Category: Wisdom

4 Ways to Declutter and Draw the Meditative Space Back Into Your Life

Many of us have calm meditative spaces we retreat to whenever possible. Some may take a little effort to reach like a mountain top, the edge of a canyon, or the center of a field of flowers. Others are closer to home like a harbor view, seat in the garden surrounded by nature, or on the rooftop under the stars.

These places are meant for escape and recharging yet it very often occurs that when we return back to our usual domains we’re drained almost immediately after walking through the door. Why? The claws of clutter or variations of it have us in a hold.

Clutter develops quickly, especially when there’s little time in our routine to keep things organized. It can also be a result of past accumulations from childhood that are stuffed in a loft, attic or basement but still have a knack for taking over homes. The good thing is even when the situation feels overwhelming it’s still possible to make a change.

The key is simply making an effort to sift through everything by taking out sentimental tchotchkes and other belongings that haven’t been looked at for years and distinguishing between what is and what isn’t expendable.

If this sounds easier said than done don’t fret. The following are a few mental exercises to keep in mind to help you through the process and hopefully draw the meditative space back into your life.” Get more here: 4 Ways to Declutter and Draw the Meditative Space Back Into Your Life.

0

Birthdays

Kute Blackson writes:

Everyday is your birthday.

Each day a new day filled with a blank slate of possibilities for you to create.

Each day a new day filled with opportunity where something new can be birthed out of your creative imagination.

Just because you made your bed in the past does not mean you have to lie in it in your present or your future. At any moment, if you decide, you can unmake the bed you made in the past and remake your bed in the present.

This moment is an invitation to make a new choice. You can start with the choice to choose again in this moment. Once you give that up you are powerless.

The past is gone. Wallowing in it just keeps you stuck, preventing you from moving forward. It robs you of vital energy with which to create your future.

What happened happened. You cannot change the past. What you can change is the meaning you give it and focus on the present which will alter the course in your future.

Mistakes are a part of life. They are simply the price you paid to learn life’s lessons. Just make sure you get the lesson and move forward. The more time you spend holding onto what was not, the less time you have available to create what can be.

Wasting your present wallowing about the past is like going through the toilet after you use it and crying about yesterday’s meal. (You get my point.)

The past has as much power over you as you give it. Learn from the past but don’t live in it. If you live in it, you miss today and the past will live you and keep recreating over and over and over and over and…… OVER!

So declare today your birthday, too. A new day. The day you will be born anew. It’s never too late to begin again. It’s never too late to follow your dreams.  It’s only too late if you decide it is.  What matters is now. Forgive yourself. This is a great gift you can GIVE yourself.

So celebrate my birthday with me today as a new beginning for yourself also.

Let go of what no longer serves you so that you can step fully into who you were born to be.” via It’s My Birthday!!! WOOT! WOOT! And I Made A Special Video For YOU!!!!.

0

Couples 911 – LaShelle’s Top 3 Tips for Couples

Taylor Duvall shares this:

I have followed CNVC Trainer LaShelle Lowe-Charde for years now and feel so grateful for learning how I typically ‘react’ in my long term relationships and how I can break any habitual pattern.  Her main focus is supporting couples and watch my interview with her on YouTube to hear her top 3 tips:

  • Spend a designated time each day focused on each other.
  • Share even small appreciations as often as possible.
  • Develop a language of feeling and needs to communicate what’s in our heart (what we want) not what’s wrong.

She also shares her relationship saving request and why once we ‘get’ the floor, we tend to go on and on…” via Couples 911 – LaShelle’s Top 3 Tips for Couples | The Center for Nonviolent Communication.

Here are a couple of bonus videos from LaShelle…

0

See Your Imperfect Self As Precious

Leslie Becker-PhelpsLeslie Becker-Phelps writes:

As a therapist, I am often faced with people who struggle with feeling essentially flawed in some way. They are quick to take responsibility for their errors or to blame themselves for problems with friends. And, they experience their struggles, mistakes, and imperfections as proof that they are lesser as a person.

