What makes you leave a relationship? Is it time to adjust your bottom lines? Source: Cutting and Running From Relationships Comes With a Cost
Cutting and Running From Relationships Comes With a Cost
Grieving the Living: Losing Those Who Are Still Here
A subtle, ongoing trauma tearing at the continuity of self. Source: Grieving the Living: Losing Those Who Are Still Here
Former president Ulysses S. Grant dies
Today in history, Ulysses S. Grant died of throat cancer brought on by his infamous cigar smoking.
“The son of a tanner, Grant showed little enthusiasm for joining his father’s business, so the elder Grant enrolled his son at West Point in 1839. Though Grant later admitted in his memoirs that he had no interest in the military apart from honing his equestrian skills, he graduated in 1843 and went on to serve first in the Mexican-American War, which he opposed on moral grounds, and then in California and Oregon, tours of duty that forced him to leave behind his beloved wife and children.
The loneliness and sheer boredom of duty in the West drove Grant to binge drinking. By 1854, Grant’s alcohol consumption so alarmed his superiors that he was asked to resign from the Army. He did, and returned to Missouri to try his hand at farming and land speculation. Although he kicked the alcohol habit, he failed miserably at both vocations and was forced to take a job as a clerk in his father’s tanning business.” Source: Former president Ulysses S. Grant dies
I’ve read this book three times. Grant is a very interesting man at a very interesting time in American history. Some have also called him the first ‘civil rights’ president because of all he did to end slavery. You can learn more here…
Is Your Remote Job Making You Lonely?
Loneliness — the distress and discomfort we feel when we perceive a gap between the social connection we want and the quantity and quality of the relationships we currently have — can be a side effect of remote work. That lack of connection might feel slight or huge based on how we’re wired and our unique set of needs. Sadly, prevalent feelings of loneliness were on the rise even before the Covid-19 pandemic, with 61% of respondents to a 2020 study conducted by Cigna reporting feeling lonely. The author presents several steps to take if you’re grappling with loneliness. Source: Is Your Remote Job Making You Lonely?
It’s time to take stock of your social life
You don’t need to make new friends to have a fulfilling social life. Source: It’s time to take stock of your social life
Lonely people see the world differently, according to their brains
Brain activity differs among people who feel out of touch with their peers. Source: Lonely people see the world differently, according to their brains
The Cure to Male Loneliness
“No gender has a lock on loneliness, but men in particular seem to be struggling with the basics of making friends today. Surveys indicate that men have seen a much sharper decline than women in their close friendships over the past 30 years; a higher percentage of men than women report having no close friends at all (15 percent versus 10 percent); men receive less emotional support from friends than do women; and they are less likely than women to admit being lonely, making it tough to gauge, much less address, their suffering.” Go to the source…
For the good
Albert Einstein once said that the most important question a human being could answer is, ‘Is the universe a friendly place?’ A spiritually optimistic point of view holds that the universe is woven out of a fabric of love. Everything that is happening is ultimately for the good if we are willing to face it head-on and use our adversities for soul growth. As soon as we begin to …..open to faith in a friendly universe, the proverbial path opens before us. The people, events and teachings we need are supplied. This is the action of grace.
Joan Borysenko, Fire in the Soul: A New Spirituality of Spiritual Optimism
For the good
Karl Duffy writes ‘Albert Einstein once said that the most important question a human being could answer is, ‘Is the universe a friendly place?’ Source: For the good
How to Enjoy Solitude Without Feeling Lonely
Make a plan for your alone time. Source: How to Enjoy Solitude Without Feeling Lonely
The silent epidemic: loneliness
Loneliness and being alone may appear similar but have distinct differences. Being alone refers to physical solitude, where a person is by themselves without the presence of others. It is a state of being without companionship.
On the other hand, loneliness is an emotional state that arises from a sense of isolation or dissatisfaction with one’s social connections. It is possible to feel lonely even when surrounded by others, as it is more about the quality and depth of social interactions rather than the mere absence of people.
