Category: Curated

My dad’s eulogy

15 years ago, I wrote this post on Father’s Day. Last Saturday, these were my remarks as we celebrated his life and legacy…

“There is something really powerful in the words of Friedrich Schiller, the Austrian poet, which I shared with my dad for Father’s Day back in 1983: “Nicht Fleisch und Blut; das Herz macht uns zu Vätern und Söhnen.”—“Not flesh and blood but hearts make us fathers and sons.” Nobody lived that out more than my dad. Looking back, he didn’t just become my father by chance; he chose to be my dad through a simple, huge act of love. That choice changed my whole path in life and taught me what being a man and a father is really about.

Fifteen years ago on Father’s Day, right here in this church, it finally hit me. Watching him read the Epistle, I realized that everything I like about myself had his fingerprints all over it. Dad taught me that a Lohenry belongs at the front of the room. When they asked for readers for daily mass in 4th grade, my reaction was basically the 4th grade version of ‘hold my beer’—it was my job on Monday because it was his job on Sunday. By watching him lead with such confidence, I learned to love speaking, teaching, and a good pun among other things. To try and understand his world, I took a programming course in 1983. That Father’s Day, I gave him my final project and told him he could keep it because I was done with computers. The irony is that thirteen years later, I ended up at Apple. Today, with tech and communication as my daily work, he definitely got the last laugh.

He filled our home with books, passing on a love of reading that we shared even during his time in the hospital. He filled our lives with music; even now, I can’t listen to Dave Brubeck without picturing him tapping his wedding ring on the car roof to the beat of an FM jazz station. He taught me the necessity of a good laugh, and he showed me that real men aren’t afraid to feel deeply.

Talking with my mom recently, I realized something else: my father had an incredible spark and a constant drive to keep moving forward. When a stroke in 1963 left him without a job, he didn’t quit; he went door-to-door as a Fuller Brush salesman and eventually worked his way up to leading a company. Years later I could relate when I spent three years pushing carts and packing groceries at Costco to rebuild my own future. He showed me that no job is beneath you if you have character and that you can always start over as long as you keep trying.

To my sons who are here today: I want you to really feel the bond we have—not just being related, but that connection of the heart that makes us who we are. Let my recent accident be a reminder to all of us not to take the time we take for granted.

To finish, I’ll look to Schiller one more time: “Es lebt ein Stück von mir in dir”—”A piece of me lives on in you.” Because we were so close, my words and my work are his legacy. I’m so proud to say that I am my father’s son. Rest easy, Dad, knowing you gave me everything I needed for love and life. I love you.”

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The Girandoni Air Rifle: The Lewis and Clark Expedition’s Secret Weapon

Have you ever wondered how the Lewis and Clark Expedition managed to travel through over 4,000 miles of hostile territory basically unmolested? This rifle and how they used it is one of the reasons why.

“The article discusses the Girandoni air rifle, highlighting its significance during the Lewis and Clark expedition. Although this advanced firearm was nearly obsolete by 1810, it played a crucial role in the expedition, providing the explorers with an edge in both protection and hunting. The rifle’s innovative design allowed for rapid firing and a considerable range, contributing to its status as a secret weapon for the expedition team.” Source: The Girandoni Air Rifle: The Lewis and Clark Expedition’s Secret Weapon

I learned this and many other things reading this new book…

“A major revisionist history of the Lewis and Clark expedition: For the first time in a generation, This Vast Enterprise offers a fresh and more accurate account of one of the most important episodes in American history, humanizing forgotten figures and shattering long-held myths.” Amazon.com

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What Is EMDR Therapy? Can It Really Help Me?

Living room corner with beige armchair, small wooden table, multiple green plants, and large window with curtains

Heard a lot about the power of EMDR, but not sure how it works or if it’s truly right for you? Here I answer your questions.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapeutic approach designed to help individuals process traumatic memories and reduce their emotional distress. The article explains that EMDR involves a structured eight-phase approach where the therapist guides the client through recalling distressing events while simultaneously engaging in bilateral stimulation, typically through guided eye movements. EMDR has been found effective for various trauma-related issues and offers a unique alternative to traditional talk therapies. The author emphasizes the importance of finding a qualified practitioner to ensure the therapy’s effectiveness and suitability for individual needs.

Go to the source and read the whole article: What the Heck Is EMDR Therapy? Can It Really Help Me?

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Pope Leo tells priests not to use AI to write homilies or seek likes on TikTok

Pope Leo has advised priests against utilizing artificial intelligence to compose homilies or to pursue social media approval, particularly on platforms like TikTok. He expressed concerns that such practices could compromise the authenticity and spiritual integrity of their messages. The Pope emphasized the importance of personal connection and the need for priests to focus on genuine communication of their faith, rather than seeking digital validation.

