Tag: Happiness

Make it a Habit

"Praying Hands" (study for an Apostl...
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Melody Beattie says…

After I left treatment, praying in the morning became part of my routine. I prayed as though my life depended on it, because it did. I didn’t feel like I had begun my day properly unless I started it with a recovery prayer, asking for God’s help and guidance.

After my son died, I was so angry about his death that I stopped my morning routine. But there came a time when I had to get back to my routine of talking to God. It can be hard to believe that God cares about the details of our lives. It can feel awkward talking to a force we can’t see or hear.

Challenge: For me, the hardest thing about praying is that I drag my heels and balk at the discipline of regular prayer. I need to remind myself that prayer isn’t work, It works.

via melodybeattie.com
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Gratitude Breeds Acceptance

Gratitude feeds on itself. It breeds acceptance. It turns what we have into enough, and more.

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Seeing things as they are

““But you don’t know my circumstances. That won’t work for me. I don’t have it as good as other people. You should see my life. It’s a mess.” Religious leaders, psychiatrists, physicists, new and ancient philosophies agree. We don’t see things as they are, we see things as we are. When we’re restless, irritable, and discontented, everything looks bad. That’s because we’re practicing negativity. It’s a powerful form of magic, only the magic it works is dark. Practice deliberate gratitude. Force it and fake it if you must. When you look again, after practicing gratitude, you will see that we – and our circumstances have shifted into a different place.” Source: September 7: Seeing Things as They Are | Language of Letting Go

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The If, Then Game

Gendun Drup, 1st Dalai Lama
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I’d like to share part of this post from Alissa Finerman with you…

Starting early in life we learn the power of if … then statements in a very simple and seemingly innocuous way. For example, in math class we use if … then statements to learn logic. If a = b and b = c, then a = c.

The if … then game goes on and on. We play it in every area of our life – relationships, career, healthy living, and finances.

 If I am in a relationship, then I’ll be happy.

If I get a new job, then I’ll be happy.

If I lose weight, then I’ll be happy.

If I make more money, then I’ll be happy.

Society and the media influence our mind to think with a set of conditions that help us make sense and draw logical conclusions (this is helpful). But somewhere along the line, we screw up the logic and substitute our own set of conditions that do not follow and, therefore, result in irrational conclusions (this is unhelpful).  It’s important to note that happiness doesn’t require any if … then conditions. The Dalai Lama believes happiness is a choice.

Often, we create a situation in our mind, such as being happy, and make it dependent on another event. But in reality, this state of well-being is not dependent on any set of conditions other than our own mindset and perspective right now.  Things such as a starting a new relationship, getting promoted, making more money, losing weight do not necessarily equal happiness.  Happiness is available, right here – right now – in this moment, whether you are going through a major life transition or in the greatest relationship of your life. It doesn’t depend on anyone but you. By definition, if … then statements take you out of the present moment and steer your focus to the future.

via thedailylove.com

Follow the ‘via’ link above if you’d like to read the rest…

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Acting As If

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life...
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Acting as if is another recovery truism that’s been around for a long time. I still use it regularly in my life.

I know people who are not in recovery athletes, performers, artists -who use the technique too.

All it means is that if it’s time to act, we do— whether taking that action feels comfortable or not. Instead of doing nothing, or waiting for confidence, success, or inspiration to overtake and motivate us first, we go ahead and move forward with an action anyway and let the good feelings catch up to us. We act as if the desired change has already taken place.

via melodybeattie.com
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When Life Twists and Turns

Road near Rossie. The land to the left of the ...
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Today’s thought from Melody Beattie…

“Sometimes in life, no matter how deeply we intend to make the best decisions possible for ourselves, things happen. Marriages end, jobs turn sour, friends wane. For reasons outside our control or understanding, the situation twists and turns into something other than what we bargained for. Have you been waiting for a situation to revert to what it originally was—or what you hoped it would be when you got in? Are you telling yourself that there’s something wrong with you, when the reality is, the situation has changed into something other than what you thought it was? Things often don’t go as smoothly as we planned. Sometimes, we need to endure and get through the rough spots. But I’m talking about those grindingly difficult moments when life suddenly twists on us. These are the times we need to quit torturing ourselves. Let go of what you thought would happen. If life has twisted on you, don’t turn on yourself. Don’t try to make things be the way they were. Come up to speed. Return to now. Let yours elf accept the new situation at hand.The road isn’t always a straight course. Sometimes, even a path with heart unexpectedly twists and turns. God, help me relax and trust myself enough to deal with reality, not my fantasy of what I hoped it would” via August 28: When Life Twists and Turns Language of Letting Go.

