However the main reason to pick your words carefully is for yourself. We constantly hear ourselves describing ourselves and although it may be unconscious, we choose particular words to describe ourselves and our deeds. If you are someone who minimises themselves on a regular basis this is how you and others will see you. You may create the belief that you are “only” or “just” or “quite” rather than powerfully occupying who you are in whatever role you have chosen for yourself. Drop those qualifiers. Additionally, don’t use frightening or exaggerating words when describing a forthcoming event that you are not looking forward to. If you describe a visit to the doctor or dentist as horrid or scary, then like as not this is how it will be for you. Incidentally, many parents prejudice their children prior to inoculations or having to take medicine by telling their children how awful it will be. Don’t do it.
I have become lazy and sloppy on this blog — posting pithy memes instead of writing what they mean to me — so this post is really something outstanding if only because it’s the first post in ages where I’ve written more than 7 words. :-D
I believe that yesterday was a great day for all Americans, regardless of their sexual orientation. Years ago, however, I would have been apoplectic and spewing hatred and ranting about how yesterday’s Supreme Court decision signalled the death of America, blah, blah, blah. What changed? I did. Why? A simple thought rocked my world:
Who am I to judge? No one. I am not worthy!
Here’s a bit of a backstory: I have spent a big part of my life on ‘the right’; the political right [for two years, I was the 3rd Vice Chairman of the Republican Party and consulted with the RNC] and the religious right [I am a recovering Shiite evangelical fundamentalist].
Oh, yeah! I was in deep…
The irony of it all is that while I was obsessed with being RIGHT on the outside I was so wrong on the inside. My binary [true/false, black/white] orientation meant that I didn’t really need to THINK about a lot of things including the idea that all beings deserve happiness regardless of whether we agree on issues like with whom we want to cuddle up on a cold Wisconsin night.
Fundamental to my growth path or dharma over the past few years is a wonderful teacher named Tara Brach who introduced me to the idea of metta, or lovingkindness, practice. When you pray this:
May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness;
May all be free from sorrow and the causes of sorrow;
May all never be separated from the sacred happiness which is sorrowless;
And may all live in equanimity, without too much attachment and too much aversion,
And live believing in the equality of all that lives.
…it is difficult to deny any being what they consider happiness regardless of what they believe or their ‘orientation’ on any one of a number of issues. May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness…
It’s not that I don’t care anymore — it’s that I care more deeply than I ever did about all beings and not so much the issues themselves. The reason I celebrate the decision is because I am ok with it when only 5 years ago I would have been beside myself with anger and fear and I feel that I am a better person now than I was then. May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness…
One of the many people I want to thank for the part they have played in my conversion is a beautiful man named Michael Rohrer who blogs in a raw, powerful, and transparent way about the struggles of being a gay man who comes from a religious background. I don’t know how I first came across his work but I’m grateful I did. Through his writing he has opened my eyes and heart to the idea we are all on the same journey even if we follow different paths and I cherish the friendship that has developed via Twitter and Facebook! I don’t agree with everything that Michael posts but I will defend to the death his right to post it and he opens my mind. May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness…
Today I celebrate not only the Supreme Court decision but also the joy of having an open mind and how much nicer it is than needing to be RIGHT all the time! May all beings have happiness and the causes of happiness…
I collect articles like this. Over the years I’ve seen hundreds of articles on email productivity but I’ve never seen anyone write about my favorite which is this:
Don’t give your email address to anyone with whom you don’t want to do business.
Just this one thing will guarantee that your email volume will drop by half. Maybe two thirds or even more.
I don’t care where you collect your personal emails, but your business inbox should be reserved for what I call ‘just in time’ emails — emails that affect relationships, revenue and reporting. Everything else belongs in a second, free email account or a news reader.
Of all the articles I’ve read on the topic, I think this is one of the more amusing conclusions I’ve read but that doesn’t mean the other ideas in it won’t help you.
