Category: Wisdom

Top 20 TED Talks That Will Improve Your Productivity

Stepcase Lifehack

via Top 20 TED Talks That Will Improve Your Productivity.

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Letting go of difficult people…

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Every morning, I wake up. I make a strong pot of coffee. I drink it while reading 100 or so posts from some of my favorite bloggers. It’s always interesting to me when the messages from different bloggers seem to be in sync and it appears the universe is trying to teach me a lesson. Today is one of those days. First up is Kristin Barton Cuthriell who writes:

A client came to me the other day. She is chronically anger with her mother and has been for years. The anger is poisoning her. It is tearing her apart. She describes herself as nothing but a bitter shell of who she use to be. She is so consumed by her anger that she is shutting out all of the joy in her life (and there is a lot). I shared with her my lesson.

My lesson about life being precious and short- way too short to spend it full of contempt and resentment. The lesson that we learn when we have a near death experience, survive a life threatening illness, or lose a loved one.

Her mother is getting up there in years and is struck with an illness that is taking over her body. “Let go,” I stressed to my client. I moved my chair a little closer, but not too close. I looked my client in the eye, and with extreme passion, but a tone close to a whisper, I said, “It is time to let go. Enjoy the time that you have left with your mother.” My client’s eyes welled with tears, and she nodded yes. She knew, the time had come. The time to let go. The time to rid herself of the poison. The time to stop ruminating about the past. The time to reclaim her life. The time to let life in.

Are you poisoning yourself with resentment? Has the time come to let it go? Only you can really make that decision. Make it well. You deserve the best in life, but it is up to you.” via Letting Go – Kristin Barton Cuthriell.

Full disclosure? Kristin is a client, but I hunted her down because I like her content so much!

Next up is Melody Beattie. I have been starting my days with her book “The Language of Letting Go” for over a year now and I frequently curate her content. Today’s reading was more poignant for me than most:

Few things can make us feel crazier than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give. Few things can frustrate us more than trying to make a person someone he or she isn’t; we feel crazy when we try to pretend that person is someone he or she is not. We may have spent years negotiating with reality concerning particular people from our past and our present. We may have spent years trying to get someone to love us in a certain way, when that person cannot or will not.

It is time to let it go. It is time to let him or her go. That doesn’t mean we can’t love that person anymore. It means that we will feel the immense relief that comes when we stop denying reality and begin accepting. We release that person to be who he or she actually is. We stop trying to make that person be someone he or she is not. We deal with our feelings and walk away from the destructive system.

We learn to love and care differently in a way that takes reality into account.

We enter into a relationship with that person on new terms – taking our needs and ourselves into account. If a person is addicted to alcohol, other drugs, misery, or other people, we let go of his or her addiction; we take our hands off it. We give his or her life back. And we, in the process, are given our life and freedom in return.

We stop letting what we are not getting from that person control us. We take responsibility for our life. We go ahead with the process of loving and taking care of ourselves.

We decide how we want to interact with that person, taking reality and our own best interests into account. We get angry, we feel hurt, but we land in a place of forgiveness. We set him or her free, and we become set free from bondage.

This is the heart of detaching in love.

Today, I will work at detaching in love from troublesome people in my life. I will strive to accept reality in my relationships. I will give myself permission to take care of myself in my relationships, with emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual freedom for both people as my goal.” via Just For Today Meditations » Daily Recovery Readings – December 5, 2012.

Additions? Subtractions? This content is easy for me to share, but hard to implement…

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Mental health test…

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h/t Jaz! Thanks for the belly laugh. Thought about sending this to a few people but I’ll just be content to share it here…

:-D

 

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The Work You Love is Waiting For You

Leo Babauta writes:

When I wake up in the morning, I can’t wait to start writing.

It’s not that I’m productivity-driven, or a workaholic … it’s that I love what I do.

And I’ll tell you a secret to loving what I do: if I think my work will help someone, there’s no better motivator.

I see lots of people, every day, who don’t like the work they’re doing. If I could help a few of them find work they love, it would make my year.

So this is a mini-guide to finding the work you love. Because it’s waiting for you — you just need to find it and go get it.

We’re going to do this in 3 simple steps.

Ready? Let’s go!

via » The Work You Love is Waiting For You :zenhabits.

