Thinks I find along the way
Melody Beattie shares this today…
A friend called me one day. His shiny new car was in the garage for repairs again. “I should have gotten a truck, something practical, that would start every day and get me to work,” he said. “If ever, ever I start screaming that I have to have something and can’t live without it, start screaming back at me until I stop.”
What’s attached to your self-esteem? Continue reading “On attachments…”
I think Jon Swanson is on to something here…
It would be so much easier to follow Jesus if he called us.
If I were at work one day and he walked by and said, “come on, follow me.”
If I were doing what I’ve spent my life preparing to do and he said, “I’ll show you how to use those skills for something meaningful.”
If I were in the middle of daily life and I looked up and could actually hear his voice with my ears and see his face with my eyes and smell whatever he smelled like.
If his invitation to do something worthwhile with my life were real and tangible.
It would be so much easier if Jesus literally said my name and said “Follow me.”
I mean, if that happened, I would never have any questions at all about what he was saying. It would always be clear.
If that happened, I would always be happy just to be close to him.
If that happened, I would be ready to tell all the people I saw at the grocery store when I was buying supplies
Hey! This food? Jesus is going to eat it. Yep. That Jesus. I know him. I’ve watched him do the most amazing stuff! I mean, paralyzed people walking. People with demons? Poof. Gone. People who are sick? Fever, gone, like that. You name it, he gets rid of it.
Hey, that cough? Come on. Let’s talk to Jesus about that. I mean, I know him. He was walking by one day and called out my name. We’re like this. In fact, we couldn’t be any closer if he lived in me. Yeah, I know. Sounds weird. But it’s like that.
If one day I really believed that Jesus actually wants me? Cared about me?
That would be so amazing.
Source: So much easier. « 300 words a day
I must not believe or I wouldn’t act this way. I wouldn’t struggle like I do. What do you think?
One of my favorite authors is Gretchen Rubin of The Happiness Project. Recently, she shared her thoughts on having your own set of personal commandments…
One of the most challenging—and most helpful and fun—tasks that I’ve done as part of my Happiness Project is to write my Twelve Personal Commandments. These aren’t specific resolutions, like make my bed, but the overarching principles by which I try to live my life.
It took me several months to come up with this list, and it has been very useful for me to have them identified clearly in my mind. It’s a creative way of distilling core values.
To get you started as you think about your own commandments, here are my Twelve Commandments:
1. Be Gretchen.
2. Let it go.
3. Act the way I want to feel.
4. Do it now.
5. Be polite and be fair.
6. Enjoy the process.
7. Spend out. (This is probably the most enigmatic of my commandments.)
8. Identify the problem.
9. Lighten up.
10. Do what ought to be done.
11. No calculation.
12. There is only love.
So how do you come up with your own list?
Consider phrases that have stuck with you. When I look at my Twelve Commandments, I realize that five of them are actually quotations from other people. My father repeatedly reminds me to “Enjoy the process.” A respected boss told me to “Be polite and be fair.” A good friend told me that she’d decided that “There is only love” in her heart for a difficult person. “No calculation” is a paraphrase of my spiritual master St. Therese (“When one loves, one does not calculate”), and “Act the way I want to feel” is a paraphrase of William James.
Aim high and fight the urge to be too comprehensive.I’ve found that my commandments help me most when I review them at least daily, to keep them fresh in my mind, and to do this, it helps to keep the list short and snappy. I suspect that Twelve Commandments is too much. Maybe I only need two, “Be Gretchen” and “There is only love.”
Think about what’s true for you.Each person’s list will differ. One person’s commandment is to “Say yes,” another person’s commandment is to “Say no.” You need to think about yourself, your values, your strengths and weaknesses, your interests.
Source: The Happiness Project: To Be Happier, Write Your Own Set of Personal Commandments.
Is happiness an issue for you? You might benefit from Gretchen’s work. I have!
Something good from Karen Salmansohn that I wanted to share with you…
When someone has hurt you – deeply to your soul – it’s tempting to want to shut down and shut off – to give in and give up – to get bitter, resentful, depressed – and all before breakfast!
This soul-shutting-down tendency reminds me of those classic Zombie horror movies! You know how unconscious, soul-less Zombies walk around – thriving mostly in darkness – miserably taking bites out of happy, soulful people? One chomp – then – suddenly – these newly bitten innocent folks find themselves becoming Zombie-like in their behavior. They feel their souls shut down. They crave spending time in darkness. They want to bite others.
