Category: Wisdom

The Key To Healing It Is Feeling It; Embrace All Your Feelings As A Gift!

The challenge with curation is often finding the best 3 paragraphs to share. Kute Blackson’s post is so good today that I just grabbed the whole think. Sorry, Kute – hope you don’t mind…

All of your feelings are a gift.

Yet we often judge feelings as good or bad. We often try to eliminate the bad ones and feel only the good ones. However, in doing so, you end up disconnecting from the full range of your heart, self-expression and power.

To the degree that you suppress what you might think of as the negative feelings is to the degree that you also disconnect from your capacity to fully experience the positive feelings.

Ultimately, there are no good or bad feelings. Feelings are just energy moving through your body. Every feeling is a signal, which if you pay attention to will point you in the direction of something that you actually need to deal with, a part of you that needs loving compassion or needs to be released. Even the feelings you label as bad are simply a signal. They are like a fire alarm trying to get you to pay attention to a part of yourself. If you don’t listen, the signal gets louder and louder until you do. If you keep suppressing, the feelings end up coming out anyway most likely in a not so gracious way (AKA -You lose it, or have a meltdown and explode)!

When you suppress your authentic feelings, those feelings simply remain incomplete buried deep within you. You often end up recreating situations and relationships in your life based on those old incomplete feelings, as there is a deep impulse within us to complete what is incomplete.

What you might call “bad” feelings show you the parts of yourself that need your love and healing. Healing is applying love to the parts of yourself that are hurting. When you hold a space of compassion for yourself and the full range of your feelings without any judgment, this compassion has a transformative effect.

As children we learn to disconnect from our authentic feelings. We disconnect as a way to avoid pain, hurt, rejection, shame etc.  And it becomes a survival mechanism in order to function and protect ourselves.  That way of being may have “worked” for us as children to survive, but take this way of being into our adulthood and end up recreating those same incomplete childhood patterns over and over, it only creates suffering.

What feelings are you suppressing?

What feelings are you disconnecting from?

What feelings are you afraid of feeling and acknowledging within your self?

Take an honest look.

The feelings that you suppress, or are unwilling to acknowledge and embrace, will run you!

The feelings that you are unable to have will end up having you.

When you suppress your real feelings, whether anger, sadness or hurt – over time, you might end up finding yourself feeling depressed, heavy, irritated and lacking aliveness. The heaviness is a sign that you are suppressing and ends up clouding your ability to now feel joy in the present moment.

No feelings last forever. But we are sometimes afraid to feel the feelings we think are bad because we are worried we will stay stuck there. Know this: all feelings pass. None are permanent. To the degree you can feel them, you will let them go and feel more alive.

So do not resist the negative feelings, feel them fully with total awareness whilst connecting to the sensations in your body. They will move through you and dissolve.

Similarly, no positive feelings will last forever either. So when you feel a positive feeling, simply feel it fully with total awareness, without trying to make it stay, and you might find yourself experiencing it longer. What often happens is in an effort to keep the “good” feelings we try to make it stay, which creates a contraction. In doing so we start to lose the positive feeling even more quickly!

When you are willing to embrace and love the dark in you, you are then able to more fully embrace your light. However, let me be clear, it is NOT about wallowing in your negativity and dark feelings using that as an excuse. Feeling authentically isn’t wallowing or indulging. It is simply about acknowledging and integrating what your feelings have to share with you and allowing them to move through you in a healthy way.

Ultimately you are not your feelings, whether good or bad. You are beyond them all. Your relationship with your feelings is as important as the feelings themselves. No need to be afraid or run away from them.

Your feelings are a portal into a deeper dimension of yourself and thus a deeper dimension of your own Divinity and freedom.

Your feelings are a gift. Sometimes you just need to patiently unwrap them, so you can find the important message inside.

When you feel it, you heal it.

And when you heal it, you can be more of the real you that you are meant to be.

It is time.

Love. Now.

Source: The Key To Healing It Is Feeling It…Embrace All Your Feelings As A Gift!

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Disappointed Someone? It’s Okay. Get Over It.

“When we are the one responsible behind disappointment, we find ourselves poked by both ends of a double-edged sword – on the one side wounded by disappointment in ourselves, and the other traumatized with guilt towards the party affected.

But like toothaches and awkward puberty, we have to accept the fact that we are all bound to the possibility of disappointment, be it by ourselves, family, friends or co-workers; or by circumstances beyond our control, such as bad timing or a chain of events that eventually domino-crumble down our path.

