Jack and the squirrel

In the 5 years we’ve lived on our farm, I’ve never seen a squirrel — predators must keep ’em away — until now. Earlier this summer, our golden retriever Jack was obsessed with the squirrel and couldn’t get him off his mind. In this video, Jack had him treed…

It seems to me that Jack is ‘yelling’ the same thing over and over again, despite the fact that the squirrel is not obeying his doggy commands. To do the same thing and expect different results is insanity, right? Then why do I behave like Jack sometimes? So easy to see stupid behaviors in others isn’t it?

October 15, 2012 1

Sometimes Things Must Change So You Can Change

Full story at: Sometimes Things Must Change So You Can Change « Positively Positive.

October 13, 2012 0

The Negativity Or Positivity

Live Life Quotes, Love Life Quotes, Live Life Happy

via The Negativity Or Positivity.

October 13, 2012 5

A Credo for Your Relationships with Others

Dr. Thomas Gordon wrote this:

You and I are in a relationship which I value and want to keep. We are also two separate persons with our own individual values and needs. So that we will better know and understand what each of us values and needs, let us always be open and honest in our communication. When you are experiencing a problem in your life, I will try to listen with genuine acceptance and understanding in order to help you find your own solutions rather than imposing mine. And I want you to be a listener for me when I need to find solutions to my problems. At those times when your behavior interferes with what I must do to get my own needs met, I will tell you openly and honestly how your behavior affects me, trusting that you respect my needs and feelings enough to try to change the behavior that is unacceptable to me. Also, whenever some behavior of mine is unacceptable to you, I hope you will tell me openly and honestly so I can try to change my behavior. And when we experience conflicts in our relationship, let us agree to resolve each conflict without either of us resorting to the use of power to win at the expense of the other’s losing. I respect your needs, but I also must respect my own. So let us always strive to search for a solution that will be acceptable to both of us. Your needs will be met, and so will mine–neither will lose, both will win. In this way, you can continue to develop as a person through satisfying your needs, and so can I. Thus, ours can be a healthy relationship in which both of us can strive to become what we are capable of being. And we can continue to relate to each other with mutual respect, love and peace.” via A Credo for Your Relationships with Others – Gordon Training International.

This is a work-worthy goal but I am sooooooooo far away from this…

October 12, 2012 0

Do something you love this weekend…

No road bikes or hybrids need apply... — No road bikes or hybrids need apply…

Melody Beattie writes:

“This week, I went scuba diving.” a man told me. “Hadn’t done it for years. I forgot how much doing something I love. even for one afternoon. can change my entire outlook on life.”

It’s easy to tell ourselves we can’t have what we want and can’t do what we want. And sometimes. we can’t. But once in a while. even for an afternoon. it is helpful to treat yourself.

Inventory Focus: How long has it been since you did something you loved? Are you willing to be open to what excites and inspires you? If you can’t do what you love. can you find passion in what you are doing?” Full story at: October 12 | Language of Letting Go.

October 12, 2012 1

The World Needs You to Come Alive

“Don’t ask what the world needs, ask what makes you come alive and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” ~Howard Thurman

Full story at: The World Needs You to Come Alive | Tiny Buddha.

October 11, 2012 0

Go Ahead and Care—It Won’t Break You

“What you do have control over is how you react to what happens in your life.” ~Oprah

Full story at: Go Ahead and Care—It Won’t Break You | Tiny Buddha.

October 11, 2012 2

You’re going to hurt someone

Hannah B. writes:

You’re going to hurt other people.

Even though you don’t want to.

Even though you don’t mean to.

To no fault of your own.

You’re going to hurt someone.

We’re all bumping up against each other with our cravings and sensibilities,

reaching clumsily for fulfillment.

We bond and then unbind.

We stretch our arms to grab more life,

and we give someone a black eye.

Egos get hurt; vows are broken; fires doused.

Becoming whole leaves breakage.

Why does it help to know the inevitability of hurting someone?

It helps to know of this inevitability

so that you don’t retreat when you need to lift off,

so that you choose to leave the house of familiarity

for Morocco, or Broadway, or love.

Or the center of your Soul.

