Onlyness

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Friend, mentor and client Nilofer Merchant expounds on the topic of ‘onlyness’:

The first step to unlocking talent in the #SocialEra is celebrating something I’ve termed onlyness.

Onlyness is that thing that only that one individual can bring to a situation. It includes the journey and passions of each human. Onlyness is fundamentally about honoring each person: first as we view ourselves and second as we are valued. Each of us is standing in a spot that no one else occupies. That unique point of view is born of our accumulated experience, perspective, and vision. Some of those experiences are not as “perfect” as we might want, but even those experiences are a source for what you create. For example, the person whose younger sibling has a disease might grow up to work in medicine to find the cure. The person who is obsessed with beautiful details might end up caring about industrial design and reinvent how we all use technology. The person who has grown up under oppression might end up advocating for freedom of speech and thus advance the condition of his country. This individual onlyness is the fuel of vast creativity, innovations, and adaptability.

Full story at: Onlyness (The Topic and the Talk at TEDxHouston) – Nilofer Merchant.

Watch the video:

Steve Jobs: Guru and Goon

Relly Nadler, M.C.C., writes:

Steve Jobs has been a fascinating case study in this blog for leadership because he was a phenomenal innovator and marketer, while demonstrating a dark side that could demonize people. This is the last entry to explore his leadership conundrum.

Newsweek this week named Jobs a top Evangelists and stated “equal parts businessman and poet he envisioned what technology could be –and then delivered it with magnificent products.” He was also vicious, arrogant, stubborn, blind to others feelings and prone to temper tantrums.  He was a star in some Emotional Intelligence competencies, while devastated others on the way to success. How do we make sense of these opposite attributes?  As leaders what do we emulate and what do we eliminate from our leadership behaviors?

In the last blog we continued to look at the DSM IV criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder for Steve Jobs as it helps us understand the two sides of Steve Jobs, his motivations and personality. This is exploratory in nature only and educational and not deemed to give him a clinical diagnosis, as he would have to be a client and interviewed personally. Many of these back stories come from Walter Isaacson’s book Steve Jobs. This exploration can help you if you see yourself in any of these descriptions and determine which ones to tune down.

In the DSM IV, the manual that helps diagnose mental disorders, you need 5 of the 9 criteria to meet the diagnosis. It looks like Jobs clearly fits 6 of the 9. We looked at three in the last blog. Two in the second blog on Jobs and here we will explore the last four.” Get the answer here: Jobs: Guru and Goon | Psychology Today.”

Nadler concludes:

“Yes Jobs was one of the most influential people of this century and his Narcissism was driving force for his vision, perfection and success. He is a leadership conundrum for what to emulate and eliminate, which will be studied in MBA and leadership programs for years to come. These last blogs can help deconstruct his complicated nature as we move onto to new leading with Emotional Intelligence topics.

For a summary of What to Emulate and Eliminate from Jobs, go to the blog at www.truenorthleadership.com.”

Relly Nadler

Nadler’s article makes for interesting reading; I suggest you go to the source to get the context of his thoughts…

By the way,  I still think the best post-Jobs retrospective I’ve read was done by Harvard Business Review writer, author [and client] Nilofer Merchant who wrote:

“Certainly, we need inspiration to show us examples of clear purpose. But I wonder what happens in a world where we each figure out why we do what we do and we can live and work from that place. We might refocus on our own work and the community with which we get that work done. We might learn to define success in our own terms. We might even come up with our own mantra around this:

  • I shall not obsess over others’ success: not copying, idolizing, or mindlessly emulating.
  • I shall know my purpose and know why I’m doing something.
  • I shall ally myself to a tribe with a common purpose, though the tribe’s members may work in vastly different fields and forms.
  • I will make ideas stronger by uniting with others to do great work, not by holding my ideas all to myself but releasing them into the wild.
  • I recognize the truth in the credo that the future is not created, the future is co-created and will do my part as a part of the whole.

In doing so, we might go from a culture of find-a-fits-the-mold superhero to a system of heroes- and heroines-next-door. We might create, rather than copy. We might initiate, rather than wait for permission. We might see ourselves as powerful enough. We might not believe that solving the many problems around us is someone else’s responsibility. We might each be willing to disrupt ourselves as Whitney Johnson suggests we do. We might reimagine our careers, with clarity of purpose, and this might show up in our work with others. We might just transform the organizing principles of the places we work. We might even end up reinventing our economy. We might recognize just how connected we are.

For my own situation when I was a kid, once I realized there was no hero coming to save me, I found ways to manage the situation. I said “enough” to what was going on. I also started to claim the things that mattered, like an education.  As a result, I was ousted from my family — but I also started developing the sense of purpose that has led me to the work I do today and the people I do it with.