Disappointment is an essential part of our growth and self-discovery, and despite being uncomfortable and hurtful, teaches us to trust ourselves, recognize our strengths and weaknesses, and let go of our hold on perfection.

By actively avoiding disappointment onto others, sometimes we set ourselves up for more failure and pain instead of less, or none at all.

We understand that like people, disappointment comes in many different shapes and sizes. While we don’t reproach the remorse that comes with our wrongdoing (hey, that’s a sign of empathy, right?), we’re definitely not down with the idea of indulging in continuous self-pity over a missed deadline or a forgotten detail.

So here are some tips you can apply in your personal or work life on how to overcome the emotional self-flagellation that comes with having disappointed someone.” Get more here: Disappointed Someone? It’s Okay. Get Over It..

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Hanging on to Old Relationships

More Melody Beattie:

“We want to travel baggage-free on this journey. It makes the trip easier.

Some of the baggage we can let go of is lingering feelings and unfinished business with past relationships: anger; resentments; feelings of victimization, hurt, or longing.

If we have not put closure on a relationship, if we cannot walk away in peace, we have not yet learned our lesson. That may mean we will have to have another go-around with that lesson before we are ready to move on.

We may want to do a Fourth Step (a written inventory of our relationships) and a Fifth Step (an admission of our wrongs). What feelings did we leave with in a particular relationship? Are we still carrying those feelings around? Do we want the heaviness and impact of that baggage on our behavior today?

Are we still feeling victimized, rejected, or bitter about something that happened two, five, ten, or even twenty years ago?

It may be time to let it go. It may be time to open ourselves to the true lesson from that experience. It may be time to put past relationships to rest, so we are free to go on to new, more rewarding experiences.

We can choose to live in the past, or we can choose to finish our old business from the past and open ourselves to the beauty of today.

Let go of your baggage from past relationships.

Today, I will open myself to the cleansing and healing process that will put closure on yesterday and open me to the best today, and tomorrow, has to offer in my relationships.” Source: Hanging on to Old Relationships

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Intelligence Follows the Wheel

English: Exercise wheel for a small rodent, di...

I ran across some interesting research the other day that I wanted to take a few moments to share here. For years scientists have known that giving mice “enriched” environments makes the mice smarter. They would put in colorful toys, tunnels, exercise wheels, etc. and mice who lived in the “enriched” environments performed better on tests than the mice in the non-enriched cages. Finally some scientists started trying to figure out exactly what it was in the enriched environment’s was making the mice smart.

It turned out it wasn’t the colorful balls or toys. it all came down to the exercise wheel. Even though the mice loved the toys the thing that made them smart was running on the wheel. The intelligence followed the exercise wheel–not the toys.

This has some interesting implications for people who want to perform at their peak mental capabilities. Maybe exercise is the one of the best ways to invest your time in getting smarter.” via Intelligence Follows the Wheel | Productivity501.

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Moving Forward

Melody Beattie writes:

Much as we would like, we cannot bring everyone with us on this journey called recovery. We are not being disloyal by allowing ourselves to move forward. We don’t have to wait for those we love to decide to change as well.
Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to grow, even though the people we love are not ready to change. We may even need to leave people behind in their dysfunction or suffering because we cannot recover for them. We don’t need to suffer with them.
It doesn’t help.
It doesn’t help for us to stay stuck just because someone we love is stuck. The potential for helping others is far greater when we detach, work on ourselves, and stop trying to force others to change with us.
Changing ourselves, allowing ourselves to grow while others seek their own path, is how we have the most beneficial impact on people we love. We’re accountable for ourselves. They’re accountable for themselves. We let them go, and let ourselves grow.

Today, I will affirm that it is my right to grow and change, even though someone I love may not be growing and changing alongside me.

Source: Moving Forward – Language of Letting Go – SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

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How to Release Shame and Love All of You

From the Tiny Buddha blog:

“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” African Proverb.

If you’ve had any experiences where you had to keep your truth quiet, particularly as a child, it’s time to reclaim your truth and value its power. By doing so, you will release energy, old shame, and subconscious blocks that may now be holding you back from living your life to the fullest.

It could be that you had lots of family secrets that your parents made sure you told no one about (which creates shame), or it could be you were bullied and felt unable to confide in anyone about it.

There are many circumstances where we have our truth kept locked in, and unintentionally we create shame around our truths. If you feel unable to speak your truth, then you feel shame. It’s nature’s law.