As I listen to them, I know that when they look in the mirror, they do not see the value in them that I see. It is this negative self-perception that is the real source of their torture, not the daily issues that loom so large for them. Being overweight, shy, depressed, or socially awkward may cause them great pain; but I see this pain as a distress that requires caring – not condemnation. Making mistakes at work or becoming upset with your children is just part of life. After all, there’s a reason that “It’s only human” has come to be an expression. No one – and I mean no one – handles everything well all the time. And everyone – and, again, I mean everyone – has things they really struggle with.” Get more here: See Your Imperfect Self As Precious | Psychology Today.

2

Blogging from my parents’ patio…

image

Too nice not to sit outside!

Posted from WordPress for Android

0

Don’t Look Back In Anger!

The Daily Love via Visual Inspiration: Don’t Look Back In Anger!.

0

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today

BrainyQuote via Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today. – Mark….

2

How to Not Let Words Hurt You

The echoes of what someone else has said about you keeps repeating over and over in your head. You can’t seem to shut it out.The worst part is, it has made you upset or extremely angered by that person who said those mean things about you. That’s all you feel and think about all day. Your day is ruined. Has this ever happened to you?” Get the answer here: How to Not Let Words Hurt You.

2

Is Your Life “Bucket” Leaking?

A plastic yellow bucket.

“Each of has a psychological “bucket.”

It’s our inner reservoir of positive energy that enables us to engage other people with good will, kindness, consideration, generosity, care and concern, acceptance, and respect.

And all of our buckets are leaky, to some extent or other.

At those times when our buckets are pretty well topped up, and not leaking very much, we feel good about ourselves and we’re likely to act in ways other people experience as “nourishing” – we help them feel good about themselves.

And when our internal buckets get leaky, we’re more inclined to treat others in ways they experience as “toxic” – we say and do things that cause them to feel offended, insulted, ignored, devalued, disrespected, unappreciated, or unloved.

Most of us manage to keep our buckets fairly well topped up, most of the time. Some days we’re more “up” than others, but over the long run most of us realize the value of expressing this positive energy to those around us.” Get the rest here: Is Your “Bucket” Leaking? | Psychology Today.

2

4 Easy Steps to Deal with Difficult People

“There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.” ~Don Miguel Ruiz

It seemed like a simple task. Please switch my gym membership from gold to silver level. I’m not cancelling, just switching.

That was now the third time I repeated my request, each time a little more calmly and a little more slowly, despite the beginnings of blood boiling feelings.

The person on the other end of the phone could not have been ruder. It was as if I was asking for a kidney instead of a membership change. A harsh tone and harsher words ensued. Why, I still have no idea.

You have undoubtedly met them. You have maybe been one, once or twice.

Why are some people continually difficult to deal with? What makes Joe easy to get along with and John such a struggle? Here are the major reasons and what can be done about it.” via 4 Easy Steps to Deal with Difficult People | Tiny Buddha.

0

Imperfection

Mastin Kipp writes:

“We learn from Tony Robbins that everyone’s core fear is that they are not enough, and that because they aren’t enough, they won’t get Love. And LOVE is the oxygen of the Soul.

This much we know already.

But then I thought about what made me successful and what made so many people I know successful and what I love about my favorite characters. And there was always something in common.

The imperfect person overcomes. It boils down to that.

So I had an “ah-ha!” on the phone with my client and I blurted out, “We become successful by admitting we are not perfect, rather than trying to be perfect and thinking that we’re not enough.”

And I think this about sums it up.” via OK, I just had a MAJOR AHA moment! Check it out!.

0

Success and achievement

English: Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Resized,...

“We fear our highest possibility (as well as our lowest one). We are generally afraid to become that which we can glimpse in our most perfect moments.” Abraham Maslow

In our daily lives, we may dream of success and achievement. We strive and compete in the workplace. We go to meetings and do our part on each Step in the program searching for better lives. When success comes, we are faced with a new problem we could not have expected. It comes as an outcome of some hard work, some good luck, and some help from our friends. It is frightening to have a good thing in our lives and not be in control of it.

We are just as powerless over our successes as we are over the worst of our behaviors. We can only be faithful to our duties and ourselves. The successes, which flow from our work, come and go. Since we can’t nail them down, they may make us feel insecure. Many a man has destroyed his moment of success because he couldn’t stand the powerless feeling. We must return to our program and allow success to rise and fall, as it will.