Source: Pope Leo tells priests not to use AI to write homilies or seek likes on TikTok | National Catholic Reporter

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Psychology of Men Who Love Cats

The video “Psychology of Men Who Love Cats” explores the unique characteristics and psychological traits of men who have a deep affection for cats. It delves into their personality types, the emotional connections they form with their feline companions, and how these relationships influence their social behavior. The video combines expert insights with anecdotes to illustrate the benefits of cat ownership, such as companionship and stress relief, while also challenging stereotypes about masculinity and pet ownership. Overall, it highlights the positive impact that cats can have on men’s lives, showcasing the bond between them and their pets.

What do you think, Raffaello?

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Buddhism and Artificial Intelligence

Watching the documentary The AI Doc has me thinking about alot of things. Here I’m researching the Buddhist perspective on AI and I invite Rafaello Palandri to comment and enlighten me. Here goes…

In my understanding, Buddhism generally views Artificial Intelligence (AI) as a tool rather than a sentient being. Because Buddhism focuses on the nature of the mind and the relief of suffering (dukkha), the discussion around AI usually falls into three categories: ethics, consciousness, and practical use.

Continue reading “Buddhism and Artificial Intelligence” →
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The Hardest Part Of History To Tell Is How It Felt

An author writes about writing about the Lewis & Clark expedition. Personally I think this expedition was an as great or greater adventure than man landing on the moon and I can’t wait to read this new take…

Source: The Hardest Part Of History To Tell Is How It Felt | Defector

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When I die and they lay me to rest

I have already told my partner Lori that when I die, I’d like her to leave me in a dumpster on the Notre Dame campus near the football stadium but that’s just a throwaway. I’d really like her to spread my ashes on the Cliffs of Mohr while she blasts Spirit in the Sky from a boombox. Yup. That’s the ticket…

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Jesus Christ Superstar Guitarists

On the original 1970 concept album of Jesus Christ Superstar—which served as the “original cast” recording before the show ever hit the stage—the lead guitar duties were shared by two primary musicians, both of whom were members of Joe Cocker’s backing group, The Grease Band:

  • Henry McCullough: He played both electric and acoustic guitar. McCullough is perhaps the most famous guitarist associated with the album; he later joined Paul McCartney & Wings and provided the iconic solo on “My Love.”
  • Neil Hubbard: He played electric guitar. Hubbard was also a session veteran who later played with Roxy Music and B.B. King.

While both contributed heavily to the rock-opera’s gritty sound, McCullough is frequently credited with many of the more prominent, bluesy lead lines.

Continue reading “Jesus Christ Superstar Guitarists” →
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Little Gidding

“What we call the beginning is often the end and to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”

T. S. Eliot (my dad’s favorite poet)

Source: Little Gidding (poem) – Wikipedia

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The Bridge Between Us: Navigating the Hard Road to Reconciliation

Square sculpture of fragmented mirrors reflecting a gallery room in distorted, curved pieces.

Reconciliation isn’t a cinematic moment. There are rarely swelling violins or a sudden, tearful embrace that wipes away twenty years of silence or friction. In reality, trying to reconcile with a father is a gritty, unglamorous process of dismantling old armor—one rusted plate at a time. I know, I’ve been there and done the work.

It is perhaps one of the most complex emotional maneuvers a person can attempt. It requires balancing the child you once were with the adult you are now, all while looking at a man who is likely just as flawed and frightened as anyone else.

Continue reading “The Bridge Between Us: Navigating the Hard Road to Reconciliation” →
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The Quiet After the Storm: Reconciling with a Changed Father

Hands holding a dark ceramic anatomical heart with glowing golden cracks over a wooden table.

Forgiveness is often sold as a cinematic moment—a tearful embrace, a sudden shedding of the past, and a clear path forward. But when the person you are forgiving is a formerly abusive father who has genuinely changed, the reality is far messier. It isn’t a single event; it’s a grueling, confusing, and deeply personal negotiation between the child you were and the adult you are now.

Reconciling with a father who is “no longer that person” presents a unique psychological hurdle. It requires holding two seemingly impossible truths at once: He did those things and He is not doing them now.

Continue reading “The Quiet After the Storm: Reconciling with a Changed Father” →
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Lou Holtz Notre Dame-USC Pep Rally Speech

Lou Holtz was a retired American football coach, motivational speaker, and author, born on January 6, 1937, in Follansbee, West Virginia. He began his coaching career in college football, working with various teams, including the University of Massachusetts and the University of Arkansas. Holtz gained national prominence during his tenure as the head coach at the University of Notre Dame from 1986 to 1996, where he led the Fighting Irish to a national championship in 1988.