Being alone can be a choice and may provide an individual with solitude and self-reflection. It doesn’t necessarily lead to negative feelings. In fact, it can be a source of creativity, relaxation, and personal growth.
However, loneliness is generally considered undesirable and can have negative effects on mental and physical well-being. It can lead to feelings of emptiness, sadness, and a longing for meaningful connections. Loneliness can be temporary or chronic, and it’s important to address and alleviate it by nurturing social relationships, seeking support, and engaging in activities that foster a sense of belonging.
Are you alone or lonely? Your perspective may have a lot to do with how socially isolated you are or how much agency or choice you feel you have in the matter. Author and podcaster Andrew Marshall takes on this topic here with guest Dr. Sam Carr:
Why Does My Partner Only Hear Criticism?
Andrew Marshall writes “If you love someone and they love you, shouldn’t you be able to tell them if something they do upsets you? It is a beautiful thought and something I’m sure most people would agree on.
But how can you do it in a loving way—a way that won’t be heard as criticism? Having spent 35 years listening to couples arguing, I have also had plenty of opportunities to think about how to turn this ambition into a reality.” Source: Why Does My Partner Only Hear Criticism?
First, I’m not a mental health professional but I’m surprised to find an article that addresses this issue without mentioning confirmation bias or non-violent communication. Let’s look into those ideas in hopes it will add to the original article.
Continue reading “Why Does My Partner Only Hear Criticism?”Dating at 50 and up: Older Americans’ experiences with online dating
One-in-six Americans ages 50 and older (17%) say they have ever used a dating site or app. Source: Dating at 50 and up: Older Americans’ experiences with online dating
If you’re over 50, what are your experiences with online dating?
Why Do People Even Use Social Media?
We all have a basic drive to connect with others. Social media helps us do that. Source: Why Do People Even Use Social Media?
Getting in Intimacy-Sync With a Partner
“A couple is out of sync when one partner wants a more intimate relationship while the other wants more time for self. When men and women are young, she is typically the partner who wants more intimacy; kissing, caressing, embracing, and cuddling may be more satisfying to her than intercourse. At midlife, she may develop a need for self-fulfillment that makes intimacy less important to her, while she also has increased sexual self-confidence and finds greater satisfaction in intercourse. Orgasm, more easily achieved, may take on a new significance in her erotic life. But now, inspired by his changing physiology, he wants more tenderness in their lovemaking, and more shared confidences in their afterplay. Intimacy has become more meaningful and important to him. Early in the relationship, she may have complained he doesn’t have enough “we” and too much “I.” Now she is reveling in her “I” time, while he is craving more “we.”” Source: Getting in Intimacy-Sync With a Partner | Psychology Today
Self-Talk: How You Do It Matters a Lot
“What you say to yourself under your breath matters. It can shape how you feel and determine the quality of your life. It also shapes how you see the world, and it is your perception of the world that becomes your reality. For better or sometimes for worse, that little voice in your head helps you through the day or makes each day more difficult to bear.” Source: Self-Talk: How You Do It Matters a Lot | Psychology Today
Speaking to yourself like you would to a best friend
How you speak to yourself matters to your mental health. You will never speak to someone more than you speak to yourself in your head, so, rather than constantly self-criticising ourselves, Katy Moles suggests that we speak to ourselves how we would advise our best friend. Source: Speaking to yourself like you would to a best friend | MHT
Why “Mansplaining” Might Not Be What You Think It Is
An often impulsive mislabelling of poor cross-sex mindreading. Source: Why “Mansplaining” Might Not Be What You Think It Is
Yes, Your Personality Can Change Across Your Lifetime
Personality change is not always a linear process, but it can change. Source: Yes, Your Personality Can Change Across Your Lifetime
Why the Remote-Work Debate Stays So Heated
I work from home and do not have the option of going to an office. I wish that I did! I would like an alternative to working in social isolation.
“The conversation often foregrounds large-scale issues such as productivity and company culture, but the question of where an employee works is intensely personal.” Source: Why the Remote-Work Debate Stays So Heated
Bright, shiny objects! 
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