Take responsibility for your life and choices

When we are soul searching, be it for the smaller or larger decisions we face during the day, we can learn to ask, is this good for me?… Is this what I really want?… Is this what I need?…Does this direction feel right for me?…or am I succumbing to the control and influence that I sometimes allow others to have over me?

It is not unhealthy selfishness to question if something is good for us. That is an old way of thinking. To ask if something is good for us is a healthy behavior, not to be ashamed of, and will probably work out in the other person’s best interests too.

We shall not wander down a selfish path of self-indulgence by asking if a thing is good for us. We shall not stray from God’s intended plan, God’s highest good, by asking if a thing is good for us. By asking ourselves this simple question, we participate in directing our life toward the highest good and purpose; we own our power to hold ourselves in self-esteem.

Today, I will begin acting in my best interests. I will do this with the understanding that, on occasion, my choices will not please everyone around me. I will do this with the understanding that asking if a thing is good for me will ultimately help me take true responsibility for my life and my choices.” via Just For Today Meditations – Daily Recovery Readings – September 14, 2012.

Owning Our Power (toddlohenry.com)
When Things Don’t Work (toddlohenry.com)
words (saltygoods.com)
The Magic of NO (omtimes.com)

September 14, 2012 4

Why You Should Stop Buying Salad Dressing

Get the answer here: Why You Should Stop Buying Salad Dressing.

September 13, 2012 2

Conflict and Detachment

Melody Beattie writes:

In a relationship, there are those wonderful times when things go smoothly for both people, and neither person needs to focus too heavily on the concept of detachment. But there are those challenging times when one person is in crisis or changing – and we need to detach.

Then there are stressful cycles when both people in a relationship are in the midst of dealing with intense issues. Both are needy and neither has anything to give.

These are times when detachment and taking care of ourselves are difficult.

It is helpful, in these moments, to identify the problem. Both people are in the midst of dealing and healing. Neither has much to give, at least at the moment. And both are feeling particularly needy.

That is the problem.

What’s the solution?

There may not be a perfect solution. Detachment is still the key, but that can be difficult when we need support ourselves. In fact, the other person may be asking for support rather than offering it.

We can still work toward detachment. We can still work through our feelings. We can accept this as a temporary cycle in the relationship, and stop looking to the other person for something he or she cannot give at the moment.

We can stop expecting ourselves to give at the moment as well.

Communication helps. Identifying the problem and talking about it without blame or shame is a start. Figuring out alternative support systems, or ways to get our needs met, helps.

We are still responsible for taking care of ourselves – even when we are in the best of relationships. We can reasonably expect conflicts of need and the clashing of issues to occur in the most loving, healthy relationships.

It is one of the cycles of love, friendship, and family.

If it is a healthy relationship, the crisis will not go on endlessly. We will regain our balance. The other person will too. We can stop making ourselves so crazy by looking for the other person to be balanced when he or she isn’t.

Talk things out. Work things out. Keep our expectations of other people, our relationships, and ourselves healthy and reasonable.

A good relationship will be able to sustain and survive low points. Sometimes we need them, so we can both grow and learn separately.

Sometimes, people who are usually there for us cannot be there for us. We can find another way to take care of ourselves.

Today, I will remember that my best relationships have low points. If the low point is the norm, I may want to consider the desirability of the relationship. If the low point is a temporary cycle, I will practice understanding for myself and the other person. God, help me remember that the help and support I want and need does not come in the form of only one person. Help me be open to healthy options for taking care of myself, if any normal support system is not available.” via Just For Today Meditations – Daily Recovery Readings – September 11, 2012.

A Better Way (toddlohenry.com)
Self approval (toddlohenry.com)
When Things Don’t Work (toddlohenry.com)
detachment (urdamage.wordpress.com)
Entanglement and its Antidote, Detachment (thistimethisspace.com)
Book Review: BackBone Power The Science of Saying No, by Dr. Anne Brown (hilarytopper.com)
Getting Unstuck By Letting Go (omtimes.com)
Family Buttons (toddlohenry.com)
Detachment breaks the bond (toddlohenry.com)
Discover what works for YOU (toddlohenry.com)

September 11, 2012 2

Why Fast Food Is Addictive

Hailey Hobson writes:

Over the past 50-60 years, our American culture has slowly become out of balance with nature. With the speed of technology and the crazy, intense pace of our lives, our bodies can’t help but live in a chronic state of stress. The phrase is “fight or flight.” Either you’ve heard the terms, or you may — in fact — be living it yourself.