It helps to know how nature works when you are exploring wilderness.”via You’re going to hurt someone..

October 11, 2012 0

Recovery

Melody Beattie offers a simple explanation of codependency, acceptance, faith and recovery:

How easy it is to blame our problems on others. “Look at what he’s doing.” . . . “Look how long I’ve waited.” . . . “Why doesn’t she call?” . . . “If only he’d change then I’d be happy.” . . .

Often, our accusations are justified. We probably are feeling hurt and frustrated. In those moments, we may begin to believe that the solution to our pain and frustration is getting the other person to do what we want, or having the outcome we desire. But these self-defeating illusions put the power and control of our life in other people’s hands. We call this codependency.

The solution to our pain and frustration, however valid is to acknowledge our own feelings. We feel the anger, the grief; then we let go of the feelings and find peace – within ourselves. We know our happiness isn’t controlled by another person, even though we may have convinced ourselves it is. We call this acceptance.

Then we decide that although we’d like our situation to be different, maybe our life is happening this way for a reason. Maybe there is a higher purpose and plan in play, one that’s better than we could have orchestrated. We call this faith.

Then we decide what we need to do, what is within our power to do to take care of ourselves. That’s called recovery.

It’s easy to point our finger at another, but it’s more rewarding to gently point it at ourselves.

Today, I will live with my pain and frustration by dealing with my own feelings.” via Just For Today Meditations – Maintaining A Life.

If you struggle with codependency, I have three resources to recommend. One is to follow this blog via WordPress or Google Reader — I am continually sharing the good thoughts I find on defeating codependency. The two books that follow have been the most valuable resources I have found in my fight…

You can click the images to go to the book’s page on Amazon.com…

October 11, 2012 1

Payoffs from Destructive Relationships

Melody Beattie writes:

Sometimes it helps to understand that we may be receiving a payoff from relationships that cause us distress.

The relationship may be feeding into our helplessness or our martyr role.

Maybe the relationships feeds our need to be needed, enhancing our self-esteem by allowing us to feel in control or morally superior to the other person.

Some of us feel alleviated from financial or other kinds of responsibility by staying in a particular relationship.

“My father sexually abused me when I was a child,” said one woman. “I went on to spend the next twenty years blackmailing him emotionally and financially on this. I could get money from him whenever I wanted, and I never had to take financial responsibility for myself.”

Realizing that we may have gotten a codependent payoff from a relationship is not a cause for shame. It means we are searching out the blocks in ourselves that may be stopping our growth.

We can take responsibility for the part we may have played in keeping ourselves victimized. When we are willing to look honestly and fearlessly at the payoff and let it go, we will find the healing we’ve been seeking. We’ll also be ready to receive the positive, healthy payoffs available in relationships, the payoffs we really want and need.

Today, I will be open to looking at the payoffs I may have received from staying in unhealthy relationships, or from keeping destructive systems operating. I will become ready to let go of my need to stay in unhealthy systems; I am ready to face myself.” via Just For Today Meditations – Maintaining A Life.

And, there are ALWAYS payoffs. They just might not be so obvious…

October 10, 2012 3

Dad, why do leaves change colors?

Short answer? They don’t! Just in case your son or daughter asks you like mine did me…

Visual Loop.

October 7, 2012 2

Wally on opinions…

Dilbert comic strip for 10/07/2012 from the official Dilbert comic strips archive..

October 7, 2012 3

The Magic Pill

Craig Harper shares this thought that I think is worth repeating:

There’s Always… You

There is no magic pill; there’s you

There is no quick-fix; there are better behaviours.

There is no perfect time; there’s… now.

There is no universal best diet; there’s your best diet.

There is no pre-ordained destiny; there’s your life and what you choose to do with it.

Some people won’t like this message because it doesn’t make them feel good. It might not be uplifting or positive enough. One or two might even send me an email asking if I’ve had a bad weekend. I get that. To those people I say, don’t confuse reality with negativity.

