Thinking about thinking about transformational thought leadership…

The title is not a typo. Watch the first video and you’ll know what I mean!

Some thoughts on searching for the ‘middle way’ and attempting to apply it to transformational thought leadership. Some very rough thinking along the perilous path of ‘becoming known’…

5/10/2013; apparently I blew the first video. I’ve been informed that there’s no sound but I won’t be able to redo it until Monday. Enjoy the rest of the post…

Here’s the version WITH audio;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=6fQ6AT8cOpY

http://storify.com/livingbusiness/the-middle-way

 

10 Things to Remind Yourself on a Daily Basis

Madison Sonnier writes:

Bad days can be extremely overpowering sometimes. When we’re having a bad day, everything feels wrong and the day seems to get even worse as we sink further into frustration and despair. By the end of the day, all we want to do is pull the covers up over our heads and block it all out.

When I clawed my way out of a depressive phase last year, it was a daily challenge to keep myself from falling back into that phase again. I had to go through a process of re-building my self-esteem and re-evaluating my life. But there were days when I was not very successful with these things and the negative thoughts that stayed with me for so long would interfere again. Continue reading “10 Things to Remind Yourself on a Daily Basis”

Building Your Self-Worth: Why You Matter

Vasavi Kumar shares this:

We all have fears and beliefs about who we are and what we are capable of, however, at a time where I felt the most helpless in my life, what filled me up was helping another human being. There is no way that our existence on this planet can be enjoyed to maximum fulfillment without serving humanity.

I’m grateful and blessed for my journey. It’s been a long road and along the way I have collected the lessons that were intended for me to learn, grow, and teach. It’s my privilege to share them with you.

1.  Never doubt how much YOU MATTER.

2.  Go with your gut. Always.

3.  What other people think of you isn’t your problem. So mind your business.

4.  You’re going to make a lot of mistakes. It will serve you in the long run.

5.  Trust that the Universe will always conspire on your behalf.

6. Have fun. Worrying and suffering are optional.

7. Number one spirit killer? Not being you. Take the mask off.

8. Whatever it is that you want to do, just start.

9. The company you keep will either move you forward or hold you back.

10. The path that you have been on is absolutely perfect for where you want to go.

11. Be your word. Everywhere.

12. When in doubt, look within.

13. The most influential relationship that you have is with yourself.

14. If you don’t like the rules, make up new ones.

15. Say yes. Especially to you.

16. You are the love that you seek.

Your time is now, so what are you waiting for?

Go to the source and read the rest of Vasavi’s article: Building Your Self-Worth: Why You Matter | FinerMinds

A new mental model

English: Blue plaque at Iffley Road Track, Oxf...

“Human beings can’t run a mile in under four minutes. It simply isn’t possible.” Sound crazy? It does now. But for decades it was a common point of view. It was a mental model: an assumption about how the world worked. As Professor Jerry Wind of the Wharton School tells the story: The four-minute mile seemed like a physical barrier that humans could not cross… until May 6, 1954. That was the day that Roger Bannister, in a meet at Oxford, ran a mile in 3:59.3 He broke the barrier. Suddenly, in the next three years, 16 other runners cracked the four-minute mile as well. Was there some breakthrough in human evolution? No. What had changed was the mental model.” Lecinski, Jim (2011-06-24). Winning the Zero Moment of Truth – ZMOT (Enhanced Version) (Kindle Locations 122-128). Vook. Kindle Edition.

Uh-oh once again…

This cartoon perfectly illustrates a profound thought. I think that when we die we will ALL find out that we were wrong. Christians, I believe that in the first ‘Monday morning meeting’ in Heaven, God will say in his best Dr. Phil imitation “Dudes — this denomination thing. What were you thinking?” Religion is man’s feeble attempt to placate and ultimately control God. God, however, has a different plan I believe. He says:

1Cor 2:9: “as it is written:

“What no eye has seen,
what no ear has heard,
and what no human mind has conceived”[b]
the things God has prepared for those who love him—

10 these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit.

The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12 What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. 13 This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words.[c] 14 The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.

I’m fully aware I may be wrong about everything I believe, but I think God is more about relationship than religion. Cartoon via Anderson Layman’s Blog Uh-oh once again…………...

The Freedom of Not Needing To Be Right

Hannah Eagle writes:

“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” Friedrich Nietzsche.

Yesterday I drove my mother and father to the VA hospital in Albuquerque for a doctor’s appointment. I had never been to a VA hospital before. I guess I should have expected the numbers of crutches and canes, armless and legless veterans, young and weathered faces alike.