When we become shameful of our truths, we end up cutting off, discrediting, and devaluing a hugely important chunk of who we are and how we show up in the world.” Get more here: How to Release Shame and Love All of You | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In.

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3 Steps to Embrace Being Confronted

It’s never fun or easy being confronted. For many, our instinct is to deny, defend, or deflect what is being put before us. At Fierce, we believe confrontation conversations are healthy and can be rewarding.However, it does take skill and practice to ensure the conversation is productive and moving the relationship forward.Below are three tips to help you achieve this.” Get more here: 3 Steps to Embrace Being Confronted- Fierce, Inc. – Fierce Leadership Blog – Fierce, Inc..

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On adversity…

Anderson Layman’s Blog via Carroll and Uchtdorf on adversity………...

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The Freedom of Not Needing To Be Right

Hannah Eagle writes:

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” Friedrich Nietzsche.

Yesterday I drove my mother and father to the VA hospital in Albuquerque for a doctor’s appointment. I had never been to a VA hospital before. I guess I should have expected the numbers of crutches and canes, armless and legless veterans, young and weathered faces alike.

I was personally witnessing the costs endured when humans war against each other.

“Isn’t it odd,” I said to my mother, “that human beings war with each other?”

Why in the world do we do that?

Then I considered the ways in which we war on an interpersonal level. We humans war to varying degrees with our partners, our friends, our bosses, our co-workers, our siblings, our parents—pretty much all in the name of our need to be “right” or the need not to be wrong.

We war over ideas and beliefs that we often have never questioned. These include ideas from our upbringings, our religions, our scars and wounds, and our existential need to identify ourselves in some way.

How early did we lose our childlike wonder? When did we lose that innocent state in which we did not judge others, nor need to be “right”—when we saw the best in everything and everyone, and when it did not matter that someone was Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, atheist, republican, democrat, omnivorous, vegetarian, gay, or of a different race?

When I observe my 10-year-old grandson, he appears to have no tendency to judge other people, not yet anyway. He has no need to diminish others, nor does he feel threatened by them.

Would we, as children, have told lies about someone just because we wanted to win an election? Would we have been dismissive or even cruel to someone because they were of another race or religion? I don’t think so.

As little children we only cared that we were loved. And we were still curious about everything.

Somewhere along the way we lose our innocence and start to judge others. This becomes a primary source of our social anxiety and the undermining of our self-esteem, because if we are judging others. we fear that we are also being judged.

Could we perhaps untangle and re-do ourselves? Could we resist closing ourselves off with dogma or beliefs, prejudice, and rules? Could we allow ourselves the freedom of not knowing and reclaim our curiosity?

A beautiful YouTube called We Love You Iran & Israel, depicts an Israeli man reaching out to Iranian people. He says, “Our countries are talking war. In order to go to war . . . I have to hate you. I don’t hate you. I don’t even know you. No Iranian has ever done me harm. I have only met one Iranian in a museum in Paris. Nice dude.”

Reality is malleable. The reality, which we have imposed upon ourselves or had planted in our heads by others to make us feel safe, is also the reality that keeps us from really appreciating our own humanness and really loving other human beings—those beings who are more like us than we realize, even if we don’t know them.

Source: The Freedom of Not Needing To Be Right | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In

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Snickers doesn’t satisfy!

My buddy Jon Swanson shares this:

I used to argue strongly on behalf of Snickers as a healthy snack. After all, it has peanuts. That makes it healthier than other candy bars like 3 Musketeers that are just fluff.

I was helped in the argument by an ad campaign which affirmed that if you were looking for satisfaction, Snickers was the place to turn. I assume that they were suggesting that it was satisfying primarily for those moments when you are hungry.

What I must acknowledge, however, is that the temporary satisfaction of the hunger pain comes at a nutritional price. There are other options.There are healthier options. But when it’s so easy to go downstairs and get one and there aren’t any of the other options around, you go for the Snickers.

What is more satisfying, I am learning, is being able to buy smaller jeans.

What I am also learning is that I wasn’t just satisfying my hunger. Often, I eat because I don’t want to think. I don’t want to sit still and work through the idea or the tough email or the reflective self-examination or the quiet waiting before God.

I think it’s why God said to Isaiah,

Why spend money on what is not bread,
and your labor on what does not satisfy?
Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,
and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.

That hunger that I think is for Snickers is actually a deeper hunger, in my soul rather than my stomach. I know full well that we need food. Because we are created with taste buds, I’m pretty sure we are designed to enjoy good food well. I also know that I spend money of snacks not good, time on words that don’t feed.

