Spiritual Growth – Bright, shiny objects!

Melody Beattie writes:

Willpower is not the key to the way of life we are seeking. Surrender is.

“I have spent much of my life trying to make people be, do, or feel something they aren’t, don’t want to do, and choose not to feel. I have made them, and myself, crazy in that process,” said one recovering woman.

I spent my childhood trying to make an alcoholic father who didn’t love himself be a normal person who loved me. I then married an alcoholic and spent a decade trying to make him stop drinking.

I have spent years trying to make emotionally unavailable people be emotionally present for me. I have spent even more years trying to make family members, who are content feeling miserable, happy.

What I’m saying is this: I’ve spent much of my life desperately and vainly trying to do the impossible and feeling like a failure when I couldn’t. It’s been like planting corn and trying to make the seeds grow peas. Won’t work!

By surrendering to powerlessness, I gain the presence of mind to stop wasting my time and energy trying to change and control that which I cannot change and control. It gives me permission to stop trying to do the impossible and focus on what is possible: being who I am, loving myself, feeling what I feel, and doing what I want to do with my life.

In recovery, we learn to stop fighting lions, simply because we cannot win. We also learn that the more we are focused on controlling and changing others, the more unmanageable our life becomes. The more we focus on living our own life, the more we have a life to live, and the more manageable our life will become.

Today, I will accept powerlessness where I have no power to change things, and I’ll allow my life to become manageable.” via Daily Meditation ~ Powerlessness & Unmanageability – Miracles In Progress Codependents Anonymous Group.

Today, I am thinking about how to apply this to my in-laws…

My mother in law will never love me like a son and my sibling in laws will never treat me like a brother. Three years ago during the ‘summer of forgiveness’, I made amends and was forgiven and yet I remain in their ‘penalty box‘. I refuse to let myself in an close the lid on top of me. I refuse to play a role in their drama. If I’m not going to get what I need it’s not worth the work…

…on Control (toddlohenry.com)

I wanted to share SOME of Mastin Kipp’s thoughts with you this morning, but once I got started, I didn’t know where to stop to I curated his entire post for you – it’s that good…

Let’s be SUPER clear about something: it’s not what you DO that matters – it’s who you ARE that matters!

In today’s world, we can get SO caught up in DOING! And we focus on the outward, the job, the career, the money, being important, etc., etc.

And then we come to a time, a breaking point, where all that stuff doesn’t seem to matter so much and we just want to be happy. We could find this breaking point at a young age or at an old age. But at SOME POINT, achievement isn’t enough; we want to be happy dammit!

And this is where the “spiritual” path begins. I say “spiritual” because it’s not really something to take so seriously. If we meditate perfectly, wear all the garb perfectly, chant perfectly, eat vegan, gluten-free and have our green juice, but we don’t have LOVE in our hearts, then we’ve missed the whole damn point.

I’d rather hang out with a Love-centered meat eating “not so spiritual person” than a passive aggressive righteous vegan who has the perfect yoga practice and a perfectly fitting lululemon outfit on.

Don’t get it twisted – the ego finds its sly way into the path. And all the rites and rituals don’t mean a DARN THING if we don’t have Love in our hearts. And if we have Love in our hearts and are being Love, then we don’t need the rites and rituals unless we want to do them because they help to remind us to BE LOVE.

It is in our BEING that we find ourselves and our purpose, not in our DOING. You can have all the material possessions in the world and still be lonely as hell, and you can be broke as a mofo and have Love and be the richest person in the world. Me, I want both! I want to have amazingly abundant material possessions, but first and foremost, I want to keep Love and connection in my heart and remain humble within physical abundance.

But the stuff, the form doesn’t freakin matter! What matters is who we are. What matters is how we show up. What matters is the place that we come from in our thoughts, ideas and communications. What matters is if we are serving or not. What matters is crucifying our egos day in and day out (not because it’s the enemy), but so our hearts can shine through.

Living from the heart space is the goal. And when we get there, nothing else is needed because we realize on an experiential level that we are guided and cared for by The Uni-verse. That all our needs are met and that even though life doesn’t turn out how we want it to, that life turns out how we need it to and that is SO FREAKIN RAD!

The ego’s desires PALE in comparison to what The Uni-verse has in store for you. Your ego can’t dream that big, or Love that big or imagine itself being used for THAT much service.

It’s not what you’re doing – it’s who you’re being that counts.

Source: It’s Not What You’re Seeing – It’s Who You’re BEING That Counts!

See what I mean?

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