In the not-always-credible world of personal development (AKA self help), I’ve long been of the opinion that the back-slapping, high-fiving, you-can-be-anything-you-want-to-be, quick-fix brigade have a lot to answer for. Mostly, because the majority of their motivational-poster (type), feel-good fluff rarely leads to any kind of lasting positive transformation – the common objective of most self-help consumers – out here in the real (three-dimensional) world.

The ‘Rah, Rah’ invariably becomes Blah.

Real change happens when we are more committed to creating practical change over the long term than we are with being comfortable and feeling good in the short term. It’s only then that we begin to tap into our untapped potential and power. The irony of self-help is that many people look for answers everywhere but within.

That is, self.

When all else fails, there’s you.” via The Magic Pill.

And there is no magic pill, silver bullet, or wooden stake. Get over it…

October 7, 2012 2

Top 10 Ways to Make Yourself Look (and Be) Smarter

Full story at: Top 10 Ways to Make Yourself Look (and Be) Smarter.

October 6, 2012 0

Weighing In

Full story at: Weighing In. Why I Can’t Get On The Scale. « The Manifest-Station.

October 5, 2012 2

The Beginner’s Guide to Unschooling

Leo Babauta writes today about a topic that interests me because we homeschool two of our boys…

There’s nothing I get asked about more as a parent than unschooling, and nothing I recommend more to other parents.

It’s an educational philosophy that provides for more freedom than any other learning method, and prepares kids for an uncertain and rapidly changing future better than anything else I know. My wife and I unschool four of our kids, and have been for several years.

And yet, as powerful as I believe unschooling to be, I’ve never written about it, because the truth is, I certainly don’t have all the answers. No one does.

The beauty of unschooling is in the search for the answers. If anyone had all the answers, there would be no search. And so what I’d love to teach unschooling parents and kids is that the search is the joy of it all.

But I’m getting ahead of myself: what is unschooling? Why should you do it? How do you do it? What should you read? We’ll talk about all that today.” Full story at: » The Beginner’s Guide to Unschooling :zenhabits.

There are many reasons to homeschool, but the think that caught my eye in Leo’s post is this: unschooling “prepares kids for an uncertain and rapidly changing future better than anything else I know”…

I work in a career that didn’t exist when I was in college and everything almost all the skills I learned to perform in this career I taught myself. I’m going to drill down on Leo’s post and evaluate what he has to say…

October 5, 2012 6

Stop wasting energy on anger, regret + fear

notsalmon

via Stop wasting energy on anger, regret + fear….

October 4, 2012 4

On the need for approval…

Most of us want to be liked. We want other people to think of us as nice, friendly, kind, and loving. Most of us want the approval of others.

Since childhood, some of us have been trying to get approval, trying to get people to like us and think highly of us. We may be afraid people will leave us if they disapprove of our actions. We may look for approval from people who have none to give. We may not know that we’re lovable now and can learn to approve of ourselves.

In order to live happily, to live consistently with the way our Higher Power wants us to live, and to tap into a way of life that is in harmony with the universe, we need to let go of our extreme need for approval. These unmet needs for approval and love from our past give others control over us today. These needs can prevent us from acting in our best interest and being true to ourselves.

We can approve of ourselves. In the end, that’s the only approval that counts.

Today, I will let go of my need for approval and my need to be liked. I will replace them with a need to like and approve of myself. I will enjoy the surprise I find when I do this. The people who count, including myself, will respect me when I am true to myself.” Just For Today Meditations – Daily Recovery Reading – September 10, 2012.

October 4, 2012 1

Raise your words, not your voice

“Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that… | Simple Reminders.

October 2, 2012 3

A Gentle Passing…

One of my favorite blogs is The Daily Love and since the end of July, they have been posting the journal of Tom Knell, a former firefighter with a terminal illness

Very briefly, I have recently found that I have a life ending illness. To read more of my story, please click here. This is my journal for last few days, which I am sharing with love and in hopes that it will bring further understanding of at least my process and the transitioning process generally to TDL’s Readers.” via A Gentle Passing….

Tom passed this morning and his story is at an end. It has been quite moving to read his posts in Google Reader amidst all the other sites I follow; each one a powerful reminder of the fleeting nature of life and the fact that time is short. You can read the start of the journey here and the end here…