Likewise, if you’ve suffered from an emotional Zombie bite, it’s temping to wanna join the Zombie crowd – and shut off your soul – seek dark thoughts – chomp upon another. It’s especially tempting to want to chomp upon the Zombie chump who chomped upon you!
Basically, when you’ve been bitten by a Zombie, you can find yourself feeling the urge to become Zombie-like yourself. But you must resist! You must stay strong! You must keep your soul alive!
How?Source: A Funny But Helpful Analogy For People Who Have Been Hurt Deeply By Another | notsalmon
If you’re intrigued, go to the source. While you’re there follow Karen’s blog and continue getting this goodness in your life…
Now today is Christmas – some of you have already opened your presents, others of you are just getting around to it and yet still some of you haven’t even woken up yet. And then many of you are from other walks of life and so today isn’t as meaningful to you as say others days this month. To all humans, I say – HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
This time of year, no matter what faith system, or lack thereof we may be a part of – we all have one thing in common – this time of year above all else is about LOVE. Loving our Creator, loving ourselves and loving our friends, families and strangers.
Today – and the Holidays (and hopefully EVERY DAY) is a reminder to BE the presence of LOVE on the planet. That is what life is about. We come together this time of year because we truly can’t make it alone.
I think the greatest gift we can give ourselves and others is the gift of Love. Not in some sappy romantic comedy kind of way, no. In a real kind of way. Love isn’t Love if it’s not Love in action. By Loving ourselves, we let others off the hook. We are no longer trading for Love – that is to say, you do “THIS” for me and then I’ll do “THAT” for you. That isn’t Love – that’s horse-trading. Many times though, we have conditional Love because we do not feel as if our needs are going to be met. But when we accept the Love of The Uni-verse in our lives and then express that Love to ourselves, get busy being of service to others and adding value to their lives with our creative gifts, then all of a sudden we have MORE than enough LOVE to give away.
And then, we let other people off the hook for our own happiness – they feel that and we begin to lighten each other’s loads. When we take responsibility for our own happiness and choose to give Love away, we are giving the greatest gift that we could ever give. Because this is why we were born. The Uni-verse breathed life into our lungs because It gave us a gift to give to the world. When we live a life dedicated to being of service and giving that gift, we create miracles in our lives.
So perhaps today we can create a new habit that will come with us into the New Year – let us BE the presence of LOVE in our lives and in the world. Let’s take responsibility for our own happiness, no longer blame others and instead BRING what we feel is missing from life. Let us stop trying to get or take Love and instead set our aim on how we can serve and express our gifts to the world, so that we make the world a better place for someone else – and in doing so we will also be making the world a better place for ourselves.
Let us discover what makes us happy, what makes us come alive and then go out and DO it so we can show up to those we LOVE FULL-FILLED and pour that Love on to them. Let’s take the conditions off of our Love and instead give it away freely, knowing that we only get to keep what we give away, anyways.
May today, this Holiday Season and the New Year bring you Love, bring you JOY and bring you a sense of clarity for what makes you happy – and may you have the courage to walk out your Faith and truly be the presence of Love on this planet – you are the happiness you’ve been looking for.
Source: ‘Tis The Season To Be Love!
Sandra Olic shares this…
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Holidays and Namaste!
Some of you may not know what the word Namaste means or just know it as the salutation yogi’s use to greet each other and when saying goodbye, and perhaps you are wondering what it has to do with the holidays. The meaning of the word Namaste encompasses the spirit of the holiday season, no matter what religion we may or may not practice- The divine, spirit or light in me recognizes the same in you; we are one. The gesture for Namaste is two hands placed together at the heart as we bow the head to the heart, to Love.
The holidays are a time of year when we are collectively vibrating at a higher level because at the heart of all of the presents, holiday parties and festivities lies life’s greatest healer- Love! It truly is a wonderful time of year. Peace, kindness, joy, generosity, appreciation and togetherness are overflowing…
Could you imagine if the spirit of this magical season lasted all year? I’m convinced we would all be much happier and healthier (minus the holiday eating and drinking of course).
Make it a point to connect with people you love regularly, even if you are busy. Life will always be busy but Love isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity and time is one thing that is so easily wasted yet impossible to get back.
Show your appreciation of the people in your world all year. Tell them, write it in a card, make them a meal or give them a small token of appreciation. Sometimes people don’t know how special they are to you until you let them know. Why wait all year to do so?
Spread the holiday cheer all year. The holidays are a time when most people’s level of friendliness goes up a notch and maybe they smile and chat more than usual. Keep smiling!