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Dealing with Manipulation

Crow's Lake is one of the hundreds of lakes in...
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Melody Beattie shared this on her blog today…

A few years ago I was in Jordan on an excursion through the Middle East. I wanted to go to Pakistan, but when I got to the Pakistani embassy in Jordan, an official ordered me to go to the American embassy, miles away, saying, “You have to get a piece of paper from your government vouching for you. That’s the only way the government of Pakistan wifi even consider your request.”

I went to the American embassy in Jordan and stood in line there all day. Finally, when it was my turn, I told the gentleman why I was there. “That’s ridiculous,” he said. “There’s no such thing as an international voucher for people in the United States. That’s what a passport does. It says the American government is vouching for you, declaring you worthy and reliable to travel abroad.”

He began to speak more quietly. “He’s just messing with you,” he said, of the government official at the other agency. “Sometimes they like to play games with people, show them how much power they really have.”

I went back to the Pakistani embassy. When I returned, there was an elderly Muslim man sitting in the waiting room. He wore a turban. His head was bowed. He was reciting the Koran and rubbing his string of prayer beads.

He helped set the tone and reminded me of what I needed to do: calm down, be peaceful, stop resisting, and harmonize with the situation. It didn’t matter if the visa man was wrong and I was right. He had the power. I needed to go to him. I sat quietly waiting for my turn. When I went up to the counter, I deliberately acknowledged his point of view. Then I gently explained that I didn’t get the piece of paper he asked for from the American embassy, because that paper didn’t exist. I explained it was probably the only time in my life I’d be in this area of the world. I pointed to the poster on the wall. ‘The Himalayas are so beautiful there,” I said. “If I don’t go now, I don’t know that I ever will. You have the power to say yes or no. And I have no choice but to go along with whatever you say. It’s in your hands.”

He told me to go sit down. I did. Five minutes later, he called me back to the stand. “Here,” he said, handing me my passport. “Enjoy your visit to Pakistan.”

We have a right to get as mad as we want, but sometimes harmonizing can achieve so much more than yelling in indig nation or even fighting back. Next time you find yourself in a situation where you’re being manipulated, let go of your resistance and practice harmony instead.

God, teach me the power of moving gently, with humility and respect, through the world.

via melodybeattie.com

Thanks for letting me share this story from Melody Beattie’s blog with you. It speaks to me where I’m at right now, in fact, I wish I would have seen this story two days ago before I had to deal with dishwasher installers from HomeDepot… :-)

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If-Then Thinking

Illustration depicting thought.
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We all do it sometimes and, whether it is conscious or unconscious, it is a sure fire way to crap on the present moment.  It is living life based on a future that may or may not ever happen. I call it “If-then” thinking.  It sounds like this:   “If so and so happens, then I will begin to start living.  Then I will be happy.”  Maybe you do not realize how big a role if-then thinking can play in your life.  Take a moment and name something you’d like to have.  For some folks, it’s a promotion.  “If I get that promotion, then everything will be okay.”  Others might be thinking about finding a partner.  “If only I could find the right girl or the right guy, then I would be happy.”  Some would like to get out of the wrong situation.  “If I leave my boyfriend, then I will feel free. Or, if I divorce my wife, then it’s all good.” And still others think it’s about the money or the car or the house, “If I had a lot of money or a phat crib, then I’d get recognition, then I’d get the sex and then I’d have the power…” Blah, Blah, Blah!

Look.  There is no way to live in the present moment, to appreciate life and to be a successful person, while you are stuck in If-then thinking.  There will always be an underlying sense that something is wrong or missing, which is preventing you from being content.  Actually the only thing preventing you from being content is the thought that you are not.  I define contentment as looking at life without wishing it was different.  It is a highly advanced state of mind that does not come naturally, but which is available to us all if we work for it.  For effect, I will quote a rather coarse friend of mine who once stated, “If-then thinking shits in the face of contentment.”

via thedailylove.com

Follow the ‘via’ link if you want more…

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