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Developing A Talent for Living…

Peaceful Warrior
Peaceful Warrior (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A few weeks ago, I came across the movie ‘Peaceful Warrior‘ via streaming Netflix through one of those ‘list posts’ something like the top 20 inspirational movie speeches of all time. All the standards were there; Braveheart, Rocky, etc. but in the list I also found this clip:

I became interested in Dan Millman‘s story and writing and this morning I found this on FinerMinds:

“Life comes at us in waves of change. We cannot predict or control those waves, but we can become better surfers.” – Dan Millman

How can we as humans develop a talent for living?

In life, we all have moments of perfection. For example, the day you embarked on the sojourn of a lifetime. The moment you realized you found true love. The birth of your child. Or the moment you finally realized your self-worth is more important than anyone else’s opinion of you.

But with these delicious moments comes many more moments in life that are sent to test us. Whether they come in the form of everyday routine, or more significant life events that irrecoverably change us – we must learn how to strengthen our minds, body and soul so we don’t continuously get caught in the undercurrent of these challenging times.

In this wonderful TED Talk, best-selling author Dan Millman (he’s the guy who wrote Way of the Peaceful Warrior) explains how.

Source: A Talent for Living: How to Surf the Waves of Change and Become a Peaceful Warrior

Watch Dan Millman’s TEDx talk below and then if you’re interested, watch Peaceful Warrior via Netflix or Amazon Instant…

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Be Yourself: No More, No Less

Be Yourself: No More, No Less
Michael Woolson writes:

Be yourself. It’s a statement that people often dismiss as something doting mothers say, but it is actually a very poignant piece of advice.


For instance, have you ever seen a guy who’s trying to be more than what he is? He’s fifty-five, driving a sports car, wearing designer clothing that someone half his age would wear, trying to pick up twenty year olds, and showing off his face lift or hair plugs. It’s like he’s saying, “I’m not old, bald, or okay-looking. I’m a hot, rich, thick-haired, young stallion.” The truth is that he’s not fooling anyone. Wouldn’t your opinion of him be more favorable if he accepted his real age and appearance? This is an extreme example, but almost everyone does it on some level. If you’re an okay-looking person, be an okay-looking person. I know, how dare I say something like that. But the truth is that we are only beautiful when we stand firmly in what we truly are. Continue reading “Be Yourself: No More, No Less” →

Do You Make These Parenting Mistakes?

Stepcase Lifehack

Full story at: Do You Make These Parenting Mistakes?.

Letting Go

Melody Beattie writes:

Stop trying so hard to control things. It is not our job to control people, outcomes, circumstances, life. Maybe in the past we couldn’t trust and let things happen. But we can now. The way life is unfolding is good. Let it unfold.

Stop trying so hard to do better, be better, be more. Who we are and the way we do things is good enough for today.

Who we were and the way we did things yesterday was good enough for that day.

Ease up on ourselves. Let go. Stop trying so hard.

Today, I will let go. I will stop trying to control everything. I will stop trying to make myself be and do better, and I will let myself be.

via November 19: Letting Go.

 

This note…

…is all I have left from the woman who, for the most part, raised me in my earliest years:

The backstory? My birth father abandoned my mother and me before I left the womb. My grandmother [who we called ‘Ma moo’ because some cousin that went before me couldn’t say Grandma]  and my maternal relatives rushed in to fill the gap. My mother worked as an administrative assistant to support my grandmother and me in my earlier years. This note was written around the time I was 3 or 4 when my mom met and married my dad and we moved out to start a life of our own. Today, on the 34th anniversary of her death with tears in my eyes I remember this remarkable woman and the sacrifices she made for me…

It was only last year on this day I learned that when she was married to my alcoholic grandfather there was a time when she left him and put her 4 children up for adoption to protect them from the horrible abuses at home — abuses so bad that my uncles later enlisted in WWII preferring to fight the Japanese and Germans to living with their own father. My grandmother, however, reconsidered out of a deep and abiding love for her children and went back to my grandfather despite the verbal and physical abuse. The number 4 is significant because my mother is the 5th child in the family and she was conceived after my grandmother put the family back together. In a very real way, I would not be here if not for her courage in the face of overwhelming adversity…

Today and every day I thank God for the gift of this courageous woman in my life. There are so many happy memories of early life with her — to this day when I feel happy, I sometimes crave a Cherry Coke. Why? When I was a good boy she took me to the soda fountain and rewarded me with one. This note — 50 years old this year — hangs in my home office and is a constant reminder of her loving presence in my life then, now and always!

