I’m writing this post to share something personal with you. I have an anxious attachment style. This means that I tend to worry a lot about my relationships, especially romantic ones. I crave closeness and intimacy, but I also fear rejection and abandonment. I often feel insecure and needy, and I may act clingy or jealous. Sometimes I overthink everything and imagine worst-case scenarios. Other times I avoid expressing my true feelings or needs, hoping that my partner will just know what I want.
I know that having an anxious attachment style can make it hard to have healthy and satisfying relationships. It can also affect my self-esteem and mental health. That’s why I decided to seek professional help and learn more about myself and my attachment patterns. I want to share with you some of the things that I learned and how they helped me cope better with my anxiety.
One of the first things that I learned is that attachment styles are not fixed or permanent. They are shaped by our early experiences with our caregivers, but they can also change over time and in different contexts. For example, I may feel more anxious with a partner who is distant or inconsistent, but less anxious with a partner who is responsive and supportive. This means that I have some control over how I feel and behave in my relationships. I can also choose partners who are more compatible with my attachment needs and communicate with them openly and honestly.
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