Tag: Wisdom

Life is not to be endured

More wisdom from Melody Beattie:

“Life is not to be endured; life is to be enjoyed and embraced.

The belief that we must square our shoulders and get through a meager, deprived existence for far-off “rewards in Heaven” is a codependent belief.

Yes, most of us still have times when life will be stressful and challenge our endurance skills.  But, in recovery, we’re learning to live, to enjoy our lives, and handle situations as they come.

Our survival skills have served us well.  They have gotten us through difficult times-as children and adults.  Our ability to freeze feelings, deny problems, deprive ourselves, and cope with stress has helped us get where we are today.  But we’re safe now.  We’re learning to do more than survive.  We can let go of unhealthy survival behaviors.  We’re learning new, better ways to protect and care for ourselves.  We’re free to feel our feelings, identify and solve problems, and give ourselves the best.  We’re free to open up and come alive.

Today, I will let go of my unhealthy endurance and survival skills.  I will choose a new mode of living, one that allows me to be alive and enjoy the adventure.”

Source: this is a quote “Life is not to be endured; life is to be… | turtle_dove on Xanga

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Are You Turned On?

My yogi buddy Jackie Dumaine wrote:

“Everyone has a lightbulb inside of them.

You are the Master Controller of the switch.

Yes, you’re that powerful.

So…

What are you going to do?

My suggestion?

Turn it on.

Oh, and if the switch seems to be stuck –  try yoga.

It’s quite possibly one of the best Light Turner-On Activities I’ve ever experienced.

Namaste.

Is  your light turned on or off?

If it’s off, what can you do to turn it back on?” via Jackie Dumaine – Are You Turned On?.

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Is Nonviolent Communication Practical?

Yellow daffodils

Have you ever heard of Nonviolent Communication? My wife and I have been using it our relationship for almost a year with a great degree of success…

“One of the most common critiques I hear of Nonviolent Communication is that it’s simply not practical. “It would be great if this can work,” the line often goes. “Too bad that in my (school, family, organization) we don’t have the luxury of taking all this time to do all this endless dialogue that it takes to get anywhere. No one would have the patience, anyway.” via Is Nonviolent Communication Practical? | Psychology Today.

Yes, Nonviolent Communication does take time but so does having arguments and recovering from them. Follow the ‘via’ link if you want to know more about Nonviolent Communication…

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Times of Reprogramming

“Do not ask for success unless you’re ready to conquer the behaviors that would sabotage success.” Melody Beattie via Language of Letting Go – May 22 – Times of Reprogramming – SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information.

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Be a Master of Where You Are Now

“Have respect for yourself, and patience and compassion.  With these, you can handle anything.” Jack Kornfield. Go to the source: Be a Master of Where You Are Now | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In.

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Getting Needs Met

“I want to change careers . . .  I need a friend . . . I’m ready to be in a relationship . . .

Regularly, we become aware of new needs. We may need to change our behavior with our children. We may need a new couch, love and nurturing, a dollar, or help.

Do not be afraid to recognize a want or need. The birth of a want or need, the temporary frustration from acknowledging a need before it’s met, is the start of the cycle of receiving what we want. We follow this by letting go, then receiving that which we want and need. Identifying our needs is preparation for good things to come.

Acknowledging our needs means we are being prepared and drawn to that which will meet them. We can have faith to stand in that place in between.

Today, I will let go of my belief that my needs never get met. I will acknowledge my wants and needs, and then turn them over to my Higher Power. My Higher Power cares, sometimes about the silliest little things, if I do. My wants and needs are not an accident. God created me and all my desires.” via Daily Meditation ~ Getting Needs Met – Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group.

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Spend time with your compass!

Nicholas Bate via Mmmm.

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Sadness

Melody Beattie shares this:

“Ultimately, to grieve our losses means to surrender to our feelings.

So many of us have lost so much, have said so many good byes – have been through so many changes. We may want to hold back the tides of change, not because the change isn’t good, but because we have had so much change, so much loss.

Sometimes, when we are in the midst of pain and grief, we become shortsighted, like members of a tribe described in the movie Out of Africa.

“If you put them in prison,” one character said, describing this tribe, “they die.”

“Why?” asked another character.

“Because they can’t grasp the idea that they’ll be let out one day. They think it’s permanent, so they die.”

Many of us have so much grief to get through. Sometimes we begin to believe grief, or pain, is a permanent condition.

The pain will stop. Once felt and released, our feelings will bring us to a better place than where we started. Feeling our feelings, instead of denying or minimizing them, is how we heal from our past and move forward into a better future. Feeling our feelings is how we let go.

It may hurt for a moment, but peace and acceptance are on the other side. So is a new beginning.

God, help me fully embrace and finish my endings, so I may be ready for my new beginnings.” via Language of Letting Go – May 20 – Sadness – SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information.

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It’s that time of year…

Today, my #2 son graduates from Marian University. In honor of this auspicious occasion, here are three commencement speeches that I deem worthy of your time…

Humorous wisdom from an unexpected source:

Maria Shriver:

And, what many consider to be one of the best of all time:

Congratulations, Colin and good luck as you continue your education at PA school…

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Why does life have to be so hard?