SugarGram: A Handy Guide to Candy and Other Sugary Foods

Holy Kaw!

via SugarGram: A Handy Guide to Candy and Other Sugary Foods [Infographic].

 

Make fat pay!

Get out there and make your fat cry this weekend!!! ..MOTIVATION POSTER: Make fat pay.. «.

Don’t Should on Yourself

Is expectation keeping you from living your most authentic life?

Our upbringing, the media, our friends, and our selves are all constantly pressuring us for more, better, or different.

“By now, I should ________.”

Many of my patients finish that sentence with:

  • be married
  • have more money
  • have children
  • be happy
  • have better work
  • be having fun
  • be on vacation
  • be retired
  • own a home
  • have no debt
  • feel better

It’s one thing to recognize something as uncomfortable or as going against your desires. It’s an entirely different thing to witness this “bad” thing and then, on top of it, judge yourself for the existence of this “imperfection.” Now, this one weight upon your mind has become two. And this can snowball if you consciously know that you’re judging yourself, and then—you guessed it—you start to judge yourself for judging yourself. Since we’re all striving to feel comfortable in life, why create all this undue pressure?” Get more here: Don’t Should on Yourself « Positively Positive.

Ancient grilled cheese secrets

Molly Snyder writes:

I’m far from being a gourmet cook, but I do enjoy preparing food and experimenting in the kitchen. Over the years, I’ve made hundreds of grilled cheese sandwiches and, since it’s the last day of Dairy Month, I’m sharing the few simple rules I follow that produce a perfect grilled cheese sandwich every time.

    1. Figure out which pan works the best for grilled cheese and never, ever use another one. Re-buy the same pan if need be. I have made the mistake of using another pan because my grilled cheese sandwich pan was dirty, and it throws everything off. Don’t mess with success, people.
    2. Butter the bread generously. This is no time to cut calories. Promise yourself you’ll eat a salad for dinner and get slathering. The bread slices must be entirely covered in butter to make this thing really work.
    3. Make sure the pan is medium-hot enough. Don’t throw the sammy on the griddle too fast or else it won’t turn out like the sandwich that dreams are made of. And if it’s too hot, it will burn the bread without melting the queso. It’s zen and the art of grilled cheese time – something only you and your stove top can figure out together. Also, put a lid on the pan to trap the heat and melt the cheese all the way through.
    4. Use sliced or shredded cheese. If you have a block of cheese, don’t cut into chunks, rather shred it before putting it between the slices of bread. It will melt better that way. Slices work well, too. But don’t buy those plastic-wrapped ” cheese” slices if you can help it. They melt well but they’re kinda gross.” via Molly Snyder ‘s Blogs: Ancient grilled cheese secrets.

Tastes As Good As Soda!

There isn’t only one type of tea – think of the many tea brews you’ve seen in their fancy packaging at the supermarket whilst you were on your way to the soda aisle (for instance).

There are teas scented or infused with flowers like rose and jasmine; herbs like peppermint and pandan; spices like vanilla, cinnamon and ginger; and even fruit like strawberry or orange.

Brew it strong, pour into a pitcher or a bottle and let it cool inside the fridge. If you want it sweet, add some honey.” via Tastes As Good As Soda! | FinerMinds.

Lately, I’ve been rocking the iced tea at home and at restaurants. It’s a great substitute for soda and beer and you can be very creative with it, too. Try sun-brewed tea, too!

Listen Up! Your Body Has Something To Tell You This Weekend…

Listen to your body

The weekend is almost here, the finish line is waiting for you… you can do it!

If you’re crossing the line feeling a little worse for wear and carrying the load of the week on your back – your mind and body are probably calling out for some well-deserved rest…..however you have other plans.

There’s that amazing party tonight, spin class tomorrow morning, followed by lunch with friends, shopping, some work in the afternoon, drinks in the evening, your nieces birthday on Sunday and then dinner at your parent’s house. You’re exhausted just thinking about it, but it’s nothing that a bit of coffee and concealer can’t fix, right?