From the minute we wake up in the morning, our bodies are prepared for that state of emergency. It could be the almost car accident you got into on your way to work, the three jobs you’re trying to juggle, your kids screaming at you in the background, the marathon you’re training for or the relationship with your partner that has become less than ideal… Our bodies don’t know the difference. Stress is stress. And it’s chronic.

Our nervous systems are out of balance. So, Ronald McDonald went to India in 1954 to learn more about the six tastes in Ayurvedic nutrition. And, what did he find out?

According to Ayurvedic tradition, our bodies naturally crave tastes that balance our doshic make-up and shun tastes that are aggravating to our nature. The sweet taste of milkshakes are soothing and calming to our nervous systems. Salt (i.e. French fries) improves the taste of food, calms our nerves and prevents anxiety. And, the sour taste of pickles on burgers stimulates our appetites.

It’s called comfort food. Don’t you crave it when your life is going 90 miles an hour? Ah, that first bite! It’s like the needle to a heroine addict. It worked in America, and the rest of the world soon followed. Come 2012, and McDonald’s has more than 33,000 restaurants (do we actually call them that?), serving nearly 68 million people in 119 countries every day!

So, now we’re on track to have the entire world following in our American footsteps. Doesn’t that scare you?!

The problem is, there are actually six tastes that should be present in every meal and guide us toward proper nutritional health. Sweet, salty and sour are only three of them. The others are:

the bitter taste which is cleansing and detoxifying;

the pungent taste which strengthens our systems;

the astringent taste which cleanses our blood and helps us maintain healthy blood sugar levels.

Chances are, your tongue may also be missing a few of these tastes. Can you pass by the entrance to your favorite fast food restaurant, and add more peppers, chilies, radishes, ginger, lentils, broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, green leafy vegetables, sprouts and beets to your diet instead?

via Why Fast Food Is Addictive: Ronald McDonald and The 6 Tastes of Ayurveda.

September 11, 2012 8

High-Fructose Corn Syrup Is a Total Catastrophe

Autumn Brooks writes:

High-Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) is a very low cost sweetener derived from milled corn, then processed again to form corn syrup, then again processed with fructose to form High-Fructose Corn Syrup. It’s very common in processed foods and beverages in the U.S., including breads, cereals, breakfast bars, lunch meats, yogurts, soups and condiments. Unfortunately, the overuse of such a toxic substance has led to an increase of metabolic syndrome in America that is supported study after study and proves that HFCS is not the same as sugar.

So, if HFCS is so damaging to the human body, why would a company prefer it over the other options? Not surprisingly, the main reason is it’s very inexpensive. But, it’s also easy to transport, keeps food moist and has a very long shelf life. It should also be divulged that the majority of HFCS is genetically modified and has a high potency of mercury. If you add up all of the information about HFCS, be prepared for a total catastrophe.

In 40 years since the introduction of HFCS, obesity rates have skyrocketed. In 1970, the obesity rate was 15 percent, and by 2010, the rate was around 33 percent – or one-third of the population. Princeton has been in the forefront of studies that are linking all of the information together. They have demonstrated that all sweeteners are not created equal when it comes to weight gain. HFCS isn’t recognized by the leptin receptors in your body, and leptin is the hormone assigned to tell you when you are full. Therefore, you aren’t told by your own body when to stop eating when it comes to foods that contain HFCS; that leads to overeating and weight gain.” Get the rest here: High-Fructose Corn Syrup Is a Total Catastrophe.

September 10, 2012 1

9 Superfoods for Super Health

David Arenson writes:

Imagine a food that contains high levels of vitamins, amino acids, and minerals that can add years to your life, reduce your risk of anything from heart disease and cancer to diabetes and arthritis, make you feel and look better, and has no side effects…

My philosophy is that nature intended all food to be “super!” It’s just that modern farming methods mean the stuff you find in your supermarket is far less than “super.” Wild foods – the wilder the better (the way nature intended them) – are true superfoods.

