Grow Through It!

The Daily Love via Visual Inspiration: Grow Through It!.

Good news! Fear is an opinion, not a fact!

notsalmon via Good news! Fear is an opinion, not a fact!.

Connecting some dots on ‘boundaries’

  1. Everything I’ve ever curated on ‘boundaries’…

“Yes” Doesn’t Count if you can’t say “No” – Why Clear Boundaries are Important in Intimate Relationships

English: A young woman and man embracing while...

I found this over at Psychology Today:

Most people think of an ideal romantic relationship as a union of two inseparable beings forged into one heart, one mind, and one dream. If either partner has a conflicting desire, he or she too often does not express it. They consciously or unconsciously choose to protect the fantasy of perfect compatibility, but may not realize the limitations that are wedded to that decision.
Eventual conflicts are not as noticeable early when relationships are new. The joy of new discovery and lustful connection often eclipse any disagreements that might arise. Newly-in-love partners too often do not want to know anything about each other that could threaten the perfection they cherish. Both may choose to leave well enough alone even if the result is incomplete or inauthentic communication. In the void of unexpressed conflicts, the partners often want to maintain the illusion of a perfect match.

“He finishes my sentences before I even know what I’m going to say.”

“She anticipates what I want before I tell her.”

“We agree on everything. It’s amazing.”

“It’s so easy to be together. We love all the same things.”

Sadly, those constructed realities of perfect compatibility cannot sustain over time. People cannot feel genuinely loved if their partners are not aware of the other’s core feelings and desires. They can only keep renewing their love if they can face their conflicts openly and work through them.

That requires that both partners are willing to follow these six principles:

They are able to say what they need from their partners

They know what they are able to offer

They honestly share those thoughts and feelings

They listen to their partner’s needs without becoming defensive

They have or are willing to learn the skills to negotiate their differences

They respect each other’s conflicting desires

To make these principles work, partners must be clear from the beginning of their relationship to set clear boundaries that they both agree to honor. Boundaries are like the borders between countries. They can be barriers to communication and cooperation, or viable interfaces for exchanging ideas and resources.

When beautifully used in intimate relationships, they are symbolic lines of demarcation that help partners understand their differences while they seek whatever ways are necessary to authentically connect. Only the acceptance of those known similarities and differences can keep partners truly validating their mutual needs.

Healthy boundaries should be fluid and openly susceptible to changes by either partner during any time in their relationship. They hopefully know or are willing to learn what is personally important to them and make every effort to share those thoughts with each other. By working together over time, they learn to quickly recognize when they are in agreement, when they need to negotiate, and when they must turn down a request that could destroy their personal integrity.” Get more here: “Yes” Doesn’t Count if you can’t say “No” – Why Clear Boundaries are Important in Intimate Relationships | Psychology Today.

Love Yourself First!

I don’t think you can accomplish much in a relationship if you aren’t bringing YOUR best every day. On the surface, self-love sounds ‘wrong’ but it’s the right thing to do! The Daily Love via Visual Inspiration: Love Yourself First!.

Jeremiah 17:5-10

Cover for a NIV Bible

Trust in your higher power, not in the people around you!

5 This is what the Lord says:

“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,

who draws strength from mere flesh

and whose heart turns away from the Lord.

6 That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;

they will not see prosperity when it comes.

They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,

in a salt land where no one lives.

7 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,

whose confidence is in him.

8 They will be like a tree planted by the water

that sends out its roots by the stream.

It does not fear when heat comes;

its leaves are always green.

It has no worries in a year of drought

and never fails to bear fruit.”

9 The heart is deceitful above all things

and beyond cure.

Who can understand it?

10 “I the Lord search the heart

and examine the mind,

to reward each person according to their conduct,

according to what their deeds deserve.” via Jeremiah 17 NIV | YouVersion.

Be what you want to attract

notsalmon via Love This @SerenaDyer Quote!.

Stop Reading This (and Start Doing More)

Sorry, but sometimes when I start curating an article, I just can help but grab the whole thing! Justin Miller writes:

Nike’s slogan, Just Do It, goes far beyond the athletic field. It really can serve as a mantra for a successful life.

But in order to turn “Just do it” into a mission statement for living wisely, it’s important to get off the couch, take a hard look at your life and fix what’s broken – without beating yourself up about what might have been.

So wrap up your reading, grab a piece of paper to take down some notes and get ready to make some changes. It’s time for your new life, and that time starts NOW.

Forget regrets

Don’t let past mistakes rob you of your future. It’s easy to look back and see how our mistakes have creates bumps in our road of life, but that doesn’t mean they have to become a compete roadblock that robs us of our future. Regret provides an opportunity for growth. Stop shoulding all over your self. I should have done this. I should have done that. There’s plenty more to get done. Get started today!

Take a cue from their actions, and forget the regret, opening the doors to a different, brighter future.

Assess your needs

Take time to think hard about what  it really is you want to accomplish in your life, and look at what you’re doing that will make that possible. Also think about the things you may be doing right now that are holding you back.