But I am slowly shifting both foods.

Source: I’m gradually learning that Snickers doesn’t satisfy. | 300 words a day

It sounds like Jon and I have been on a similar path these days; learning about the benefits of exercise and healthy eating all over again…

Jon has his exercise bike and I’m using a ‘real’ bike combined with fitness walking and yoga with my wife to exercise. Jon is setting aside Snickers and I’m drinking nothing but water, tea and coffee and working to make live foods more than 75% of my diet most days. Exercising the body satisfies. Eating healthy — most times organic — foods satisfies. We both agree Jesus satisfies…

All this goodness in my life is flowing from Celebrate Recovery and healing within, fighting and sometimes defeating codependency and other unhealthy habits. I used to look for the quick fix — the silver bullet — but now I look for lasting change and it’s driven by a hunger for ‘real food’…

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The Gift of Readiness

Melody Beattie writes:

“Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” Step Six of Al-Anon.

We progress to the Sixth Step by working diligently, to the best of our ability, on the first Five Steps. This work readies us for a change of heart, openness to becoming changed by a Power greater than ourselves – God.

The path to this willingness can be long and hard. Many of us have to struggle with a behavior or feeling before we become ready to let it go. We need to see, over and over again, that the coping device that once protected us is no longer useful.

The defects of character referred to in Step Six are old survival behaviors that once helped us cope with people, life, and ourselves. But now they are getting in our way, and it is time to be willing to have them removed.

Trust in this time. Trust that you are being readied to let go of that which is no longer useful. Trust that a change of heart is being worked out in you.

God, help me become ready to let go of my defects of character. Help me know, in my mind and soul, that I am ready to let go of my self defeating behaviors, the blocks and barriers to my life.” via 6/6 Language of Letting Go – SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information.

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If you’re not the lead dog…

…the view never changes as they say — and sometimes, that’s OK! One of my biggest pleasures in life is watching my wife’s long lean legs as we ride and if she thinks she’s going faster than me, who am I to tell her different… :-D

What’s my point? I’m always thinking. Not always about the right things, but I’m always thinking. Yesterday, taking a bike ride with my wife, it occurred to me that having a healthy relationship is a lot like taking a bike ride with a friend…

Let me take you back a year to the first time I read “Codependent No More”. A friend had suggested I might [and that’s an understatement] suffer from codependency. As I read the book, I realized I was reading about me. I shared the book with my wife and she took her own lessons from it. As we drove to Illinois to celebrate my birthday with family and listening to some of our favorite love songs, we started to realize how deeply codependent so many love songs are and as a result, they affect our perspective of love. Here are some great examples of sappy love songs I’ve listened to for decades [sorry to pick on Bread, but they illustrate my point so well]…

So what’s the answer? For me it’s the analogy of the bicycle ride and this gets back to what I was saying about thinking too much some times and looking for lessons. The thought came upon me that love is less like walking hand in hand sometimes and more like taking a bike ride together. When you ride together, each person is responsible for their own equipment [oil your chain, inflate your tires, select your own gear] and their own ‘balance’ — you have to make sure you don’t fall off your own bike! You can’t hold up your partner and ride at the same time…

When my wife and I ride, we choose a general route or direction, but I can’t pedal her bike for her. We each have a different strategy for hills, etc. — sometimes I like to kick them in the butt by charging breathlessly up them; sometimes I drop into first gear and crawl up them — but the point is I have to drag my own butt up the hill and she has to get up there by herself. I do my work, she does hers and when you get to the top of the hill and pull out the water bottle it’s sweet to be together again…

Reading this you now know why I don’t write my own material often but this is a deep lesson for me that I wanted to document for myself…

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Knowledge and Wisdom

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Attack shame!

Melody Beattie writes:

“Shame can hold us back, hold us down, and keep us staring at our feet.” Beyond Codependency

Watch out for shame.

Many systems and people reek of shame.  They are controlled by shame and may want us to play their game with them.  They may be hoping to hook us and control us through shame.

We dont have to fall into their shame.  Instead, we’ll take the good feelings self, acceptance, love, and nurturing.

Compulsive behaviors, sexually addictive behaviors, overeating, chemical abuse, and addictive gambling are shame-based behaviors.  If we participate in them, we will feel ashamed.  Its inevitable.  We need to watch out for addictive and other compulsive behaviors because those will immerse us in shame.