Source: How To Live NAMASTE
Sounds good to me!
Here in the midst of the holiday season, we’re so busy attending to others’ needs that it is all too easy to forget to take care of ourselves. While buying presents, cooking, and hosting our families and friends, we often push aside our own needs and desires. While the holidays are a wonderful time to be together with our loved ones, they can also be extremely busy and sometimes emotionally fraught, making the expression of self-love all the more important.
Forgetting to love ourselves can lead to seasonal blues, stress and anxiety. And while we may think we’re helping others, we are actually setting a negative example, especially for the children in our lives. Watching mom, uncle or grandma neglect him or herself is not a model we want our children to emulate.
Self-love does not, however, have to be left out of the holidays. I’m delighted to share these tips to help you navigate the holiday season in a way that is loving and considerate of yourself. I’ve developed these techniques through my own experiences and my work as a Body Image mentor and life coach. Following this advice helps my students remain calm and focused during the holidays.
Source: 12 Tips To Assure You Enjoy The Holidays (Not Just Endure Them)!
Go to the source if you’d like to get the 12 tips in detail and Happy Holidays to you…
Tommy Rosen at The Daily Love has a great reminder for me this morning…
The first step in 12-step programs reads approximately as follows: “We admitted we were powerless over our addiction and that our lives had become unmanageable.”The wisdom expressed in this step is amazingly powerful and transformative for everybody, not just those who struggle with acute addiction. All human beings are subject to the human condition, which includes a lot of struggle and suffering along with the joy of being alive. Let’s take a deeper look at the messages this step provides.We are dealing here with two concepts: powerlessness and unmanageability. The unmanageability is a feeling that comes when everything seems overwhelming and out of control. Most people in recovery can relate to this terrible feeling, which almost always seems to accompany acute addiction.
Admitting powerlessness is not something we love to do and yet, it is the cornerstone of a life of acceptance and humility. To admit one’s powerlessness is to understand one’s place in the world. For example, we are powerless over the actions of others. We cannot control other people. Simply understanding this can literally change the course of our life. I struggled for many years trying to “fix” my father. He was so sick and was making poor choices. It hurt me so much to see his pain and to watch the results of his poor choices right in front of my eyes. Truth be told, I became annoying to my father by trying to change him. He needed acceptance and unconditional love, but it was very difficult for me to give these to him. When he died, I thought to myself, “Wow, I’ve expended all this effort trying to make my dad better. It strained our relationship and he has still died, sick and unhappy.” That was a hard one for me to learn from in my recovery, but it has been one of the greatest lessons of my life.
How about when we admit we are powerless over an addiction as the first-step suggests. We can understand the idea that we cannot control others. Yet, it’s a weird thing – and very misunderstood by those who do not know chronic addiction – to not have power over one’s own actions. People might say, “Look how he continues to hurt himself and others. Why doesn’t he stop?” Well, for some people they have literally lost the ability to stop. The thought-emotion-action-reaction pattern is so ingrained in them that they cannot break out of the pattern without outside help. Yet, the minute these people are able to admit their own powerlessness, often quite suddenly, they are able to begin a path of recovery and seek the support they need to succeed on that path. Let’s notice that the word “we” is contained in the first step. This reminds us of the fact that life is collaborative, that healing is collaborative and that we need each other to succeed.
There is an amazing power in admitting one’s powerlessness. It is absolutely counter-intuitive, which is why our logical thinking can get in they way. In recovery you will hopefully come to learn the many ways that you are powerful and you will be blessed indeed not to forget the places where you are powerless.
Tommy’s words also remind me of the immortal words of the Apostle Paul in 2 Cor. 12:10 “That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
I started out to only curate a small part of Mastin’s post this morning but just couldn’t stop. Here’s the whole post in it’s entirety more or less…
Are there any habits that you have that are costing you the things in your life that you truly love? For example, do you love your family but overworking causes you to miss out on them? Do you want to fall in love, but your desire to not get hurt again holds you back? Are you pursuing a professional career because you want to get significance from one of your parents, even though what you are doing doesn’t make you come alive? Are you so focused on the future of where your relationship is going that you aren’t enjoying it in the present? Are you so focused on the potential of someone you are in a toxic relationship with that you ignore the fact that you are unhappy with it, but you cling to the idea that they could change?
What is your current set of beliefs costing you? Are there any behaviors you have that are preventing you from getting what you really want?