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Are You a Highly Sensitive Person?

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.” ~Benjamin Spock

Full story at: Are You a Highly Sensitive Person? | Tiny Buddha.

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Marry Yourself: Creating Sacred Vows for Self-Love

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

Full story at: Marry Yourself: Creating Sacred Vows for Self-Love | Tiny Buddha.

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How to Let Go of Grudges

Full story at: How to Let Go of Grudges.

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The Worst Kind of Betrayal

I had never heard of Brené Brown until a few weeks ago when my friend Tim Kastelle referenced her on his blog. Now, she is everywhere in my life – I think the universe is sending me a message. Here is a great post by Lissa Rankin on some of Brené’s thinking:

I was reading my shero Brené Brown’s new book Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead when I reached page fifty-one and my heart stopped in an “OMG, how did she read my mind, and how did she know exactly how to give language to something that’s been hurting for years?” sort of way.

Continue reading “The Worst Kind of Betrayal” →
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Gift Experiences, Not Stuff

By Joshua Fields Millburn:

Experience the holidays

Here’s an idea. What if you decided to gift only experiences this year? How much more memorable would your holidays be?

Experiences worth gifting: concert tickets, a home-cooked meal, tickets to a play or musical, breakfast in bed, a back rub, a foot rub, a full-body massage, a holiday parade, walking or driving somewhere without a plan, spending an evening talking with no distractions, making out under the mistletoe, visiting a festival of lights, cutting down a Christmas tree, watching a sunrise, skiing, snowboarding, sledding, dancing, taking your children to a petting zoo, making snow angels, attending a free meetup with The Minimalists, making a batch of hot apple cider, taking a vacation together, watching a wintertime sunset.

What other experiences could you give to someone you care about?

Your experiences build and strengthen the bond between you and the people you care about.

Don’t you think you’d find more value in these experiences than in material gifts? Don’t you think your loved ones will find more value, too? There’s only one way to find out.

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Rule 12: Live in Alignment

feat-craigharper.pngCraig Harper writes:

“Living in alignment.” Have you heard this expression before? It gets thrown around quite a lot these days and to be honest, it can be one of those cheesey, over-used clichés that gets way too much mileage in an already-cheesey personal development landscape but at the risk of immersing both of us in mozzarella, I thought I’d share what it means to me and how creating and living a life of alignment can transform our day-to-day, multi-dimensional emotional, physical, psychological and practical existence for the better.

So, what does ‘living in alignment’ mean?

“Living in alignment means living a life which is reflective of, and in alignment with, our core values, beliefs and principles.”

Q. What’s the point of living in alignment?
A. Authenticity and happiness.

When our typical choices, behaviours, habits and outcomes are reflective of our core values, then we’re in balance. We’re being true to ourselves. Consciously living a life of alignment produces less stress, less frustration, less misery and even less physical illness. And, therefore, more peace, satisfaction, happiness and health.

Who’s out of alignment?

  • The girl who says she wants to be healthy but continues to smoke.
  • The guy who says he values fidelity but cheats on his partner.
  • The girl who expects loyalty from others but betrays her friends.
  • The guy who criticises others while ignoring his own faults.
  • The minister who doesn’t walk the talk.
  • The speaker who advocates work-life balance while working a million hours each week.
  • The personal trainer who preaches health and self-control during the week while abusing alcohol every weekend.
  • The person who loves nature but never leaves suburbia.
  • The highly-principled employee who turns a blind eye to unethical behaviour in the workplace.
  • Anyone who doesn’t listen to their body.
  • Anyone who ignores their inner wisdom.
  • Anyone who consciously compromises their values.

Sounds good in theory but…

While it all makes sense in theory, sometimes the practical reality of our life situation means that ‘living our values’ twenty-four-seven can be a major challenge. I agree. And that’s okay. Nobody said it would be easy or painless. Everything worthwhile comes at a cost. The question is whether or not we’re prepared to make the necessary investment. Sometimes, the price of alignment is high in the short term but totally worth it over the long haul.

Sometimes, choosing to live our values means taking a backward step in certain areas. It means getting uncomfortable and doing what scares us. It might mean changing, or even ending, certain relationships. It could mean ruffling a few feathers, getting noses out of joint and standing up for what we know is right (for us). Sometimes the right thing is not the easy thing and, sometimes, the only approval we need is our own.

