Tag: God

Empty-handed, full-hearted

A closeup of a hug.
Leo Babauta shared this back in March…

We often load ourselves up when we travel, because we want to be prepared for various situations. This burden of being prepared leaves us with our arms full, unable to receive whatever is there when we arrive.

It leaves us tired from carrying, so that we are not happy when we meet someone new on our travels.

What if we traveled with empty hands, ready to embrace new experiences, receive new foods, touch new people?

We might feel less prepared when we leave, but the preparedness is an illusion. Stuff doesn’t make us prepared. Having empty hands but a heart that is full of love leaves us prepared for anything. Continue reading “Empty-handed, full-hearted” →

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Why do I do this?

Cover of "God of All Comfort (Pure Gold C...

The short answer is because I can. The long answer is because I feel it’s my duty…

I have been blogging for over 7 years and over the course of time I have developed a fast and efficient workflow for blogging. I can share ‘better and faster’ than anyone I know. In my business, I teach thinkers how to become thought leaders on the internet and how to use content management and marketing for thought leadership. I have a business blog, but this site is where I share personal thoughts — it’s kind of a personal lifestream or a personal scrapbook of the good stuff I find in my travels around the internet. The tools I use allow me to share things in seconds so why not?

I also share because I care. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 says…

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 5 For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. Source: 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NIV – Praise to the God of All Comfort – Bible Gateway

I see it as a duty to share the comfort I myself have received. It is written in the Book of James

If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. Source: James 4 NIV – Submit Yourselves to God – What causes – Bible Gateway

I share because I must…

I’m not much of an original thinker so most of my posts are simply curated content. My hope is that I’m doing my small role in the Universe to amplify good thoughts and perhaps help people find something they need when they need it. Does it work? You’re reading this aren’t you?

:-D

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Let go of low self esteem

Self esteem

Melody Beattie shares this thought for today…

“Sell-esteem is so illusive,” said Amanda. “I’ve been work­ing on my self-esteem for years. The harder I work at it, the less I seem to have.”

I believe we can let go of low self-esteem. We can turn around lack of belief in ourselves. We can become willing to forgive ourselves. We can stop tolerating treatment that doesn’t feel good to us. We can look at the dangers of defin­ing ourselves by money, power, or prestige, or by whom we know and what we have. Ultimately, we can become willing to take care of ourselves and nurture ourselves through whatever experiences life may bring.

Twelve Step programs offer two Steps that can help us build self-esteem, acceptance, and self-love. Step Six says we become entirely ready to have God take our defects of char­acter. Step Seven says we humbly ask God to remove our shortcomings. The work isn’t easy, but it is worthwhile.

For now it’s enough to become willing to let go of our low self-esteem and all the ways that low self-esteem manifests in our lives.

God, please replace my low self-esteem with self-acceptance.

Source: April 2: Let Go of Low Self Esteem | Language of Letting Go

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Your Essential Guide to Beer

If you agree with me and Benjamin Franklin that “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy”, click the image to go to the source…

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Coping devices

Pain

Good stuff from Melody Beattie…

One of the silliest things we do to cope with life is devalu­ing ourselves when bad things happen to us.

We might have experienced a lot of pain while we were growing up. So as a child we looked around and said, “Yup. This must be my fault. There’s something wrong with me.” Continue reading “Coping devices” →

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A seven-step prescription for self-love

Some people see the term ‘self love’ and immediately start to squirm, yet the Good Book says we must ‘love our neighbor as ourselves’ implying that self-love is fundamental in healthy relationship. Author Dr. Deborah Khoshaba shares her perspective here…

Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic; it grows by actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept much better our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our short-comings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning, are more centered in our life purpose and values, and expect living fulfillment through our own efforts.