The cultural change when people know their own purpose and their own power in creating change is what could change everything: for ourselves, for our organizations, and our economy. So, go ahead and buy that Walter Isaacson book. But, let’s not obsess over being the next Steve Jobs or starting the next Facebook or [whatever]. Let us, instead, be inspired to find our own purpose in the world, and a tribe of people to do it with.” Be Your Own Hero | Yes & Know“.

What say you?

Leadership Is a Conversation

The command-and-control approach to management has in recent years become less and less viable. Globalization, new technologies, and changes in how companies create value and interact with customers have sharply reduced the efficacy of a purely directive, top-down model of leadership. What will take the place of that model? Part of the answer lies in how leaders manage communication within their organizations—that is, how they handle the flow of information to, from, and among their employees. Traditional corporate communication must give way to a process that is more dynamic and more sophisticated. Most important, that process must be conversational.

We arrived at that conclusion while conducting a recent research project that focused on the state of organizational communication in the 21st century. Over more than two years we interviewed professional communicators as well as top leaders at a variety of organizations—large and small, blue chip and start-up, for-profit and nonprofit, U.S. and international. To date we have spoken with nearly 150 people at more than 100 companies. Both implicitly and explicitly, participants in our research mentioned their efforts to “have a conversation” with their people or their ambition to “advance the conversation” within their companies. Building upon the insights and examples gleaned from this research, we have developed a model of leadership that we call “organizational conversation.”

Smart leaders today, we have found, engage with employees in a way that resembles an ordinary person-to-person conversation more than it does a series of commands from on high. Furthermore, they initiate practices and foster cultural norms that instill a conversational sensibility throughout their organizations. Chief among the benefits of this approach is that it allows a large or growing company to function like a small one. By talking with employees, rather than simply issuing orders, leaders can retain or recapture some of the qualities—operational flexibility, high levels of employee engagement, tight strategic alignment—that enable start-ups to outperform better-established rivals.” Get more here: Leadership Is a Conversation – Harvard Business Review.

More on being your own hero…

Kute Blackson’s post made me think of another epic post on ‘being your own hero’ written by friend, client and Harvard Business Review author Nilofer Merchant on the deification of Steve Jobs and the lessons it holds for us…

So, it’s with that life context that I am watching the beatification of Steve Jobs. Google the term, “Steve Jobs tribute” and you get back 5 million plus results. And I’m fairly sure that’s an undercount. There’s a good reason for this; the Hero Narrative has deep roots in our culture. We find it in history books and religions, in our sports teams and, yes, even in our corporate cultures. We obsess. We deify, as if there is a single defining idea of how innovation works, what makes a leader great, or how success happens.

This is not new. It is the idea of The One and it shows up in many ways: Who will be the next leader of the free world? What nation will be the next superpower? Which visionary company is the single conqueror of industry? (It’s Amazon, it’s Google, it’s Facebook, it’s Apple!). And we have it in management disciplines with debates like: isn’t it better to have one smart person than lots of ordinary people working for our organizations?

But I wonder if this framework is wrong.

Continue reading “More on being your own hero…”

Be your own hero

One of my favorite bloggers happens to be a client. Her name is Nilofer Merchant. Of all the Steve Jobs’ ‘lessons’ that have been gleaned, I believe she has written the best and I share a part of it with you here…

“When I was growing up, I looked for a savior in just about everyone.

There were too many fruitless visits from child protective services. There were too many police cars that arrived to “quiet things down” only to let them flare up again the next day. There were too many visits to the hospital.The police men, the agency representatives, and even the hospital workers seemed unable to do anything about what they clearly knew was a problem. There were still too many holes in the wall from when the rolling pin aimed at me, missed.

Since those adults were unable to help me, it’s no wonder that I started to imagine a hero in my father, whom I did not remember and hadn’t seen since I was a toddler. I created a fantasy life where he rode to my rescue. Finally, when I was 12 years old, I met him again. And, of course, while the specific story is complicated, you won’t be surprised to find out that the person who had abandoned me when I was a baby wasn’t the person who was going to save me years later.

The day I met him, I realized something that would shape the rest of my life: there was no Hero (or Heroine) who was going to save me. I needed to save myself.

So, it’s with that life context that I am watching the beatification of Steve Jobs. Google the term, “Steve Jobs tribute” and you get back 5 million plus results. And I’m fairly sure that’s an undercount. There’s a good reason for this; the Hero Narrative has deep roots in our culture. We find it in history books and religions, in our sports teams and, yes, even in our corporate cultures. We obsess. We deify, as if there is a single defining idea of how innovation works, what makes a leader great, or how success happens.

