Just in case you missed this for 5/30/2012

  1. Todd’s tweets…

Rethinking social networking

Let go and let God

Melody Beattie writes:

A friend was experiencing some financial difficulties. He was getting to the point of despair. “I don’t know what to do,” he said.

“Why don’t you ask God?” I said.

“I couldn’t do that. I’ve already asked God too many times to bail me out.”

“I don’t mean ask God to bail you out,” I said. “Ask God to show you what to do.”

“I never thought of that,” he said.

We all have access to the greatest resource in the world. We don’t have to sign up, register, or pay dues. Wherever we are, whatever we’re facing, all we need to do is ask our Higher Power what to do next. Why is it that the simplest things in life can be the hardest things to do?

Application: Got financial problems? Relationship problems? Facing a quandary in life? Stepping into the vast wilderness called the unknown? If we’ve run out of our own answers, it is time to ask for guidance. Or better yet, we can ask for guidance before running out of our own resources. Asking for guidance—for knowledge of God’s Will for us and the power to carry that out—is a good thing to do as needed and each day.” via May 30.

Affirm Yourself…

Cover of "The Language of Letting Go (Haz...

Melody Beattie writes:

Who or what do you want to become? A good parent? A sober, recovering person? A good girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse? Do you want to become happy, peaceful, tolerant? Don’t wait until you’re successful to tell yourself you’re that. Start now by saying you are what you want to become instead of reinforcing the words I’m not. Yes, you have much to learn. Yes, there’s a ways to go on that path. And you may not be proficient at it, or an expert, yet. But you don’t have to be to say those two little words I am.

Help create the new part of your personality by using and affirming those powerful words I am. Then watch as a new part of yourself emerges.

God, help me use my creative powers to create a better, more fulfill­ing life. Help me use the words I am to create who you and I want me to be…

via April 23: Affirm Yourself | Language of Letting Go.

Are You Making Someone Else Your Higher Power?

Mastin Kipp writes:

A definition of interdependence is: “a reciprocal relation between interdependent entities.”

The key word here is: “reciprocal”. Interdependence can be thought of as a relationship where each party gives and receives from his or her own internal overflow. This is TOTALLY different than “codependence” which can be thought of as being “addicted to someone”.

Another way to look at it, spiritually, is this:

A codependent person makes someone else his or her Higher Power. An interdependent person knows that The Uni-verse is their Higher Power and keeps their focus on that, while choosing to be in a relationship with someone else who is also looking to The Uni-verse to fulfill them.” Get more here: Are You Making Someone Else Your Higher Power?.

If any of this gives you pause to think, you might want to take a look at Melody Beattie‘s book Codependent No More — it’s full of pratical thoughts, tools and tactics for taking codependency head on. You can download a free sample here. I first became aware of this issue in my life about a year ago but this book, the accompanying workbook and her meditation book “Language of Letting Go” have been helpful to me in overcoming codependency and having better relationships…

On being connected…

LOL. ‘Make me one with everything’…

What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot-dog vendor? Can you make me one with everything?

I was buckling my seat belt in the little Cessna one day, get­ting ready for flight training, when my instructor Rob turned to me.

“I just take a second when I strap myself in and tell myself I’m becoming one with the plane as I do,” Rob said. “It really helped me in the beginning when I was nervous and felt so separate from the airplane.”

What a great idea, I thought. That day turned into one of my most comfortable flying sessions. It reminded me of a lesson I had learned a while back.

For most of my life, I felt disconnected from things: from myself, from other people, from life. That feeling of separate­ness haunted me. It explains why I tried so desperately to attach myself codependently to people, places, and things.

Over the years, I began to see that my separateness was an illusion. The same energy, the same life force, that runs through all the universe runs through you and me, too.

We’re connected, whether we know it or not.

Nobody has to make you one with everything. You already are.

Let go of your illusion of separateness.

Connect yourself.

God, help me know my oneness with the world. Help me know how connected I really am so I don’t have to connect in ways that don’t work.

via April 15: Connect Yourself | Language of Letting Go.

Something else I like about Melody Beattie — she’s a pilot, or at least a student pilot…

Be the Hero of Your Own Life

“Many of us look outside of ourselves for our heroes, our inspiration. But what does it look like to look inwards…and discover the hero that’s been there all along.” Be the Hero of Your Own Life via Be the Hero of Your Own Life « Positively Positive.

Twenty years from now…

Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain via Quote of the Day.

Just in case you missed this for 5/29/2012

  1. “I really, deeply believe that dreams do come true. Often, they might not come when you want them. They come in their own time.”

    – Diana Ross

  2. Todd’s tweets…

Letting Go of Self Doubt

Melody Beattie writes:

A married woman who had recently joined Al-Anon called me one afternoon. She worked part-time as a registered nurse, had assumed all the responsibilities for raising her two children, and did all the household chores, including repairs and finances. “I want to separate from my husband,” she sobbed. “I can’t stand him or his abuse any longer. But tell me, please tell me,” she said, “do you think I can take care of myself?” Codependent No More

Not only is it okay to take care of ourselves, we can take good care of ourselves.