Here is my Seven-Step Prescription for Self-Love. Continue reading “A seven-step prescription for self-love” →

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6 lessons for living fearless and free

Terri Cole shares her thoughts on living ‘fearless and free’ here…

Here are a few truths I have learned about transforming fear:

1. Fear Is a Feeling, Not a Fact

This is great news and comes as a surprise to most clients. We change our feelings all the time, so we can change the fear feeling also! Mortal fear is the only informed fear. If your life is in danger, the fight-or-flight response is adaptive and necessary. However, most of the time when your flight-or-fight response is activated, you are not in mortal danger. You can have an initial fear response, recognize you are not in mortal danger, and calm your mind to create clarity.

2. Your Mafia Mind Is a Bully

Your fear mind, or “Mafia Mind” as I call it, operates just like the real mafia. Instead of extorting money, your Mafia Mind extorts joy and potential happiness from your life by threatening you with what might happen. A lot of things might or might not happen, so harness the power of your intention to create what you want to happen.

3. Be Here Now

Present moment awareness is essential to stop fearful thoughts from becoming reality and dictating decisions. Never mind what was and don’t be a fortuneteller. This present moment is unique—there has never been and will never be another. So let go of the, “well this is what will happen because that’s what always happens.”

4. Meditation

A dedicated daily practice of stillness and silence strengthens your “be here now” muscle. Living more in this present moment will decrease fear-generated “future tripping” into what hasn’t happened and “past tripping” into what no longer exists.

5. Exercise Gratitude in Motion

A Johns Hopkins University study indicated volunteering as little as two hours per week increased feelings of happiness and decreased feelings of depression in volunteers. I made volunteering a mandatory experiment for clients struggling with fear and anxiety and found positive results. Fearful obsessing is very isolating. Sharing your gifts with others is the fastest way to get out of your head and into living.

6. Nourish Your Noggin

Seek help from a licensed professional. Years of my own psychotherapy before and after my year of fear created a safe space for my healing.

You have the power to free yourself from the mental prison that fear creates. Anything worth having is worth working for, and you deserve to live fearless and free.

Source: 6 Lessons to Living Fearless and Free [BLOG] « Positively Positive

Go to the source if you’d like to read the rest of her perspective…

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Healthy choices

Português: Poeta latino Ovídio.

Just in case you missed this…

The cause is hidden, but the result is known. Ovid

We know it’s coming before we do it. Our boy[girl]friend dumps us and we devour the ice cream.

We don’t get the promotion so we head for the bar. We have a fight with our spouse and treat ourselves to a new leather jacket – at his or her expense. We decide that because we’re feeling bad anyway, we might as well take full advantage of it. We figure the worse we feel, the more entitled we are to the indulgence.

This type of behavior starts a cycle. The worse we feel, the more we want to self-destruct. Let’s face it – our actions are usually premeditated.

We think about the ice cream, the drink, or the leather jacket until we can get to it. During the planning stage, we can shift gears. We think it through. We know we have a choice. We decide to do something healthy instead of destructive.

Today I will make only healthy choices for myself.

Source: March 28, 2012 – Today’s Gift from Hazelden « cmmacneil

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Letting go of fear

fear

Melody Beattie shares this from the Language of Letting Go…

Fear is at the core of codependency. It can motivate us to control situations or neglect ourselves.

Many of us have been afraid for so long that we don’t label our feelings fear. We’re used to feeling upset and anxious. It feels normal.

Peace and serenity may be uncomfortable.

At one time, fear may have been appropriate and useful. We may have relied on fear to protect ourselves, much the way soldiers in a war rely on fear to help them survive. But now, in recovery, we’re living life differently.

It’s time to thank our old fears for helping us survive, then wave good-bye to them. Welcome peace, trust, acceptance, and safety. We don’t need that much fear anymore. We can listen to our healthy fears, and let go of the rest.

We can create a feeling of safety for ourselves, now. We are safe, now. We’ve made a commitment to take care of ourselves. We can trust and love ourselves.

God, help me let go of my need to be afraid. Replace it with a need to be at peace. Help me listen to my healthy fears and relinquish the rest.