Our past, and the brainwashing we may have had that imposed original shame upon us, may try to put shame on us.  This can happen when were all alone, walking through the grocery store or just quietly going about living our life.  Dont think.  Dont feel.  Dont grow or change.  Dont be alive.  Dont live life.  Be ashamed!

Be done with shame.  Attack shame.  Go to war with it.  Learn to recognize it and avoid it like the plague.

Today, I will deliberately refuse to get caught up in the shame floating around in the world.  If I cannot resist it, I will feel it, accept it, then be done with it as quickly as possible.  God, help me know that its OK to love myself and help me refuse to submit to shame.  If I get off course, help me learn to change shame into guilt, correct the behavior, and move forward with my life in immediate self-love.” via Adult Children Anonymous.

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Honesty

Melody Beattie writes:

“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” Step Five of Al Anon

Talking openly and honestly to another person about our­selves, in an attitude that reflects self-responsibility, is critical to recovery.

It’s important to admit what we have done wrong to others and to ourselves. Verbalize our beliefs and our behaviors. Get our resentments and fears out in the open.

That’s how we release our pain. That’s how we release old beliefs and feelings. That’s how we are set free. The more clear and specific we can be with our Higher Power, our­selves, and another person, the more quickly we will experience that freedom.

Step Five is an important part of the recovery process. For those of us who have learned to keep secrets from ourselves and others, it is not just a step — it is a leap toward becom­ing healthy.

Today I will remember that it’s okay to talk about the issues that bother me. It is by sharing my issues that I will grow beyond them. I will also remember that it’s okay to be selective about those in whom I confide. I can trust my instincts and choose someone who will not use my disclosures against me, and who will give me healthy feedback.” via June 5: Honesty.

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For the Next 24 Hours…

Melody Beattie writes:

For the next twenty-four hours…

In recovery, we live life one day at a time, an idea requiring an enormous amount of faith. We refuse to look back—unless healing from the past is part of today’s work. We look ahead only to make plans. We focus on this day’s activity, living it to the best of our ability. If we do that long enough, we’ll have enough connected days of healthy living to make something valuable of our life.

…I pray for knowledge of Your will for me only,…

We surrender to God’s will. We stop trying to control, and we settle for a life that is manageable. We trust our Higher Power’s will for us—that it’s good, generous, and with direction. We’re learning, through trial and error, to separate our will from God’s will. We’re learning that God’s will is not offensive. We’ve learned that sometimes there’s a difference between what others want us to do and God’s will. We’re also learning that God did not intend for us to be codependent, to be martyrs, to control or caretake. We’re learning to trust ourselves.

…and the power to carry that through.

Some of recovery is accepting powerlessness. An important part of recovery is claiming the power to take care of ourselves. Sometimes, we need to do things that are frightening or painful. Sometimes, we need to step out, step back, or step forward. We need to call on the help of a Power greater than ourselves to do that. We will never be called upon to do anything that we won’t be empowered to do.

Today, I can call upon an energizing Power Source to help me. That Power is God. I will ask for what I need.

Beattie, Melody (2009-12-15). The Language of Letting Go (Hazelden Meditation Series) (pp. 122-123). Hazelden. Kindle Edition.

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Letting Go of Being Right

Happy

“How many times have you heard the question, “would you rather be right, or happy?”

It’s always made me a little nuts. Because quite frankly, most times I say, “right, please.” I’ve recently had a change of heart in this matter and hope you will oblige me in exploring the idea of choosing happiness.

Isn’t that funny, I actually have to try to choose happiness.

I used to believe that “right” was an irrefutable fact, thereby making everything and everyone else “wrong.” It seemed to me that “happy” went hand-in-hand with “ignorance is bliss,” and I was not about to wear the dunce cap. So, with my talons firmly embedded in whatever position or idea I was holding, I stood my ground.

In hindsight, I can see that I was simply engaged in black-and-white thinking.

I often encourage my clients in psychotherapy to try to live in the gray. There are a million shades of gray on the spectrum of white to black, and each provides a much richer telling of a story that is hardly ever as clear as this or that. So, when I looked a bit more closely, I saw that “right vs. happy” wasn’t so much about getting crowned the winner or loser, a genius or fool; it was more about my flawed thinking and my desire to feel like I was in control. Yes, that illusion that so many of us want to sink our talons into: Control.

As I reframe the debate of “right vs. happy” to “the illusion of control vs. acceptance / surrender / taking it all a little less seriously,” I can start to see the value in choosing the latter.