“Why does doing this have to be so hard?” I asked a friend one day.

“It doesn’t,” he said.

Challenge: Unquestionably, life can be tough and chal­lenging at times. It hurts. It can be scary and confusing. Many of us have had to garner great amounts of strength and courage to face difficult situations. There are times when endurance and rising to the occasion are important survival skills. It equally important to know when an easy-does-it approach is enough.” via May 18.

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Don’t Stop Living Your Life

“So often, when a problem occurs, inside or around us, we revert to thinking that if we put our life on hold we can positively contribute to the solution. If a relationship isn’t working, if we face a difficult decision, if we’re feeling depressed, we may put our life on hold and torment ourselves with obsessive thoughts.

Abandoning our life or routines contributes to the problem and delays us from finding the solution.

Frequently, the solution comes when we let go enough to live our life, return to our routine, and stop obsessing about the problem.

Sometimes, even if we don’t feel like we have let go or can let go, we can act as if we have, and that will help bring about the letting go we desire.

You don’t have to give up your power to problems. You can take your focus off your problem and direct it to your life, trusting that doing so will bring you closer to a solution.

Today, I will go on living my life and tending to my routine. I will decide, as often as I need to, to stop obsessing about whatever is bothering me. If I don’t feel like letting go of a particular thing, I will act as if I have let go of it until my feelings match my behavior.” via Language of Letting Go – May 18 – Don’t Stop Living Your Life – SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information.

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Does Your Story Empower You?

“Don’t allow your situation to become your world.” Bishop T.D. Jakes

“We all have a story. Sometimes it explains why we can’t do something and other times our story propels us forward. I’ve heard cases where people have the same story such as lack of money, resources, or knowledge and one person eventually starts a successful business while the other is out of work and depressed. One story with completely opposite outcomes.” Go to the source: Does Your Story Empower You? « Positively Positive.

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The Fine Line Between Working Hard and Letting Go

Michael has some good thoughts on the topic at Michael Hyatt’s Blog via The Fine Line Between Working Hard and Letting Go.

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Out of the mouths of babes

Click image to enlarge…

My 7 year old drew a picture of my wife and me having an argument. Blaa, blaa. Changed my life, it did…

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Don’t overdo it

“So, you surrendered. You let go. Now you’re ready to face a particular challenge. So you hunker down and garner all your forces. And you hit the wall again.

“What’s wrong?” you may ask. “I’m doing all the spir­itual things I’m supposed to do. And things still aren’t working. I can’t get anywhere.”

Did you ever try to get a key to unlock a door, and you tried and tried, and the key just wouldn’t open it? The harder you tried, the more frustrated you became. So you stopped trying for a while, relaxed, and tried again. Voila. The key fit perfectly and the slightest turn unlocked the door.

Many of us live our lives that way While some people may not try at all, we may be trying too hard. There’s a gentler way of being in the world, of trying things, doing things, going about our business.

Whether I’m tackling a specific project, enjoying a new relationship, or grinding through some miserable sit­uation, my first inclination is to force myself and try too hard. If one cup of tea tastes good, I’ll drink five. If I want to express love or concern for someone, I’ll overdo it.

“If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well,” doesn’t mean if it’s worth doing, try harder and harder. Doing it well means relaxing and letting the actions unfold—gently, naturally without force. We don’t have to make things happen. We can learn to take our part in letting them happen. It is really okay to ease up a little. We don’t have to think that hard, try that hard, feel that hard, do quite so much. Pull back a little. Relax.

When force and trying harder doesn’t do it, try some­thing else.

Value: “Easy does it” is the value this week.” via May 16.

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Do exactly what you would do if you felt most secure

BrainyQuote via Do exactly what you would do if you felt most secure. – Meister….

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Everybody is a genius, but…

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Challenge: Finish the Sentence: “I am __________ .

I AMGood stuff from Positively Positive this morning…

“Who would you be be if nobody told you who you were?”

Holy Sweet Downward Dog, I don’t know the answer. I don’t know who I’d be.

At that time the question blew me right out my seat.

I came back to my seat fully inhabited as somebody else.

You mean I get to decide who I am? I get to say who I am in the world rather than simply letting someone tell me?

What the what?

For a long time I let the people around me dictate who I was. Sure, I was dealing with depression but the constant reminder that I should smile more, that I was so sad all the time actually had the effect of keeping me in that space. So I decided that was who I was. Sad and depressed.

And that was that about that.

I also have a severe hearing problem and before people knew that important fact they would think I was an airhead or just very checked out. You kind of start to believe it after a while. I’m just a dingbat. I’m just an airhead.

Enough people tell you what and who you are and—what do you know?—you start to decide it’s the truth! You start to accept that’s just the way the cookie crumbles.

Source: Challenge: Finish the Sentence: “I am __________ .” « Positively Positive

The author, Jennifer Pastiloff goes on to say…

You get to decide as many times as you like just who you are. Moment to moment. Breath to breath.