For example – did you start a business because you wanted more free time, yet that will never happen? Or because you think it will make you rich, and that will allow you to spend more time with the family, but you have no time for them? Do you work your butt off so you don’t have to stress about money, but no matter what happens, you stress about money? Are you in a toxic relationship because you want Love, but aren’t really getting any?
So many times we do things that are not really in our nature because there is an outcome we want that we could get with much more ease if we were to just accept our nature. There are lots of ways to get what you really want, but first you have to know who you really are! Some people have no idea who they are; others own themselves like crazy!
So, how do you find out who you really are? Well it would be a lot easier if I was working with you one on one, we could get to the core of it rather quickly. But here’s the rub… Remember back over your life to all the moments where you were really alive! What were they? What moments in your life were you totally happy, fulfilled, etc.?
Think back and look at the things in common that you had in each of these moments. These are the things you REALLY want in life. Freedom. Passion. Love. Connection. Growth. Contribution. Joy. Variety.
So, in your current life, what are you doing to GET these things that is actually the OPPOSITE of them? Are you settling to get love? Are you doing things that confine you to get freedom?
What if it were true that you could get everything you wanted now, just by changing your story about what’s possible? What if you could have all the Love you wanted right now if you gave up trying to prove your way into getting Love and just accepted that you were love-able now? How would that change your life? Are you in the rat race because you think winning it will give you something? IF so, remember that even if you win the rat race you are still a rat!
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So, how can you see that it’s possible to already get what you want, right now? Are you trying to get what matters most to you in a backwards way? Can you really get what you want now by changing your story about what you really deserve and what you have to do to get the thing you want most? Have you forgotten who you really are and lived a life to live up to someone else’s expectations?
The desire that you have in your soul to become whatever you want to become is real. It’s a part of you that is calling out to be seen, heard, felt and acted on. Whatever you want to become, know this: you ALREADY ARE.
So stop trying to become it. Instead, act as if you already are it and watch how magically life unfolds.
Instead of pining or buying into doubt – start TAKING ACTION as if you already are what you want to become.
In other words – BE WHAT YOU SEEK!
Start putting yourself in places and environments that are in alignment with your dreams. Want to be an actor? Get your ass to LA or NY and start doing what actors do. What to be a writer? Start taking actions that writers write and be in environments that writers are in. What to get in shape? Put yourself in health and fitness environments. Stop hanging out at McDonalds and start hanging out at the gym. Don’t bring unhealthy food into the house.
Our environment, far greater than anything else, dictates the quality AND trajectory of our life. If you want to be a painter, go be with painters and start creating rituals that a painter would have. If you want to start a business, be around other entrepreneurs, absorb news on entrepreneurs and get busy taking risks like entrepreneurs do.
Also, and this is VERY important – surround yourself with people who already have what you want. If you hang out with people who have never achieved the dream you’re dreaming – they are probably going to give you bad advice. Most people aren’t living their dream – most people are living their nightmare and so they will give you advice on how to live your nightmare, too.
Environment plays a major role in how your life will turn out – so does the types of people you are hanging with. If you want your dreams to come true, start hanging in places where they already are and with people who can help guide your way. It’s possible to achieve your dreams; you just gotta make sure you are on the side of making them come true, instead of doubting that they exist. Show people who are living their nightmare that it’s totally possible to live their dreams by showing them yours. Be a light.
Know that you already are the dream and start taking action until you produce the result in real life. Keep going. Try until it happens and don’t stop until then.
JUST FOR TODAY
I will try to live through this day only
and not tackle my whole life problem at once.
I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me
if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.JUST FOR TODAY
I will be happy.
This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said,
that, “most folks are as happy as
they make up their minds to be”.JUST FOR TODAY
I will adjust myself to what is,
and not try to adjust everything to my own desires.
I will take my “luck” as it comes and fit myself to it.JUST FOR TODAY
I will try to strengthen my mind.
I will study. I will not be a mental loafer.
I will read something that requires
mental effort and concentration.JUST FOR TODAY
I will exercise my soul in three ways.
I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out.
If anybody knows of it, it will not count.
I will do at least two things
I do not want to do – just for exercise.
I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt;
they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.JUST FOR TODAY
I will be agreeable,
will look as well as I can,
dress becomingly, talk low,
act courteously, criticise not one bit,
not find fault with anything
and not try to improve or regulate
anybody except myself.JUST FOR TODAY
I will have a programme –
I may not be able to follow it exactly,
but I will have it.
I will save myself from two pests:
hurry and indecision.JUST FOR TODAY
I will have a quiet half hour
all to myself and relax.