By the way, people-pleasers rarely live in alignment because they are always compromising.

How did I end up here?

Sometimes, we allow certain situations, circumstances, expectations (of others) and relationships to gradually come between us and the life we want to build and inhabit. We don’t do it intentionally or consciously but we do it. Most of us have woken up at some stage of our journey only to say something like “how on earth did I end up in this place (literally or metaphorically)? This wasn’t my plan. This wasn’t my intention. This isn’t who I want to be.”

So, how can you live a life of alignment?

Step 1: Get clear about your core values, beliefs and principles (not anyone else’s, yours).
Step 2: Build a life around those things. No matter what.

Is it easy? Not always.
Possible? Yes.
Worth it? Definitely.

If you liked this article, subscribe to my blog and get a my FREE eBook, click here: I want a FREE eBook. You can also check out My Best Selling Book, and My Best Selling Video (Trailer).

Source: Rule 12: Live in Alignment

By the way, if you want some help on discovering your core values, I strongly recommend this 5 minute video I curated earlier this week…

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Putting our Life on Hold

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The universe has my back! My wife went out of town to spend time with her family and that always leaves me feeling anxious [long, complicated story]. Fortunately, Melody Beattie has some healthy thinking to help me cope:

We cannot afford to put our needs on hold, waiting for another person to fulfill us, make our life better, or come around and be who and what we want that person to be. That will create resentment, hostility, an unhealthy dependency, and a mess to deal with later on.

If we have decided we want a particular relationship or want to wait about making a decision in a particular relationship, then we must go on with our own life in the interim.

That can be hard. It can feel natural to put our life on hold. That is when we get caught up in the codependent beliefs: That person can make me happy… I need that particular person to do a particular thing in order to be happy….

That’s a circumstance that can hook our low self-esteem, our self-doubt, and our tendency to neglect ourselves.

We can get into this situation in a number of ways. We can do this waiting for a letter, waiting for a job, waiting for a person, waiting for an event.

We do not have to put our life on hold. There will be repercussions from doing this. Go on with your life. Take life a day at a time.

What is something I could be doing now to take care of myself, make myself feel better, get my needs met in an appropriate, healthy way?

How can I own my power to take care of myself, despite what the other person is or isn’t doing?

What will happen if I break the system and begin taking care of myself?

Sometimes, we get the answer we want immediately. Sometimes, we wait for a while. Sometimes, things don’t work out exactly the way we hoped. But they always work out for good, and often better than we expected.

And in the meantime, we have manifested love for ourselves by living our own life and taking the control away from others. That always comes back to us tenfold, because when we actually manifest love for ourselves, we give our Higher Power, other people, and the Universe permission to send us the love we want and need. Stopping living our life to make a thing happen doesn’t work. All it does is make us miserable, because we have stopped living our life.

Today, I will force myself, if necessary, to live my own life. I will act in my own best interest, in a way that reflects self-love. If I have given power or control of my life to someone other than myself, and someone besides a Power greater than myself, I will take it back. I will begin acting in my own best interests, even if it feels awkward to do that.

Source: Just For Today Meditations » Daily Recovery Readings – December 2, 2012

One more thing; I don’t think you can be selective on the ‘universe has got my back’ thing. Either it does or it doesn’t. I choose to believe that things are working out for my ultimate good…

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Brené Brown: Listening to shame

Another stunning talk from Brené Brown…

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How to discover your purpose in less than 5 seconds

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{ask gem} on living a fulfilling life

Gemma Stone is one of my favorites. She recently posted this:

I was recently asked to write a piece for this book.  While I was writing this with teens in mind, I’ve learned that many of us {myself included} have an inner teen that could use some lovin’. I’m publishing this piece for anyone with an inner-teen who needs some guidance.

Life isn’t meant to be perfect, and neither are you. There will always be moments of pain, sadness, disappointment, hurt, and struggle. It’s part of the gig. If you tell yourself you’ll be happy when…you lose the weight, you get the job, your parents are cooler, or you friends stop being cruel—you will continue to suffer. All that is real is this moment. Live in it and you’ll suffer less and experience more joy.

And, while we’re on the topic of perfection, there’s nothing wrong with you or your body.

Really.