Holtz is known for his unique coaching style, ability to motivate players, and his keen understanding of the game. After retiring from coaching, he became a celebrated speaker and author, sharing his philosophies on leadership and success. Holtz was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame in 2008, leaving a lasting legacy in the world of sports. Throughout his life, he has emphasized the importance of attitude, effort, and integrity in achieving one’s goals.

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I’m so tired

I love this Christina Perri cover of the Beatles classic:

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Gaining Clarity Through Aging

The author writes “I have proudly earned every candle on my birthday cake, and I am grateful for each day I am given. Every day I wake up is already a wonderful day.”

The article “Gaining Clarity Through Aging” explores the positive aspects of aging, emphasizing how each year brings valuable life lessons and greater appreciation for daily experiences. The author reflects on the wisdom gained through life’s challenges and the importance of gratitude for each day lived. Emphasizing a positive outlook on aging, the piece advocates for embracing life’s moments and understanding that the journey brings clarity and fulfillment.

Go to the source and read the whole article: Gaining Clarity Through Aging

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Should I Get Married? The Science Behind the ‘I Do’

Forget the fairy tale. Discover the real science on how marriage affects your bank account, brain health, and long-term happiness.

The article “Should I Get Married? The Science Behind the ‘I Do'” explores the tangible effects of marriage on various aspects of life, including finances, mental health, and overall happiness. It moves beyond romanticized notions of marriage, presenting empirical evidence that illustrates how being married can enhance financial stability, improve brain health, and contribute to long-term contentment. The piece encourages readers to consider the scientific research surrounding marriage rather than relying solely on fairy tale ideals.

Go to the source and read the whole article: Should I Get Married? The Science Behind the ‘I Do’

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If You Want to Be Happy, Have Multiple Baskets

Too many of us lean on a couple of only a few sources for our happiness—our jobs, our partners, our children. But there is a danger in doing this?

Never put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket.

Anonymous

In the article “If You Want to Be Happy, Have Multiple Baskets,” the author emphasizes the importance of diversifying sources of happiness beyond just jobs, partners, and children. Relying too heavily on a few elements for emotional fulfillment can be risky, as it can lead to disappointment and a lack of resilience during tough times. By cultivating multiple avenues for joy—such as hobbies, friendships, and personal growth—individuals can create a more stable and enriched life. The piece encourages readers to seek a broader range of experiences that contribute to their overall happiness and well-being.

Go to the source and read the whole article: If You Want to Be Happy, Have Multiple Baskets

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Jeffrey Epstein: Filthy Rich

I finally decided to see what this was all about. Here’s the first step…

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‘To Thine Own Self Be True’, Meaning & History Of The Phrase

‘To thine own self be true’ is a line from Act 1 Scene 3 of Shakespeare’s play, Hamlet. It is spoken by King Claudius’ chief minister, Polonius as part of a speech. Here’s the whole thing…

“There, my blessing with thee.
And these few precepts in thy memory
Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,
Nor any unproportioned thought his act.
Be thou familiar but by no means vulgar.
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel,
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatched, unfledged comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel, but being in,
Bear ’t that th’ opposèd may beware of thee.
Give every man thy ear but few thy voice.
Take each man’s censure but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not expressed in fancy—rich, not gaudy,
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are of a most select and generous chief in that.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell. My blessing season this in thee.”

I could feast on these words for a long, long time…

Source: ‘To Thine Own Self Be True’, Meaning & History Of Phrase✔️

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Why Critical Thinking Is the Most Important Skill in Your Life

In a world full of facts, fakes, and feelings, critical thinking is what keeps us from mistaking popularity for truth.

The article “Why Critical Thinking Is the Most Important Skill in Your Life” emphasizes the necessity of critical thinking in today’s world, where misinformation, emotions, and popularity can easily cloud judgment. It argues that critical thinking enables individuals to discern factual information from falsehoods, helping them make informed decisions and judgements. By honing this skill, one can navigate through the complexities of life with greater clarity and accuracy, ultimately leading to more thoughtful and rational outcomes in both personal and societal contexts.

Go to the source and read the whole article: Why Critical Thinking Is the Most Important Skill in Your Life

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Changing This One Thought Can Instantly Reduce Work Stress

Do you define your job as stressful? Good. That means that a simple mental shift can help you reduce work stress.

Work stress isn’t about what happens at work; it’s about how we frame and perceive what happens. When you describe your workday with more nuance, you stop contaminating calm moments with unnecessary tension.

Source: Changing This One Thought Can Instantly Reduce Work Stress

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