Today, I turn to my Higher Power for help in accepting success.” via Just For Today Meditations » Daily Recovery Readings – June 28, 2012.

0

When Things Don’t Work

Melody Beattie writes:

Frequently, when faced with a problem, we may attempt to solve it in a particular way. When that way doesn’t work, we may continue trying to solve the problem in that same way.

We may get frustrated, try harder, get more frustrated, and then exert more energy and influence into forcing the same solution that we have already tried and that didn’t work.

That approach makes us crazy. It tends to get us stuck and trapped. It is the stuff that unmanageability is made of.

We can get caught in this same difficult pattern in relationships, in tasks, in any area of our life. We initiate something, it doesn’t work, doesn’t flow, we feel badly, then try the same approach harder, even though it’s not working and flowing.

Sometimes, it’s appropriate not to give up and to try harder. Sometimes, it’s more appropriate to let go, detach, and stop trying so hard.

If it doesn’t work, if it doesn’t flow, maybe life is trying to tell us something. Life is a gentle teacher. She doesn’t always send neon road signs to guide us. Sometimes, the signs are more subtle. Something not working may be a sign!

Let go. If we have become frustrated by repeated efforts that aren’t producing desired results, we may be trying to force ourselves down the wrong path. Sometimes, a different solution is appropriate. Sometimes, a different path opens up. Often, the answer will emerge more clearly in the quietness of letting go than it will in the urgency, frustration, and desperation of pushing harder.

Learn to recognize when something isn’t working or isn’t flowing. Step back and wait for clear guidance.

Today, I will not make myself crazy by repeatedly trying solutions that have proven themselves unsuccessful. If something isn’t working, I will step back and wait for guidance.” via Just For Today Meditations » Daily Recovery Readings – June 28, 2012.

0

8 thoughts while watching trainwrecks

Jon Swanson writes:

(First published July 19, 2011. And here’s the video version).

It happens to all of us. A friend, a family member, a coworker looks like they have picked the wrong track and are heading toward a trainwreck. Not physically, probably, but emotionally, spiritually, or relationally. I probably hear about more of these than many people because I’m one of the people that people talk to: “Jon, you’re a (social media) chaplain/pastor. You’ll know what to do. How do I stop them from wrecking everything?”

1. Maybe you are missing something. Probably not, but consider the possibility.

2. TV Movie endings are only in TV movies. If you want an intervention to always end with “How could I have been so foolish, I’m sorry, you were right,” you are going to be disappointed. Every time.

3. Humans almost always choose the short-term over the long-term. Even when the short-term looks painful, it’s because it is easier than the real hard work that would bring about long-term change.

4. Remorse and repentance aren’t the same thing. One is about getting caught. The other is about getting right. The first will only lead to avoidance. The second may lead to change.

5. Yelling almost never works. It just makes fingers go into ears.

6. Sin is fun like antifreeze is sweet. Both are delightful for the short term. And then kill you.

7. Self-destruction often isn’t evident to the self being destroyed. What looks obvious from the outside looks very different from the inside. Of course, the outside view can often see further down the track.

8. Consequence pain is often a good alarm clock. Sometimes people sleep through gentle warnings.

I know it hurts to watch. And you want to help. But sometimes the best help is to be around after the wreck. And to ask God for wisdom and clarity and the right words.

That’s what I do anyway.” via 8 thoughts while watching trainwrecks (from the archives).

1

Make today YOUR independence day

Mastin Kipp writes:

“Let today be the day that you declare to yourself that you have inalienable rights and have the courage to stand up to those in your life who convince you otherwise. If any of your relationships do not promote your right to “Life, liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”, do what we did in 1776 and draw a boundary. And like the Preamble says, if any relationship becomes destructive, it is your right to abolish it and create new relationships that promote Safety and Happiness.

A single act of defiance in the face of oppression created a whole new country full of new found possibility and freedom. And so it is with you, if you are feeling the need for your own Declaration of Independence, have the courage to stand up for what you need. Who knows what kind of new life and possibilities are out there just waiting for you to claim your right and acknowledge that you deserve a better life? What would of happened if our forefathers hadn’t taken a stand? Where would that of left us?