When we live according to nature, and listen to our bodies, health and vitality come as a natural consequence. Crucial elements of health like nutrition, clean flowing water, clean air, activity/exercise, sunlight, love and passion all work like alchemy to create an optimal homeostatic balance in the body system. With our busy, stressed lifestyles and polluted cities some of these factors have become impaired, hence heightening the importance of superfoods to stave off stress and the onset of chronic diseases.

I have chosen the most readily available superfood categories and the easiest to find, depending on seasonal factors.

I have targeted foods that lower blood sugar levels, which is an essential aspect in slowing the aging process and preventing chronic illnesses.” Get the rest here: 9 Superfoods for Super Health.

September 9, 2012 3

Discover what works for YOU

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0030UDW9I/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B0030UDW9I&linkCode=as2&tag=makrai-20

More Melody Beattie!

“Enroll in this weight loss program and you’ll lose thirty pounds in five days!” “Come to this free seminar and after spending one hundred dollars on books you’ll be a millionaire!”

There is no quick fix, no panacea that will work for every person. Success rarely happens overnight or in five days. Even the Twelve Steps are only suggestions. Although proven to work, the details and decisions about how we apply those Steps in our lives are left to each one of us.

And few things happen overnight, except the beginning of a new day.

Listen to your mentors. Examine what’s been tried and true, and has worked and helped countless others along their paths. The Twelve Steps are one of those approaches. But don’t be taken in by false claims of overnight success and instant enlightenment along your path.

True change takes time and effort, especially when we’re changing and tackling big issues. We can often get exactly the help we need at times from a therapist, book, or seminar– the best things in life really are free and available to each one of us. The Twelve Steps, again, qualify in this area.

Discover what works for you.

Trust that you’ll be guided along your path and receive exactly the help and guidance you need. Then give it time.

There really isn’t an easier, softer way.

God, give me permission to tackle my problems.” via Just For Today Meditations – Daily Recovery Readings – September 9, 2012.

September 9, 2012 2

Superfood: Cabbage

Greatist – Health and Fitness Articles, News, and Tips

Get the scoop here: Superfood: Cabbage.

September 8, 2012 2

The relationship between meat, milk and water…

Consider this:

“Like water? Who doesn’t? But if you really like it, you might want to also start liking lentils, kale, nuts, and bread—and pretty much anything that doesn’t come from an animal.

A new report from the Stockholm International Water Institute suggests that the world’s limited supply of fresh water cannot sustain the world’s ever-increasing consumption of meat, particularly if every other country continues to mimic the modern American diet, in which we get 65 percent of our protein from animal products. In order to quench such a meat-heavy diet, farmers would use up nearly all the world’s freshwater resources in the next 40 years…

Why? It takes a ridiculous amount of water to grow the grain that feeds the pigs, chickens, and cows that we eat every day, says Robert S. Lawrence, MD, director of Johns Hopkins University’s Center for a Livable Future, which researches the human and environmental problems associated with modern agriculture. It takes 110 gallons of water to grow a pound of corn, according to the U.S. Geological Survey, and it takes as much as 11 pounds of grain to raise a pound of beef. When you factor in the water that cattle need to drink, the amount can skyrocket to 4,000 to 18,000 gallons of water per pound of beef.

Then consider the sheer numbers of animals we eat, Dr. Lawrence says. “Right now, we’re raising 50 billion animals a year for human consumption on this planet. In the U.S. alone we consume 8 billion.” When you think that 1 million chickens are slaughtered every hour, he adds, you start to see where things are getting out of control.

The Stockholm researchers say that we’d all need to reduce our meat consumption to no more than 5 percent of total calories in order to sustain water resources. Cutting meat consumption by 60 percent may sound extreme, but even cutting back by 15 percent—about one vegetarian day per week—can do wonders for your health and for the rest of the world. ” via 4 Reasons You Need to Eat More Kale | Rodale News.

