Tag: Video game

Fake Love, Fake War: Why So Many Men Are Addicted to Internet Porn and Video Games

You know the guy I’m talking about. He spends hours into the night playing video games and surfing for pornography. He fears he’s a loser. And he has no idea just how much of a loser he is. For some time now, studies have shown us that porn and gaming can become compulsive and addicting. What we too often don’t recognize, though, is why.

In a new book, The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It, psychologists Philip Zimbardo and Nikita Duncan say we may lose an entire generation of men to pornography and video gaming addictions. Their concern isn’t about morality, but instead about the nature of these addictions in reshaping the patten of desires necessary for community.

If you’re addicted to sugar or tequila or heroin you want more and more of that substance. But porn and video games both are built on novelty, on the quest for newer and different experiences. That’s why you rarely find a man addicted to a single pornographic image. He’s entrapped in an ever-expanding kaleidoscope.

There’s a key difference between porn and gaming. Pornography can’t be consumed in moderation because it is, by definition, immoral. A video game can be a harmless diversion along the lines of a low-stakes athletic competition. But the compulsive form of gaming shares a key element with porn: both are meant to simulate something, something for which men long.

Pornography promises orgasm without intimacy. Video warfare promises adrenaline without danger. The arousal that makes these so attractive is ultimately spiritual to the core. Get more here: Fake Love, Fake War: Why So Many Men Are Addicted to Internet Porn and Video Games – Desiring God.

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Choose Your Own Adventure

Paths

I get a variation on this email quite often: “I wish there was a job in social media for _____, because I’m really skilled in _____.” What’s fascinating is that the person is waiting for permission, and worse, waiting for someone else to create and open a role for them to fill. My first thought upon receiving this is to ask the person, “Who do you admire in life?” They often cite some famous person. I then ask, “Did someone make that job for them? Or did they choose an adventure that brought them there?” Sometimes, the light bulb goes on right then and there. Other times, well, bless your heart.

Source: Choose Your Own Adventure

Go to the source if you’d like the rest of Chris Brogan’s thoughts on the topic…

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Resolve to Let Go

One of my lovely clients, Jackie Dumaine, shares this on her blog today…

I always become quite reflective at this time of year – and this year is no exception.

As the final hours of 2011 creep around the corner, I’m choosing to take a different approach to the yearly tradition of writing down my goals and resolutions.

I won’t be scribbling the usual “This year, I will do this/that” into a pretty paisley notebook with a fine tipped pen.

This year, my focus won’t be on how I can change this or how I won’t eat that.  It won’t be on staying more organized or achieving new goals.  It won’t be on saving money (although it should be), or meditating more often (another good one).

This year, my focus will be on letting go.

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us. ~ Joseph Campbell

What will I be letting go of?  A lot.  I’m talking mountains of “stuff”.

Emotional stuff, physical stuff, tangible stuff and all that stuff that isn’t real but hops on our back and weighs us down (like the stories we make up about how scary life will be if we let go of all this stuff!)

By letting go, we are able to attain a delicious freedom that can propel us into a world of adventure and magic.

By letting go, we discover the wonder and clarity that come with living a simplified life.

By letting go, we create space for shiny new opportunities that make our hearts hum.

By letting go, we are telling the Universe: I AM NOT AFRAID….

And her response?  “Okay sweet brave one, it’s about time.  Are you ready to start your life now?”

I am.  How about you?

What are you willing to let go of in 2012?

Can you have the courage to know that letting go makes you stronger than holding on?

Source: Jackie Dumaine – Resolve to Let Go

Go to the source and follow her blog if you enjoyed the post as much as I did. Oh, and while your there, tell her she needs to write more often…

Open-mouthed smile

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