But then the next week comes and follows a similar pattern and the coffee and concealer aren’t doing the job and you feel a cold coming on. Sound familiar?

Why don’t we listen to our body when it’s telling us to slow down? We often think we can trick it into thinking we’re fine, but the truth is your mind and body are connected, so any stress felt in your mind, will also be felt in your body and vise versa.

So this weekend, if you feel your mind and body are begging for some respite, listen to what their synchronized little voices are saying! Even if you can only squeeze in an hour or two – your body will thank you for it!

Here’s a few of our favorite ways to give our mind and bodies a little lovin’:

  • Cancel any early morning classes or activities – wake up naturally, then treat yourself to breakfast in bed and snuggle up with a book. Don’t entertain any feelings of guilt for not going to that spin class!
  • Get in touch with nature – go for a walk in your favorite park or if you can, escape to the countryside or to the beach for a few hours. It’s amazing how quickly the cares of the week float away after a hike or when watching a sunset and becoming mesmerized by its beauty. Not only is this good therapy for the mind and body, it’s these precious moments where some of the best dreams or plans are born.
  • Avoid emotionally draining or negative people. Perhaps you have plans with a friend or family member who has a tendency to complain about their life in great detail every time you meet. After two coffees and a piece of cake with them, you end up leaving feeling deflated and heavy – and that’s not from the post sugar and caffeine come down either! Cancel your plans with them and stay at home and make yourself a cake instead!
  • Eat well and laugh with someone you love. Go to your favorite local restaurant with someone special and spend the afternoon putting the world to rights, eat some good food and most importantly, laugh!

What are your best ways to unwind? Tell us what sends you to your happy place!” via Listen Up! Your Body Has Something To Tell You This Weekend….

Happy bday, #2 son…

Kindergarten days…

My #2 son was a Father’s Day gift in 1989. He was the first birth I ever witnessed and I’ll never forget the experience and what it — and he — has meant to me!

Colin and his lovely girlfriend Kelsey…

My favorite quote on fatherhood…

My birth father abandoned my mother and me 3 months before my birth. I was raised by my grandmother while my mother supported our family unit until the day she met my dad. They were married over 50 years ago and he formally adopted me when I was 5 — I still remember going before the judge and having him ask me if I wanted my dad to be my dad. It’s an honor and a privilege that few sons have — to actually affirm their choice of a father before a judge…

Years later as a student of German literature, I came across this quote: “Nicht Fleisch und Blut, das Herz macht uns zu Vätern und Söhnen.” I thank God every day for my dad’s heart; a heart which made him a father and me a son and gave me the courage to adopt my own son when I met the woman of my dreams like he did…

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Is This the Last Father’s Day?

Not the best picture of my ‘other dad’, but it will have to do…

The title comes from Randy Taran who writes:

My father is requesting that all family members come by… no, not for a typical family reunion, but for Father’s Day. They say that people sometimes get a sense about things, and I have a feeling that my dad knows the end is near.

I am not complaining. I have had the amazing good fortune of having him around for longer than most. He is 95.5 and pretty darn present.

It has me thinking about the various roles we play in life: child, parent, parent to our inner child, parent becomes child, and child becomes parent’s parent… it’s endless in all the possible permutations.

I recently asked my dad for his five top life lessons, and this seems like a perfect time to share them:

1. Lead your own life. Know who you are and be true to yourself.

2. Be satisfied with what you have. Don’t go looking to other people for validation or compare yourself to others — that goes nowhere.

3. Be very grateful for what you have. Appreciate everything, from nature to relationships to waking up another day. Looking at things with the right perspective allows you to see that what you have is all you need, and more.

4. It’s all about family. That is what is important, that everyone is happy and lives a good life.

5. Love is what matters most. After all the ups and down that life sends our way, after all the careers and hopes and dreams, what stands out and will always remain is love.

This may or may not be his last Father’s Day; he has surprised us before. No matter what, I will always cherish my dad’s life lessons and pass them on to my own children as the cycle continues. Happy Father’s Day to all.

For more by Randy Taran, click here. For more on happiness, click here. via Randy Taran: Is This the Last Father’s Day?.