Please believe me.

That voice in your head that tells you nasty things is lying, and you don’t have to believe it.

We all have issues. The sooner you start dealing with them, the sooner you’ll get to know your true self, figure out what’s right for you, and start living a life you love.

Learn how to heal the past, love the present, and light up the future.

And, be honest with yourself about self-improvement.

Growing into your true self is a beautiful thing, and it feels light and expansive.

Shedding crap that’s weighing you down feels good (though it’s not always comfortable). This is the kinda self-improvement that is good for your soul. Watch out for the trap of self-improvement that is all about changing yourself in order to be “good enough.” It originates from feeling unworthy, unacceptable, and inadequate. It’s an un-fill-able hole, and you can waste your life trying to fill it. It feels desperate & draining, heavy & empty. It’s easy to slip into this pit and hard to scramble out of it. Really, it’s best just to avoid it all together.

Discover what you love and do more of it.

If you think you love drugs, or shopping, or sugar, consider the possibility that you might actually be loving the feeling of soothing pain or numbing heartache. Let yourself feel what you feel, and get some support if you need it.

If you really love sleeping until 2:00 pm, or watching 12 hours of TV, or completing three-day marathons of Halo, consider the possibility that you’re resisting that struggle that can accompany life. What you resist persists. Get out there. Do something that your heart and soul genuinely love.

If you mess up, think of it as an opportunity to make something beautiful.

The worst mistakes I’ve ever made turned out to be the greatest lessons I needed to learn.

Don’t try to always make the “right” choice.

Take action in spite of uncertainty.

Screw up and then open yourself up to the lesson. It’s always there; if you look for it, you will find it. Major mistakes and subsequent self-reflection will teach you who you are, who you’re not, and who you want to be.

Life is not a competition. We’re all in this together. Enough said.

It’s worth the time and effort to take a look inside your heart and know what deeply matters to you. Knowing this will allow you to make decisions that fill you up instead of suck you dry.

The little things end up being the big things. Don’t tell little white lies. Share your smile. Get in a little exercise every day. Don’t sugar-coat your truth. And, while we’re on the topic of sugar, if you cut it out of your life now, you’ll be better off. Really. It’s nasty stuff that messes up your mind and body.

Log off. Of Twitter, of Facebook, of your phone. Get comfy being with yourself. Connect with the healing vibes of nature; bury your hands in the grass and your feet in the sand. You have a limited capacity for connection. If you’re plugged into technology, you’re unplugged from yourself and nature.

Tap into and hold onto your true self. It’s who the world most needs you to be. This ride can be a rough one. Don’t let the darkness extinguish your light.

xo + ox,

via {ask gem} on living a fulfilling life.

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The Power Of Going Slow!

Frequently when I curate Kute Blackson’s content, I don’t know where to cut him off. Today is one of those days! He writes:

Life will soon be over.

Are you making the most of each moment?

Everything in our world today moves so fast.

High speed internet.

Fast food restaurants.

Planes that fly around the world in a matter of hours.

Speed dating.

Yet, are we anymore fulfilled and happy as human beings?

We busily rush around multitasking ten things at once, trying to get somewhere.

Where are we trying to get to so fast?

In our effort to get to some destination, it’s often easy to miss the moment and lose the beauty of the journey.

Now is your destiny.

This moment is full of aliveness that is so easy to miss in an effort to get to that “ideal” destination in the future. The destination being only one small point in time that is over the moment you reach it.

Which is why I think that once we reach the goal we strive so hard to get to, it is not nearly as satisfying as we imagined.

The real joy lies not simply in reaching a special place or moment in the future, but in making each moment SPECIAL along the way, now.

What if there was nowhere to get to?

We often think that once we get “there” everything will change, we will be so happy, and all our problems will go away.

But what if where you were was exactly where you were supposed to be to learn what you needed to learn so that you would be ready to fulfill your Soul’s destiny… and that who you become in the process is more important than the arrival at the destination?

Life is not simply in the one moment of arrival but in the many moments along the way. It is those many moments that make that one moment so sweet.

We often think that getting to the “ideal” place will make us happy, only to get there and think, “Is this it?”

We often busy ourselves and fill our days with so much DOING, which is what is valued in our culture today.