I was personally witnessing the costs endured when humans war against each other.

“Isn’t it odd,” I said to my mother, “that human beings war with each other?”

Why in the world do we do that?

Then I considered the ways in which we war on an interpersonal level. We humans war to varying degrees with our partners, our friends, our bosses, our co-workers, our siblings, our parents—pretty much all in the name of our need to be “right” or the need not to be wrong.

We war over ideas and beliefs that we often have never questioned. These include ideas from our upbringings, our religions, our scars and wounds, and our existential need to identify ourselves in some way.

How early did we lose our childlike wonder? When did we lose that innocent state in which we did not judge others, nor need to be “right”—when we saw the best in everything and everyone, and when it did not matter that someone was Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, atheist, republican, democrat, omnivorous, vegetarian, gay, or of a different race?

When I observe my 10-year-old grandson, he appears to have no tendency to judge other people, not yet anyway. He has no need to diminish others, nor does he feel threatened by them.

Would we, as children, have told lies about someone just because we wanted to win an election? Would we have been dismissive or even cruel to someone because they were of another race or religion? I don’t think so.

As little children we only cared that we were loved. And we were still curious about everything.

Somewhere along the way we lose our innocence and start to judge others. This becomes a primary source of our social anxiety and the undermining of our self-esteem, because if we are judging others. we fear that we are also being judged.

Could we perhaps untangle and re-do ourselves? Could we resist closing ourselves off with dogma or beliefs, prejudice, and rules? Could we allow ourselves the freedom of not knowing and reclaim our curiosity?

A beautiful YouTube called We Love You Iran & Israel, depicts an Israeli man reaching out to Iranian people. He says, “Our countries are talking war. In order to go to war . . . I have to hate you. I don’t hate you. I don’t even know you. No Iranian has ever done me harm. I have only met one Iranian in a museum in Paris. Nice dude.”

Reality is malleable. The reality, which we have imposed upon ourselves or had planted in our heads by others to make us feel safe, is also the reality that keeps us from really appreciating our own humanness and really loving other human beings—those beings who are more like us than we realize, even if we don’t know them.

Source: The Freedom of Not Needing To Be Right | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In

A powerful three-step algorithm for happiness

Leo Babauta

Another powerful post from Leo Babauta

Today I’m going to share a really simple secret that can make your day instantly better. If you’re feeling down, it can make you happier, all day long.

It’s something I’ve been trying myself, with great results.

It’s three steps, and anyone can do them. This is an algorithm that can be repeated over and over, all day long. It starts with a basic assumption: that we are all human beings capable of goodness, of love, of pain, of broken hearts and passionate love. That we all have bad days, that inside our jaded exteriors is a person who just wants love.

It is based on my observation that we take other people for granted, and that we judge others and become irritated with them for almost no good reasons, and we expect everyone to make us happy or at least behave the way we want them to, and if they don’t, our day is ruined. That’s crazy. People are living their own lives, and aren’t trying to please us or act in accordance with our expectations, and once we accept that, we can be happy.

Here are the three steps. They might sound silly to some of you, but I urge you to give them a try. For just one day. Even just an hour. They are powerful, and they work.

Source: » A Powerful Three-Step Algorithm for Happiness :zenhabits

Go to the source if you’d like the 3 steps…

5 Excuses that keep you unhealthy (and how to destroy them)

Cartoon mountain pass symbolizing path of leas...

Matt Frazier of No Meat Athlete shared this on zenhabits…

Each and every one of us, as a human being, is hardwired to choose the path of least resistance. We’re programmed to conserve energy for when we might need it and to avoid risk wherever possible, because that’s what it took for our ancestors to survive (and reproduce) in a world full of unknown dangers.

Today, it’s why the status quo — tested, predictable, familiar — is so comfortable. And it’s why we find change so difficult, even when our very lives depend on changing.

I’m referring, of course, to our health. Continue reading “5 Excuses that keep you unhealthy (and how to destroy them)”

A seven-step prescription for self-love

Some people see the term ‘self love’ and immediately start to squirm, yet the Good Book says we must ‘love our neighbor as ourselves’ implying that self-love is fundamental in healthy relationship. Author Dr. Deborah Khoshaba shares her perspective here…

Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic; it grows by actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept much better our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our short-comings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning, are more centered in our life purpose and values, and expect living fulfillment through our own efforts.