Here in Northeast Wisconsin, CAFOs [‘concentrated animal feeding operations’ or megafarms] pollute the air and water so city dwellers can have meat and milk at a lower cost. But this confuses me; if these operations are more economical, where are the savings to consumers. My best guess is that they’re not being passed on and that megafarmers are ruining the resources around them while lining their own pockets! One of these local farmers recently said in a townhall meeting “if your mouth is full, don’t criticize the farmer” but that’s obfuscating the issue. You don’t need a 20-ounce porterhouse to meet your daily protein requirement. There are much cheaper and healthier protein sources to choose from. You don’t need a 20-ounce porterhouse to meet your daily protein requirement. There are much cheaper and healthier protein sources to choose from. “You don’t need a 20-ounce porterhouse to meet your daily protein requirement. There are much cheaper and healthier protein sources to choose from”; here’s a list: 9 Super-Healthy, Vegetarian Protein Sources. The ‘system’ is out of alignment with our real needs; it’s time to think different about meat, milk and water. Questions? Feedback?

September 8, 2012 2

4 Reasons You Need to Eat More Kale

More plants, less pork: That’s the lesson of a new study showing the out-of-control impacts of the world’s meat consumption patterns…

Get the reasons here: 4 Reasons You Need to Eat More Kale | Rodale News.

September 8, 2012 2

Lower Your Expectations

You’ve heard it said ‘when all else fails, lower your expectations’ — I say ‘before!’. Why? Long ago I heard this quote and took it with me: “Discouragement is the illegitimate child of false expectations!” Loyd Ogilive. I believe most, if not all, of our disappointment comes from what expect in a certain situation. In jest I say to my wife, “if only you’d lower your expectations, I could be the man of your dreams” and there is some truth in that. The only time I get frustrated with her is when I forget that people are unmanageable and that my expectations are just that; my expectations and not anyone else’s truth or reality…

One of my favorite authors Melody Beattie shares this on the topic:

When you’re starting a first creative project or beginning the study of an art or craft, what I want you to do is lower your standards until they disappear. That’s right. You’re not supposed to be any good at the beginning. So you might as well give yourself the liberating gift of joyously expecting yourself to be bad.

— Barbara Sheer and Annie Gotlieb, Wishcraft

When I first began writing newspaper and magazine articles, it took me anywhere from one to three months to complete a short article. After writing for a few years, I brought a timer into my office one day. I told myself I knew how to do what I was doing, now I was going to learn to do it more quickly. Before long, I was able to write in two hours what had previously taken me months to accomplish. The key words here are in time.

When I first began recovering from chemical dependency, it took me eight months of treatment to understand what other people were comprehending in six weeks. In time, I became a chemical dependency counselor. In time, I wrote books on the subject. The key words here are in time.

When I first began recovering from codependency, I couldn’t tell a control gesture from setting a boundary I didn’t know when I was taking care of myself or what that even meant. I didn’t know manipulation from an honest attempt at expressing my emotions. In time, I wrote a best-seller on the subject. Again, the key words here are in time.

Start where you are. Start poorly. Just begin. Let yourself fumble, be awkward and confused. If you already knew how to do it, it wouldn’t be a lesson in your life. And you wouldn’t get the thrill of victory two, five, or ten years from now when you look back and say, “Wow. I’ve gotten good at that over time.”

All things are possible to him or her that believeth, the Bible says. Enjoy those awkward beginnings. Revel in them. They’re the key to your success.

God, help me stop putting off living out of fear of doing it poorly. Help me lower my expectations to allow room for awkward beginnings.” via September 8: Lower Your Expectations.

September 8, 2012 2

Lambeau’s new menu strives for quality over quantity?

WTH?

The Lambeau Heap, a one-pound BBQ garlic-bacon-cheese curd burger with fried onion strings and coleslaw on an 8-inch pretzel roll. The burger is $15, or eager eaters can tackle the ‘Fan V. Food’ challenge with waffle fries and a milkshake for $20. / Evan Siegle/Press-Gazette” via Lambeau’s new menu strives for quality over quantity | Green Bay Press Gazette | greenbaypressgazette.com.

No wonder America is obese when THIS is considered quality over quantity.

September 8, 2012 0

Being Both Strong and Hurt

“Pain is not a sign of weakness, but bearing it alone is a choice to grow weak.” ~from my book, Tiny Buddha via Tiny Wisdom: Being Both Strong and Hurt | Tiny Buddha.

September 6, 2012 0

10 Fun Facts You May Not Know About Broccoli

Get the scoop here: 10 Fun Facts You May Not Know About Broccoli.

September 6, 2012 3

See it Simple

God, if I’m complicating a task or making it too big and unmanageable in my mind, help me to simplify what I see.