During this half hour, sometime,
I will try to get a better perspective of my life.JUST FOR TODAY
I will be unafraid,
especially I will not be afraid
to enjoy what is beautiful,
and to believe that as I give to the world,
so the world gives to me.
You’d be surprised to know how many emails I get where people are stuck in their lives.
They’re broke, or unmotivated, or in a job they hate, or they can’t find their passion, or they can’t get motivated to get healthy.
And they don’t know where to start.
It hurts to read these emails. It brings back to life the pain I lived through not too many years ago, when I too was stuck.
I know the feeling of despair when you are unhappy with your life and don’t know how to change. When you’ve tried lots of changes, but couldn’t find the discipline to make them stick. When you feel crappy about yourself because you know you should get off your butt and start improving your life, but you’d rather put it off for another day.
Problems go away when you ignore them, right?
I also know that there is really only one way out of this mire of despair.
It’s to take an action, no matter how tiny.
You don’t need to fix everything in your life right now. You don’t even need to fix one thing.
You just need to do one little, miniscule, almost nothing thing.
Make a list. Go outside and take a walk. Get rid of some of your junk food. Clear off your kitchen table. Cancel something tomorrow so you can make time to create something, no matter how small.
Don’t do all of these. Do one. Or half of one, or one thousandth. It doesn’t matter how small — the smaller, the better.
Take that first step. Celebrate that first step. Love the step, not the destination. That step, even the motion of taking the first foot off the ground and moving it forward — that’s everything.
That’s the truth, and you’ll not read it in many self-help books: put every microparticle of your existence into that half step, and be nothing but that half step, and love it with all you have … and your life has changed.
With this half step, everything is different. You haven’t achieved any goals … but you’ve moved. You haven’t created something amazing … and yet, more than ever before, you have.
You’ve created beauty and joy and movement where none existed before, where previously only constriction and paralysis and confusion lived. You have changed the world.
h/t my buddy Steve…
I thank God for this post from Chris Brogan today — I wanted to be sure to remember it and share it with you, too, in case you don’t follow Chris like I do…
We go about our lives quite tangled up with other people’s lives, whether we want to admit that or not. We carry with us tangles from our past connections, and tangles from worries about future events that haven’t even unfolded yet. These tangles affect our choices and decisions and feelings all the time, if we let them.
Untangled
This has been on my mind for a while, as I’ve been learning to see my own tangled self. I wrote about taking back your strings not too far back, but with the context that we let other people twist us up with their own choices. The more we come to see this, the more we can help ourself get untangled.
Yesterday, I let someone’s tangle frustrate me. (Let’s be honest: every day, we let people’s tangles get in the way.) With great visibility comes no small number of critics, and though I’m learning every day how to let people’s criticisms be their own, I’m still occasionally susceptible to prodding. But why should I care about someone’s opinion of me? That comes from their experiences, their tangles, their view of the situation. I don’t know this person, and yet, I carried around frustration all day, slept, and then woke up thinking about him this morning. How un-useful.
I spoke with someone else yesterday whose choice of spouse caused both sets of grandparents to stop talking with her for over a year (tradition thing). Here she is, happy and in love, and looking forward to starting her new life, and because it didn’t follow the tangles of her culture, her blood relatives chose to cut off connections to her. She didn’t tell me this with sorry, only a sense of the fact that it’s unfortunate, but with a smile on her face for what she did have: a loving husband and a future.
We can’t choose how our relatives feel about us. We can’t choose how our loved ones think about us and react to us. We can’t alter how those people at work speak about us when we’re not there. None of that is ours.
You Own Your Head
What you can do, however, is work on yourself, is accept yourself as you are right now, is start to fuel your own personal inner fire of belief without any external sources. It’s not that you don’t value the thoughts of friends and people you love, but instead, that you accept them as simply that: thoughts and input from the outside world. If every time you speak to a group of people, they yawn and look away, accept that maybe you’re boring them, but don’t take it any further than that. Don’t read minds. Just take that information and decide what you want to do about it.
In the above example, maybe you’re talking to the wrong people about the right stuff. If you’re passionate about dance but you’re talking to a bunch of farmers, maybe that’s not a good fit. (Maybe it is.) But own your head, and don’t let their tangles snarl you.
Chris Brogan [who I frequently quote on my business blog] has some great personal insight in this post and I captured quite a bit of it here. You can follow the ‘via’ link if you’ve read this far. His final thought? “accept every thought, opinion, value, and emotion outside of your own as someone else’s tangle, and then try to steer clear of them. Yes, we’d love for the people we love to be happy. But even that isn’t our duty. It’s not our job to make people happy. It’s our job to live in such a way that we hope to positively impact other people’s happiness.” …but first, let’s create our own!!!
