Tag: Sexuality

Pornography For Women — Caution: Controversial Stuff Inside

roflmao!

FinerMinds

Get more here: Pornography For Women — Caution: Controversial Stuff Inside.

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Discovering intimacy

Intimacy is that warm gift of feeling connected to others and enjoying our connection to them.

As we grow in recovery, we find that gift in many, sometimes surprising, places. We may discover we’ve developed intimate relationships with people at work, with friends, with people in our support groups – sometimes with family members. Many of us are discovering intimacy in a special love relationship.

Intimacy is not sex, although sex can be intimate. Intimacy means mutually honest, warm, caring, safe relationships – relationships where the other person can be who he or she is and we can be who we are – and both people are valued.

Sometimes there are conflicts. Conflict is inevitable. Sometimes there are troublesome feelings to work through. Sometimes the boundaries or parameters of relationships change. But there is a bond – one of love and trust.

There are many blocks to intimacy and intimate relationships. Addictions and abuse block intimacy. Unresolved family of origin issues prevents intimacy. Controlling blocks intimacy. Off balance relationships, where there is too great a discrepancy in power, prevent intimacy. Caretaking can block intimacy. Nagging, withdrawing, and shutting down can hurt intimacy. So can a simple behavior like gossip — for example, gossiping about another for motives of diminishing him or her in order to build up ourselves or to judge the person. To discuss another person’s issues, shortcomings, or failures with someone else will have a predictable negative impact on the relationship.

We deserve to enjoy intimacy in as many of our relationships as possible. We deserve relationships that have not been sabotaged. That does not mean we walk around with our heads in the clouds; it means we strive to keep our motives clean when it comes to discussing other people.

If we have a serious issue with someone, the best way to resolve it is to bring the issue to that person.

Direct, clean conversation clears the air and paves the way for intimacy, for good feelings about ourselves and our relationships with others.

Today, God, help me let go of my fear of intimacy. Help me strive to keep my communications with others clean and free from malicious gossip. Help me work toward intimacy in my relationships. Help me deal as directly as possible with my feelings.

via Adult Children Anonymous.

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Fake Love, Fake War: Why So Many Men Are Addicted to Internet Porn and Video Games

You know the guy I’m talking about. He spends hours into the night playing video games and surfing for pornography. He fears he’s a loser. And he has no idea just how much of a loser he is. For some time now, studies have shown us that porn and gaming can become compulsive and addicting. What we too often don’t recognize, though, is why.

In a new book, The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It, psychologists Philip Zimbardo and Nikita Duncan say we may lose an entire generation of men to pornography and video gaming addictions. Their concern isn’t about morality, but instead about the nature of these addictions in reshaping the patten of desires necessary for community.

If you’re addicted to sugar or tequila or heroin you want more and more of that substance. But porn and video games both are built on novelty, on the quest for newer and different experiences. That’s why you rarely find a man addicted to a single pornographic image. He’s entrapped in an ever-expanding kaleidoscope.

There’s a key difference between porn and gaming. Pornography can’t be consumed in moderation because it is, by definition, immoral. A video game can be a harmless diversion along the lines of a low-stakes athletic competition. But the compulsive form of gaming shares a key element with porn: both are meant to simulate something, something for which men long.

Pornography promises orgasm without intimacy. Video warfare promises adrenaline without danger. The arousal that makes these so attractive is ultimately spiritual to the core. Get more here: Fake Love, Fake War: Why So Many Men Are Addicted to Internet Porn and Video Games – Desiring God.

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Luscious Kisses, Sex, and 4 Secrets to Lifelong Love

“In a world captivated by 50 Shades of Grey: Why ‘Mommy Porn’ is Hot, ABC News, maybe it is time to remember that loving kisses are a powerful turn-on — not just a 10 second kiss but a 30 second lip lock that includes running your fingers through each other’s hair or rubbing his bald head which many young men today are sporting. And if he is not a good kisser, teach him how and move on to satisfying sex!

And if you have forgotten the flavor of a really good kiss think back to a time when someone stole a kiss from you and it made you blush.” Full story at: Luscious Kisses, Sex, and 4 Secrets to Lifelong Love | Psychology Today.

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Men’s Top 4 Wishes and Why You Should Grant Them

 

“What do men really want in a relationship and should women be catering to their needs?  The answer is a bit complicated and it appears to differ with age. For those under the age of 40, sex ranked first. For the over 40s cuddling and kissing took the top spot.  Archives of Sexual Behavior. Ever since the Kinsey Institute report this summer regarding relationship fulfillment, I have been curious about men’s wishes.

