Put Your Excuses in a Pile of Sh*t

Jennifer Pastiloff writes:

One of the things I do in my Manifestation Workshops and Retreats is have people write down all their excuses on a piece of paper and then rip it up and put it in a pile at the front of the room. The little pieces of paper mix in with other little pieces of paper and look like a pile of trash. Which is, essentially, what they are.

So what do the papers say? What excuses am I talking about?

Any and all excuses.

Any excuses that we have collected over the years that stop us from going after what we want or saying Yes.

Mine have ranged from:

  • I don’t have enough money,
  • It will be hard,
  • I don’t have enough experience,
  • People won’t like me,
  • I am too old,
  • I am too fat
  • I am too tired
  • I am not good enough,

… and on and on depending on the year, the day, the mood.

So, I have them put the excuses into this pile at the front of the room, and then I ask them what the pile is. We all agree it is a pile of trash, of garbage, of sh*t. I then take a picture of it and tell anyone that if they ever forget that they have put their excuse into this pile, they can email me or call me and I will send them the photo as a sweet reminder.

Some people struggle when I ask them to rip up the excuses. You can see a slight subtle pull of resistance. Like they are afraid of who they might be, of what they might do, without their beloved excuse that they have clung to for so long.

At my last retreat in Italy, just a week ago, a girl from Philadelphia shared something really profound with me.

She had attended my workshop in Philadelphia at Dhyana Yoga in March. After the workshop, she emailed me to inquire about my Tuscany retreat. We exchanged a few emails, and then she decided she couldn’t make it happen.

A few days later she emailed me back and said she had changed her mind and was going to join me.

In Tuscany, she told me that she had been standing in her kitchen making tea after our initial emails where she told me she couldn’t make the retreat happen when it hit her like a pot of boiling water!

She had realized that all the excuses she had given me as to why she could not attend the retreat in Italy where no longer usable because she had ripped them up and put them into a pile of sh*t on the floor of Dhyana Yoga back in March. The excuses ran the gamut from she didn’t have enough money, she didn’t have anyone to go with, she wasn’t “good” at yoga, etc. She told me all of this with tears in her eyes in Italy, where she made lifelong friends and had a life-changing experience.

Yes, it was just words on a paper and a metaphor of throwing excuses into a pile of garbage. But, did it matter? She remembered that metaphor, and that action of ripping up her excuses, and chose to no longer use them.

We always have the choice.

Read the rest of the article here: Put Your Excuses in a Pile of Sh*t

Is This the Last Father’s Day?

Not the best picture of my ‘other dad’, but it will have to do…

The title comes from Randy Taran who writes:

My father is requesting that all family members come by… no, not for a typical family reunion, but for Father’s Day. They say that people sometimes get a sense about things, and I have a feeling that my dad knows the end is near.

I am not complaining. I have had the amazing good fortune of having him around for longer than most. He is 95.5 and pretty darn present.

It has me thinking about the various roles we play in life: child, parent, parent to our inner child, parent becomes child, and child becomes parent’s parent… it’s endless in all the possible permutations.

I recently asked my dad for his five top life lessons, and this seems like a perfect time to share them:

1. Lead your own life. Know who you are and be true to yourself.

2. Be satisfied with what you have. Don’t go looking to other people for validation or compare yourself to others — that goes nowhere.

3. Be very grateful for what you have. Appreciate everything, from nature to relationships to waking up another day. Looking at things with the right perspective allows you to see that what you have is all you need, and more.

4. It’s all about family. That is what is important, that everyone is happy and lives a good life.

5. Love is what matters most. After all the ups and down that life sends our way, after all the careers and hopes and dreams, what stands out and will always remain is love.

This may or may not be his last Father’s Day; he has surprised us before. No matter what, I will always cherish my dad’s life lessons and pass them on to my own children as the cycle continues. Happy Father’s Day to all.

For more by Randy Taran, click hereFor more on happiness, click herevia Randy Taran: Is This the Last Father’s Day?.

I curated this article for multiple reasons; not the least of which is that it makes me think about my father-in-law who is getting on in years. Throughout our marriage, my relationship with my in-laws has been strained for reasons too complicated to go into; only recently, however, I have gained a special appreciation for my father-in-law…

My ‘other Dad‘ is a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for almost 50 years. The more I dig into my own ’emotional sobriety’ and recovery from codependence, the more I appreciate him as a person and his contribution to the world — especially his example as he lives out the 12th step daily. Recently, when my wife was in Italy we connected a couple of times by phone and I had a chance to tell him for the first time that I loved him as a ‘dad’ — and I don’t say that lightly; dad is a title of honor in my life — and that I appreciate his example. There are things around ‘recovery’ that he gets that my first dad will never understand and I appreciate his testimony more with each passing day…

My second dad is now 79 and time is catching up with him. I cherish the help he has given me in my recovery and his lack of judgment toward me. Whether this is the last Father’s Day or the first of many we have in this ‘new’ relationship — God knows there are no guarantees in this life — I’m glad we had a chance to connect in his living years…

One Day at a Time

“One day at a time–this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.” via One Day at a Time – Single Parents – Families.com.

I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday while weeding in the garden. My wife and I were talking about taking things one day at a time. I told her that while she was in Italy, sometimes it was all I could do to live second to second, minute to minute, hour to hour let alone a day at a time. The purpose of living one day at a time is to reduce life to bite sized chunks — like the old riddle how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time…

Jesus said ‘sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof‘ [I don’t know why I like the King James version of that quote so much, but I do]. The epiphany for me was that this not only applies to looking forward, but also looking back. Sometimes I can’t bear up under the future OR the past but I don’t have to. I can live one moment at a time when things get overwhelming!

The Apostle Paul said in Philippians chapter 3:”12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

I forget what is behind and I strain toward what is ahead one day at a time…

My baby’s back…

My wife has returned safely from Italy — thank God — and on Friday we took a little time off to head up to Door County and get reconnected…

A little wine and spirits tasting at Door County Winery and Door County Distillery and Simon Creek Winery and a little stroll at Cave Point made for a beautiful day!

Click image to enlarge…

We still need to get up to Sister Bay to use our Cheesecake groupon but a high pollen count on Friday made it a little unenjoyable to be outside…

Room with a view…

The view from my wife’s room in Amalfi, Italy. Sigh… :-/

What Sets You Free Will Also Keep You Together!

Free Will

Good stuff from Dave Elliott at The Daily Love this morning…

“The path to long-lasting and legendary love is in the courage to live with Real Authenticity where both parties speak the truth from a place of love, connection and compassion for one another. It requires a fundamental acknowledgment that both parties truly deserve to have their needs met and it’s built on a strong foundation of understanding and a desire to keep the relationship fresh, fun and ever growing forward. If you’re new at this, that could be a pretty tall order…but if you have a Coach who can guide you both to a win/win resolution…it may just be the very best investment in you that you’ll ever make. After all, if the quality of your life is directly related to the quality of your relationships…the question is…how great do you want your life to be?” via What Sets You Free Will Also Keep You Together!.

I’m thinking about this as my wife prepares to vacation in Italy while I stay home with the boys and the business…

:-/

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