But we must remember: Everything has a cycle and a natural rhythm. Everything has its perfect time. When you try to force things in life to happen faster than they are meant to, things do not flow. The mango has its right time to ripen. The sun and moon have there right time to shine.

When you slow down and trust the rhythm that is life, you experience its magic and synchronicity.

So, sometimes you have to slow down in order to speed up. It’s in the slowing down that you can have clearer perspective. When you are moving so fast, it’s not always easy to integrate, appreciate and let in the fullness of all that is happening around you. When you are moving so fast, it can be hard to really experience the joy of the moment fully.

When you allow yourself to slow down, you allow yourself to breathe. You allow space. Just like breathing is not just an exhale but also an inhale. Life is not just about being in action but in stillness.

When you slow down, you allow the the perfect people, places, situations to fall into place in alignment, so that when you do arrive everything you need is there right on time.

Think about it: There is no use rushing to a fancy restaurant for dinner if they are closed. You need to arrive once they are open. Knowing this, you can learn to enjoy the spaces. Use the spaces to rejuvenate, to re-clarify and prepare for what’s next, so that when what you want arrives at your door step you are ready!

What if there was nowhere to get to other than where you are now?

No special moment in the future.

No special holiday.

Just this moment.

To experience this moment as fully as possible is to be truly alive.

The beauty of this moment is free. It costs nothing other than simply being aware and appreciating it.

The journey is the reward itself.

Breathe.

Slow down.

Take everything in.

Tomorrow can wait.

Now is your only guarantee.

There will never be another moment like…

….THIS.

Source: The Power Of Going Slow!

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45 Characteristics of Healthy Relationships + The Secret to Applying Them

Sometimes, when I start curating content, I don’t know when to stop. In those times, only copying and pasting will suffice! Kristen Barton Cuthriell writes:

Is your relationship healthy?

Relationships take work.  Hard work.  But the rewards to having a fulfilling relationship are MANY.  Are you doing the things necessary to keep your relationship strong?  Could it be stronger?  Look for ways to improve your relationship today and everyday.

Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

  1. You can be your true self with the other.
  2. Communication is spontaneous and open.
  3. There is a balance of closeness and separateness.
  4. You are able to take responsibility for your own behaviors without blaming your partner for your actions. (Get rid of “He/she made me do it.”)
  5. You discuss and negotiate rather than fight.
  6. You feel comfortable sharing your fears and insecurities.
  7. Rules and boundaries are clear, yet flexibility exists.
  8. You don’t lie, but you also refrain from using hurtful language in the name of being brutally honest.  (Don’t say something just to be mean.)
  9. You enjoy doing things for yourself, as well as for the other.
  10. Personal growth is encouraged.
  11. You make it through rough times without splitting up or threatening divorce.
  12. You treat each other the way you would like to be treated.
  13. You have a strong sense of interdependence rather than dependency or co-dependency. (Equality within the relationship)
  14. There is play and humor in the relationship.  You have fun together.
  15. You enjoy being together, but are able to spend time alone.
  16. You do not attempt to control each other.
  17. Each is trustful of the other.
  18. Privacy is respected.
  19. You both refrain from passive-aggressive behavior. (Silent treatment, hanging up phone, being late when the other is waiting)
  20. You forgive each other for mistakes.
  21. You actively listen to the other. (Really hear what the other is saying)
  22. You both are able to apologize. (Even when you do not think you are at fault, you can be sorry that your partner is feeling hurt.)
  23. You avoid mind reading and making assumptions.  When upset you both seek clarity.
  24. You are able to validate each other- even when you disagree. (You recognize that the opinions and feelings of the other are important.)
  25. There is a balance in giving and receiving.
  26. Conflict is faced and resolved.  Avoid allowing resentment to take hold.
  27. Negotiations are fair and compromise is present.  Create win-win resolutions.
  28. Mistakes are accepted and lessons are learned.
  29. You NEVER bring up the intimate disclosures of the other when angry or arguing.  Intimate disclosures are off-limits.
  30. Humility is present.  You are able to give up always being “right.”  Don’t let your ego get in the way.
  31. You are willing to make sacrifices for the other.
  32. You speak each other’s love language even when it differs from your own.
  33. You share mutual activities and interests.
  34. You NEVER call each other names or physically assault one another.
  35. You have strong friendship.
  36. You encourage and support each other. (“I have got your back.”)
  37. In conflict, you respect your partner’s need for a time out.  (Time to calm down and think rationally before resolving an issue.)
  38. You do not expect your partner to complete you.  You are secure in your own worth and want to share your life with them.
  39. Physical contact is mutually enjoyed.
  40. Appreciate each other’s strengths and overlook each other’s idiosyncrasies.
  41. Both are open to constructive feedback.
  42. Other meaningful relationships and interests are present.
  43. You have similar values, but do not demand that the other have the same values as you. (Mutual respect exists)
  44. You are willing to take risks and be vulnerable.
  45. You avoid intentionally hurting the other because you have been hurt.  No tit for tat.  No keeping score of grievances.

