us and think others have the key to enlightenment, success, joy.
Stop idolizing other people.
Look in the mirror.
You have everything you need to learn your lessons, grow, achieve success. You have all the courage you need to fail, then try again. You have everything you need, within you, to live and follow your own path with heart.
Not only are you right where you need to be, but you can get wherever you want to go from here. And you and I have all the power we need to learn the lessons we came here to learn.
God, teach me that all I need is within me.
Source: April 12: You Have the Power | Language of Letting Go
Christians, don’t get so hung up on the B word – you know, Buddha – that you miss the lesson! Have you forgotten this?
“The kingdom of God does not come with your careful observation, 21nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is within you.” Source: Luke 17 NIV 1984
Be uniquely you
Melody Beattie writes…
We will discover the nature of our particular genius when we stop trying to conform to our own or to other peoples’ models, learn to be ourselves, and allow our natural channels to open.
— Shakti Gawain
We have much in common with each other. And recovery, growth, and change are strengthened by honoring these similarities. But each of us is unique. We each have our own strengths, weaknesses, gifts, vulnerabilities—our own personalities.
The purpose of spiritual growth is not to eliminate the personality. It is to refine and enhance it, and allow each of us to express ourselves creatively.
We are not meant to be just like anyone else. Comparison will leave us uncomfortable, either on the side of pride or of inadequacy.
You are you. The wonder of life comes in finding your own rhythm to the dance, your own way of seeing the world, your own brush stroke, phrase, or special combination.
He is not here…
http://bible.us/Matt28.5.NIV The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.
Discover what works for you
Melody Beattie writes:
There is no quick fix, no panacea that will work for every person. Success rarely happens overnight or in five days. Even the Twelve Steps are only suggestions. Although proven to work, the details and decisions about how we apply those Steps in our lives are left to each one of us.
And few things happen overnight, except the beginning of a new day.
Listen to your mentors. Examine what’s been tried and true, and has worked and helped countless others along their paths. The Twelve Steps are one of those approaches. But don’t be taken in by false claims of overnight success and instant enlightenment along your path.
True change takes time and effort, especially when were changing and tackling big issues. We can often get exactly the help we need at times from a therapist, book, or seminar— the best things in life really are free and available to each one of us. The Twelve Steps, again, qualify in this area.
Discover what works for you.
Trust that you’ll be guided along your path and receive exactly the help and guidance you need. Then give it time. There really isn’t an easier, softer way.
God, give me perseverance to tackle my problems.
Source: April 8: Discover What Works for You | Language of Letting Go
Melody Beattie’s work on codependency works for me and has been a tremendous help over the past year as a supplement to the work I am doing in Celebrate Recovery. What is working for you this Easter as you think about resurrection and rebirth?
On respect for the American flag…
I don’t know why this bothers me so much, but a local dairy in our area is not only flying a Mexican flag on the same pole, but their American flag is in SHAMEFUL condition…
The flag should be cleaned and mended when necessary. Source: USFlag.org: A website dedicated to the Flag of the United States of America – Flag Etiquette
When a flag is so worn it is no longer fit to serve as a symbol of our country, it should be destroyed by burning in a dignified manner. Source: USFlag.org: A website dedicated to the Flag of the United States of America – Flag Etiquette
When flown with the national banner of other countries, each flag must be displayed from a separate pole of the same height. Each flag should be the same size. They should be raised and lowered simultaneously. The flag of one nation may not be displayed above that of another nation. Source: USFlag.org: A website dedicated to the Flag of the United States of America – Flag Etiquette
Call the owner and let him know how you feel! Or, maybe we should set up a fund to buy this ‘poor’ farmer a new flag…
Duescher’s Legendairy Farms
N6388 Longfellow Rd, Algoma, WI 54201
(920) 487-2040
P.S. Here’s an Italian company in Ashwaubenon that gets it!
Stand up to your fear of abandonment
Melody Beattie writes…
Many of us have a fear of abandonment. Some of us let it rule our lives. We’ll do anything just so that person doesn’t walk out and leave us alone.
I spent many years letting fear of abandonment control me. After a while, I finally wore out that belief. I just got sick and tired of worrying about whether I was good enough for that person.
Then a new thought set me free: If you don’t want to be my friend, or my lover, or my employer, I don’t want you in my life.
No more emotional blackmail. No more stress. No more having to second-guess what that other person is feeling.
Are you spending your time worried about someone leaving you? Does your fear of being abandoned leave you feeling like an underdog in your relationships? Let it go. Stand fast. And listen to what I’m about to tell you: If that person doesn’t want to be in your life, just let him or her leave. Do you want someone in your life who really doesn’t want to be there? Of course not. Let him or her go.
Once you adopt this belief, it’s easy to send the bad relationships packing, and the good people want to stay.
God, help me believe that I deserve only the best of relationships.
Source: April 5: Stand Up to Your Fear of Abandonment | Language of Letting Go
Related articles
- Relationships and Fear (whollyhappy.wordpress.com)
- Getting over Fear (plantfueled.wordpress.com)
- From Frozen Feelings to Fear to Freedom (michelewhitney.wordpress.com)
- Go easy (toddlohenry.com)
- Thursday Quote – Melody Beattie (elizaggie.wordpress.com)
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