This is not new. It is the idea of The One and it shows up in many ways: Who will be the next leader of the free world? What nation will be the next superpower? Which visionary company is the single conqueror of industry? (It’s Amazon, it’s Google, it’s Facebook, it’s Apple!). And we have it in management disciplines with debates like: isn’t it better to have one smart person than lots of ordinary people working for our organizations?

But I wonder if this framework is wrong.

Let’s take another look at Steve Jobs’s own example. He didn’t study other people; he followed his own passions. He didn’t seek meaning by trying to emulate someone else’s life, or even emulating the winning business practices of his day — as I’ve written before, he created a clarity of purpose for himself. The same principle can apply to all of us.

With all due respect to the Harvard Business Review, I’m going to ask you to follow the ‘via’ link and read the rest of Nilofer’s article and please, comment on it there…

I’m tempted to say that Nilofer is my hero, but I can hear her tell me ‘Dude. Be your own hero!‘ as clear as day in my mind. Her closing words say it all: “The cultural change when people know their own purpose and their own power in creating change is what could change everything: for ourselves, for our organizations, and our economy. So, go ahead and buy that Walter Isaacson book. But, let’s not obsess over being the next Steve Jobs or starting the next Facebook or [whatever]. Let us, instead, be inspired to find our own purpose in the world, and a tribe of people to do it with.”

Alexandra Samuel
Image by Will Pate via Flickr

Part of a series. Original version at AlexandraSamuel.com.

In my recent blog post about how to sustain your social media presence in just 3 hours a week, I advise drafting 3 blog posts in under one hour. That may sound unimaginable if (like me) you’ve fallen into the habit of turning each blog post you write into a mini-manual or philosophical essay.

But back in the day — you know, before Twitter — a lot of blog posts consisted of simply sharing a link and saying, hey, here’s something useful you should read. Now that we’ve got Facebook and Twitter, people tend to share links in 140 characters or less, and the blog-post-as-link-share has largely disappeared.

I’m all for sharing links in an efficient way, through Twitter or Facebook or even delicious. But we’ve lost something in this rapid-fire micro-sharing: we’ve lost the conversation about why something is worth sharing (or reading). We’ve lost the reflections on what we learned by reading the post we’re about to share.

And we’ve lost a great, valuable route to sustaining a blog. My 3-hour social media method relies on bringing back the “I read this and so should you” blog post. But in the era of Twitter et al., just sharing the link is not enough. You’ve got to provide some additional value….something that makes the reader glad to read your blog post, and not just annoyed you didn’t point them towards the original.

Here are seven ways to add value to a blog post you are sharing:

  1. Summarize the main argument of the post (but in a way that still encourages the reader to read the full post)
  2. Share a (brief) excerpt or two from the original post that you think was exceptionally interesting or useful
  3. Explain why you think it’s worth reading, or what you enjoyed about it
  4. Suggest another way to apply the original post’s advice or insight
  5. Raise a concern, criticism or missing piece of information
  6. Ask a question prompted by the blog post
  7. Point to another related or complementary resource, or draw a thematic connection between multiple blog posts

If you can add value to the post you are sharing in one (or more) of these ways, you can draft a useful, legitimate blog post in 10 minutes or less. Don’t believe me? Then watch this video, which records the process of writing yesterday’s blog post about digital fasts.

The excerpt above is longer than most of my curation posts, but Alexandra Samuel’s perspective is a good one that summarizes from another perspective what I was discussing with clients in a executive briefing on Friday and I wanted to accomplish three objectives here. First, show them how I first post things to my own site before sharing them with anyone. Second, how you can effectively curate content from other sources to prove your own point and third, ask people to interact with you based on the information you’ve shared. Comment below or ‘connect’ above so we can talk about how this applies to your business…

Afraid of making mistakes online?

Get over it!

“Risk aversion is the number one reason that people and organizations fail to tap the full power of social media. People often tell me that they can’t afford to make a mistake online, because any error will be just one Google search away for anyone to see, forever.

Unless you’re prepared to risk the occasional mistake, however, you’ll never do anything interesting enough to earn real attention or foster real conversation. Even more crucially, you’ll never develop the social media fluency that comes from making, and then learning from, your own mistakes.

Of course, it’s hard to embrace the upside of online mistakes in a culture that avoids admitting failure, on- or offline. So let me do my part to chip away at the fear of failure by sharing four of my own cringeworthy social media moments. Here they are.” Learning from My Online Mistakes – The Conversation – Harvard Business Review

If you’d like to read more about Alexandra Samuel’s online boo boo’s go to the source — if you’d like to make some of your own, contact me! I can help you get over it… ;-)

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