The Secret to Applying Them

Focus on what you can change about yourself rather than concentrating on what your partner needs to change.  Instead of approaching your partner with a “This is what you need to work on” approach- approach them with a “this is what we need to work on approach.” Then work on yourself regardless of the actions of your partner.  You may be surprised to see what teaching by example can do for you and your relationship.

The more of these things you are doing- the healthier the relationship.  Use this list to guide your growth rather than to judge your relationship.  Just as no person is perfect, no relationship is perfect.  Rather than demanding that you or your partner be perfect, look for areas of needed growth.   See what you can do to improve the relationship with the one that you love.

Source: 45 Characteristics of Healthy Relationships + The Secret to Applying Them – Let Life in Practices

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How to Learn Anything

Timothy Ferriss
Timothy Ferriss (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Leo Babauta shares this:

It’s not often you get to talk to someone so intensely focused on learning.

I had that chance recently, as I sat down with Tim Ferriss, who just launched his massive new book, The 4-Hour Chef: The Simple Path to Cooking Like a Pro, Learning Anything, and Living the Good Life.

Tim spent some intense months learning how to do the thing that has kicked his butt for his entire life: cooking. He sucked at cooking, and decided to conquer it, and in the process shows us how to learn anything, from languages to sports to survival skills. The book teaches us how to cook, but more importantly, it teaches us the art and science of learning.

So I sat down with Tim to talk about learning, and asked questions submitted by Zen Habits readers the week before:

  • What is your set protocol for when you catch yourself procrastinating?
  • How are we supposed to devote several months to learning when we have 9-5 job, family, etc?
  • Do rules set us free? More specifically, is habit essential when trying to be productive?
  • Do you know any secrets to self-imposed moderation? For alcohol, food, or anything really.
  • Learning something new involves memory. How important is a good memory in learning? How can I improve my memory?

via » How to Learn Anything :zenhabits.

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Block Friday

LightThe guys over at the Minimalists have this thought to share:

This Friday is the busiest shopping day of the year: Black Friday. Retailers prepare months in advance for this dark day—preparation that’s meant to stimulate your insatiable desire to consume: Doorbuster sales. New products. Gigantic newspaper ads. TV, radio, print, billboards. Sale, sale, sale! Early bird specials. One day only! Get the best deal. Act now! While supplies last.

The Minimalists would, however, like to shed some light on this darkest of Fridays. It’s important to understand that consumption is an unquenchable thirst. Retailers and advertisers and manufacturers know this too well. And thus, they’ve invented an entire day designed to take advantage of your insatiable desire to consume.

The pernicious aspects of Black Friday are not few. The pandemonium of this day is a synecdoche for our consumer culture as a whole. On this day, people consume gluttonously without regard for the harm they’re inflicting on themselves. On this day, greed becomes ravenous. On this day, people live without real meaning, buying gifts to fill a void that can’t possibly be filled with material possessions.

Sadly, people participate in the rapacious nature of Black Friday in the name of a holiday, as if buying gifts was an ideal way to celebrate Christmas. But thankfully, you have options.

Instead of embracing Black Friday, you can Block Friday. You can refuse to buy material items for people to display your love. Rather, you can showcase your love, caring, and affection through daily actions—every day, not just holidays.

If you want to give gifts, why not gift an experience—a nice meal, tickets to a concert, or a sunset on the beach? After all, the best, most loving gift you can give someone is your time and undivided attention.

Will you join us? Will you opt out of Black Friday? If not, why not?

