Category: Wisdom

Perception of Separation

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How to be alone…

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Peggy Noonan on cultural decline…

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Peggy Noonan in the Wall Street Journal (July 15, 2011) wrote of our cultural ignorance and dislocation:

Pretty much everyone over 50 in America feels on some level like a refugee … And they fear, deep down, that this new culture, the one their children live in, isn’t going to make it. Because it is, in its essence, an assaultive culture, from the pop music coming out of the rental car radio to the TSA agent with her hands on your kid’s buttocks … In the Old America there were a lot of bad parents. There always are, because being a parent is hard … But in the old America you knew it wasn’t so bad, because the culture could bring the kids up. Inadequate parents could sort of say, “Go outside and play in the culture,” and culture — relatively innocent, and boring — could be more or less trusted to bring the kids up … Grown up now know that you can’t send the kids to go out and play in the culture, because the culture will leave them distorted and disturbed.

via Alan Jones: Time to Take Another Look at Catholicism.

Agree? Disagree?

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Recovery

Melody-Beattie-8x6.jpgMelody Beattie writes:

Recovery is not about being right; it’s about allowing ourselves to be who we are and accepting others as they are. That concept can be difficult for many of us if we have lived in systems that functioned on the “right-wrong” justice scale. The person who was right was okay; the person who was wrong was shamed. All value and worth may have depended on being right; to be wrong meant annihilation of self and self-esteem. In recovery, we are learning how to strive for love in our relationships, not superiority. Yes, we may need to make decisions about people’s behavior from time to time. If someone is hurting us, we need to stand up for ourselves. We have a responsibility to set boundaries and take care of ourselves. But we do not need to justify taking care of ourselves by condemning someone else. We can avoid the trap of focusing on others instead of ourselves. In recovery, we are learning that what we do needs to be right only for us. What others do is their business and needs to be right only for them. It’s tempting to rest in the superiority of being right and in analyzing other people’s motives and actions, but it’s more rewarding to look deeper.
Today, I will remember that I don’t have to hide behind being right. I don’t have to justify what I want and need with saying something is “right” or “wrong.” I can let myself be who I am.

Beattie, Melody (2009-12-15). The Language of Letting Go (Hazelden Meditation Series) (p. 47). BookMobile. Kindle Edition.

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Instruction on Love

Love for Arts

Beth Lapides writes:

These are the instructions for love that I have been given. Love yourself. Love something bigger than yourself. Love something smaller than yourself. Love something the same size as yourself. Love as a verb, not a noun. Not a thing, an action. Love whoever comes into your path and seek out those for whom your love is abiding.

Love without resentment something you both love and resent. Love without anger someone you both love and are angry with. Love your anger and resentment if this is not possible.

Love what might be without knowing what it is. For today think of possibility, not uncertainty. Love the absence of trouble in whatever areas your life is trouble-free. Love your troubles, as they are agents of change.

Love the part of you that you love easily with the part of you that you love less so. Love a part of you that is hard to love with a part of you that you love easily. Continue reading “Instruction on Love” →

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30 Day Happiness Challenge

Get started here!

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Self-compassion; A Healthier Way of Relating to Yourself

I ‘discovered’ Dr. Kristin Neff’s work on self-compassion reading Brene Brown’s book ‘Daring Greatly’. What is it?

Here’s her TEDx talk on the topic:

Full story [including self-test] at: Self-compassion – A Healthier Way of Relating to Yourself.

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Sawubona – I See You

My friend Nilofer shared the image above on Facebook and it reminded me of a story I heard about the Zulu greeting Sawubona.

Continue reading “Sawubona – I See You” →
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Why Relationships Fail: 4 Tips to Make Love Last

“Happiness mainly comes from our own attitude, rather than from external factors.” ~Dalai Lama

Full story at: Why Relationships Fail: 4 Tips to Make Love Last | Tiny Buddha.

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A Hug For Your Soul: The Only Gift You Need This Valentine’s Day

With today being the celebrated day of love, we wanted to give each and everyone one of you a reminder of how beautiful, smart, worthy and unbelievably special you are.

It will only take 3-minutes, and we promise your heart and soul with be tingling with the same kind of warm and endorphin-releasing feeling that is usually generated from a great, big, meaningful hug.

So without further ado, watch the above guided meditation video, A Love Letter to You From the Universe, and share it with your friends, family or partner – or anyone who you want to sprinkle with some extra love today!

via A Hug For Your Soul: The Only Gift You Need This Valentine’s Day | FinerMinds.

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Life is difficult…

“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult-once we truly understand and accept it-then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.It is in the whole process of meeting and solving problems that life has meaning. Problems are the cutting edge that distinguishes between success and failure. Problems call forth our courage and our wisdom; indeed, they create our courage and our wisdom. It is only because of problems that we grow mentally and spiritually. It is through the pain of confronting and resolving problems that we learn.”

M. Scott Peck
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How to Practice Radical Acceptance

Kristin Barton Cuthriell got me started with her post this morning and I can’t let this thought go. Here, an eHow contributor give instructions on how to practice radical acceptance:

Radical acceptance is the practice of accepting life on its own terms and finding effective strategies to cope with whatever is happening. It doesn’t mean being passive, but accepting “what is” with the understanding that you have the power of choice. Practicing radical acceptance is a choice that can ease stress and depression and enhance your overall quality of life.

Get the instructions here: How to Practice Radical Acceptance | eHow.com.

