“Anxiety is often our first reaction to conflict, problems, or even our own fears. In those moments, detaching and getting peaceful may seem disloyal or apathetic. We think: If I really care, I’ll worry; if this is really important to me, I must stay upset. We convince ourselves that outcomes will be positively affected by the amount of time we spend worrying.
Our best problem solving resource is peace. Solutions arise easily and naturally out of a peaceful state. Often, fear and anxiety block solutions. Anxiety gives power to the problem, not the solution. It does not help to harbor turmoil. It does not help.
Peace is available if we choose it. In spite of chaos and unsolved problems around us, all is well. Things will work out. We can surround ourselves with the resources of the Universe: water, earth, a sunset, a walk, a prayer, a friend. We can relax and let ourselves feel peace.
Today, I will let go of my need to stay in turmoil. I will cultivate peace and trust that timely solutions and goodness will arise naturally and harmoniously out of the wellspring of peace. I will consciously let go and let God.” Source; November 13: Peace | Language of Letting Go
“Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Step Three of Al-Anon; Surrendering to a Power greater than ourselves is how we become empowered. We become empowered in a new, better, more effective way than we believed possible. Doors open. Windows open. Possibilities occur. Our energy becomes channeled, at last, in areas and ways that work for us. We become in tune with the Plan for our life and our place in the Universe. And there is a Plan and Place for us. We shall see that. We shall know that. The Universe will open up and make a special place for us, with all that we need provided. It will be good. Understand that it is good, now. Learning to own our power will come, if we are open to it. We do not need to stop at powerlessness and helplessness. That is a temporary place where we re-evaluate where we have been trying to have power when we have none. Once we surrender, it is time to become empowered. Let the power come, naturally. It is there. It is ours. Today, I will be open to understanding what it means to own my power. I will accept powerlessness where I have no power; I will also accept the power that is mine to receive.” Source: November 11: Surrender | Language of Letting Go
“A definition of Interdependence is, “a reciprocal relation between interdependent entities.”
The key word here is: “reciprocal”. Interdependence can be thought of as a relationship where each party gives and receives from his or her own internal overflow. Which is TOTALLY different than “codependence” which can be thought of as being “addicted to someone”.
Another way to look at it, spiritually, is this:
A codependent person makes someone else his or her Higher Power.An interdependent person knows that The Uni-verse is their Higher Power and keeps their focus on that, while choosing to be in a relationship with someone else who is also looking to The Uni-verse to fulfill them…
You see, when we make someone else our Higher Power, we are REALLY setting ourselves up for pain. This is a top cause of pain in relationships and of break ups. We are looking to someone else for something they can never give us – which is perfect and unwavering Love. There is only one place unwavering Love comes from and that is The Uni-verse.
The Love of The Uni-verse never changes; other people change all the time. When we keep our eyes on The Uni-verse and surrender to It’s will for us, we take everyone else off the hook for our happiness. We no longer seek to take Love from them, but to show up from a place of overflow and give Love to them. This kind of relationship creates two really great givers and FORgivers. This is the cornerstone of having an awesome and long-term relationship.
Are you making a person your Higher Power? Are you ready to take your eyes off of them and put them towards The Uni-verse and accept It’s perfect Love for you? Can you see yourself and those you are in relationship with as imperfect human beings who are fallible and Love them anyways, not because they are fulfilling your every need, but because it is Love that is who you really are? Do you think you might be addicted to someone?” Source; A Top Cause of Relationship Pain & BreakUps!
Of course for me, the Uni-verse is Jesus, but Mastin Kipp makes brilliant sense here. For me, anyway. As Gibran said “Do not say I have found THE truth, but I have found A truth”. Kipp and his site have really been a blessing to me as I try to take a healthier perspective on relationships…
One thing men are very talented at is getting into trouble – especially when they are husbands. Sometimes we’re thoughtless, sometimes we’re forgetful, sometimes we’re selfish, sometimes we’re downright mean. More often than not we get ourselves in deep water because we are – quite simply – clueless.
Regardless of how we got there, trouble is a place we need to vacate, and fast. We need grace, we need understanding and we need forgiveness.
Forgiveness is a sweet and a beautiful thing. But forgiveness can neither be earned nor demanded – it has to be given, as a gift. However, rather than skulk around in hiding, there are a number of things All Pro Dads can do to facilitate the conditions in which forgiveness might possibly thrive.
It’s important to remember that you’re not so much trying to get out of trouble as you are working to heal the relationship. That’s something that requires self-evaluation and humility. So try these 10 Ways to ask your wife for forgiveness…
There is nothing easy about being a dad. Especially nowadays, if conversations around the water-cooler are anything to go by. Well, we hear your pain. But an honest look at history reveals a—well—comforting familiarity to the foundational premise.
Fact is; dads have been throwing their hands up in the air for literally thousands of years. Fortunately for us this means we don’t have to reinvent the wheel. The iPod, maybe. But the wheel, no.