Source: March 28: Letting Go of Fear | Language of Letting Go

Fear sucks! Take care that you don’t get caught up in it…

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Solitude: the benefits it brings

Solitude

Are you lonely or alone? Consider this…

“In a study of fifth through ninth graders, Reed Larson found that over time, the older children choose to spend more time alone. What’s more, their emotional experience was improved after they had spent some time on their own. Those adolescents who spent an intermediate amount of time alone – not too much, not too little – seemed to be doing the best psychologically.

The psychologists who really do get it about the sweetness of solitude are the ones I mentioned in my last post – Christopher Long and James Averill. The title of their key theoretical article is “Solitude: An exploration of the benefits of being alone.” No apology. No befuddlement that humans might actually benefit from their time alone.

Here’s how they characterize solitude:

“The paradigm experience of solitude is a state characterized by disengagement from the immediate demands of other people – a state of reduced social inhibition and increased freedom to select one’s mental and physical activities.”

Many readers made similar observations in the comments they posted to Part 1. Although there can be benefits to spending time with others, there can also be rewards to “disengagement from the immediate demands of other people.””

Source: The Benefits It Brings | Psychology Today.

Go to the source if you’d like to read the rest of the article. Me? This reminds me of the old adage about snow. If it comes to me, it’s work. If I go to it, it’s play. Same with being by yourself. If I choose it, it’s solitude. If I feel I have no choice, I’m lonely. What do you think?

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Feeling good

Sometimes, we don’t get what we want. . . But ...

More thoughts on independence and personal responsibility from Melody Beattie…

Make yourself feel good.

It’s our job to first make ourselves feel better and then make ourselves feel good. Recovery is not only about stopping painful feelings; it is about creating a good life for ourselves.

We don’t have to deny ourselves activities that help us feel good. Going to meetings, basking in the sun, exercising, tak­ing a walk, or spending time with a friend are activities that may help us feel good. We each have our list. If we don’t, we’re now free to explore, experiment, and develop that list.

When we find a behavior or activity that produces a good feeling, put it on the list. Then, do it frequently.

Let’s stop denying ourselves good feelings and start doing things that make us feel good.

Today, I will do one activity or behavior that I know will create a good feeling for me. If I’m uncertain about what I like, I will experiment with one behavior today.

Source: March 27: Feeling Good | Language of Letting Go

Sometimes, when I feel angry or inadequate I either go for a brisk walk or I do something that I’m really good at. In a perfect world, I shut out distractions and do both. It’s a tonic for the soul…

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Control

Cover of "The Language of Letting Go (Haz...

Melody Beattie shares…

Many of us have been trying to keep the whole world in orbit with sheer and forceful application of mental energy.

What happens if we let go, if we stop trying to keep the world orbiting and just let it whirl? It’ll keep right on whirling. It’ll stay right on track with no help from us. And we’ll be free and relaxed enough to enjoy our place on it.

Control is an illusion, especially the kind of control we’ve been trying to exert. In fact, controlling gives other people, events, and diseases, such as alcoholism, control over us. Whatever we try to control does have control over us and our life.

I have given this control to many things and people in my life. I have never gotten the results I wanted from controll­ing or trying to control people. What I received for my ef­forts is an unmanageable life, whether that unmanageability was inside me or in external events.

In recovery, we make a trade-off. We trade a life that we have tried to control, and we receive in return something better — a life that is manageable.

Today, I will exchange a controlled life for one that is manageable.

Source: March 26: Control | Language of Letting Go

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Now is the Time to Appreciate the People Who Have Helped You

“No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks.” -James Allen

via Now is the Time to Appreciate the People Who Have Helped You | Tiny Buddha: Wisdom Quotes, Letting Go, Letting Happiness In.

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Here’s How To End Suffering Once And For All

Love On The Rocks...lol

Mastin Kipp of The Daily Love shares this…

I am not saying that painful things in your past didn’t happen, but what I am saying is that they no longer have to be painful. And it’s not as easy as changing your mind once or twice. It takes work, and reps, like in the gym. But if you try and try enough over time, new life and new meaning can emerge.

One of the best ways I know how to do this is to take ourselves out of our own story and step into the thoughts, feelings and beliefs of the person who hurt us. Not so we can make right what they did, but so we can begin to understand the painful event from their point of view.

