Tag: Suffering

Paint Lemon Sleep

Bizarro Blog! via Paint Lemon Sleep.

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The Pain of Fighting Our Feelings

Lori Deschane shares this in the aftermath of her recently burglary…

Have you ever exacerbated difficult feelings by responding to them with resistance?

Although I made peace with my recent burglary shortly after it happened, I started feeling down and anxious at the end of last week. In retrospect, I think there was a connection between that and the painkillers my doctor prescribed when my surgical site started hurting again.

But I suspect I was also feeling the residual effects of everything that’s happened over these past two months. At the time, I didn’t fully understand my feelings. I just knew I wanted them to pass, especially since I was due to get my boyfriend at the airport.

I felt guilty for greeting him under a dark cloud of sadness, frustrated for not feeling as upbeat as I had earlier in the week, and confused because none of it made sense to me.

There were tears, and self-analysis, and self-judgment, until Saturday morning.

I planned to work at a coffee shop I love to create a more positive state of mind. But when I got there, I couldn’t find a parking spot—despite driving around for 20 minutes.

After that, I drove to the activity center in my apartment community where I knew I’d see some friendly faces, only to find my computer wouldn’t connect to the internet. While I repeatedly tried different approaches to fix the issue, I found myself feeling frustrated.

I screamed internally, “Come on! I just want to get online!”

Then I stopped, took a deep breath, and asked myself, “Is it possible I’m not getting what I want, but I’m getting what I need?”

I’d been trying to analyze, overpower, and outrun my feelings when what I really needed to do was stop—stop trying to understand and fix them, and instead accept and surrender to them. via Tiny Wisdom: The Pain of Fighting Our Feelings | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In.

I’ve had internal struggles over my wife’s recent vacation with her family in Italy and have learned more in two weeks of difficulty than I might have in two years of ease. I’m looking to apply Tolle’s wisdom as a mantra in my life…

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Painting Reality

“When Dutch street artist Iepe Rubingh, along with an anonymous crew, decided to ditch the blank white canvas (or a public wall) and opt for “reality” canvas instead, they managed to turn a grey plaza in Berlin into a colorful work of art that turned everyone into accidental artists.

500 liters of environmentally friendly, water-based paint in bright solid shades were strategically spilled onto the city’s Rosenthaler Plaza by the guerrilla troop, from buckets secured to their railway bicycles.

The wheels of vehicles and cyclists then “effortlessly” spread the colors along the intersection, creating a vibrant landscape in downtown Berlin.” via TGIF! Painting Reality – A Colorful Video | FinerMinds.

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…on the Inevitability of Pain

“Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional.” via Pain is Inevitable… « Al K Hall-ic Anonymous.

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Here’s Why Pain Is AWESOME!

“You think your pain and your heartbreak are unprecedented in the history of the world, but then you read. It was books that taught me that the things that tormented me most were the very things that connected me with all the people who were alive, or who had ever been alive.” ~ James Baldwin, writer. via Today’s Quotes: Here’s Why Pain Is AWESOME!.

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Using others to stop our pain

Healing will come when were aware of how we attempt to use others to stop our pain and create our happiness.

via Using Others to Stop Our Pain | Todd’s Perspective.

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Pain At The Pump

Are you feeling it?

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Using Others to Stop Our Pain

Cover of "The Language of Letting Go (Haz...
Cover via Amazon
Melody Beattie has some thoughts I wanted to share with you this morning…

Our happiness is not a present someone else holds in his or her hands. Our well-being is not held by another to be given or withheld at whim. If we reach out and try to force someone to give us what we believe he or she holds, we will be disappointed. We will discover that it is an illusion. The person didn’t hold it. He or she never shall. That beautifully wrapped box with the ribbon on it that we believed contained our happiness that someone was holding — it’s an illusion!

In those moments when we are trying to reach out and force someone to stop our pain and create our joy, if we can find the courage to stop flailing about and instead stand still and deal with our issues, we will find our happiness.

Yes, it is true that if someone steps on our foot, he or she is hurting us and therefore holds the power to stop our pain by removing his or her foot. But the pain is still ours. And so is the responsibility to tell someone to stop stepping on our feet.

Healing will come when were aware of how we attempt to use others to stop our pain and create our happiness. We will heal from the past. We will receive insights that can change the course of our relationships.

We will see that, all along, our happiness and our well­being have been in our hands. We have held that box. The contents are ours for the opening.

God, help me remember that I hold the key to my own happiness. Give me the courage to stand still and deal with my own feelings. Give me the insights I need to improve my relationships. Help me stop doing the codependent dance and start doing the dance of recovery.

Source: March 1: Using Others to Stop Out Pain | Language of Letting Go

Here’s the dirty little secret. This blog is only a public scrapbook of the things I need to remember for myself. If it happens to resonate with anyone else that’s a blessing as well. Did anyone else need to hear this today?

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10 Ways to Overcome a Painful Past

Cover of "The Road Less Travelled (Arrow ...
Cover of The Road Less Travelled (Arrow New-Age)

This is so good…

Author Scott Peck opens his classic book “The Road Less Travelled” with the following phrase: “Life is difficult.”  The line works because it is so true. Life is not easy, yes – but it’s especially not easy if we don’t, or won’t, or can’t move through that truth and then on into the light.

But moving on requires more than simply getting a shovel and burying the past.  And men, I think we all can agree, are typically fairly handy when it comes to using that particular shovel. We’d simply rather not talk about it, and that turns out to be the very worst we can do.

A hurtful past may include a failed marriage, Vietnam, bullying in school, abusive parents, poverty, discrimination, disappointment, bankruptcy, the loss of a parent – or a combination of events. Whatever the hurt, a way forward is always possible if we’re willing to take a few simple steps.

All Pro Dad recommends starting with this list, 10 ways to overcome a hurtful past…

Source: 10 Ways to Overcome a Painful Past | All Pro Dad

Go to the source for the 10 ways…

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