Life is difficult. It’s a given! We’re born, we open our eyes, dad misinterprets our cry, mom puts the diaper on too tight, someone else drops our pacifier – and it begins.
But this is how life works. Challenge is built into the equation; learning requires patience; problem solving is a key element to fulfillment; obstacles come our way every day. World leader Winston Churchill gave a speech at his old school in the darkest days of WW2; he’d had a miserable time there and was considered a failure. He walked to the podium and surveyed the crowd of awe-struck students. “This is the lesson,” he said. “Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never – in nothing, great or small – never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense….”
But we also live in this world of entitlement: “’I deserve this.” “I want mine now!” “Children should have everything they want.” “It’s my responsibility to make my kids happy.” “Satisfy me now!”
But, and experience proves this every time, pretty much everything worthwhile comes at the price of investment. It’s not just that the reward is sweeter after the long haul. It turns out that the process of getting from A to B is intrinsically worthwhile – regardless of the payoff at the end. The key to success is perseverance.
However, there are times we and our children should quit something. We do the math and realize the best option is to do something else. But what are the guidelines?
Follow the ‘via’ link if you’re interested in the 10 things to consider…
Today is September 11th, 2011. 11 years ago this date had no significance, but on this 10th anniversary of the Twin Towers falling, 9/11 is a date that will live with us for the rest of our lives as a day that changed us, forever.
The events of that day are a reminder to us of what happens when fear, separation, anger and hate manifest in the real world by actions of human beings.
We beings are capable of such greatness, such inspiration and beauty and yet we are also capable of great acts of terror, genocide and worse.
I went back and watched a lot of the footage from that fateful day in September and, now, 10 years later I still cannot fathom the shock, horror and terror that went down that day. All kinds of acts of darkness are perpetrated on a daily basis and have been since the beginning of man, but what happened on 9/11/01 was big, loud and in all our faces. My heart still yearns, still weeps, and still cries out in rage watching the images of those burning towers.
The numbers 9/11 has been associated with human darkness and evil manifest. And while it is beyond appropriate to be wide awake to what happened on that day that we will never forget, I would like to suggest a new meaning.
Many people died on 9/11. People from all walks of life, financial backgrounds, faith systems, race, gender, and sexual orientation died that day. That day, there were no countries; there were no borders; that day we all wept as citizens of the world as we witnessed the events of the day.
I’ll be the first to admit that I have lived in fear ever since. It’s been a subtle fear. I have felt vulnerable and a subtle uneasiness whenever I fly. To know that things like that can happen in real life and not just movies changed my life forever.
But this year I am deciding to step out of fear. Life is for the living. Those who participated in the acts of that day will have won if we continue to live in fear.
Fear is what they wanted from us and fear is what they got. But no more. Not from me. And if you have been living in fear, then I hope not from you either.
Instead of 9/11 being numbers that remind of how so many died, let us honor those that died and let’s make 9/11 remind us of how we are going to live.
Life is short and we don’t know how long we have; 9-1-1 is an emergency number; let us make it an emergency to live our dreams out loud. I would venture to make a bold claim that it is UNPATROTIC to live in fear. Our Founding Fathers are cheering us on as we step back into creating the American Dream and as we peel back the layers of fear that have been placed there for 10 years and reinforced every year since.
We have been given the right to the pursuit of happiness.
We cannot pursue what makes us happy from a place of fear. If we really want to pay back those that brought down the Towers, then let’s get busy living our dreams and shining our Light. Those dark acts cannot hold us back. We must remember the terror of that day, but not dwell on it. We must always remember and honor those that died that fateful Fall day, but not stop our lives in the process.
Life is for the living.
I say that from now on we declare September 11th as a day we will all live free from fear and honor those that died by living FULLY in pursuit of what makes us happy.
This has been the hardest and most emotional blog I have ever written. I am overwhelmed with the weight of the events of that fateful day in September and at the same time I am inspired by the American Spirit to overcome, to persist and to shine when all seems dark. All of the world wept for us that day and they are weeping for us again, today.
Let us never forget what happened. And let us never let those that seek to instill fear into our lives win. Let us LIVE OUTLOUD, let us DECLARE OUR LOVE and let us love one another.
Today, there is no male or female, there are no religious differences, no gay or straight, no race division; today we are all citizens of the world collectively as one honoring those that died by choosing to live.