I curated this article for multiple reasons; not the least of which is that it makes me think about my father-in-law who is getting on in years. Throughout our marriage, my relationship with my in-laws has been strained for reasons too complicated to go into; only recently, however, I have gained a special appreciation for my father-in-law…

My ‘other Dad‘ is a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for almost 50 years. The more I dig into my own ’emotional sobriety’ and recovery from codependence, the more I appreciate him as a person and his contribution to the world — especially his example as he lives out the 12th step daily. Recently, when my wife was in Italy we connected a couple of times by phone and I had a chance to tell him for the first time that I loved him as a ‘dad’ — and I don’t say that lightly; dad is a title of honor in my life — and that I appreciate his example. There are things around ‘recovery’ that he gets that my first dad will never understand and I appreciate his testimony more with each passing day…

My second dad is now 79 and time is catching up with him. I cherish the help he has given me in my recovery and his lack of judgment toward me. Whether this is the last Father’s Day or the first of many we have in this ‘new’ relationship — God knows there are no guarantees in this life — I’m glad we had a chance to connect in his living years…

Before You Send That Angry E-mail

Michael Hyatt writes:

Over the course of my career, I have fired off my share of angry letters and e-mail. However, I cannot think of a single time when these communiques had a positive effect. Usually, they only served to escalate the conflict and alienate the recipient.” Get more here: Before You Send That Angry E-mail | Michael Hyatt.

Think twice, click send once…

10 TV Rules You Must Have

Did you ever walk into a friend’s home for coffee and conversation and feel overwhelmed by the distraction of a big honking TV, right there in the living room, running some mindless show and competing for everyone’s attention?

Are you constantly worried about what kind of trash Junior might be watching at all hours on the TV in his room?

Is TV the dominant social presence in your home?

Are you afraid to limit your kids’ usage because you’ve tried to go down that road before and it was nothing but whining and complaining and breaking the rules?

If you answered “YES!”, or have any other TV issues constantly in the back of your mind, then it’s time to step up and establish manageable standards and limits in your home. There’s nothing to be afraid of, and a whole lot to look forward to once you get over the hump and introduce protocols that are fair and consistent.

Here are “10 Rules” from All Pro Dad that should help right the ship just in time for the summer break from school.” Get more here: 10 TV Rules You Must Have | All Pro Dad.

50 states. 50 sandwiches.

Yummm! My favorite!!! via Holy Kaw! Get more here: 50 states. 50 sandwiches

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One Day at a Time

“One day at a time–this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.” via One Day at a Time – Single Parents – Families.com.

I had a bit of an epiphany yesterday while weeding in the garden. My wife and I were talking about taking things one day at a time. I told her that while she was in Italy, sometimes it was all I could do to live second to second, minute to minute, hour to hour let alone a day at a time. The purpose of living one day at a time is to reduce life to bite sized chunks — like the old riddle how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time…

Jesus said ‘sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof‘ [I don’t know why I like the King James version of that quote so much, but I do]. The epiphany for me was that this not only applies to looking forward, but also looking back. Sometimes I can’t bear up under the future OR the past but I don’t have to. I can live one moment at a time when things get overwhelming!

The Apostle Paul said in Philippians chapter 3:”12 Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

I forget what is behind and I strain toward what is ahead one day at a time…

Cooking At Home Helps You Live Longer

“A new study just found that older people who cook at home for up to five times a week were 47% more likely to live longer than those who don’t. Conducted on 1,888 men and women aged above 65 in Taiwan over the course of 10 years, the study was published in Cambridge University’s journal Public Health Nutrition.

At the beginning of the study, each participant was interviewed on lifestyle factors such as cooking and shopping habits, diet, knowledge of health, and transportation – factors that would determine their likeliness to cook at home. 43% of the subjects never cooked, 17% cooked once or twice a week, 9% cooked three to five times a week and 31% cooked five or more times a week.

At the end of the 10-year run, 695 participants had passed away, leaving 1,193 behind. The researchers discovered that cooking was related to survival, and that lifestyle factors of the participants also contributed to the theory, as these involved errands related to cooking like grocery shopping, waking to the supermarket and taking public transportation.” Read more here: Cooking At Home Helps You Live Longer | FinerMinds.

My Mom Says I’m Special

Very Demotivational – The Demotivational Posters Blog via MY MOM SAYS I’M SPECIAL.

The Heart in Our Homes

Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In via Tiny Wisdom: The Heart in Our Homes.

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