One way you can cut out 90% of your email time is to hire a personal assistant (PA). These can be hired from outsourcing sites for a reasonable hourly rate. You can then train them by giving them access to your business email and then using a tool such as Skype to go through your email inbox every day for a week. After that, they can log into your email account every morning and only forward emails on to you that are absolutely vital for you to personally deal with.
So the only additional step you will need to take is to set up a different mailbox. If you receive personal emails, then it’s obviously advisable to steer them into your new email account rather than allowing your personal assistant to read them. Yes this will cost money, but a freelance personal assistant will potentially cost a fraction of the money you can make by freeing up several hours per day in some cases.
Lifehacker Australia has an interesting post on crafting an information diet that I think is worth reading and considering as we prepare for a new year.
Some of us watch a lot of TV. We may read more articles than we need to (the irony is not lost on me here). We go on Twitter to kill our boredom. By consuming information more carefully and treating it like food for our minds (which it is), we can do it in a way that actually works without completely cutting it out of our lives.
Create A Separate Account (or Use A Separate Device) for Consuming Information (I use Gmail)
Make the Information Come to You (I use Feedly)
They conclude “The amount of time we spend mindlessly consuming information can be astonishing. In order to get a grip on your information diet, separate your information consumption and let it digest, understand what you want from each piece of information, and save time and expose yourself to new ideas by making the information come to you.”
To their advice I would add
Jealously guard your business email address — don’t give it to anyone with whom you don’t want to do business — use that Gmail address for everything else!
Learn to use RSS and select a feed reader and use it to make information come to you. I have found the best tools to be Feedly, Digg and Feedspot as well as the feed reader in Microsoft Outlook. Use them to lighten your email load.
It might also be a good time to read Clay Johnson’s book ‘The Information Diet‘ — it’s a great resource on this topic.
It’s great when it’s a Queen song but so great when it’s a free app you love like Trapster…
How do you avoid this? First, be careful about what software you actually download and believe it or not, I believe you actually want to pay for software you rely on. You may think you’re getting away with something by using a lot of free apps but as they say about Facebook, if you’re not not sure where the revenue is coming from, it’s coming from selling your personal data. Do yourself a favor and look for apps that are freemium and actually pay developers for what you use. Not only is it the right thing to do, it will keep your favorite apps from disappearing…
Oh, and if you’re looking for a Trapster replacement, try Waze — seems to have a lot more momentum and it will actually save you time, not just report speed traps!
Be yourself no matter what, some will adore you and some will hate everything about you. But who cares? It’s your life, make the most out of it! — Unknown
I can find only three kinds of business in the universe: mine, yours, and God’s. (For me, the word God means “reality.” Reality is God, because it rules. Anything that’s out of my control, your control, and everyone else’s control— I call that God’s business.) Much of our stress comes from mentally living out of our own business. When I think, “You need to get a job, I want you to be happy, you should be on time, you need to take better care of yourself,” I am in your business. When I’m worried about earthquakes, floods, war, or when I will die, I am in God’s business. If I am mentally in your business or in God’s business, the effect is separation. I noticed this early in 1986. When I mentally went into my mother’s business, for example, with a thought like “My mother should understand me,” I immediately experienced a feeling of loneliness. And I realized that every time in my life that I had felt hurt or lonely, I had been in someone else’s business. If you are living your life and I am mentally living your life, who is here living mine? We’re both over there. Being mentally in your business keeps me from being present in my own. I am separate from myself, wondering why my life doesn’t work. To think that I know what’s best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance, and the result is tension, anxiety, and fear. Do I know what’s right for me? That is my only business. Let me work with that before I try to solve your problems for you. If you understand the three kinds of business enough to stay in your own business, it could free your life in a way that you can’t even imagine. The next time you’re feeling stress or discomfort, ask yourself whose business you’re in mentally, and you may burst out laughing! That question can bring you back to yourself. And you may come to see that you’ve never really been present, that you’ve been mentally living in other people’s business all your life. Just to notice that you’re in someone else’s business can bring you back to your own wonderful self. And if you practice it for a while, you may come to see that you don’t have any business either and that your life runs perfectly well on its own.
Bright, shiny objects! 
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