I am honored to be with you on this day. Let’s make our lives GREAT!
His perspective is much better than mine. Me? I think we’ve forgotten the lessons of 9/11 and that we have the attention span of gnats when it comes to something important like this. What are your thoughts today?
Here’s a really good ‘rant’ from Kute Blackson…
“It takes courage to really live. It takes courage to really live with your heart, body, mind and soul wide open. You can live your life by taking from the world. Or you can realize no matter what you take you cannot take any of it with you. Then you wake up to what you are here to give and who you are becoming in the process of life itself. When you die. No iphone. No ipad. No Gucci. No Mercedes. No big house. Just you. Who are you becoming?” Source: All Of Us Die, Few Of Us Truly Live, Will You Be One Of The Few?
Please go to the source and read the rest of his perspective and don’t forget to watch his video…
Sorry, but I couldn’t help but share this excerpt, too…
“There is a reservoir of riches within you. The more you tap into the riches inside, the more you are free and the more truly powerful you become. At some point you might fulfill every desire you can imagine. But then you will surely reach a point of dissatisfaction. How many cars can you drive? How much food can you eat? How much sex can you have? How many outfits can you wear? The moment you hit a point of dissatisfaction is the beginning of growth. You have outgrown old things that you thought brought you fulfillment. If material things were going to make you happy then we would be the happiest generation in human history. True riches are not material. You can have everything, yet still be poor inside. You are poor when you are not growing. You are poor when you cannot give or receive love. You are poor when you cannot see your own beauty. You are poor when you are dependent on external things to validate you. You are poor when you are stuck in narcissism. You are poor when you waste your time on petty resentments and gossip. You are poor when live in fear. You are poor when you live in the future and miss the beauty of this moment. At some point in life, beyond theory, you realize that you will die. Accept it. Face it. Embrace it. Then you ask yourself. “If I am going to die and I don’t know when, then how am I going to truly live my life in a way that is meaningful, now?”” Source: All Of Us Die, Few Of Us Truly Live, Will You Be One Of The Few?
Thanks for sharing this, Kute…
1. “The only real valuable thing is intuition.”
2. “Imagination is more important than knowledge.”
3. “The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.”
4. “Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
5. “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.”
6. “The gift of fantasy has meant more to me than my talent for absorbing positive knowledge.”
7. “Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.”
8. “The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.”
9. “Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.”
10. “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”
11. “The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.”
12. “Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.”
13. “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the the universe.”
14. “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.”
15. “When you sit with a nice girl for two hours, it seems like two minutes. When you sit on a hot stove for two minutes, it seems like two hours. That’s relativity.”
16. “If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.”
17. “What really interests me is whether God had any choice in the creation of the world.”
18. “A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be.”
19. “A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?”
20. “A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?”
21. “Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.”
22. “Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.”
23. “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”
24. “Intellectuals solve problems, geniuses prevent them.”
25. “I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.”
26. “I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”
27. “I think and think for months and years. Ninety-nine times, the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.”
28. “The value of a man should be seen in what he gives and not in what he is able to receive.”
29. “Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value.”
30. “We still do not know one thousandth of one percent of what nature has revealed to us.”
31. “You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I’ve only ever had one.”
32. “If you can’t explain it simply, you don’t understand it well enough.”
33. “It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”
34. “Not everything that counts can be counted; and not everything that can be counted counts.”
35. “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
My favorite is #7. You?
We all do it sometimes and, whether it is conscious or unconscious, it is a sure fire way to crap on the present moment. It is living life based on a future that may or may not ever happen. I call it “If-then” thinking. It sounds like this: “If so and so happens, then I will begin to start living. Then I will be happy.” Maybe you do not realize how big a role if-then thinking can play in your life. Take a moment and name something you’d like to have. For some folks, it’s a promotion. “If I get that promotion, then everything will be okay.” Others might be thinking about finding a partner. “If only I could find the right girl or the right guy, then I would be happy.” Some would like to get out of the wrong situation. “If I leave my boyfriend, then I will feel free. Or, if I divorce my wife, then it’s all good.” And still others think it’s about the money or the car or the house, “If I had a lot of money or a phat crib, then I’d get recognition, then I’d get the sex and then I’d have the power…” Blah, Blah, Blah!
Look. There is no way to live in the present moment, to appreciate life and to be a successful person, while you are stuck in If-then thinking. There will always be an underlying sense that something is wrong or missing, which is preventing you from being content. Actually the only thing preventing you from being content is the thought that you are not. I define contentment as looking at life without wishing it was different. It is a highly advanced state of mind that does not come naturally, but which is available to us all if we work for it. For effect, I will quote a rather coarse friend of mine who once stated, “If-then thinking shits in the face of contentment.”