Related articles
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9 Surefire Ways to Can Conflict Before Everything Hits the Fan

You know the drill: you and your mate have a disagreement, you get triggered, and before you know it you’re in a full-blown battle.  Your heart’s pounding, words are flying, you’re trying to defend yourself and you feel totally misunderstood by the person you love.

Full story at: 9 Surefire Ways to Can Conflict Before Everything Hits the Fan – Lifehack.

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Stop! 9 WARNING Signs That You May Be in a Dangerous Relationship

Ponder this:

Any relationship can be an unhealthy one. Bad relationships aren’t just limited to marriages or partnerships—they can occur while dating, in friendships, or families. Any relationship that is harmful or destructive to your physical, mental, or emotional well-being is an unhealthy one.

There are many reasons why people stay in an unhealthy relationship. Some don’t recognize or aren’t willing to accept that the relationship is unhealthy, or they are fearful or lack the inner strength to leave. Or, they believe that they can change their partner and things will improve. The sad truth is that unhealthy relationships rarely get better; instead, they get progressively worse, leaving scars that are difficult to recover from.

Full story at: Stop! 9 WARNING Signs That You May Be in a Dangerous Relationship – Lifehack.

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5 Things to Stop Doing and Start Doing for Yourself

Angel Chernoff writes:

When you stop doing the wrong things and start doing the right things, almost anything you want and everything you need comes within reach.

Which means it’s time to…

Full story at: 5 Things to Stop Doing and Start Doing for Yourself.

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3 Simple Exercises To Develop Your Intuition

http://youtu.be/Pt-mt59phIc

Fact: You already know what you have to do.

Question: Do you have the courage to trust your inner guidance? Here are a few exercises and questions to help you tap into your inner wisdom and develop your intuition!

via 3 Simple Exercises To Develop Your Intuition (Video).

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Rejecting Shame

51CanjelMjL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA278_PIkin4,BottomRight,-64,22_AA300_SH20_OU01_Melody Beattie writes:

Shame can be a powerful force in our life. It is the trademark of dysfunctional families.

Authentic, legitimate guilt is the feeling or thought that what we did is not okay. It indicates that our behavior needs to be corrected or altered, or an amend needs to be made.

Shame is an overwhelming negative sense that who we are isn’t okay. Shame is a no-win situation. We can change our behaviors, but we can’t change who we are. Shame can propel us deeper into self-defeating and sometimes self-destructive behaviors.

What are the things that can cause us to feel shame? We may feel ashamed when we have a problem or someone we love has a problem. We may feel ashamed for making mistakes or for succeeding. We may feel ashamed about certain feelings or thoughts. We may feel ashamed when we have fun, feel good, or are vulnerable enough to show ourselves to others. Some of us feel ashamed just for being.

Shame is a spell others put on us to control us, to keep us playing our part in dysfunctional systems. It is a spell many of us have learned to put on ourselves.

Learning to reject shame can change the quality of our life. It’s okay to be who we are. We are good enough. Our feelings are okay. Our past is okay. It’s okay to have problems, make mistakes, and struggle to find our path. It’s okay to be human and cherish our humanness.

Accepting ourselves is the first step toward recovery. Letting go of shame about who we are is the next important step.

Today, I will watch for signs that I have fallen into shame’s trap. If I get hooked into shame, I will get myself out by accepting myself and affirming that it’s okay to be who I am.

Go to the original source: Blog | Just For Today Meditations

If this resonates with you, I’d like to recommend a book I’m currently reading by shame ‘expert’ Brené Brown called ‘The Gifts of Imperfection’ – Brown picks up where Melody Beattie left off in this meditation and offers great insight into shame and how to overcome it. Just in case you haven’t seen it [and because it’s so easy to do] here is Brené Brown’s viral talk on vulnerability and shame…

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Top 10 ways to build your willpower (and why you should care!)

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Grasping at Straws

@popsdigital writes:

Nature offers plenty to keep keen observers occupied and avid photographers snap happy. While tromping though the Kewaunee Marshlands Walk yesterday I noticed this interesting display of nature.

This is some delicate vine that coiled itself around nearby grasses and, though dormant, is still maintaining its grip well into the middle of winter.

via Grasping at Straws – Vine Photo – Pops DigitalPops Digital.

I love Bill’s eye and shared the image because somewhere in here is a metaphor about holding on to things long after the life has gone out of them but I haven’t had enough coffee yet so YOU find your own deep meaning in the image…

:-D

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10 Mindful Minutes to Bliss

Did you know that our minds are lost in thought 47% of the time, and that the reason for this stems from unhappiness?

So this begs the question, how often do you allow yourself the needed opportunity to sit and do absolutely nothing, except embrace the moment rather than a destructive thought?

Mindfulness expert, Andy Puddicombe, explains in this excellent TED Talk that all it takes is 10 minutes a day to refresh your body and increase your overall happiness just by being mindful and experiencing the present moment through meditation.

We know that for a lot of you, we’re preaching to the converted, however for those who are new to meditation or perhaps have let their practice slip, watch this 10-minute talk to learn why meditation is the best medicine for the mind.

via 10 Mindful Minutes to Bliss | FinerMinds.

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The Best Pep Talk You’ll Get All Day Video

Are you smiling right now? If not, this inspirational video from SoulPancake should fix that. Hope it makes your day like it did ours! One gem from the star, Kid President:  “I took the road less traveled. And it hurt, man. Really bad [….] NOT COOL, Robert Frost.”

via The Best Pep Talk Youll Get All Day Video.

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