Here is my Seven-Step Prescription for Self-Love. Continue reading “A seven-step prescription for self-love”

How To Escape? Understand, Really Understand The Rules of Life. Rule 6…

Richard Branson at the Virgin America OC Launch.

I found blogger Nicholas Bate through my friend David Kanigan. Are you following his ongoing series? Here’s his rule #6…

We have been seduced. Even though folk tales, our parents and pop song lyrics have warned us, we love to be seduced. But money, fast cars, sex, drugs and rock and roll do not make us happy-or certainly not beyond the instant application. But research does consistently show that the following will:
Growth and challenge. We human beings love a challenge. Because it gets us to grow. And we are meant to grow. We are not meant to stagnate: we get dulled, jaded, and unhappy. Of course what that challenge is for you,only you can find out. It might be teaching disadvantaged children, it might be becoming a gardener, or building a multi-national organisation.
Nurturing our Nature. But what ‘growth’ is doing, of course, is allowing us to nurture our nature. To take the genetic gifts we have and use them, to enjoy them. Again, no one can tell you what those are. No-don’t try and be Richard Branson-simply be the best version of you that you can be; that’s what nurturing your nature really means. And as you challenge yourself you’ll find out more about what your true nature is.
Do it with passion (or pack it in). And once you are nurturing your nature you will want to do it with passion. You’ll love it. You won’t be able to help it. And if you don’t: it’s telling you something. Pack it in as soon as you conceivably can.
Balance your compass. You know what a geographical compass is. If it is not set correctly, you’re in a mess. You’ll get lost. The same applies to your personal compass. Set it correctly and the path is yours. You’ll get there and you will enjoy the journey. Ensure you know what you want for your (1) career; what are you going to do? How are you going to earn money? (2) mind/body: are you looking after them? How? (3) finances: what state are they in? What needs action? (4) relationships: which ones need some attention? (5) fun: are you having fun-if not, what’s the point? (6) contribution: that’s the one which make us all tick, really. Where’s your contribution?

Source: How To Escape? Understand, Really Understand The Rules of Life. Rule 6 – Nicholas Bate

I like “do it with passion or pack it in”. How about you? Go to the source if you’d like to download his free ebook…

Freedom

POSTER-SEEK AND FIND

Many of us were oppressed and victimized as children. As adults, we may continue to keep ourselves oppressed.

Some of us don’t recognize that caretaking and not set­ting boundaries will leave us feeling victimized.

Some of us don’t understand that thinking of ourselves as victims will leave us feeling oppressed.

Some of us don’t know that we hold the key to our own freedom. That key is honoring ourselves, and taking care of ourselves.

We can say what we mean, and mean what we say.

We can stop waiting for others to give us what we need and take responsibility for ourselves. When we do, the gates to freedom will swing wide.

Walk through.

Today, I will understand that I hold the key to my freedom. I will stop participating in my oppression and victimization. I will take responsibility for myself, and let others do as they may.

Source: March 9: Freedom | Language of Letting Go

It’s not you, it’s me: How family karma shapes your relationship

My favorite ‘healthy’ blog of the week is called ‘Loving with Power’ and it’s hosted by my client Michele Lisenbury Christensen. Ah, you say, client! This is just another developer promoting his work. Actually, no – I helped Michele get a grip on her email and although I’m a web developer I had nothing to do with this masterpiece…

Do you ever get the feeling your partner is relating more to someone from her past – say, his mom or her big brother – than to you?  Like you do something and the reaction is out of proportion or out of sync with what you did, as if some old junk is getting triggered?  The good news is, you’re probably right – it’s more about then, and less about now.  The harder to take news?

You do it too, baby.

We’re all reacting to our families every day, even when we think it’s our partner’s actions, words, and presence we’re responding to.

“But I had a nice family!” you say.

Me, too, in so very many ways.  But whomever you grew up among, I believe you came to this planet and picked a situation to help you work on some of the rough edges in your soul, so your family doesn’t have to be drama central or a source of misery to give you “karma” or fodder for development.  They just remind you of what you came here to learn.  As does your current partner, no?

The 3 ways we make sure our karma gets triggered:

– We attract people who let us recreate these dramas
– We elicit behavior from those we’re with that, once again, makes us feel the way we hate feeling but that’s familiar
– We interpret/distort WHATEVER they do, even if it bears no resemblance, as being more of the same

And I’ll be damned if it isn’t reallllllllly compelling to think, when I’m upset with my partner Kurt, that this is a cut-and-dried issue of his, or between us… but surely NOT a dance elegantly orchestrated by my karma so as to help me wake up!  So if you find this karma junk really off-pissing, please know that I feel ya, and agree, and lovingly reiterate: it’s yours.  And it’ll persist till you open its gifts.