As I have guided clients through this process, the outcomes have been amazing. Forgiveness on a whole new level of themselves and others. And of VERY traumatic events.

The point of forgiveness is not to make right what happened, but to bring a new sense of empathy and compassion to all involved – this includes you.

The best way to get back at people who have hurt us is to forgive them, because that is how we break the bond over the painful event. And from there, when we step into their shoes of how they must have been thinking and feeling, we begin to understand that their actions were not truly against us, but a request for Love or Significance in a very messed up way; that was the best way that they knew how to at that time.

Source: Here’s How To End Suffering Once And For All!

Go to the source if you’d like the rest of his perspective on the issue…

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Behold…

“Behold, the Kingdom of God is within you.”

– Jesus Christ,  Luke 17: 20-21.

via Today’s Quotes: IT’s NEVER TO LATE!.

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Dykes of courage…

We must constantly build dykes of courage to hold back the flood of fear. — Martin Luther King, Jr.

via March 21, 2012 – Today’s Gift from Hazelden « cmmacneil.

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It’s Not Your Thoughts That Matter, But How You Feel About Them!

Kute Blackson shares these thoughts today…

There is so much talk these last few years about how important your thoughts are.

It’s like the latest trend to believe…

That your thoughts literally create your reality.

That you must only think positive thoughts.

Sometimes we get so scared about the slightest negative thought, that it freaks us out. We become negative about our negative thoughts.

We have over 65,000 thoughts each day, most of which are happening too fast to even keep a track of.

I have a secret for you!

It’s the SECRET secret: It’s not just what you think about that matters, but how you FEEL about what you think about that makes the real difference. Continue reading “It’s Not Your Thoughts That Matter, But How You Feel About Them!” →

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Don’t Dwell on It, Revision It!

Rarely is dwelling on the past seen in a positive light. Nor should it be. Thinking too much about times gone by typically keeps your mind–and life–stuck in neutral (and maybe even shifts it into reverse). If you habitually ruminate over your earlier life, you may regularly be revisited by feelings of anger, guilt, resentment, sorrow, or shame. And such emotions are hardly productive. In many ways, they’re downright toxic. Fretfully obsessing about the people and events precipitating such negative feelings can lead to endless recycling. Becoming increasingly stagnant, or fixated, your thinking really can’t progress toward any adaptive resolution.

Moreover, returning to the past to rehearse old dissatisfactions and grievances–even to replay images of earlier triumphs–and idly preoccupying yourself with irreconcilable thoughts about them, can result in self-reproach, lamentation, remorse, and even bitterness. Using your mental energy for such a doubtful purpose can catapult you into the inextricable pit of woulda, coulda, shoulda. With the result that you can end up consumed with regret–what French existentialist, Albert Camus, has referred to as the most futile of emotions.

Yet, to be fair, dwelling on the past does have certain short-term advantages. For instance, you might become preoccupied with earlier events of success by way of rationalizing present-day frustrations and failures. If you haven’t been able to live up to the hopes of others–or to your own expectations–you might find temporary comfort in reliving past accomplishments. But while focusing on past positives may afford you some relief from current disappointments, by itself it does nothing to direct (or re-direct) your efforts to further your objectives in the here-and-now. And if you’re to realize your full potential in life, you need to squarely focus on what you can do right now to fulfill your promise–not on what you achieved in bygone times.

Source: The Past: Don’t Dwell on It, Revision It! Part 1 | Psychology Today

Go to the source if you’d like to read the rest of Leon Seltzer’s article…

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A pause that refreshes…

When I leave the home needing a little detachment, I’m grateful that my commute to work is only 3.3 miles and that one of the midwest’s most beautiful lighthouses is blocks from my office…


Click image to enlarge…

Sometimes, I listen to my YouVersion bible while I walk the breakwater. Today, Proverbs 16 came up in my reading plan…

1 To humans belong the plans of the heart,

but from the LORD comes the proper answer of the tongue.

2 All a person’s ways seem pure to them,

but motives are weighed by the LORD.