If you are not in the flow of your happiness, then abundance, freedom, creativity, joy and love cannot be yours. And if you are not in alignment with belief that what you desire for yourself you also desire for others, then these gifts will also evade you.

All beings are created equal and deserve happiness. Claim your right to happiness and let go of trying to control the will others. Give them the space to find what they need and give yourself the room to do the same.

The examples of how to do this are all around you. It’s up to you to claim your own happiness and release others to find this gift for themselves.” Source: Make Today YOUR Independence Day!

0

Musings during a power outage

Jon Swanson writes:

I walk into the bathroom and turn on the electric switch. Nothing happens. For three days nothing has happened. I know the power is out. I still reach for the switch. Habits are strong.

The computer is off. I walk past my office and look at the screen. It’s still off. I still look.

I think often about wanting time to read and to write. With no access to Internet and no power for television, this would be a perfect opportunity. But I can’t sit still. I can’t let what might happen tomorrow simply happen tomorrow.

It is remarkably easy to blame the rough-running of the neighbor’s generator for the rough-running of my thoughts. And then to generate a low-voltage current of blame that wears down my motor.

It is hot, I suppose, but exercise will make me perspire anyway. And might help alleviate the uncertainty about when the power might come on. Instead, I wait for what might happen. I wait for a day, then another.

It seems that my agenda is more driven by the tools that are working than I thought. I could be working and resting, following the daylight, enjoying the restoration than can come from disconnection. Instead, I am feeling disconnected.

I am grateful for what I am learning about ingratitude during this time. We have water. We have hot water. We have a grill. We can even use the stove (if I light it manually). We have a frenchpress for coffee. Our house wasn’t hit by any trees.

I read from Acts on Sunday morning. I realized that the early church never cancelled services because the electricity was out. It was the right choice for our church on Sunday, but I’m thinking a lot about how much I depend on the wrong energy sources.” via Musings during a power outage. | 300 words a day.

Hmmm. We live in a rural area so when our power goes out, we lose our water too making it even harder to be grateful. Still I love Jon’s perspective…

0

Constantly Feel Good About Yourself Using These 3 Steps

It is important that you feel good about yourself. More and more scientific evidence points towards a significant link between how you feel about yourself and your overall health and sense of well-being. Scientists have proven that feelings of inferiority have the capacity to pave the way to illness or disease. On the other hand, if you feel good about yourself, have a positive outlook, and maintain an active involvement in life, you’re more likely to be happy and healthy.

Our emotional state can be affected by a lot of things the environment we are in, the people we are with, the weather, the food we eat, how much sleep we’ve had, and so on. Feeling insecure, incapable and inadequate once in a while is part of being human, what matters is that you are able to make yourself feel better again.

If you feel as if you are currently in a state wherein you need some help on bolstering your feelings of self-worth, here are some ideas that you may find helpful:

Step 1: Reframe your identity

If you were asked to describe yourself, what would you say? What be the first adjectives that you would come out with? Experts say that a person’s self-worth can be assessed by the first five words that he would use to answer this question. If you answer with negative adjectives, then you would need to redefine how you think about yourself. Instead of focusing on the shortfalls in your life, bring to mind things that make you special.

For example, instead of branding yourself as a mere office worker, try looking at yourself as a great Mom or a great Dad. Pride yourself on your greatest achievements instead of highlighting flaws.

Step 2: Challenge negative self-talk

As we go about our daily lives, we constantly think about and interpret every situation that we encounter. It’s like we have this voice inside our head that talks us through everything. Psychologists call this inner voice “self-talk.” How this inner voice talks to us is based on our values, beliefs and our conscious and subconscious thoughts. If your self-talk is mostly negative, you will have a very hard time feeling good about yourself.

To correct negative self-talk, you need to learn to notice it as it happens, and consciously dispute and challenge these negative and irrational thoughts. Ask yourself questions like, “Are my thoughts factual?”, “Is this situation as bad as I am making out to be?” or “What can I do that will help me solve the problem?”. Make it a point to conquer self-defeating thoughts with positive and realistic thinking.

Step 3: Take time for yourself

In this world where everyone and everything seems to be in a rush, most of us don’t make ourselves a priority. Often we focus on catering to the needs of others and on being productive. Although it is good to take care of the people you love and fulfill your responsibilities at home and at work, you should not neglect your responsibility and obligation to yourself.