Source: Dark Friday | The Minimalists

I will opt out! I hate what Christmas has become and the stress that it causes by all the false expectations it creates. Give me Thanksgiving with family, food and gratitude and I’ll see you next year…

:-/

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I am my own worst enemy

This song by Lit makes me laugh. It reminds me that left to my own devices, I don’t always make the best decisions… :-D

By the way, Not Safe for Work [NSFW] lyrics!

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Building Your Self-Worth: Why You Matter

Vasavi Kumar shares this:

We all have fears and beliefs about who we are and what we are capable of, however, at a time where I felt the most helpless in my life, what filled me up was helping another human being. There is no way that our existence on this planet can be enjoyed to maximum fulfillment without serving humanity.

I’m grateful and blessed for my journey. It’s been a long road and along the way I have collected the lessons that were intended for me to learn, grow, and teach. It’s my privilege to share them with you.

1.  Never doubt how much YOU MATTER.

2.  Go with your gut. Always.

3.  What other people think of you isn’t your problem. So mind your business.

4.  You’re going to make a lot of mistakes. It will serve you in the long run.

5.  Trust that the Universe will always conspire on your behalf.

6. Have fun. Worrying and suffering are optional.

7. Number one spirit killer? Not being you. Take the mask off.

8. Whatever it is that you want to do, just start.

9. The company you keep will either move you forward or hold you back.

10. The path that you have been on is absolutely perfect for where you want to go.

11. Be your word. Everywhere.

12. When in doubt, look within.

13. The most influential relationship that you have is with yourself.

14. If you don’t like the rules, make up new ones.

15. Say yes. Especially to you.

16. You are the love that you seek.

Your time is now, so what are you waiting for?

Go to the source and read the rest of Vasavi’s article: Building Your Self-Worth: Why You Matter | FinerMinds

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Today: A Unique Day

I love Australian Craig Harper’s perspective:

Today is Unique

You’ve never had this day before and you’ll never have it again. Sure, you’ve had days like it but you’ve never had this day; the one you’re in right now.

Naturally, you might think I’m being deep and philosophical when I say this but I’m not, I’m being literal. Practical. Of course, there’s a sense of familiarity and predictability about today but that feeling says nothing about the possibilities and potential of this day and everything about you because like every day, this one is not predetermined.

It’s you determined.

It might feel the same but it isn’t. It’s totally new. Original. Unique.

Of course you can choose, act, react, think and communicate just like you did yesterday (and most people will) – and therefore, you’ll probably create very similar outcomes – but again, that’s about you; not the day. Despite what you may have been taught, there are no (universal) good and bad days.

There are just days.

Now, before you try to prove me wrong (“but Craig, what about the woman who gets diagnosed with cancer?”), hit the pause button on your non-negotiable thinking for a moment and allow yourself to look through a different window. Is it possible that, as things happen (to you, around you), you label them based on your world view, beliefs, fears, standards, etc., you then react to those things, give those things meaning and finally, after all your labeling, assessing and processing, you somehow determine whether today is a good day or bad one?

That is, you create your own experience? Your own reality?

A Hypothetical

Your phone and wallet have been stolen while taking your early morning swim and, as a result, you’re having “the worst day ever”. You drive to work in a bad mood and you’re about to throw yourself a pity party when a colleague informs you that your boss has just been rushed to hospital after suffering a massive heart attack. In a matter of seconds you experience a major internal shift. Your enormous problem is now tiny. Insignificant. Your outlook changes completely and all of a sudden, your terrible day is now relatively fantastic (when compared with the day your boss is having). Well technically, the day is the same (of course) but in the middle of it, you are different. Well, to be more precise, your thinking is different which means your experience has changed.

Which means your day has changed.

The Manager vs The Managee

Is it possible that you’re living a reactive (wait and see what happens) type of existence rather than a proactive (I’ll determine the quality of my own day thanks) type of existence? Could today simultaneously be my ‘best day ever’ and your ‘total nightmare’? And finally, could it be that a good or bad day on Planet You is more about your personal interpretation of, and response to, certain (otherwise meaningless) happenings, events and outcomes, than the actual happenings, events and outcomes themselves?

Like yesterday, today is a blank canvas and like it or not, you’re going to paint something.

The question is, what will be hanging in your gallery tonight?

You can follow his blog here: Today: A Unique Day

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