Follow the ‘via’ link if you want more…
Now.
Your parents owe you nothing.
They have already given you everything…
Life itself.
When you stop making them responsible for what you feel today, you access your power to really live.
Your parents OWE you nothing today. They gave you the most amazing gift of birth and life. They don’t OWE you respect, apologies, or money. When you can own this you free yourself and are no longer dependent on them for your happiness. Instead of living at the mercy of your past and simply being a reaction to your parents’ actions, you cut the umbilical cord and become free to create a life you choose.
Each moment you hold onto resentment, anger, blame, about the past, you are killing your present. What happened is done and nothing you do, or say now will change what happened. It is done.
Often we refuse to let go, and hold onto the anger at our parents because we feel dignified in doing so. They didn’t give us what we wanted. They weren’t there for us in the way we needed. They abused us, beat us, abandoned us, manipulated us, molested us, or were mean to us.
Yes, you are right. They were not right or justified in what they did.
However: “Do you want to be right or free?”
“Is being right making you happy? Is holding onto being right changing them?”
Each moment you hold onto the resentment, you keep yourself stuck in a prison of victimhood. You are not responsible for what happened to you as a child. It happened. You were young back then.
But now, today, you are responsible for what you choose to do.
1. Computer Time
Shopping, Gaming, Chatting, Emailing, Working, Couponing, Downloading, Blogging, Reading, Researching, Networking—there are a ton of things to do on the computer! I don’t care what they say, for me it is a time sucker, not saver!
2. TV
It doesn’t even matter what’s on the screen. The addictive glow is enough to induce a trance and shut out the rest of the world. If this is your preferred method of pushing your spouse away, then get a TV timer and set specific quantities of time that upon which you both agree.
3. Phone Conversations
We sure do like to talk! Family members, friends, doesn’t matter. We may have just seen them, but we’ll still pick up the phone and engage in a conversation! Sometimes your spouse will notice and make a comment like, “What could you possibly still have to talk about?” Ouch! It’s time to step away from the phone!
4. Hyper scheduling
Some people are natural social coordinators. We keep the parties, classes, trips, events, and practices scheduled to the tee! All of those plans can occasionally make life hectic. If you are not as socially minded, you look forward to enjoying some down time at home. It’s your haven. Schedule some time each day that will allow the family to unwind. Each week make sure that you’ve blocked some time for all of you to just hang out together at home. Resist the urge to invite anyone else over.
5. Quiet-less House
This one is a stark contrast to the hyper-scheduling spouse. Toddlers and young kids waking up in the middle of the night should be the exception, not the norm. After several stress-filled hours at home (maybe right around dinnertime), stress starts to creep into your shoulders, and you can actually hear the wrinkles furrowing into your brow! If your home is in a constant state of harried activity and noise, you and your spouse will suffer from attention-deficit-disorder! It is imperative to create a restful home for at least a portion of the day.
6. Obsessions
Be it a clean house, germ phobia, paranoia, hoarding, eating, or even exercising. The rituals we obsess about will bump our spouses from their rightful spot as first on the priority list. Identify it, and seek professional help.
7. Body language
You’re thinking it, your body’s showing it, and they’re getting the hint: It’s not gonna happen tonight, baby! Stop hunching your shoulders, put on something appealing, brush your teeth and smile because somebody loves you! Don’t let the stress of the day rob you of intimacy with your spouse.
8. Shopping Frivolity
This one is not just about pushing your husband or wife away, financial discord is a marriage killer. If he’s a saver and you’re a spender, get some guidance on how to live and love on a budget. And keep your word. If you have a budget, stick to it. If you’re running up to the store for one quick thing, be back at the agreed upon time instead of wandering the mall or the home-improvement store in an effort to escape your life at home.
9. Making a List
Do you keep a constant running tab in your mind of your spouse’s mistakes or wrong choices? We know it’s hard to let them go. But eventually that list of wrongs will move quickly to a list of resentments, then to bitterness—which will lead you to a very unhappy life. An unhappy life leads to an unhappy marriage, and an ugly divorce. Incorporate forgiveness immediately.
10. Your kids
At almost the exact moment our perfect little bundle arrives, we’ve forgotten how they got there. Remember, they were born because two people fell in love. Your spouse comes first.
11. Yelling…
Bright, shiny objects! 
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