Melody Beattie writes:

“It’s too much,” I said to my instructor. “Jumping out of a plane is too much for my mind to comprehend.”

“Then keep it simple,” he said. “Break it down into parts. You have the ride up, where you practice relaxing, your exit, your free-fall time; then you deploy your parachute. Then you decide if it’s working or if you need to go to plan B. Next set up your landing pattern. When you get near the ground, pull your strings and flare.”

I could handle the steps, but the big picture of jumping out of an airplane was too much to envision. But exiting, falling stable, pulling, and flaring were simple parts that felt manageable. My mind could comprehend these simple tasks.

You may never make a skydive. Or maybe you will. But there’s a lot of things in life that seem like too much if we try to see them all as one big thing. I never thought I could stay sober and drug-free for twenty-seven years. But with God’s help and the help of the program, I believed I could refrain from using drugs and alcohol for twenty-four hours. Then the next day, I got up and believed the same thing again.

There have been times I didn’t think I could start my life over. But I could get up in the morning and do the things I thought best for that day.

Are you facing something now in your life that feels too overwhelming? Then simplify it. Break it down into manageable parts until you can see how simple it is.

God, if I’m complicating a task or making it too big and unmanageable in my mind, help me to simplify what I see.” via September 5: See it Simple.

September 5, 2012 5

Where do addictions come from? “Elf Esteem”!

Karen Salmansohn shares a cute, but powerful, perspective that I wanted to share with you this morning:

Self sabotaging behavior often is a sign of low self esteem.

Or I guess that would be “elf esteem,” because it’s low esteem.

Okay, about as low as this joke! Although addictions are no joke. I am however a big believer if we can laugh at ourselves, we can loosen our ego’s grasp on tightly held beliefs, and we’re more open to change.

I’d like to help you loosen your ego’s grasp on maintaining addictions, and change over to more healthful behavior.

How?

If you want to break an addiction, you must heighten your low “elf-esteem” to high self esteem.

Interestingly, in studies on happiness the happiest people are those with high self esteem.

And just as interestingly, the happiest people are reported to be those who do consistent acts of altruism.

There’s a do-good-feel-good-do-good-feel-good cause and effect.

My belief: the more good you do for others, the more you raise your self esteem, and the better you feel about yourself, and so the more you want to do good, and on and on the upward cycle goes.

Ironically, the more you do your addiction, the worst you feel about yourself, and the lower your elf esteem, then the more you seek your addiction, which further lowers your elf esteem, and downward do you go.

In other words, you create a do-bad-feel-bad-do-bad-feel-bad cause and effect.

YOUR ASSIGNMENT: If you have a bad habit you’re trying to break, start by doing more positive habits: donate time in an old age home or read to the blind. Of course “elf esteem” also comes from deeper subconscious forces that you need to delve into as well – and I suggest you do some delving. But it’s a good jump start to loving yourself more if you start to do more good in the world – so you can feel what a powerful spirit you can be – thereby you start to believe more in the awesome goodness inside you!

And keep in mind the words of Abraham Lincoln: “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

Aren’t you worthy of happiness?” via Where do addictions come from? “Elf Esteem”! Karen Salmansohn.

We take care of what we value. Value your self…

September 2, 2012 7

Mind-Blowing Sugar Consumption

Mind-Blowing Sugar Consumption (Infographic).

September 1, 2012 2

As a man thinketh…

In the month of September, I’m going to go back and reread James Allen’s classic work “As a man thinketh”. Quotes like this are the reason why:

“A man only begins to be a man when he ceases to whine and revile, and commences to search for the hidden justice which regulates his life. And as he adapts his mind to that regulating factor, he ceases to accuse others as the cause of his condition, and builds himself up in strong and noble thoughts; ceases to kick against circumstances, but begins to use them as aids to his more rapid progress, and as a means of discovering the hidden powers and possibilities within himself.”

Allen, James (2009-10-04). As a Man Thinketh (p. 26). Public Domain Books. Kindle Edition.

I need to ‘bathe’ in this kind of thinking every morning. By the way, I almost neglected to mention the book is free for your Kindle or Kindle software and you can download it by clicking the book icon. Go ahead! Feed your soul. Change your life…