While it appears that men and women have different desires, in fact many have similar wishes that simply become confused in translation.

One reason for this says Mark Gungor, in his Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage® seminars is that men and women have different brains.  The male brain is compartmentalized, whereas women’s brains are a mass of connected circuits that remember “everything!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QoCXKPh9Zw

In the world of relationships, we know that women want love, commitment, and romance—but what do men really want? After reading through a manuscript from the Beltway Bachelor—and reminding him that no woman could live up to his 160 page ideal—I asked, “What do men really want?”

He replied, “Let me give it some thought.”” Go to the source: Men’s Top 4 Wishes and Why You Should Grant Them | Psychology Today.

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How To Escape? Understand, Really Understand The Rules of Life. Rule 6…

Richard Branson at the Virgin America OC Launch.

I found blogger Nicholas Bate through my friend David Kanigan. Are you following his ongoing series? Here’s his rule #6…

We have been seduced. Even though folk tales, our parents and pop song lyrics have warned us, we love to be seduced. But money, fast cars, sex, drugs and rock and roll do not make us happy-or certainly not beyond the instant application. But research does consistently show that the following will:
Growth and challenge. We human beings love a challenge. Because it gets us to grow. And we are meant to grow. We are not meant to stagnate: we get dulled, jaded, and unhappy. Of course what that challenge is for you,only you can find out. It might be teaching disadvantaged children, it might be becoming a gardener, or building a multi-national organisation.
Nurturing our Nature. But what ‘growth’ is doing, of course, is allowing us to nurture our nature. To take the genetic gifts we have and use them, to enjoy them. Again, no one can tell you what those are. No-don’t try and be Richard Branson-simply be the best version of you that you can be; that’s what nurturing your nature really means. And as you challenge yourself you’ll find out more about what your true nature is.
Do it with passion (or pack it in). And once you are nurturing your nature you will want to do it with passion. You’ll love it. You won’t be able to help it. And if you don’t: it’s telling you something. Pack it in as soon as you conceivably can.
Balance your compass. You know what a geographical compass is. If it is not set correctly, you’re in a mess. You’ll get lost. The same applies to your personal compass. Set it correctly and the path is yours. You’ll get there and you will enjoy the journey. Ensure you know what you want for your (1) career; what are you going to do? How are you going to earn money? (2) mind/body: are you looking after them? How? (3) finances: what state are they in? What needs action? (4) relationships: which ones need some attention? (5) fun: are you having fun-if not, what’s the point? (6) contribution: that’s the one which make us all tick, really. Where’s your contribution?

Source: How To Escape? Understand, Really Understand The Rules of Life. Rule 6 – Nicholas Bate

I like “do it with passion or pack it in”. How about you? Go to the source if you’d like to download his free ebook…

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You Are Enough, Period!

A sketch of the human brain imposed upon the p...
Image via Wikipedia
Mastin Kipp shares this thought today…

Where we get our source of approval from is everything. As children we look up to and make our parents our Higher Power. We think they are perfect, infallible human beings. We eventually learn (some earlier than others) that this isn’t the case. Part of stepping onto and into The Path of our Highest Potential is learning to re-parent ourselves.

This means realizing that our parents are not perfect people and loving them anyway. We realize that The Uni-verse has perfect love & approval for us and that we need not chase. We are approved of and loved as we are, where we are and for who we are right now. This allows us to take a step back and no longer need perfect Love from our parents and instead, we can be grateful for their role in our lives as stewards of our lives instead of masters of our destiny.

Once we begin to heal this process, the other relationships of our lives improve. When we no longer assign magical qualities to our parents, or if we were never loved by our parents or assign magical qualities to other people, we see reality and take our power back. When we know that we are already approved of as Children of The Uni-verse, we no longer need to seek approval in business, with sex, with drugs or with status and stature. We can instead rest in the perfect imperfection of who we already are and let it be.

No longer seeking approval, we now have the confidence, self-esteem and personal integrity to create relationships of a higher caliber. We no longer need to use sex as a way to make us feel loved, but instead as a byproduct of love and intimacy. We no longer are defined by fancy things or big houses, because “stuff” doesn’t validate us.

When we can allow ourselves and everyone in our lives to be imperfect and love them anyways, we have taken a massive leap towards Love.

What would your life look like if you lived it without the compulsive desire to show your parents how awesome you are, or to get their approval? What would your love life look like? What would your professional life look like?

How would your life be different if you KNEW in every cell of your being that you are enough, right now, as is… PERIOD?

via thedailylove.com
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