Ken Wilber said, “Sometimes you need to allow things to hurt you more, but bother you less.”

Let’s unpack that a little. Why would we want to choose “hurt?” Well, if we are letting go of being right, hurt might mean that we have to grieve. Maybe it’s grieving the idea that we have control and facing our vulnerability. Maybe it’s grieving the dream that never had a chance to be, our attachment to it, and all that we thought it would afford. In this case, we weren’t actually right in the moment, we wanted to eventually be right. It was more of an, “I’ll show you” kind of right.

When we engage in the grieving process—in letting go, the loss no longer has such a tight grip. We can move into the cyclical process of death and rebirth. We can open up to new ideas and experiences. Once this occurs, we are certainly “bothered less.” The unmetabolized grief isn’t gnawing on you like a monkey on your back, and you’re not working so hard to deny its existence. You’ve faced it, taken away its power, and given yourself some choices. And at this point, you are probably a little more “happy.”

Let’s take a moment to define happy in this context. I’m not talking about winning-the-lottery happy, or people-doing-what-you-want-them–to-do happy. Those are external things that we can’t do much about. I’m talking about acceptance happy—where we aren’t in opposition to our own lives. I’m talking about contentment happy. I know, it’s not as flashy as winning the lottery, but trust me, it’s much more attainable and sustainable.

So, the next time your talons are firmly embedded in the position you are holding, see how much grief it is causing you and consider letting it go. Think of it as a social experiment. Perhaps you’ll start with something small, like where to meet your friend for lunch. You may know for certain that the best deli is on the corner of Smith Street, but do you really want to argue that point? I imagine that connecting with a friend about what really matters is much more enjoyable, and far more important.

And when it comes to the bigger stuff, know that you are not alone in having a hard time letting go. We all struggle in this regard. Perhaps you can start with a simple intention to do it differently, knowing that is enough to start the process of moving towards less rigidity, more flow, and ultimately more “happy.” via A Million Shades of Gray: Letting Go of Being Right « Positively Positive.

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Perfection

Melody Beattie writes:

Many of us picked on ourselves unmercifully before recov­ery. We may also have a tendency to pick on ourselves after we begin recovery.

“If I was really recovering, I wouldn’t be doing that again…:’ “I should be further along than I am:’ These are statements that we indulge in when were feeling shame. We don’t need to treat ourselves that way. There is no benefit.

Remember, shame blocks us. But self-love and acceptance enable us to grow and change. If we truly have done some­thing we feel guilty about, we can correct it with an amend and an attitude of self-acceptance and love.

Even if we slip back to our old, codependent ways of think­ing, feeling, and behaving, we do not need to be ashamed. We all regress from time to time. That’s how we learn and grow. Relapse, or recycling, is an important and necessary part of recovery. And the way out of recycling is not by sham­ing ourselves. That leads us deeper into codependency.

Much pain comes from trying to be perfect. Perfection is impossible unless we think of it in a new way: Perfection is being who and where we are today; it’s accepting and lov­ing ourselves just as we are. We are each right where we need to be in our recovery.

Today, I will love and accept myself for who I am and where I am in my recovery process. I am right where I need to be to get to where I’m going tomorrow.” via June 2: Perfection | Language of Letting Go.

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Don’t Look Back In Anger!

The Daily Love via Visual Inspiration: Don’t Look Back In Anger!.

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The Accidental Asshole

The Accidental Asshole: Pinpoint How You're Annoying People and Do Something About It

Pinpoint How You’re Annoying People and Do Something About It!

We all have our pet peeves. But have you ever wondered about the annoying things you do that your friends, family, and strangers are too polite to tell you about? I do, and I decided to do something about it.

It’s easy to talk about self improvement, but in reality we’re not that adept at seeing our own faults. The problem is that most people aren’t going to tell you when you’re doing something wrong until it gets to a point where they don’t want to hang around you anymore. I’m the type who’s easily annoyed, so I assume most of my friends and family are as well. It’s also no secret that humans as a race have a lot of pet peeves, whether it’s at the office, on a mobile phone, or in a restaurant.

To find out how I may be annoying the people around me, I wanted to open up a dialogue where friends and strangers could give me a performance review to help me pinpoint when I’m being an asshole and actually do something about it. Here’s how I did it, and how you can do the same.” Get more here: The Accidental Asshole: Pinpoint How You’re Annoying People and Do Something About It.

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Happiness Tip

notsalmon via Happiness Tips via Bhutan and Bentham.

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