Do you really want it gone?

Over time, we can increase our awareness of how this “family karma” shapes our view of our partner, but we’re probably not going to get rid of it 100%.  It’s too rich a territory to utterly eradicate.  What would be the fun in that?  Eric Klein of wisdomheart.org says “the aim is to be in relationship 80% with your partner and only 20% with your past.”  I can hang with 80%, can’t you? We came to this life to heal this stuff, work it out, and release it so we don’t have to spend future lifetimes lamenting it, but staying with the process feels more important (and possible!) to me than getting it “perfect.”

Source: It’s not you, it’s me: How family karma shapes your relationship – Loving With Power

I strongly suggest you follow Michele and put her in Google Reader like I did…

Take Life One Day At A Time!!

A sketch of the human brain imposed upon the p...
Image via Wikipedia

One of my favorite things about life is that we all get a chance, once a day, to start over.

The morning comes bearing gifts of renewal, redemption and a chance to start all over again. The fresh dew on the Spring leaves glimmer as the sun is just starting to poke her head out from the horizon and imbue each morning with the promise of revival. Moments like these remind me that life goes on.

And not only does life go on, but this very morning you have a chance to make a new decision about HOW it goes. I know I don’t get it perfect; I mess up every day. I try to kick sugar and I fail 20 times a week. But I try and try again. And each day I am closer to my result.

The same thing goes for goals, achieving dreams and the quality of your life. You may not have gotten it perfect in the past, but perfection is never what we can really achieve – only progress. When you stop trying to be perfect and embrace progress OVER perfection – you free yourself to live a life on your terms. We, my friend, are human beings, and by our very nature are not perfect.

But what we can do is welcome the promise of the morning, of each new day that reminds us that we can try again and today get it 1% more right. We can be 1% more on our own side, we can love ourselves 1% more and we can come 1% closer to our dreams.

You and I don’t need to get it all done today, because we can’t; but we can achieve 1% more than we did yesterday. We can forgive ourselves 1% more than we did yesterday. We can show up for our loved ones more than we did yesterday.

The promise of the morning inspires me every day. Today, I am to do 1% better than I did yesterday. Day-by-day, slowly but surely these small incremental changes will bring about MASSIVE change in our lives.

Embrace the promise of renewal each morning, and for today, don’t try to be perfect, just be 1% better than you were yesterday.

The ‘higher power’ and relationships…


Image via Wikipedia

“A definition of Interdependence is, “a reciprocal relation between interdependent entities.”

The key word here is: “reciprocal”. Interdependence can be thought of as a relationship where each party gives and receives from his or her own internal overflow. Which is TOTALLY different than “codependence” which can be thought of as being “addicted to someone”.

Another way to look at it, spiritually, is this:

A codependent person makes someone else his or her Higher Power. An interdependent person knows that The Uni-verse is their Higher Power and keeps their focus on that, while choosing to be in a relationship with someone else who is also looking to The Uni-verse to fulfill them…

You see, when we make someone else our Higher Power, we are REALLY setting ourselves up for pain. This is a top cause of pain in relationships and of break ups. We are looking to someone else for something they can never give us – which is perfect and unwavering Love. There is only one place unwavering Love comes from and that is The Uni-verse.

The Love of The Uni-verse never changes; other people change all the time. When we keep our eyes on The Uni-verse and surrender to It’s will for us, we take everyone else off the hook for our happiness. We no longer seek to take Love from them, but to show up from a place of overflow and give Love to them. This kind of relationship creates two really great givers and FORgivers. This is the cornerstone of having an awesome and long-term relationship.

Are you making a person your Higher Power? Are you ready to take your eyes off of them and put them towards The Uni-verse and accept It’s perfect Love for you? Can you see yourself and those you are in relationship with as imperfect human beings who are fallible and Love them anyways, not because they are fulfilling your every need, but because it is Love that is who you really are? Do you think you might be addicted to someone?” Source; A Top Cause of Relationship Pain & BreakUps!

Of course for me, the Uni-verse is Jesus, but Mastin Kipp makes brilliant sense here. For me, anyway. As Gibran said “Do not say I have found THE truth, but I have found A truth”. Kipp and his site have really been a blessing to me as I try to take a healthier perspective on relationships…

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