In the same way that you make others feel good when you take care of them, taking care of yourself will also bring about the same feelings. Make it a point that you allocate a certain amount of time each day for yourself to do things you love. Paying attention to yourself has been proven to improve self-esteem and feelings of self worth.

It is impossible for anyone to feel perfectly happy about who he is for their entire life. We are all bound to feel inferior or insecure every once in a while. Fortunately, our thoughts and feelings are not permanent and there are so many ways to love, accept and feel good about ourselves.” via Constantly Feel Good About Yourself Using These 3 Steps.

0

The Treasure Within Your Struggle

Jackie Dumaine wrote something so good I want to share the entire thing with you here:

“We all have them.

Moments of darkness.

Moments where we’re not sure what will come or if we even have the strength to wait.

Moments where we feel lost, confused and unsure of our existence.

What I’ve come to learn in the last few years is that in these moments of darkness, there is wisdom to be found.

Unanswered questions find their home in this space.

Whether it’s related to life, career or love – our deepest wounds and heartaches can be the source of our greatest joy.

“Where there is ruin, there is hope for a treasure.” ~ Rumi

The 8th principle of The Yoga Code is Tapas – and it asks to hold on during the dark hours of life.  To have the faith and the belief that everything that happens has a purpose – but if we give up and let go too soon, we may never discover what that purpose is.

Tapas asks us to gather the strength, courage and self-discipline to carry through. To hold on for another moment until we can see the blessing in each of our struggles.

As a Yoga Inspired Life Coach and Yoga Teacher, I am not immune to the curve balls that life throws us.

I will never pretend to be.

I have moments of intense confusion. There are times when I doubt my Self and my path. My heart aches.

This is what makes me human.  It’s what gives me the ability to relate on a personal level with my students, coaching clients, friends and family.  It’s what makes me real – and it’s what will make you real.

Please don’t discount your struggles and your shadows. Do not hide them behind a medieval shield of protection. Refrain from acquiring the belief that the world is out to get you. You are worthy of abundance, joy and love.

Do you believe that?

Life has a unique way of showing us the faith it has in our ability to shine.

Pretty remarkable, isn’t it?  Trust this.”

via Jackie Dumaine – Blog – The Treasure Within Your Struggle.
3

Do What You Cannot Do!

Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh

“There is no one in the universe more dear to us than ourselves. The mind may travel in a thousand directions, but it will find no one else more beloved. The moment you see how important it is to love yourself, you will stop making others suffer.”

Thich Nhat Hanh. via Today’s Quotes: Do What You Cannot Do!.

0

What Do You Call Yourself?

Are you…

girlfriend, or lover?

husband, or partner?

teacher, or trainer?

leader, or director?

decorator, or designer?

advisor, or counselor?

blogger, or writer?

crafter, or artist?

What you call yourself matters.

Words send signals, labels are magnetic.

Your soul deserves accuracy.” via What Do You Call Yourself?. The Irish say ‘Give a dog a bad name and you can hang him’. Why not give yourself a good name? What you call yourself matters! As the great philosopher Pink so clearly stated:

“You’re so mean when you talk

About yourself. You were wrong.

Change the voices in your head

Make them like you instead.”

via PINK LYRICS – Fuckin’ Perfect.

4

Don’t Should on Yourself

Is expectation keeping you from living your most authentic life?

Our upbringing, the media, our friends, and our selves are all constantly pressuring us for more, better, or different.

“By now, I should ________.”

Many of my patients finish that sentence with:

  • be married
  • have more money
  • have children
  • be happy
  • have better work
  • be having fun
  • be on vacation
  • be retired
  • own a home
  • have no debt
  • feel better

It’s one thing to recognize something as uncomfortable or as going against your desires. It’s an entirely different thing to witness this “bad” thing and then, on top of it, judge yourself for the existence of this “imperfection.” Now, this one weight upon your mind has become two. And this can snowball if you consciously know that you’re judging yourself, and then—you guessed it—you start to judge yourself for judging yourself. Since we’re all striving to feel comfortable in life, why create all this undue pressure?” Get more here: Don’t Should on Yourself « Positively Positive.

0

Start a Blog at WordPress.com.

Up ↑