I was a waitress at the same place for thirteen years. Half-heartedly pretending to be an actress. Now I am a yoga teacher (or joyologist as I like to say) and a writer and motivational speaker. No pretending or half-heartedness.

And guess what else? I decided that I am not an airhead, I simply CAN’T HEAR!
Despite what the world told me about my character and who I was. I chose differently.

As I say in my poem “How To Make A Life” you get to decide over and over, as many times as you like , just who you are.

I lead an exercise in my workshops and retreats where I have people finish the sentence I am _____.

You cannot finish the sentence with: I am fat, I am broke, I am tired , hungry, bored, etc.

Let your sentence be something powerful and authentic. Something that you truly believe you are, despite all the buts and ifs.

After all, this is your life sentence. Literally.

For example: if you’ve thought of yourself as just a mom for years (and I know many who have thought themselves that even though the “just” makes me cringe), especially if you have done that, this exercise is profound.

You are the one making the rules.

You get to finish your I am-ness with whatever you like.

Why not? You are the creator of your world.

So here’s who I am. At least today: I am a healer. I am a writer. I am inspired. I am inspiring. I am powerful.

But most of all: I am love.

I lead my Manifestation retreats and workshops all around the world where I provide a safe space for people to connect to the truth of who they really are.

One exercise I ask people to do is to say their “I am-ness” aloud and then pick someone in the room as a partner. They then share their “I am-ness” before looking in their partner’s eyes for three minutes straight, without saying a word.

(It’s intense. Try it with someone.)

Some people weep. Some laugh. Some want to crawl out of their skin and beat the sh*t out of me.

But all know that the person looking in their eyes sees them exactly as who they said they were.

Who are you?

Be brave.

I dare you.

Today’s Challenge is the question: Who Would You be if Nobody Told You who you were?

Add your response below in a comment.  Finish the sentence I am ________.

Fill it in with something powerful and inspiring.

Fill it with you who really are. Despite it all and because of it all.

Contact me to find out how to get powerful temporary tattoos that say: I AM by Conscious Ink if you need a little reminder.

Go ahead and say it. I am ___________.

Source: Challenge: Finish the Sentence: “I am __________ .” « Positively Positive

What will YOU do with this today?

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It’s Not What You’re Seeing – It’s Who You’re BEING That Counts!

I wanted to share SOME of Mastin Kipp’s thoughts with you this morning, but once I got started, I didn’t know where to stop to I curated his entire post for you – it’s that good…

Let’s be SUPER clear about something: it’s not what you DO that matters – it’s who you ARE that matters!

In today’s world, we can get SO caught up in DOING! And we focus on the outward, the job, the career, the money, being important, etc., etc.

And then we come to a time, a breaking point, where all that stuff doesn’t seem to matter so much and we just want to be happy. We could find this breaking point at a young age or at an old age. But at SOME POINT, achievement isn’t enough; we want to be happy dammit!

And this is where the “spiritual” path begins. I say “spiritual” because it’s not really something to take so seriously. If we meditate perfectly, wear all the garb perfectly, chant perfectly, eat vegan, gluten-free and have our green juice, but we don’t have LOVE in our hearts, then we’ve missed the whole damn point.

I’d rather hang out with a Love-centered meat eating “not so spiritual person” than a passive aggressive righteous vegan who has the perfect yoga practice and a perfectly fitting lululemon outfit on.

Don’t get it twisted – the ego finds its sly way into the path. And all the rites and rituals don’t mean a DARN THING if we don’t have Love in our hearts. And if we have Love in our hearts and are being Love, then we don’t need the rites and rituals unless we want to do them because they help to remind us to BE LOVE.

It is in our BEING that we find ourselves and our purpose, not in our DOING. You can have all the material possessions in the world and still be lonely as hell, and you can be broke as a mofo and have Love and be the richest person in the world. Me, I want both! I want to have amazingly abundant material possessions, but first and foremost, I want to keep Love and connection in my heart and remain humble within physical abundance.

But the stuff, the form doesn’t freakin matter! What matters is who we are. What matters is how we show up. What matters is the place that we come from in our thoughts, ideas and communications. What matters is if we are serving or not. What matters is crucifying our egos day in and day out (not because it’s the enemy), but so our hearts can shine through.

Living from the heart space is the goal. And when we get there, nothing else is needed because we realize on an experiential level that we are guided and cared for by The Uni-verse. That all our needs are met and that even though life doesn’t turn out how we want it to, that life turns out how we need it to and that is SO FREAKIN RAD!

The ego’s desires PALE in comparison to what The Uni-verse has in store for you. Your ego can’t dream that big, or Love that big or imagine itself being used for THAT much service.

It’s not what you’re doing – it’s who you’re being that counts.

Source: It’s Not What You’re Seeing – It’s Who You’re BEING That Counts!

See what I mean?

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Climb the highest mountain

“We can climb the highest mountains and navigate the darkest valleys. We can do anything. Just not all at once.” Melody Beattie via May 15 | Language of Letting Go.

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How To Journal Gratitude

FinerMinds Go to the source: How To Journal Gratitude.

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