While children were frustrating the dads of yore, the teachers of yore also came up with their own ideas. So we took a look:
“10-Ways to teach your son to fight Romans” didn’t seem PC.
“10-Ways to marry off your daughter before she becomes a teenager” also didn’t work for us.
“10-Ways to plague the Egyptians” wasn’t going to pass muster with the State Department.
The good news, however, is that we did find the following—more appropriate—10 things scripture says about being a father.
Often, couples believe their problems are the result of the other person’s actions. It’s easy to avoid responsibility for our problems by blaming someone else. But in the long-haul, admitting mistakes and owning up to our part of the problem is the single most powerful predictor of turning something bad into something good. Couples need to realize that it’s not who’s wrong, but what’s wrong that counts.
2. Hope: Believing that Good Ultimately Triumphs
The foundation of hope is belief. We must believe that the kind of marriage we want is possible. Hope keeps love alive. Stop hoping and marriage dies.
3. Empathy: Walking in your Spouse’s Shoes
A spouse must be aware of what their spouse is feeling and what’s behind that feeling. Empathy involves both the head and the heart. Many of us do one or the other pretty well; we either feel our partner’s pain with our heart, or we try to solve their problem with our head. To do both can be a challenge. But that is what empathy is all about.
4. Forgiveness: Healing the Wounds
In a good marriage, both husbands and wives are quick to ask for forgiveness and to grant forgiveness. The simple words, “I was wrong. Will you please forgive me?” are magical in marriage. Forgiveness was designed to heal the deepest wounds of a human heart.
5. Commitment: Loving for Life
No matter how long a couple has been married, commitment may be the most effective tool good marriages use in battling bad things. Without commitment and the trust it engenders, marriages would have little hope of lasting.
In the face of difficulty, the key is to stay committed to your spouse and work together. Sit down with your spouse tonight and discuss how you are doing in each of these categories.
As the Apostle Paul said “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” I’m struggling with many of these issues right now, trying to do the right thing with my wife despite manipulation from her family. Don’t they realize we have enough drama in our lives without more from their Karpman Drama Triangle?! Apparently not — the problem is that other people are unmanageable and the only thing I can manage is me…
After I left treatment, praying in the morning became part of my routine. I prayed as though my life depended on it, because it did. I didn’t feel like I had begun my day properly unless I started it with a recovery prayer, asking for God’s help and guidance.
After my son died, I was so angry about his death that I stopped my morning routine. But there came a time when I had to get back to my routine of talking to God. It can be hard to believe that God cares about the details of our lives. It can feel awkward talking to a force we can’t see or hear.
Challenge: For me, the hardest thing about praying is that I drag my heels and balk at the discipline of regular prayer. I need to remind myself that prayer isn’t work, It works.
“Phil:3:12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Churches and their communicators are always sending a message to their local communities. Our given message is to be the kingdom of God and gift of Jesus Christ. When this message is not clearly proclaimed by our verbal and non-verbal communication, our audience fills in the blanks. Our neighbors come to two conclusions: we are either ignorant of their problem, or we don’t care. Or both. And unfortunately, there are churches in both camps.
No one accidentally concludes you are a loving church without hearing your message. No one guesses you are a serving church without seeing your actions.
The current religious climate demands we exhaust every possible avenue in carrying the message of Christ clearly and concisely to any open ear. If your church is not using Facebook, then start—your high school, chamber of commerce, library and most tax paying citizens are. If you don’t use Twitter, learn—your friends and community already have. Does your local community have a bulletin board, free town mailer, radio station or homepage? Get on it. Go out in your community, and do something. The church’s silence is killing her message. If you make people guess what you are about, they will guess wrong.
If our technology had existed in Jesus’ day, our Bibles might read: “Jesus asked His disciples, ‘Who do people say that the Son of Man is?’ but they were checking their e-mail and missed the question.” Or “A third time He asked him, ‘Simon . . . do you love Me?’ Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time, but then his cell phone rang and he replied, ‘I’m sorry, Lord, I’ve got to take this.’ ” Or on Pentecost, “Peter continued preaching for a long time, and a handful of people believed and were baptized while thousands more texted and sent out tweets on Twitter” (see Mark 8:27-28; John 21:15; Acts 2:40-41).
Technology can stifle our spiritual growth in subtle ways. The first Christians “devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer” (Acts 2:42). None of these things come easily in our wired world.
Who has the time or discipline to study the apostles’ teaching and pray when cable television and the Internet jangle with unimportant yet interesting diversions? Let’s face it, our lives would be little changed if we missed that latest score, review, or celebrity gossip. Yet filling our minds with such minutiae comes at some cost, for we may unknowingly project our reading of the virtual world upon the eternal truths of God’s Word. When everything is trivial, then anything is trivial.
Bright, shiny objects! 