Author: Todd Lohenry

The internet is filled with bright, shiny objects. Many of them end up here! A @toddlohenry project. Be shiny!!!

Why Does My Partner Only Hear Criticism?

Andrew Marshall writes “If you love someone and they love you, shouldn’t you be able to tell them if something they do upsets you? It is a beautiful thought and something I’m sure most people would agree on.

But how can you do it in a loving way—a way that won’t be heard as criticism? Having spent 35 years listening to couples arguing, I have also had plenty of opportunities to think about how to turn this ambition into a reality.” Source: Why Does My Partner Only Hear Criticism?

First, I’m not a mental health professional but I’m surprised to find an article that addresses this issue without mentioning confirmation bias or non-violent communication. Let’s look into those ideas in hopes it will add to the original article.

Continue reading “Why Does My Partner Only Hear Criticism?” →
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Dating at 50 and up: Older Americans’ experiences with online dating

One-in-six Americans ages 50 and older (17%) say they have ever used a dating site or app. Source: Dating at 50 and up: Older Americans’ experiences with online dating

If you’re over 50, what are your experiences with online dating?

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Why Do People Even Use Social Media?

We all have a basic drive to connect with others. Social media helps us do that. Source: Why Do People Even Use Social Media?

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Getting in Intimacy-Sync With a Partner

“A couple is out of sync when one partner wants a more intimate relationship while the other wants more time for self. When men and women are young, she is typically the partner who wants more intimacy; kissing, caressing, embracing, and cuddling may be more satisfying to her than intercourse. At midlife, she may develop a need for self-fulfillment that makes intimacy less important to her, while she also has increased sexual self-confidence and finds greater satisfaction in intercourse. Orgasm, more easily achieved, may take on a new significance in her erotic life. But now, inspired by his changing physiology, he wants more tenderness in their lovemaking, and more shared confidences in their afterplay. Intimacy has become more meaningful and important to him. Early in the relationship, she may have complained he doesn’t have enough “we” and too much “I.” Now she is reveling in her “I” time, while he is craving more “we.”” Source: Getting in Intimacy-Sync With a Partner | Psychology Today

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Self-Talk: How You Do It Matters a Lot

“What you say to yourself under your breath matters. It can shape how you feel and determine the quality of your life. It also shapes how you see the world, and it is your perception of the world that becomes your reality. For better or sometimes for worse, that little voice in your head helps you through the day or makes each day more difficult to bear.” Source: Self-Talk: How You Do It Matters a Lot | Psychology Today

Bonus: Speaking to yourself like you would to a best friend

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Speaking to yourself like you would to a best friend

How you speak to yourself matters to your mental health. You will never speak to someone more than you speak to yourself in your head, so, rather than constantly self-criticising ourselves, Katy Moles suggests that we speak to ourselves how we would advise our best friend. Source: Speaking to yourself like you would to a best friend | MHT

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Why “Mansplaining” Might Not Be What You Think It Is

An often impulsive mislabelling of poor cross-sex mindreading. Source: Why “Mansplaining” Might Not Be What You Think It Is

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Yes, Your Personality Can Change Across Your Lifetime

Personality change is not always a linear process, but it can change. Source: Yes, Your Personality Can Change Across Your Lifetime

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Why the Remote-Work Debate Stays So Heated

I work from home and do not have the option of going to an office. I wish that I did! I would like an alternative to working in social isolation.

“The conversation often foregrounds large-scale issues such as productivity and company culture, but the question of where an employee works is intensely personal.” Source: Why the Remote-Work Debate Stays So Heated

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Loneliness Harms Your Health

A new analysis finds loneliness and social isolation could lead to early death.

“The analysis found people who experienced social isolation had a 32% higher risk of dying early compared to those who were not socially isolated. Participants who experienced loneliness were 14% more likely to die early compared to those who did not. Researchers explain that’s most likely because social isolation means a lack of contact with people, whereas participants who are lonely have contact with others, but feel less strong connections.” Source: Loneliness Harms Your Health

On a personal note, I thought I was struggling with loneliness but reading this I think the issue could actually be social isolation. Over the past year, I have worked from home, lived with a cat and rarely see other people in my day to day comings and goings. I’m blessed with a beautiful love relationship, but even that is long distance. I’m getting ready to make some big changes to address all these things but I’m still for the most part living in isolation for at least the next month. The key for me is to continue to build good habits during isolation…

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The Secret to Mozart’s Lasting Appeal

Dude. Seriously. There’s music and there’s Mozart…

THIS is the real sh*t

“A new book brings Mozart down from the ether and reminds us about the context in which his music was made.” Source: The Secret to Mozart’s Lasting Appeal

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How Enneagram Twos Can Ask for What they Need (Without Feeling Guilty)

From explaining to the barista that your coffee order is wrong to asserting yourself at your job, asking for what you need can be challenging. Source: How Enneagram Twos Can Ask for What they Need (Without Feeling Guilty)

PS I am a type 2 and the struggle is real… Just sayin’!

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Stoic Advice For Hard Days

In every way the deck was stacked against Epictetus. 2,000 years ago in Hierapolis, he was born into slavery. He wasn’t even given a name–Epictetus just means “acquired one.” He was tortured. The fruits of his labor were stolen. His body was abused. Like a horse that was ridden into the ground and then put down. Later he was unfairly exiled. He went through unimaginable adversity and difficulty and yet he triumphed.

Ryan Holiday
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6 Strange Things That Happen To Your Body When You Kiss Someone

We love kissing, but do you know what happens to your body when you do it? Source: 6 Strange Things That Happen To Your Body When You Kiss Someone

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A Hitch In Accurate Detection of AI-Written Content

Study finds AI GPT detectors misclassify work by non-native English students. Source: A Hitch In Accurate Detection of AI-Written Content

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The Noble Art of Self-Deception

“How is it possible to deceive oneself? Wouldn’t one immediately recognize the trickery if attempted? In reality, we are surprisingly adept at deceiving ourselves, often unconsciously. Psychologists have long understood that people live with various kinds of life lies, but self-deception manifests in many more contexts.” Source: The Noble Art of Self-Deception | Psychology Today

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Sadie

Making my muse Sadie Mastodon famous!

#photo #photography #Photomonday #photos #photograph #photographie #photografie #pic #pics #picture #pictures #foto #Fotomontag #fotos #fotografie #fotograf #fotographie #cats #CatsOfMastodon #cat #Caturday #animal #animal

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Do yourself and your readers a favor

Turn on all the sharing buttons on your blog — including reblog — and make it easier for people to promote your work! In case you haven’t been there for a while, there are new options like AddToAny and Mastodon…

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If Aphrodite…

I asked Google Bard to write a poem to a woman comparing her to Aphrodite in a classical style and this is the result. It is remarkable to say the least…

“If Aphrodite, rising from the sea, Went walking in a modern city street, She would not look more beautiful than thee, with eyes of dark and starry heat.

Her hair would fall like thine in glossy waves, And on her lips would rest the smile divine That makes thy face a thing of heavenly caves, And all the world seem lovelier for thy shine.

Her cheeks would flush like thine with roseate glow, And her white bosom heave with passion’s tide; And all the men would follow her, I know, And worship her as they have never died.

But thou art more than Aphrodite fair, For thou hast heart as well as beauty rare; And so I love thee more than all the air, And all the flowers, and all the stars that are.”

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The Infant Brain Remembers

The experiences we have in infancy can become lifelong memories. Source: The Infant Brain Remembers

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Curating content for your WordPress blog

I’m sharing this quick screencast for any of my fellow bloggers who might want to streamline their curation process with a few simple changes. Let me know what you think in the comments…

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