Many of us, so confident about our ability to take care of others, doubt our inherent strength to care for ourselves. We may have come to believe, from our past or present circumstances, that we need to take care of others and we need others to take care of us. This is the ultimate codependent belief.

No matter where this self-defeating belief was born, we can release it and replace it with a better one, a healthier one, a more accurate one.

We can take care of ourselves — whether we are in or out of a relationship. Everything we need will be provided. We will have loved ones, friends, and our Higher Power to help.

Knowing that we can take care of ourselves doesn’t mean we won’t have feelings of fear, discomfort, doubt, anger, and fragility at times. It means we practice “courageous vulnerability,” as Colette Dowling called it in Cinderella Complex. We may feel scared, but we do it anyway.

Today, God, help me know how I can take care of myself.” via Daily Meditation ~ Letting Go of Self Doubt – Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group.

What you think of you…

notsalmon via What you think of you….

Because life is speedily short…

notsalmon via Because life is speedily short….

Nothing more than phenomenal?

A toilet with the potentially dangerous arrang...

Actually, it’s nothing LESS than phenomenal, but you’ll get the drift if you listen to this special audio post:

One Day at a Time

“One day at a time–this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.” via One Day at a Time – Single Parents – Families.com.

I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday while weeding in the garden. My wife and I were talking about taking things one day at a time. I told her that while she was in Italy, sometimes it was all I could do to live second to second, minute to minute, hour to hour let alone a day at a time. The purpose of living one day at a time is to reduce life to bite sized chunks — like the old riddle how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time…

Jesus said ‘sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof‘ [I don’t know why I like the King James version of that quote so much, but I do]. The epiphany for me was that this not only applies to looking forward, but also looking back. Sometimes I can’t bear up under the future OR the past but I don’t have to. I can live one moment at a time when things get overwhelming!

The Apostle Paul said in Philippians chapter 3:”12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

I forget what is behind and I strain toward what is ahead one day at a time…

How to be happy: Perspective is Everything

Alltop Organic RSS via How to be happy: Perspective is Everything by Rory Sutherland. Click to watch a great TED talk…

Choices

Melody Beattie says:

“We have choices, more choices than we let ourselves see. We may feel trapped in our relationships, our jobs, our life. We may feel locked into behaviors — such as caretaking or controlling. Feeling trapped is a symptom of codependency.

When we hear ourselves say, “I have to take care of this person…”, “I have to say yes….” ,”I have to try to control that person…”, “I have to behave this way, think this way, feel this way…” we can know we are choosing not to see choices.

That sense of being trapped is an illusion. We are not controlled by circumstances, our past, the expectations of others or our unhealthy expectations for ourselves. We can choose what feels right for us, without guilt. We have options.

Recovery is not about behaving perfectly or according to anyone else’s rules. More than anything else; recovery is about knowing we have choices and giving ourselves the freedom to choose.” via Inspiration.

Parenting Fails: Wine-y Child

Out of the mouths of babes! Epic Fail Funny Videos and Funny Pictures via Parenting Fails: Wine-y Child.

Happy Is As Happy Does: Make Your Own Joy in Life

“Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.” Benjamin Disraeli

I used to get paralyzed with fear in the face of any load of work.

Suffering from crippling depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, and severely low self-esteem, I’d find so many thoughts battling me, making it hard to take action:

What’s the point of starting if you know you won’t finish?

You’re just going to waste your time putting in all that effort when you get rejected at the end.

Think about how much time that’s going to take! What if it’s all for naught? How stupid will you feel?!

I know many people who don’t suffer from depression and, yet, still struggle with those same thoughts. It drives them to procrastination and anxiety, and may even keep them from achieving any of their dreams!

I have changed a lot since those voices ruled my headspace, and have since learned this:

The key to a happy life is taking responsibility to make it. Get more here: Happy Is As Happy Does: Make Your Own Joy in Life | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In.

Music and emotion through time

Michael Tilson Thomas: Music and emotion through time | Video on TED.com.

This TED talk from Michael Tilson Thomas made me think again about something I think about all the time and that is how the availability of any music on demand makes this a great time to live. Sure, clean air and clean water and an abundant supply of food is great, but music? MUSIC? I can listen to anything I want on my Google Nexus S via Spotify anywhere at any time and that never ceases to amaze me and I am grateful for the wide variety of music that is available to me…

The Gothic east end of Cologne Cathedral repre...
The Gothic east end of Cologne Cathedral represents the extreme of verticality. (nave, dating to the 19th century). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In May of 2005, I was blessed to attend a high mass in the Cologne Cathedral in Cologne, Germany. The sun streaming through the stained glass, the incense, and the music, ah, the music — an all Mozart mass — I tried hard to imagine what an incredible experience that would have been in the 19th century when music was in short supply but with 5,000 songs on my iPod, it was hard to do!

I have very eclectic tastes in music; thanks to services like Pandora, I continue to get exposed to a wide variety of music. Just last night I found ‘Relaxation Radio’ and ‘Calm Meditation Radio’ channels on Pandora — great background music for massage. :-D

Before I sign off to go pick weeds in the garden, here’s another TED talk from one of my favorite musicians, David Byrne

Just in case you missed it for 5/27/12

  1. Todd’s tweets…

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