3 Commit to the LORD whatever you do,

and he will establish your plans.

via Proverbs 16 NIV – To humans belong the plans of the – Bible Gateway.

Running a business on my own is not always easy. Sometimes an open day on my calendar seems like an abyss. As one of those social media ‘gooroos’, there are never any shortage of distractions to satisfy the ‘ADD’ in me. That’s when I turn to my Higher Power and contemplate my 11th Step guidlines…

Preparing for the Day Ahead
  • We ask God to direct our thinking, asking especially that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.
  • We consider our plans for the day. We can now use our mental faculties with assurance.
  • If we face indecision or we can’t determine what course to take, we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take it easy.
  • We pray to be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of problems.
  • We ask especially for freedom from self-will. [We might also pray for help with specific defects or problem areas, and review our 10th step corrective measures for the day ahead.]
Prayers to be of Use
  • We ask for guidance in the way of patience, kindness, tolerance and love especially within the family.
  • We pray as to what we can do today for the person who is still sick. [We might also pray for specific people in need, or those with whom we’re angry.]
Spiritual/Religious Exercises
  • If appropriate, we attend to our religious devotions, or say set prayers which emphasize 12 Step principles.
  • We may read from a spiritual book.
Practicing the 11th Step Throughout the Day
  • We pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action.
  • We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.” Source: 11th Step Guidelines

You don’t have to have abused a substance to benefit from a 12 Step program! Celebrate Recovery — the Christian version of the AA 12 Step program — has been helpful to me in dealing with ‘hurts, hangups and habits’ and it may benefit you, too. God bless YOU today as you move into your week…

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Anger at Family Members?

English: A metaphorical visualization of the w...

Yes. Melody Beattie again. I read her every morning. Today’s post included this thought…

At some point, strive to be done with the anger. But we need to be gentle with ourselves if the feelings surface from time to time.

Thank God for the feelings. Feel them. Release them. Ask God to bless and care for our families. Ask God to help us take freedom and take care of ourselves.

Let the golden light of healing shine upon all we love and upon all with whom we feel anger. Let the golden light of healing shine on us.

Trust that a healing is taking place, now.

Help me accept the potent emotions I may feel toward family mem­bers. Help me be grateful for the lesson they are teaching me. I accept the golden light of healing that is now shining on me and my family. I thank God that healing does not always come in a neat, tidy package.

Source: March 19: Anger at Family Members | Language of Letting Go

Go to the source if you’d like to read her entire post…

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So much easier

English: Jesus Christ - detail from Deesis mos...

I think Jon Swanson is on to something here…

It would be so much easier to follow Jesus if he called us.

If I were at work one day and he walked by and said, “come on, follow me.”

If I were doing what I’ve spent my life preparing to do and he said, “I’ll show you how to use those skills for something meaningful.”

If I were in the middle of daily life and I looked up and could actually hear his voice with my ears and see his face with my eyes and smell whatever he smelled like.

If his invitation to do something worthwhile with my life were real and tangible.

It would be so much easier if Jesus literally said my name and said “Follow me.”

I mean, if that happened, I would never have any questions at all about what he was saying. It would always be clear.

If that happened, I would always be happy just to be close to him.

If that happened, I would be ready to tell all the people I saw at the grocery store when I was buying supplies

Hey! This food? Jesus is going to eat it. Yep. That Jesus. I know him. I’ve watched him do the most amazing stuff! I mean, paralyzed people walking. People with demons? Poof. Gone. People who are sick? Fever, gone, like that. You name it, he gets rid of it.

Hey, that cough? Come on. Let’s talk to Jesus about that. I mean, I know him. He was walking by one day and called out my name. We’re like this. In fact, we couldn’t be any closer if he lived in me. Yeah, I know. Sounds weird. But it’s like that.

If one day I really believed that Jesus actually wants me? Cared about me?

That would be so amazing.

Source: So much easier. « 300 words a day

I must not believe or I wouldn’t act this way. I wouldn’t struggle like I do. What do you think?

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