Erase the things that prevent your dreams from seeing fruition, like the after-work drink that turns into ten and prevents you from being on top of your game the next day, and focus on what works.

Ask yourself this question every day. What is one thing I can do right now that will guarantee I have a great day? What is one thing I can stop doing right now that almost certainly guarantees a bad one.

Surround yourself with greatness

Make sure that the people you are hanging out with are people you admire, people who are living a life that you want for yourself. The close proximity to success is a great way to make it part of your own world. They say you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.

The time is now

There’s never the perfect time for taking action. If you wait around for perfect conditions – when I lose weight I’ll do it, when the economy looks better I’ll try to branch out – that day will likely never come.

Try to look at today’s conditions as right, no matter what they are, and work with what you’ve been given. You always have the greatest resource available to you. That resource being choice. You choose to take action or not.

Break it down

If a task seems completely unmanageable, break it down into smaller parts.

If you want to write a book, but the idea of it is so overwhelming you can’t seem to get started, it pays to start small. Write a page a day, and within a year, you will have written 365 pages, bringing you that much closer to your goal.

No place for procrastination

Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today. Taking charge now will not only leave tomorrow free for tackling some other project, but will also erase the guilt you feel when you do procrastinate.

Just take a deep breath, grab the paperwork, and do it. Write the first page, sign up for the gym membership or send out a resume to the firm where you’ve always wanted to work. You can’t get the job if they don’t know who you are.

Focus on the essentials, and let the other things wait

Sure, you’d like to volunteer, plant a garden, get a degree, and take a vacation.  Eventually, you will do all those things. But in the hectic, stress-filled now, choose the most important and most pressing of your goals, and weed out those things that can wait.

Don’t be afraid to say no to the one-acre garden plot and plant a container garden or a few pots of herbs instead. Take a single class as you aim for a degree and plan a weekend away to Vegas with your partner or some friends, making it a temporary stand-in for that backpacking trip across Europe.” via Stop Reading This (and Start Doing More).

The 21 Best Organic Snacks

I’m not sure about the integrity of this list; there’s not a raw vegetable in sight! Seems to be mostly packaged foods but if that’s your thing, you can get more here: healthy snacks list | The 21 Best Organic Snacks | Rodale News.

Calvin on perspective

Calvin and Hobbes Comic Strip, July 15, 2012 on GoComics.com.

It’s A New Start!

The Daily Love via Visual Inspiration: It’s A New Start!.

Get the Guilt Stain Out

“Nagging guilt is like gray paint splashed over life’s sparkling moments” Sally Shannon. Get more here: Get the Guilt Stain Out « Positively Positive.

Classic!

via Instagram

Words…

Alltop Recovery RSS via Words ….

Make fat pay!

Get out there and make your fat cry this weekend!!! ..MOTIVATION POSTER: Make fat pay.. «.

Blast from the past

Seen on Highway 42 in Algoma, WI
via Instagram

The Nine Healthiest Alcoholic Drinks

Among the 9?

Guinness

Ingredients: Magic and Unicorn kisses

Guinness used to have a slogan: “Guinness is good for you!” Well, it really kinda is. First off, despite how thick it is, its way lower in calories than you think—128 calories per 12 ounces. Not bad. Because its made from more whole grains than lager especially mega-brewery stuff, its full of nutrients. In fact, its been shown to have similar antioxidant properties to red wine. Want more? In 2003, the University of Wisconsin discovered that consuming Guinness may help the reduce of blood clots and heart problems.” Get the rest here: The Nine Healthiest Alcoholic Drinks.

What if nothing had the power to make you unhappy?

notsalmon via What if nothing had the power to make you unhappy?.

A Letter from Your Calling

“Every calling is great when greatly pursued.” ~Oliver Wendell Holmes via A Letter from Your Calling | Tiny Buddha.

Why we need to keep growing

“Our lives improve only when we take chances and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.” ~Walter Anderson via Why We Need to Keep Growing: Lessons from Firewalking | Tiny Buddha.

One day at a time…

Melody Beattie writes:

Recovery programs and religions teach many of us to live one day at a time. When my son died, even one day at a time was too much.

“Just stay present for each feeling,” a friend suggested one day. “If you’re numb, be numb. If you’re sad, cry. If you’re overwhelmed, be overwhelmed.” Being fully present for each emotion—and for each moment—isn’t just a grief-survival tool. It’s a practical and valuable way to live life.

Application: Being present may he particularly useful when we are going through a difficult time, dreading what we are going through, not knowing what’s coming next, or starting something new. It’s also helpful when we find ourselves moving too fast, overly distracted, worried, anxious, overly focused on outcomes, living in the future or the past—or when we find ourselves incon­venienced by wearing those concrete boots.” via July 13.

When my wife was in Italy and I was overwhelmed with running a business and filling in for her, sometimes I had to scale back to a minute or less but reducing life to bite sized chunks helps!

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