Acknowledge your pain. Then you can begin to identify the source of it, and in identifying, you can begin to heal. When we open ourselves to emotions, we don’t just get the good ones, like happiness or relief. Feelings are a package deal. We get the entire emotional range.
Pain and suffering are part of the experience of being alive. Things go wrong. Lovers leave us, parents and sometimes children die. We fall, we fail. Don’t hide from your pain.
Don’t bury it under a shell of drugs, alcohol, or shallow achievement. If you hurt, then hurt. Recognize what you’re going through. Then learn to tell it like it is.
God, help me acknowledge the pain in my life instead of trying to mask it with mood-altering substances or mindless busywork. Teach me to say what hurts. Show me what it is that I need to do to heal; then give me the strength to do that.
Take Care of Yourself no Matter What
Some days, we wake up in the morning, and by the time we go to bed that evening, our life has twisted, changed in a way that we couldn’t predict and don’t want. Our worst fears have come true.
Life as we have known it will never be the same again. The problem isn’t just that this tragedy has come along and knocked our lives for a loop, although that alone would be enough. To complicate matters, we now know how vulnerable we are. And we wonder, in that vulnerability if we can ever trust God, life, or ourselves again.
Many years ago, the founders of Alcoholics Anonymous, a spiritually based program designed to help alcoholics recover, cautioned people not to base sobriety and faith in God on the false notion that any person is immune from tragedy. They knew that life would continue to be life.
You are not alone, in your joy or in your sorrow. You may feel that way for a while. But soon you’ll begin to see that many others have experienced, surrendered to, and transcended a similar misfortune or loss. Your pain is important. But you’re not being singled out. Don’t use your misfortune to prove that you were right all along you’re a victim of circumstance, fate, and God.
“God must really love me,” a young man said one day after walking away from a motorcycle accident that should have been tragic.
God loves all of us, whether we walk away pain free or not.
Keep taking care of yourself, no matter what.
God, transform my pain into compassion for others and myself
Sometimes, Relief is Just Around the Bend
I needed to go into the city for errands. It was a chilly morning at the beach, not even 70 degrees. I put on my jacket, got in the car, and headed out. I made the turn onto the canyon road and was struck by the beauty of the fog burning off, playing peekaboo with the canyon walls. It was 94 and sunny when I arrived in town.
I ran my errands and stopped at In-and-Out Burger for lunch. When I got back in the car, the thermometer read 102. It was hot. Traffic was bad, the temperature reached 106 on the freeway, and even the air conditioning didn’t help much.
Finally, I turned back onto the canyon road. The grass was brown and I worried about wildfires they get so bad here.
Soon, I noticed the temperature was down to 94 again, then 90, then 88. The hills turned green. I rounded a corner and could see the Pacific Ocean. The temp was 82. By the time I made it home it was back to 74
I was surprised at the big difference a few miles made. Sometimes, a small change can impact the way we’re feeling a lot. Feeling overwhelmed or pressured? Do something else for a while. Give yourself a treat. Sometimes, the smallest change in our routine can do wonders to change the temperature in our lives.
God, help me see any changes I can make that will have a positive effect on my energy and on the way I feel.
It’s Our Lesson
When you learn your lessons, the pain goes away.
– Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, The Wheel of LifeSometimes, we wait and wait for a painful situation to end. When will he stop drinking? When will she call? When will this financial stuff get better? When will I know what to do next?
Life has its own timeline. As soon as we get the lesson, the pain neutralizes, then disappears.
And the lesson is always ours.Examine your life. Are you waiting for someone or something outside of you to happen to make you feel better? Are you waiting for someone to learn his or her lesson for your pain to stop? If you are, try turning inward. See what the less on really is.
God, please show me what I’m supposed to be learning right now.
Dump it
Sometimes, we don’t have one clear feeling to express. We have a bunch of garbage we’ve collected, and we just need to dump.
We may be frustrated, angry, afraid, and sick to death of something all in one ugly bunch. We could be enraged, hurt, overwhelmed, and feeling somewhat controlling and vengeful, too. Our emotional stuff has piled up to an unmanageable degree.
We can go to our journal and write this whole mess of feelings out, as ugly as it looks and as awkward and ungrateful as it feels to put it into words. We can call up a friend, someone we trust, and just spifi all this out over the phone. Or we can stomp around our living room in the privacy of our own home and just dump all this stuff out into the air. We can go for a drive in our car, roll the window down, and dump everything out as we drive through the wilderness.
The important idea here is to dump our stuff when it piles up.
You don’t always have to be that healthy and in control of what you feel. Sometimes, dumping all your stuff is the way to dean things out.
God, help me understand that sometimes the only thing preventing me from moving forward in my life is hanging on to all the stuff that I really need to dump.
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